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I Enjoy Being an Alcoholic!!!

  • 10-02-2021 1:03pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    This is unusual perhaps, but I drink maybe 6-cans a night - and have done so quite extensively over the past few years. I'm in my late 20s, too, and do try to balance alcohol intake with a very good diet and extensive exercise.

    The problem is this: that I enjoy drinking alcohol at night. I know many people get depressed and drink because they are sad or responding to stress or some other negative reason, but I have no reason at all to be depressed. I have quite a good life and I don't have anything bad going on.

    I make over 120,000 per year, so affording beers each night isn't much of an issue either.

    At least when someone is depressed, there is a clear path toward quitting alcohol. It's almost easier I suppose. But I'm drinking it because I enjoy it, in the same way, a smoker (I don't smoke) enjoys the act of smoking even with the full knowledge of the damage it can do.

    It's a bit of a Catch-22.

    I know it can cause long-term damage, but I enjoy it in the short-term.

    Also, many people would classify my drinking habit like that of an "alcoholic", even though, as I said, I'm quite a positive, upbeat, and hard-working individual.

    But I could be fooling myself. Hence why I've offered to throw this out for legitimate critique and to analyze your interpretation of what some might consider a bad habit.

    Thanks in advance for any replies received.


«1

Comments

  • #2
    fizzypish
    Registered Users Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭fizzypish


    Sounds stupid but hobbies/other interests. When you have some you may be less inclined to drink. Used to do a bit of scrambling years ago. Stopped drinking the nights before I went out on the bike. The joy of the hobby was such that I didn't want the booze to ruin it for me. Its can be difficult to get into things. Try something and see if you like it. Also, I didn't think I had a drink problem for years... until I did. If you think you've an issue just stop for a week and see how difficult it is. Go from there. Alcohol problems ranges from the drunk on the street with shaking hands till they get a drop all the way to someone who just drinks at the weekends but gets plastered because they can't handle their own emotions/life issues.
    Gluck


  • #3
    KaneToad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,426 ✭✭✭KaneToad


    freakish_habit wrote: »
    Also, many people would classify my drinking habit like that of an "alcoholic", even though, as I said, I'm quite a positive, upbeat, and hard-working individual.

    But I could be fooling myself. Hence why I've offered to throw this out for legitimate critique and to analyze your interpretation of what some might consider a bad habit.

    Thanks in advance for any replies received.

    Alcoholics are dependent on alcohol. It doesn't matter how hard working or upbeat you are.

    Are you dependent on alcohol? If so, you're an alcoholic.

    If not, you're just a heavy drinker - 6 cans a day is above recommended levels.


  • #4
    wildwillow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,185 ✭✭✭wildwillow


    Go without alcohol a few days each week to give your liver a chance to recover.

    If you can't do that you should seriously consider not drinking at all. As others have said, you need a hobby or something to interest you. Not easy with lockdown but plan towards reducing the alcohol intake.


  • #5
    fizzypish
    Registered Users Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭fizzypish


    KaneToad wrote: »
    Alcoholics are dependent on alcohol. It doesn't matter how hard working or upbeat you are.

    Are you dependent on alcohol? If so, you're an alcoholic.

    If not, you're just a heavy drinker - 6 cans a day is above recommended levels.


    Just to add to this. The term alcoholic stings. Even after I quit, I would have bristled if someone called me an alcoholic (Not so much now). Don't get bogged down in the terms OP. If the drink is effecting your life negatively then its a problem. Don't worry about the level of the issue or the name, just try deal with it or seek assistance in dealing with it. A problem can simply be, its occupying time I could be doing something more enjoyable. Not to be a smart arse but by asking the question, on some level you know its some level of issue. Quitting can be as tough as full on AA and therapy or it can just as easily be a few months of boredom till you figure out how to occupy your time better.


  • #6
    piwyudo0fhn57b
    Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭piwyudo0fhn57b


    It's bad if it starts to control you and your life but perhaps reduce the intake for the health of your organs and taking hobbies and other interests as previously suggested is a good idea too


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  • #7
    global23214124
    Registered Users Posts: 279 ✭✭global23214124


    I think if you carry on at that rate its 100% going to lead to issues down the line. If you think its not an issue but have a niggling feeling that it is then try and go without it for a few weeks and see how you get on. If you are having that much to wind down every night it's too much.


  • #8
    Doublebusy
    Registered Users Posts: 210 ✭✭Doublebusy


    120k is that after tax
    I wouldn't have time to be an alcoholic or drink six cans a night if i had that dollar


  • #9
    Outkast_IRE
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,516 ✭✭✭Outkast_IRE


    Have a family member in a similar situation , earns well over 100k and would of started out like yourself , few drinks each night . Now though its developed to the point where once Friday night hits he can't stop after a few , could stay up till 5or6am drinking on his own after his wife is gone to bed. Saturday and Sunday daytime is a write off until the afternoon .

    It's also effected his thoughts and actions towards those around him , can be nasty buy can hide it well in front of others . Hates being called out on his issues.

    Doctor is warning him as his bloods are starting to come back with some abnormal readings , the damage is very real .

    No real hobbies , keeps fit in the Gym , keeps his appearance up . Needs to be a bit flash and show off.


  • #10
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    Your liver doesn't enjoy 6 cans a night, you're giving yourself an avoidable chronic condition. But you must know that, so if your perception of your alcohol habit is pure enjoyment, it's false and it has you in its grip.
    Quit it tonight, are you able to?


  • #11
    shesty
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,914 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    I think you're in your 20s and it might seem fine by now, because your body is handling it now (appearing to, anyway).

    Give it another 5-10 years, and you will be back here asking how to stop.


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  • #12
    o1s1n
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,253 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    What is a beer, 220 calories?

    That's 1,320 calories a day in beer alone. Over half your overall recommended daily intake. Nearly 10,000 in a week.

    I doubt you're exercising enough to offset that, you'd need to be hitting the gym non stop.

    Sure fire way of piling on the weight.


  • #13
    TheadoreT
    Registered Users Posts: 925 ✭✭✭TheadoreT


    Drinking a 6 pack at home every night for years does sound depressive, moreso for the lack of potential interesting alternatives of which there are so many.

    Have you had relationships in this time? Cant imagine many partners would be overly happy with your compulsions, unless alcohol dependent themselves.

    That level of drinking is hugely damaging to your health too so for that reason alone you need to cut down significantly.


  • #14
    K.Flyer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,565 ✭✭✭K.Flyer


    Yeah, I know someone who was very similar, similar alcohol intake every night, hard worker, very athletic person, no weight issues, energetic, didn't think it was a problem etc etc.
    Then after years of this several pints almost every night, started to get a few pains, bit of blood in toilet, went to the doctor.
    He was told to stop drinking immediately or he could be dead within the year.
    Now he realises that he did / does have a problem because he is having difficulty stopping because he stops for maybe a few days / a week, then binges.
    He could be dead in a year from the damage that's done if he doesn't completely stop.
    So, as others have said, 6 pints every night is not healthy. At the moment you are young and your body is working to cope with it. But it won't be able to cope for long.
    Don't end up like my friend who is struggling to hit the brakes before crashing into an open grave at a very young age.
    Try cut it down, try get the alcohol intake to moderate levels, enjoy a few pints, but give your body a chance to deal with it.
    Also... If you didn't think that there may be something wrong with your drinking habits, you wouldn't be on here asking, just a thought ;)


  • #15
    Rubberchikken
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,083 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    Can you go nights without any?
    Why does it have to be 6?

    Wouldn't 1 or 2 do occasionally?

    It doesn't matter how much someone earns or how much exercise etc you're getting if behind it all you're not actually happy with the alcohol consumption.
    Have you brought it up for a particular reason?


  • #16
    ManOfMystery
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery


    Some people can drink a lot and simply enjoy it, without being pigeonholed into the category of 'alcoholic' (which has implied inferences, like you're drinking because of some trauma or slipping into addiction and wreaking havoc on your finances/family/etc).

    Your post makes it sound like drinking 6 tins a night is a total non-issue for you. Be that as it may, I always think if you get into too much of a habit with anything in life - it can be difficult to get out of. Whilst you are feeling 100%, subconsciously you are building a dependence on it. The same applies with constantly overeating, gambling, smoking, even smaller things like routines you have.

    So if you're as certain as you think that it's a non-issue, why not just knock it on the head for a couple of weeks - a holiday from the beer - and see if you truly feel the same without it? Then you'll know if it's an issue or not.

    If nothing else, a detox will be good for your body. On that health note, 6 tins a night in your 20s may be something your body can handle but it's not a long-term routine you want to get into - you are putting yourself at risk of chronic liver issues, high blood pressure, cancer and worse. Because beers and other drinks are packaged up, branded and advertised in such a convincing way, I think people often forget that alcohol is a toxin. And ingesting too much of any toxin for a long time can never be good.


  • #17
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for all the responses.

    I've seen a few themes in the responses, so thought I'd bulk address these.

    Many have asked that I must think there's a problem if I'm posting it here. That's absolutely true - I'm aware of the health consequences and that's clearly not a good thing; in the same way, smokers damage their lungs but still continue, so do I with drinking and aware of the harmful consequences on my liver. I suppose the point I was trying to make is that it's almost harder to quit drinking when you enjoy it.

    In terms of income, it's almost all passive. So, I don't need to work that much - maybe 1-2 hours a day, even if that.

    At night, things can get a bit boring, so I guess drink fills in the gap and helps you get things done or pass the time by. And it's quite enjoyable, as I've said. I've mostly been very work-centered the past few years, and it has worked financially. One of the downsides I suppose is that passive income gives you an awful lot of free time.

    That said, I do think the health consequences are a serious issue. Even though I've said I'm healthy - as I eat very well and conduct exercise every day - I just weighed myself and found that I'm now 102.6kg. I was a bit surprised by this; I thought I was around 94kg or so!

    Maybe my clothes stretched with time, and lockdown didn't help with that either I suppose.

    Hmm, in any case, that weight is very high. It is a BMI of almost 32.

    For that shocking reason, I think it's time to change. So I'm cutting out alcohol going forward. I'll need to replace that time with something else; honestly, I'm not quite sure! I don't have that many pastimes. As I say, I've been work-centered the past few years. That's always been my sole focus.

    If I can get down from 102.6kg to around 90kg by the start of April, I think that would be good progress. But it means cutting out the alcohol permanently. I'm guessing my sleep will be disturbed tonight. I hope that doesn't lead me to want to return to alcohol tomorrow. I'll keep you updated here. Maybe it will help others, too - or they can join in.

    Again, I appreciate the advice and recommendations. Keep it coming.


  • #18
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    Hi Op,

    Your thread title and subsequent details come across quite facetious and could be perceived as insulting to genuinely struggling alcoholics. You call yourself an alcoholic in your title and even go so far as to say you enjoy being that way - is that really true? I've known a few alcoholics over the years and I've never heard any of them say they enjoy it. Most are struggling and going through personal hell.

    That said, not all alcoholics are struggling or going through hell and I know myself that I enjoyed my drinking days (they're not over, just on hiatus at the moment) for the most part. Having a few beers in the evening is great! It relaxes you, makes you feel warm and fuzzy and helps you sleep. However, the internal unseen damage it's doing is undeniable and although you're not feeling the full impact now in your 20's, it will inevitably catch up on you. I know you say you're upbeat and don't really see it as an issue and if that's the case then maybe you're not an alcoholic, perhaps you're just a heavy drinker.

    Maybe take a break from the 6 cans a night routine just to reassess the situation and seehow you feel. If you physically and emotionally feel pretty much the same and decide you genuinely prefer life with a six pack in hand then go nuts but if you feel notably different in a positive way then perhaps it's time to cut back a bit. You could have maybe 4 beers a night or drink 3 nights a week as oppossed to 7. Good thing is you're only drinking beer which is the least damaging tipple you could choose. If you were necking 6 glasses of gin or vodka a night, I think it would be more worrying and substantially more damaging.

    lastly OP, at least you're honest and open about your drinking and enjoyment of it. My sister is similar, she drinks wine every night and has no intention of stopping. She has a gorgeous apartment, a great job and on the surface would appear to be content and happy but I can definitely see the effect it's having on her as an observer, albet a subjective obsever cos I love her and am concerned about her drinking. As I said though, she doesn't think it's a problem at all and her answer is .. give it up? Are you insane? It's my absolute favourite thing in the world!!

    Personally, I view alcohol as an enemy masquerading as a friend and if you get on his bad side, you had better watch out!


  • #19
    o1s1n
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,253 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    freakish_habit wrote: »
    Again, I appreciate the advice and recommendations. Keep it coming.

    When you say you exercise, what are you doing exactly?

    I gave up booze there for a few months, from November through to January. I'd been cycling a lot every day and was really enjoying getting fit, didn't want anything to take away from it.

    At the end of January I had to make a decision, stay off forever or find some middle ground that allowed me to keep up with the fitness and not be impacted by the empty calories of booze and the general sense of lethargy it brings.

    I do really enjoy a drink with friends and family, so decided that during the week is sober town, but I can have a few on the weekends if I'm meeting people. No more single glass of wine with dinner during the week or a bottle of beer while watching a movie on Wednesdays etc. That's really when it becomes habit forming.

    Seems to be working well so far!


  • #20
    TheadoreT
    Registered Users Posts: 925 ✭✭✭TheadoreT


    That update fairly contradicts your opening post, you said you balance the drinking with a healthy diet and exercise but you're in the obese weight range so it isnt balanced in the slightest. Obviously BMI isnt always the best gauge but packing in that many added calories a week has to go somewhere and the weight reflects it. This only heightens your health risks. And I wouldn't be comparing it to smoking either, problems could surface very soon for you if you continue at that rate, while both are very bad for you in excess, heavy drinking is much more harmful in the short to medium term.

    If work takes up so little time I think you need to find a passion or purpose to fill your time and not have the 6 cans at night be the highlight of your day. Perhaps take on some charity work, god knows theres enough in need of help right now.


  • #21
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,943 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    I think the bottom line is you are putting your future health at risk even if you feel fine now.
    Try cutting down. If you can’t you might need to seek professional support because this is not sustainable.


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  • #22
    Taxburden carrier
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 557 ✭✭✭Taxburden carrier


    OP, if you’re getting €120k a year maybe you should be seeking out professional advice rather that looking for online suggestions


  • #23
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 14,384 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    I've known a few people like you who in their late 20s "enjoyed a few cans" regularly (every day in your case) . Without question the people I know who fell into that category were heavily alcohol dependent by late 30s, early 40s to the extent where it causes problems in their personal lives.

    You seem fairly confident in yourself and nobody can tell you that you're going to end up dependent. But if you're already worrying about withdrawals, disturbed sleep, boredom etc.. Then maybe you're more dependent than you think and rather than "enjoying" a few cans you need a few cans.


  • #24
    leggo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    OP you’re rationalising your drinking quite a lot here, and I found the need to mention how much you earn a bit bizarre and irrelevant tbh. The only way I can weigh all of that up with the fact that you’re here asking to begin with is that you sound like you’re in a bit of denial while also being somewhat conscious there’s an issue. Your post reads to me as, “I’m fine. I’m better than fine in fact, look how much I earn, I’m AMAZING...what’s wrong with me?”

    At the end of the day OP only you can decide if you’ve got a problem and only you can decide to help yourself. None of us can make that decision for you and you won’t be helped if you don’t want to be. So what I’d suggest is figure out yourself why you felt the need to post to boards.ie asking if you were an alcoholic if you were as happy as you say you are.

    If you decide that you are, then people can help you. But where you’re at now, mindset-wise, someone could spend decades trying to tell you you’ve a problem, and you could destroy your life without even realising, and it’d mean absolutely nothing to you. So really us telling you anything is kinda pointless.


  • #25
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 7,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    You say you balance it out with extensive exercise, but is that really the case? You can't be getting the full benefit of a work out on the back of 6 cans a night and all the knock on effects that has? You've even discovered that today with the surprise weight gain.

    You're trying to convince yourself that you have the perfect balance, but I'd say the reality is very different. Its affecting you physically already and you're excusing it by comparing yourself to someone who is addicted to something else so that you can get some sort of license to keep going. I know its bad for me but....

    If you only work 1 to 2 hours a day you're likely getting all your day to day things and exercise done during the day too. Its to be expected you'll have time on your hands in the evening.

    Its good you've decided to take a break from it. I hope you succeed with it and more importantly stick with it even if it proves tough initially. You'll be doing yourself a massive favour if you get to grips with it now.


  • #26
    tara73
    Registered Users Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭tara73


    freakish_habit wrote: »
    If I can get down from 102.6kg to around 90kg by the start of April, I think that would be good progress. But it means cutting out the alcohol permanently. I'm guessing my sleep will be disturbed tonight. I hope that doesn't lead me to want to return to alcohol tomorrow. I'll keep you updated here. Maybe it will help others, too - or they can join in.

    OP, your second post tells so much more than the first. In the first you more or less wanted to prove yourself (and us) you don't really have a problem, or more so, it can't be you have an alcohol problem mainly because you're enjoying alcohol so much.
    that's a really 'funny' way of justifying having a drug problem. Sure, that's the nature of drugs, they make us feel better, especially in the first times of taking them and the amount not yet completely out of control because the body gets more and more used to it.

    otherwise why take them at all, if they wouldn't make us feel good, we could also drink 6 glasses of milk, water, whatever each evening.

    from alcohol and nicotine it takes a lot of time and consumption to be really physically dependent, and with physically I mean having tremors and such. but the mental dependency is there much quicker.

    after I read this (highlighted quote) from you, you definately have an alcohol problem. you are already kind of on the physical dependency because your sleep seems dependent on it.
    But you have good plans, try to stick to them and don't feel ashamed to take on professional help if you feel you won't make it.


  • #27
    golfball37
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,715 ✭✭✭golfball37


    Being a heavy drinker with a regular schedule doesn’t make you an alcoholic.
    If you drink more than intended every time you pick up and if you can’t stop or quit on your own volition.

    Answering yes to both of those is the minimum requirement to be an alcoholic. The op can keep to 6 cans and stop at that so doesn’t qualify


  • #28
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    golfball37 wrote: »
    Being a heavy drinker with a regular schedule doesn’t make you an alcoholic.
    If you drink more than intended every time you pick up and if you can’t stop or quit on your own volition.

    Answering yes to both of those is the minimum requirement to be an alcoholic. The op can keep to 6 cans and stop at that so doesn’t qualify

    Ridiculous summation. What if my intention is to drink a bottle of vodka every night and I stick to that, by your logic because im sticking to my intended limit, I don't have a problem.

    We also don't know yet if he can quit on his own volition but even if he can it doesn't mean he's not an alcoholic. Not all alcoholics seek professional help, many manage to stop of their own accord. Conversely, many alcoholics who go into treatment fall off the wagon. My dad used to do 6 week drying out programmes in St. Pats and would go to the pub literally straight from the hospital!

    Alcoholism is complex and can't be boxed into two questions. You're trivializing an extremely serious issue.


  • #29
    leggo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Yeah that all sounds like the logic of an addict: making up random standards that are worse than them to prove they don’t have a problem. Those goalposts tend to shift too as they break every rule and hit each low barrier.

    Another common one you’ll get from alcoholics is comparing their drinking habits or lives to the worst example they know (and even seeking out these people as drinking buddies sometimes just to feel better by comparison), so just because they’re not homeless, incomprehensible and wetting themselves they couldn’t possibly have a problem!


  • #30
    ManOfMystery
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery


    leggo wrote: »
    Another common one you’ll get from alcoholics is comparing their drinking habits or lives to the worst example they know (and even seeking out these people as drinking buddies sometimes just to feel better by comparison), so just because they’re not homeless, incomprehensible and wetting themselves they couldn’t possibly have a problem!

    My own father is a shining example of this. His father was an alcoholic, and he grew up in a very, very poor household because so much of the little money they had was pissed away. I cringe sometimes when I see people today with smartphones and huge TVs and decent houses pleading poverty, when I've heard some stories of my father's childhood which outlined what poverty truly is.

    My old man by comparison has done very well in business and would be considered wealthy by any account. He sees no harm in drinking every evening because it's never affected his ability to provide for his family, and he has a perception that drink is only an issue if it is financially detrimental to your family. He either ignores or is oblivious to the other effects of this - emotional, health, etc.

    It's a strange cycle of events. Growing up in such a poor household is arguably what gave him (and continues to give him, even at OAP age) this huge hunger to succeed, but his understanding of alcohol addiction and it's effects on all concerned is totally skewered and viewed through a very narrow lens.


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  • #31
    Wanderer2010
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,742 ✭✭✭Wanderer2010


    Id be very happy to be an alcoholic too if i was earning 120,000 a year and only in my twenties.


  • #32
    bitofabind
    Registered Users Posts: 939 ✭✭✭bitofabind


    The above post is just flat out dumb and irresponsible. Alcoholism kills and destroys people from the inside out, money is irrelevant.

    Hi OP. Glad to read your latest update and resolve to do something about this. No amount of financial success or being ahead of the game materialistically is going to save you from a miserable life and premature death when it comes to addiction. That's not a good measure for whether you have or don't have a problem. Some of the worst addicts I know are millionaires, stuffing coke up their noses and self-destructing into early graves. You can do better than this.

    I noticed a pattern of not doing thing by halves from your posts. Working yourself up to a high level of wealth at a relatively early age, binge drinking in the evenings, now trying to lose two stone in two months. This is not a healthy way to live and will catch up with you, if not with the alcohol then with burnout and ill health in the next few decades. I think it's time to get to the root cause, and if I were you I'd be looking for professional support, find someone to talk to about all of this.


  • #33
    tara73
    Registered Users Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭tara73


    Wanderer2010 wrote: »
    Id be very happy to be an alcoholic too if i was earning 120,000 a year and only in my twenties.


    what kind of ridiculous stuff is spouted out here ? this is not AH.

    As if money on your bank account is saving you from life threatening health issues because of alcoholism.


    After say twenty years on the booze and switching also to hard stuff because 6 cans of beer isn't doing it anymore, about to face death because of irreparable liver cirrhosis I think you would wish to be on the dole instead of facing death because your f*** money won't help here.


  • #34
    cannotlogin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭cannotlogin


    I had 2 friends in my 20s who jokingly told me at various stages they were alcoholics when at the time I genuinely just considered them frequent or heavy drinkers.

    One got a huge fright after being hospitalised & was facing a jail sentence in his early 30s and sorted himself out since. Completely tee total now & very into health and fitness but still attends the odd AA meeting when he's stressed.

    The others just like you. She was then & is now. Two bottles of wine a night (I suspect more). She appears functioning to those who don't know her well but typically doesn't last more than 2 years in any job absenses, poor performance but tells everyone she needs a new challenge.(She has either lost it when challenged or been fired),her relationships don't last 5 minutes (tells everyone she got bored with him but again drinking is the real reason), has lost numerous friendships too, is completely emotionally stunted & has not matured since her 20s,her family relationships are strained, house shares don't last long, she's broke despite earning good money, looks at least 10 years older than the rest of it.

    It's sad really and I don't think she even knows who she is without the alcohol. There are rare moments she when it seems like she'll finally address it but it never lasts long. She started out just like you.

    Talk control of it while you can because soon enough it will control you. By the way, she started with 4 bulmers or 2 glasses of wines a night.


  • #35
    leggo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    cannotlogin wrote: »
    The others just like you. She was then & is now. Two bottles of wine a night (I suspect more). She appears functioning to those who don't know her well but typically doesn't last more than 2 years in any job absenses, poor performance but tells everyone she needs a new challenge.(She has either lost it when challenged or been fired),her relationships don't last 5 minutes (tells everyone she got bored with him but again drinking is the real reason), has lost numerous friendships too, is completely emotionally stunted & has not matured since her 20s,her family relationships are strained, house shares don't last long, she's broke despite earning good money, looks at least 10 years older than the rest of it.

    It's sad really and I don't think she even knows who she is without the alcohol. There are rare moments she when it seems like she'll finally address it but it never lasts long. She started out just like you.

    I had an ex like this. Idealised drinking (which, btw, is addict behaviour) and struggled to see the impact it had on her life because it was the same as it always had been...because she’d always been drinking!

    You’ll regularly hear addicts go on like the OP saying how happy he is on €120k a year but you often don’t notice the things in life that pass you by. You don’t feel sad or miss them because, if you’re addicted, all you want is the thing that you’re addicted to. But that addiction is just filling a void (even if that void is just an empty life, eg empty evenings that’d be spent doing nothing if not drinking), it’s masking real emotions that you can only suppress so much and need to medicate daily to do so. The double-whammy of addiction is that those emotions will catch up to you AND then you’ll have to deal with the consequences of being an addict (strained relationships, physical affects etc). It’s a vicious cycle which is why most just accept it’s their life now and tell themselves they’re okay/happy with that.


  • #36
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    I agree with the above post and just wanted to add something else that struck me about your updated post.

    You're a self proclaimed alcoholic according to your thread title and are quite happy to drink 6 beers every night. However, in your follow up post you've realised your weight has crept up and flippantly say so I guess that means I'm off the booze now. You make it sound like it's that simple to just flick the switch. It's a worrying and somewhat naive attitude and, again, I feel it's borderline insulting to genuine alcoholics.

    I hope it is that easy for you to just stop but I've a feeling you may be unpleasantly surprised.
    Fair play for addressing it either way, I just feel a harsh wake up call may await you.


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  • #37
    tdf7187
    Registered Users Posts: 1,597 ✭✭✭tdf7187


    Doublebusy wrote: »
    120k is that after tax
    I wouldn't have time to be an alcoholic or drink six cans a night if i had that dollar

    Given that this post received a few thanks and there was another post from a different poster expressing a similar view, it seems like there's a lot of misunderstanding about addiction on this forum. Alcoholism has nothing got to do with income levels. In fact there was a report from the UK in recent years which found that the highest income quadrant were the heaviest alcohol consumers. Neither has it anything to do with how much or how little free time a person has. Any person with an addiction issue will find the time to feed their addiction no matter how busy they are, make no mistake. The implication that high earners wouldn't have time to drink is also a bit weird and wrongheaded to be honest. High earners are more likely to be in jobs were they can delegate a lot of work and don't necessarily work huge hours.

    There are plenty of well-known examples of successful and wealthy people, and people from the upper class developing addiction issues, e.g the Ikea founder Ingvar Kamprad, Edward St Aubyn (novelist who wrote the Patrick Melrose series), Gottfried von Bismarck (great grand nephew of the legendary 19th chancellor of Germany), etc. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous documents many histories of people with alcohol problems who were succesful in their careers. Indeed, the founder of AA, Bill W, was mostly relatively financially successful even when he was still in active addiction.

    Addiction is addiction and has nothing got to do with social class, income levels, etc. If you earn more than average you might be able to afford more expensive wine, and are more likely to have private health insurance and therefore might have a better range of options regarding inpatient treatment, that's literally the only difference. Liver disease and other illnesses associated with alcohol abuse, including mental illness, don't discriminate.


  • #38
    Porklife
    Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    Completely agree with the post above and found it interesting to read. I know i keep chiming in Op but it's because addiction is an issue i hold close to my heart having grown up around it and ultimately losing both my parents to it. I guess it hits a nerve with me when I see thread titles like yours adorned with exclamation marks like its something to shout proudly from the rooftops - I'm an alcoholic and its bloody fantastic..pass the Gin!!

    I just hope you realise that it's a sensitive subject for alot of posters and I hope you're taking it seriously. I wish you the absolute best and respect you for starting a thread with your concerns, I hope you take the advice on board..even if just to mull over.


  • #39
    tdf7187
    Registered Users Posts: 1,597 ✭✭✭tdf7187


    Porklife wrote: »
    Completely agree with the post above and found it interesting to read. I know i keep chiming in Op but it's because addiction is an issue i hold close to my heart having grown up around it and ultimately losing both my parents to it. I guess it hits a nerve with me when I see thread titles like yours adorned with exclamation marks like its something to shout proudly from the rooftops - I'm an alcoholic and its bloody fantastic..pass the Gin!!

    I just hope you realise that it's a sensitive subject for alot of posters and I hope you're taking it seriously. I wish you the absolute best and respect you for starting a thread with your concerns, I hope you take the advice on board..even if just to mull over.

    I've done my 'field research', being a recovering alcoholic. :D Been in treatment twice....John of Gods and the same place your dad was in, Pats.


  • #40
    dubrov
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,609 ✭✭✭dubrov


    OP, you are a clever guy so already know the answers to what you are posting.

    Many people drink heavily in their twenties but most naturally slow down as the hangovers get worse and other priorities take over. Some don't and end up in a bad way.

    The longer you keep drinking as you are now, the harder the habit will be to break.
    I'd say if you gave it up last night, you are already inventing excuses to get back on it tonight (sure I feel fine, what's the harm in a few pints tonight, I'll just have a couple).


  • #41
    BiggJim
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 149 ✭✭BiggJim


    freakish_habit wrote: »
    This is unusual perhaps, but I drink maybe 6-cans a night - and have done so quite extensively over the past few years. I'm in my late 20s, too, and do try to balance alcohol intake with a very good diet and extensive exercise.

    The problem is this: that I enjoy drinking alcohol at night. I know many people get depressed and drink because they are sad or responding to stress or some other negative reason, but I have no reason at all to be depressed. I have quite a good life and I don't have anything bad going on.

    I make over 120,000 per year, so affording beers each night isn't much of an issue either.

    At least when someone is depressed, there is a clear path toward quitting alcohol. It's almost easier I suppose. But I'm drinking it because I enjoy it, in the same way, a smoker (I don't smoke) enjoys the act of smoking even with the full knowledge of the damage it can do.

    It's a bit of a Catch-22.

    I know it can cause long-term damage, but I enjoy it in the short-term.

    Also, many people would classify my drinking habit like that of an "alcoholic", even though, as I said, I'm quite a positive, upbeat, and hard-working individual.

    But I could be fooling myself. Hence why I've offered to throw this out for legitimate critique and to analyze your interpretation of what some might consider a bad habit.

    Thanks in advance for any replies received.

    Good man fair play to you. As long as it's not affecting your work I don't see any harm in having a few drinks every night. I often do it myself.


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  • #42
    o1s1n
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,253 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    BiggJim wrote: »
    Good man fair play to you. As long as it's not affecting your work I don't see any harm in having a few drinks every night. I often do it myself.

    I'd hardly call six cans 'a few'


  • #43
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks again for the responses thus far.

    I'd respectfully disagree with those posters who suggest that 6-cans per day is acceptable. Even if I enjoy something, it doesn't necessarily make it right or good. Toxins cause damage, there's no escaping that fact - even if you enjoy the consequences of said toxin.

    Some posters mention that I "don't do things by half" in my attempt to eliminate alcohol and shed the pounds. That's certainly true. Why wait? I'm very impatient and when I want something, I dedicate myself to that goal. This challenge is no different. I've since managed to avoid alcohol in the past 3-days, instead re-organizing my evening in terms of both exercise and cooking, as well as chilling with documentaries or comedy series. I've stopped working in the evening, instead just doing that work at another time in the day.

    I have aimed to lose 12.6kg by the beginning of April and I intend to meet that target come hell or high water, which is achievable only if I cut out the alcohol.

    That said, did I miss my habit? Yes.

    Did my sleep become disturbed? Yes.

    I suppose that's natural.

    Having drunk incessantly each evening over the past couple of years, this is natural I suppose and to be expected.

    I think I read before that it takes 21-days for a new habit to become manifest. I'm on Day 3, which is 14% of that goal.

    I hope by the 21st day I look back in horror at the weight gain that I managed to accrue over these past years and hope that I lament the time and money spent on such a habit that has done nothing but decay my body in the way that it has. Perhaps even worse if I were to take a blood test and harvest the smaller details.

    That said, I appreciate the advice. I reject the idea that I was "insulting" alcoholics' plight by suggesting that I enjoyed it. I did enjoy it - there's no way to eliminate that fact. It also demonstrates that alcoholism can come in many forms.

    Keep the feedback coming. I hope it helps others, too, as much as possible.


  • #44
    bilbot79
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,043 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    Take every third month off it altogether. Lots of recovery for your body. Guilt removed


  • #45
    sporina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,940 ✭✭✭sporina


    OP, bottom line, you know that 6 pints a night is wayyyy over the safe level.. (17 units/week for men = 8.5 pints)...6 pints x 7 = 84 units :eek: and thats without a break.. yikes..
    So you know the health risks.. so if you don't have a problem, like you say, then based on that knowledge alone it should be easy for you to quit, no?

    But be mindful, not all alcoholics drink cos they are depressed etc... some like you just enjoy it, but it can become an addiction, and so struggle to stop! Like, smoking, most people who smoke are addicted to nicotine, they might just start cos of peer pressure or what ever.. then you know.. they become hooked.

    But if I wer you I would ask yourself some Qs... like, how and why did you get into the habit of drinking 6 pints a night? Are you bored? Lonely? Do you have meaningful relationships in your life? Do you have a girlfriend? I am just wondering about all the things you might be missing out on while your drinking 6 pints/night.. not many girls would like that, unless they are drinking with you.
    Anyway, you don't have to answer those Qs here - just something for you to think about maybe.
    I don't think anyone would carry on to drink 6 pints a night knowing the consequences.. unless they had a problem giving up.

    You said you are gonna stop now cos you realised your weight - if thats the case - good for you - maybe you just needed some evidence of the consequences. But I would be doubtful its as black and white as that.
    In any event, best of luck with it.


  • #46
    strandroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,676 ✭✭✭strandroad


    BiggJim wrote: »
    It wasn't all that long ago when you could drive after having 5 pints. 6 cans isn't excessive imo.

    This is what is recommended as low risk drinking for men:

    Men: Less than 17 standard drinks (170g pure alcohol) spread out over the week, with at least two alcohol-free days

    The OP is having (depending on the strength of the beer) 42 to 84 standard drinks a week, and no alcohol-free days. It's definitely excessive. Thankfully he's willing to address it.


  • #47
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 7,152 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Mod Note

    Hi OP

    Thank you for your update. It looks like you're taking on board what's been said and that's great and its good you see the problems that may face you if you continue as you are and you're taking action to change things for yourself.

    If you require further advice, I can of course leave the thread open for you - that's exactly what Personal Issues is for. However if you wish to post about your progress and seek feedback on it, the Non Drinkers Group maybe of more benefit to you. Posters here are asked to offer advice when replying to threads and they can't do that if thats not what you're looking for.

    You can let me know here or PM me or one of the other mods in PI and we'll go from there. In the meantime, until you clarify we'll go on the basis it's continued advice you're looking for.

    Thanks

    HS

    ETA - Thanks for clarifying OP. We'll keep it going as it is - on the basis that it's for continued advice for you on your issue.

    Thanks again

    HS


  • #48
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Just give it up. Life is better - far, far better, without it. I was where you were, for years. That sense of invincibility that youth brings. All the qualifications under my belt, secure job and all the bells and whistles. Wasted years, and, yes, for me waste of time, talent, opportunity and career progression is the defining feature of all that drinking. Time - that time doesn't come back. That's the outstanding fact. Now is the time when you need to build up your resources for later in life, including having children if you're going that road. You don't want to be in your 50s paying for kids because you pissed away these years.

    Think of all the time you've wasted in that lost status of drinking. The life, the opportunities you have had to create a richer more vibrant world for yourself. How many months/years of your life have you wasted drinking/on something that will never be satisfied? You'll always come back for more. You'll always be that drink away from "happiness". It is a bottomless pit, and you should have the wit to know that somewhere in your consciousness.

    There's so much ineffably stupid "Oirish" thinking about alcohol in our culture - most commonly, the "you can't have a good time without alcohol" stuff. Ignore the clowns. Ignore it all, ditch your servitude and start to live again. Life is a million times better without it.


  • #49
    TheadoreT
    Registered Users Posts: 925 ✭✭✭TheadoreT


    Trying to drop 2 stone in 6 odd weeks is a bit ridiculous. You're doing it "come hell or high water" comment is a bit extreme, it's almost trying to replace one addiction with another (albeit not as damaging). You should be looking at this as a long term change in life habits and a sensible and gradual approach should be adapted. Crash diets are famously unsuccessful in the medium to longterm both due to psychological and scientific reasons.

    Chuck the scales out, eat a healthy and balanced diet, cut down on sugar significantly, keep up the exercise and better if it's a sport you're passionate about so it will keep you interested going forward and occupy some if that time you have on your hands. The weight will fall off you and you won't be obsessing about daily gains or loses as that sort of short term obsessing on weight can cause relapses when people think they're hit a plateau despite hard work.


  • #50
    sporina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,940 ✭✭✭sporina


    TheadoreT wrote: »
    Trying to drop 2 stone in 6 odd weeks is a bit ridiculous. You're doing it "come hell or high water" comment is a bit extreme, it's almost trying to replace one addiction with another (albeit not as damaging). You should be looking at this as a long term change in life habits and a sensible and gradual approach should be adapted. Crash diets are famously unsuccessful in the medium to longterm both due to psychological and scientific reasons.

    Chuck the scales out, eat a healthy and balanced diet, cut down on sugar significantly, keep up the exercise and better if it's a sport you're passionate about so it will keep you interested going forward and occupy some if that time you have on your hands. The weight will fall off you and you won't be obsessing about daily gains or loses as that sort of short term obsessing on weight can cause relapses when people think they're hit a plateau despite hard work.

    ekk - yes - that would be my fear too..


  • #51
    leggo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    TheadoreT wrote: »
    Trying to drop 2 stone in 6 odd weeks is a bit ridiculous. You're doing it "come hell or high water" comment is a bit extreme, it's almost trying to replace one addiction with another (albeit not as damaging). You should be looking at this as a long term change in life habits and a sensible and gradual approach should be adapted. Crash diets are famously unsuccessful in the medium to longterm both due to psychological and scientific reasons.

    Chuck the scales out, eat a healthy and balanced diet, cut down on sugar significantly, keep up the exercise and better if it's a sport you're passionate about so it will keep you interested going forward and occupy some if that time you have on your hands. The weight will fall off you and you won't be obsessing about daily gains or loses as that sort of short term obsessing on weight can cause relapses when people think they're hit a plateau despite hard work.

    This all day, excellent post!

    OP whatever caused you to think you ‘need’ 6+ cans a night to do basic human tasks like sleeping (you don’t) won’t be filled by becoming a gym freak. Sure your long-term health might be better - as long as you don’t relapse or take that to excess, which I fear you may do based on your immediate goals - but the only difference then is that you’ll be jacked and wondering what’s wrong with you.

    So get to the topic that you’re drinking and talking about losing 2 stone in 2 weeks to avoid: why you need to do this excessive stuff to feel whole?

    It’s not an overnight thing but you can see real progress quickly and this way you’ll come out the other side a well rounded person comfortable in yourself and not needing to drink or lift yourself to sleep every night.


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