Family Occasions during restrictions

Gael23 · 07-12-2020 12:07am #1

For anyone that has had an important family occasion or milestone birthday the last few months or coming soon whit did you do or have planned?

It’s my 30th Birthday in April 2021 and I want to mark it in a meaningful way as much as possible. Wouldn’t want a huge party even in normal times but just all my family together and some friends/work colleagues. Have people just sheltered planes for a year and had only more immediate family?
I don’t mean to come across as selfish by the way, it’s a once off occasion and I want to mark it in some form, pariticularly having come out the other side of some health issues in recent years

Beasty · 07-12-2020 12:15am

Managed to get a cake on my 60th a few weeks ago. Happy enough with that

Gael23 · 07-12-2020 12:18am

Beasty wrote: »

Managed to get a cake on my 60th a few weeks ago. Happy enough with that

Did you have it with your children/grandchildren?

07-12-2020 12:20am

Gael23 wrote: »

For anyone that has had an important family occasion or milestone birthday the last few months or coming soon whit did you do or have planned?

It’s my 30th Birthday in April 2021 and I want to mark it in a meaningful way as much as possible. Wouldn’t want a huge party even in normal times but just all my family together and some friends/work colleagues. Have people just sheltered planes for a year and had only more immediate family?
I don’t mean to come across as selfish by the way, it’s a once off occasion and I want to mark it in some form, pariticularly having come out the other side of some health issues in recent years

Why not delay celebration for a couple of months and have an open air do?

Other once offs are 21st's. 40th's etc. All very worthy of celebration. I've missed funerals of 5 cousins due to Covid. Three family members have postponed their weddings, two have actually gone ahead and had small do's. Realistically, the number of people important to you, other than parents and siblings, are very few.

Smee_Again · 07-12-2020 12:21am

Wedding was planned for July but it’s now postponed until next July.

Other than that my dad’s milestone birthday didn’t happen, he had a major health scare earlier in the year so we’d planned something for him and a sibling’s wedding has also been delayed.

All can be rearranged and the important thing is that we can all get together safely in the future, it’s a small price to pay for that.

Tork · 07-12-2020 12:21am

Depending on what the covid figures/vaccination rollout are like by April, the people you invite will have mixed feelings about your party. Some might be delighted but there might be others who wish you hadn't invited them and may feel you have put them on the spot. Others might think you're a selfish ass for holding a party and they won't give a toss about your health issues. How many people do you intend to invite and what sort of venue?

Beasty · 07-12-2020 12:24am

Gael23 wrote: »

Did you have it with your children/grandchildren?

3 of my children are at school/college - yes they were here as the college is operating on a basis on 2 out of every 3 weeks they study remotely

No I didn't see my other child or grandchild

Beasty · 07-12-2020 12:25am

And I did miss my nephews wedding

That's the world we are currently living in

Risteard81 · 07-12-2020 12:26am

My brother was 40 in August. He's in Melbourne. We just had a crappy Zoom call.

Gael23 · 07-12-2020 12:26am

Deleted User wrote: »

Why not delay celebration for a couple of months and have an open air do?

Other once offs are 21st's. 40th's etc. All very worthy of celebration. I've missed funerals of 5 cousins due to Covid. Three family members have postponed their weddings, two have actually gone ahead and had small do's. Realistically, the number of people important to you, other than parents and siblings, are very few.

Yes as I said I’m not talking huge numbers even in normal time’s. We have a small enough family and a few live abroad so would just be parents, grandparents 2 aunts and a few cousins that do live in Ireland then family friends and some work colleagues.
I have been thinking of just going out for a nice meal to mark the day and then a bigger thing perhaps in the summer

Gael23 · 07-12-2020 12:31am

Tork wrote: »

Depending on what the covid figures/vaccination rollout are like by April, the people you invite will have mixed feelings about your party. Some might be delighted but there might be others who wish you hadn't invited them and may feel you have put them on the spot. Others might think you're a selfish ass for holding a party and they won't give a toss about your health issues. How many people do you intend to invite and what sort of venue?

Not huge, just family and some close family friends along with maybe a few work colleagues. I had my 21st at home and would be happy to do that again, depends on cost really

Thats me · 07-12-2020 12:38am

Gael23 wrote: »

Yes as I said I’m not talking huge numbers even in normal time’s. We have a small enough family and a few live abroad so would just be parents, grandparents 2 aunts and a few cousins that do live in Ireland then family friends and some work colleagues.
I have been thinking of just going out for a nice meal to mark the day and then a bigger thing perhaps in the summer

Sorry, but yourself in your age is highest possible spreader (the peak of cases was trending to be somewhat past 20, and 30 is close to that). I think you may be better to have a drink with friends of same age, but not involving parents or, even worse, grand parents who are much more vulnerable. Believe me, you will have many good occasions to celebrate with family after all this **** will finally end.

Wantedbymany · 07-12-2020 12:40am

Gael23 wrote: »

For anyone that has had an important family occasion or milestone birthday the last few months or coming soon whit did you do or have planned?

It’s my 30th Birthday in April 2021 and I want to mark it in a meaningful way as much as possible. Wouldn’t want a huge party even in normal times but just all my family together and some friends/work colleagues. Have people just sheltered planes for a year and had only more immediate family?
I don’t mean to come across as selfish by the way, it’s a once off occasion and I want to mark it in some form, pariticularly having come out the other side of some health issues in recent years

What is stopping you from having a good family get-together? Rules? Let me tell you what is happening right now with these ( rules ) they are rules not law never will be law they tried to give powers to gardi to enter any property they heard a noise that sounded like a gathering they weren't long about dropping that after the riots in dublin over it, have your party enjoy your family and friends best you can. I wouldn't be worried about anything

Tork · 07-12-2020 1:06am

Unless you are dumb about this, you can easily have a party and not have the guards coming to the door. The question is what the people you care about will think. That's your judgement to make. Can you not hold off on the party until the summer and organise something outdoors then?

skimpydoo · 07-12-2020 4:06am

My 50th birthday was in October. As I live alone I celebrated it with a group FaceTime with my family. I also treated myself to a lovely takeaway from Rolys Bistro.

Jim2007 · 07-12-2020 7:17am

Wantedbymany wrote: »

What is stopping you from having a good family get-together? Rules? Let me tell you what is happening right now with these ( rules ) they are rules not law never will be law they tried to give powers to gardi to enter any property they heard a noise that sounded like a gathering they weren't long about dropping that after the riots in dublin over it, have your party enjoy your family and friends best you can. I wouldn't be worried about anything

Right, because you, unlike everyone else, knows that there is no long term effect of having had this virus and you don't mind looking foolish by putting your health at risk, with the end game insight.

Jim2007 · 07-12-2020 7:24am

Gael23 wrote: »

I don’t mean to come across as selfish by the way, it’s a once off occasion and I want to mark it in some form, particularly having come out the other side of some health issues in recent years

Do you really want your birthday to be remembered going forward as the day - "X caught the virus and died"....

We don't know what the long term impact of having had this virus might be - none, reduced life expectancy, on going health issues... so you take the minimum risks necessary not the maximum allowed.

Honestly, if you've over come serious health issues in recent times, there is no reason to put yourself at further risk, just for a birthday.

drunkmonkey · 07-12-2020 7:42am

Jim2007 wrote: »

Do you really want your birthday to be remembered going forward as the day - "X caught the virus and died"....

That's a crazy way to look on life. This idea that your sick until proven healthy has to end. It's completely incompatible with being human.

We rented out a sound system and lights set them up in a friends summer house (outdoors) for a big number birthday party his elderly parents came along, only rule was if anyone was sick to stay away. Great night had by all, nobody died or even got a sniffle.

Have your party Gael, keep sick people away, enjoy yourself.

suicide_circus · 07-12-2020 7:47am

skimpydoo wrote: »

My 50th birthday was in October. As I live alone I celebrated it with a group FaceTime with my family. I also treated myself to a lovely takeaway from Rolys Bistro.

What food did you get :P

Jim2007 · 07-12-2020 7:55am

drunkmonkey wrote: »

That's a crazy way to look on life. This idea that your sick until proven healthy has to end. It's completely incompatible with being human.

Nobody said that but you.

Try explaining yourself to a twelve year old:

"Yes, I knew we were within striking distance of a vaccine, but I went a head anyway and had a big party.... unfortunately I caught the virus and I did not know that it had long term impacts, so I just went for it....."

Taking risks for no good reason is not being human, it's being stupid.

07-12-2020 8:29am

I think April 2021 is a long way away yet.

Make tentative plans to have your outdoor party for the summer months and be content with that. Then, if it all looks good 2 weeks before your actual birthday, maybe book a family meal then.

Be prepared not to take offence if your invitation is declined, though.

drunkmonkey · 07-12-2020 9:43am

Jim2007 wrote: »

"Yes, I knew we were within striking distance of a vaccine, but I went a head anyway and had a big party.... unfortunately I caught the virus and I did not know that it had long term impacts, so I just went for it....."

Taking risks for no good reason is not being human, it's being stupid.

What does the vaccine do for our current situation, it's not going to eradicate the virus, risk is always going to be there the same with any other resperatory virus. The flu kills 4 irish children every year we don't shut down society because of it. Covid hasn't claimed one life here under 12. The average age of people dying with this is to quote "in their late 80's"
The average stay in a nursing home before passing away is 30mts.

People are more than capable of managing their own risk and should be give back that right. This is not the killer we thought it was and poses little risk to those who aren't already comprised with another serious condition.

I've no issues with quarantining sick people but these restrictions of healthy peoples lives needs to end.

Tork · 07-12-2020 10:54am

How do you know who will and won't get very sick from this? I know a 40 year old who caught covid and had a rough time with it. He is fit, not carrying any weight and has no underlying conditions. He was in agony for days.

woodchuck · 07-12-2020 11:09am

I think a lot of people, myself included, have had a Covid birthday at this stage! Mine was in May, so the restrictions were still pretty tight at the time. I just stayed in with my partner, who cooked me a meal and baked me a cake (it was very entertaining I have to say :P). I caught up with friends/family over zoom etc, but didn't meet up in person. I got a lot of presents delivered though, which was nice!

I saw plenty of people having small outdoor parties in parks over the summer. Depending on what the weather is like in April, that could be an option for you. Personally I wouldn't organise anything too elaborate atm (and these days a sit down meal is elaborate :rolleyes:). Maybe the situation will be a lot better in April, but you'd be better off waiting until closer to the time to see what the lay of the land is.

I know it's your birthday, but it is just a birthday. They come around every year for everyone, so it's not a once in a life-time occasion that people are going to prioritise. You can always have a big bash for your 31st instead the following year (you'd bloody hope everything will be back to normal by then!). There are more important events being missed than birthdays. I've already had to postpone my wedding and may need to postpone it again, along with countless others doing the same. There are far too many people who have missed funerals of loved ones.

ixoy · 07-12-2020 11:15am

I'm just happy to be able to go out for a meal for my birthday - for once a December birthday is an advantage!
And it's crazy that this is how it is at the moment - wow! I can go out for a meal on my birthday!

I'll do a small celebration with family but that will have to wait until closer to Christmas when it's allowed.

Mad world!

Gael23 · 07-12-2020 12:19pm

woodchuck wrote: »

I think a lot of people, myself included, have had a Covid birthday at this stage! Mine was in May, so the restrictions were still pretty tight at the time. I just stayed in with my partner, who cooked me a meal and baked me a cake (it was very entertaining I have to say :P). I caught up with friends/family over zoom etc, but didn't meet up in person. I got a lot of presents delivered though, which was nice!

I saw plenty of people having small outdoor parties in parks over the summer. Depending on what the weather is like in April, that could be an option for you. Personally I wouldn't organise anything too elaborate atm (and these days a sit down meal is elaborate :rolleyes:). Maybe the situation will be a lot better in April, but you'd be better off waiting until closer to the time to see what the lay of the land is.

I know it's your birthday, but it is just a birthday. They come around every year for everyone, so it's not a once in a life-time occasion that people are going to prioritise. You can always have a big bash for your 31st instead the following year (you'd bloody hope everything will be back to normal by then!). There are more important events being missed than birthdays. I've already had to postpone my wedding and may need to postpone it again, along with countless others doing the same. There are far too many people who have missed funerals of loved ones.

I had one this year and we just got a takeaway with some trimmings that we wouldn’t get usually and a cake. If it wasn’t a milestone birthday I’d be more than happy to do that again, it didn’t bother me at all.

Tork · 07-12-2020 1:01pm

Do you know how the people you intend to invite feel about Covid? This birthday is obviously very important to you but nobody else will care particularly. It sounds a wee bit self obsessed tbh. Would it not be better to wait until more people are vaccinated, restrictions aren't needed and you can do this properly?

During the summer a family member had a birthday party which I went along to. It soon became obvious that they were acting as if there was no covid. There were too many people there, of all ages (more than we had been led to believe). No measures taken to space tables/chairs out or to move outside where they had no shortage of room. The weather was good at the time so it wouldn't have been an issue. It was enjoyable at the time because it was great to see everyone but afterwards, it made me stop and think.

Thankfully everybody was fine but a couple of family members privately expressed reservations about it afterwards. If one person there had had covid, many of us would have got it. That would have included people in their late 70s who had travelled thinking it was a small outdoor get together. I'm sure someone will come along to shriek fear/hysteria but I'm just making the point that people think differently about these sorts of events. I know that some family members have since cited covid restrictions as reasons not to visit this person but I have a feeling that's isn't strictly the case.

Jim2007 · 07-12-2020 2:04pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Be prepared not to take offence if your invitation is declined, though.

Yes, my daughter’s class were all for a class reunion party in May 2021, as it turned out all 23 declined the invitation! Which surprised me as they are all in their early 20s.

Jim2007 · 07-12-2020 2:16pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

What does the vaccine do for our current situation, it's not going to eradicate the virus, risk is always going to be there the same with any other resperatory virus. The flu kills 4 irish children every year we don't shut down society because of it. Covid hasn't claimed one life here under 12. The average age of people dying with this is to quote "in their late 80's"
The average stay in a nursing home before passing away is 30mts.

People are more than capable of managing their own risk and should be give back that right. This is not the killer we thought it was and poses little risk to those who aren't already comprised with another serious condition.

I've no issues with quarantining sick people but these restrictions of healthy peoples lives needs to end.

Except it’s not just your risk, it’s the risk you put everyone that comes in contact with you.

And you no more than anyone else has not got the foggiest idea as to what the consequences of having had this virus are because it has not been around long enough to allow us to draw any fact based conclusions.

Now I have no intention of responding further.

miezekatze · 07-12-2020 3:42pm

I had a milestone birthday during the first lockdown, was planning to go on holidays for it. Instead we ordered afternoon tea for the 2 of us and then a takeaway in the evening. My husband has a milestone birthday coming up in a few days, we will get a meal for takeout from a local restaurant and also see his parents. We wouldn't be into big parties anyway so it doesn't really bother us that much. It's only a birthday, and we are adults after all. I think it's a bit reckless and inconsiderate to have a proper birthday party right now, just do it next year instead.

stargazer 68 · 07-12-2020 4:32pm

miezekatze wrote: »

I think it's a bit reckless and inconsiderate to have a proper birthday party right now, just do it next year instead.

It is next year - its April! What part of next year - May, July wait until December or even 2022??

Tork · 07-12-2020 4:41pm

stargazer 68 wrote: »

It is next year - its April! What part of next year - May, July wait until December or even 2022??

Do you have an insight into what the covid figures will be like next year?

woodchuck · 07-12-2020 4:51pm

Gael23 wrote: »

I had one this year and we just got a takeaway with some trimmings that we wouldn’t get usually and a cake. If it wasn’t a milestone birthday I’d be more than happy to do that again, it didn’t bother me at all.

I really don't think there's any point planning something this far out anyway. Wait until April/May and see how we are with the pandemic then. If you need to do something very low key... it sucks, but it's just the way it is for everyone atm. Just be glad it's only a birthday you're planning and not a wedding :rolleyes: Birthdays can be planned very last minute at least. You could plan it on a weeks notice if you needed/wanted to.

stargazer 68 · 07-12-2020 4:56pm

Tork wrote: »

Do you have an insight into what the covid figures will be like next year?

Do you?

Tork · 07-12-2020 4:57pm

stargazer 68 wrote: »

Do you?

No. Which is why op should wait and see. This doesn't have to go on into 2022.

miezekatze · 07-12-2020 5:57pm

stargazer 68 wrote: »

It is next year - its April! What part of next year - May, July wait until December or even 2022??

Sorry, I didn't realise it was in April. In that case I'd wait, who knows what things will be like then.

Shlippery · 07-12-2020 6:05pm

Gael23 wrote: »

For anyone that has had an important family occasion or milestone birthday the last few months or coming soon whit did you do or have planned?

It’s my 30th Birthday in April 2021 and I want to mark it in a meaningful way as much as possible. Wouldn’t want a huge party even in normal times but just all my family together and some friends/work colleagues. Have people just sheltered planes for a year and had only more immediate family?
I don’t mean to come across as selfish by the way, it’s a once off occasion and I want to mark it in some form, pariticularly having come out the other side of some health issues in recent years

Ah April, yer lucky! All my mates turned 30 this year which made a balls of a lot of plans. (Lockdown in March...ah we'll be grand by the end of summer...)

I'd mine last week and was fortunate enough to be able to get a substantial meal / few drinks with 4/5 pals on Friday but I would have been keen on having a big party had it been a normal year! (next stop 40 sure..))

Also couldn't do much for Mams 60th as sister is abroad...and everywhere was shut at the time.

What we have done though is all the lads pooled together 50 quid per bday into an account and we're gonna use it towards a big '****off' holiday in 2021 and use the money to cover spending money / accommodation, so we'll have something to mark the 30th at least!! (Everything crossed we'll be able to travel at end of June, but who knows..)

skimpydoo · 07-12-2020 7:26pm

suicide_circus wrote: »

What food did you get :P

A lovely steak and mash with peppercorn sauce.

Deagol · 07-12-2020 8:01pm

I'm currently aged 49B

- It was my 50th birthday in October but it wasn't possible to have the big party at home as I originally planned with relatives coming from all over etc. So, I decided to pretty much ignore it (spent it in isolation in a hotel for work) and next year (fingers crossed) I'm going to have the big bash I planned. It's just a number after all!

OP - maybe you should be 29 for another year

Mrs OBumble · 07-12-2020 8:09pm

Tork wrote: »

If one person there had had covid, many of us would have got it.

Not necessarily: I've seen material from the HSE which says that only about 10% of close contacts get it. That matches the experience of people I know, where some household members got it, and some didn't.

Fr_Dougal · 07-12-2020 8:11pm

Beasty wrote: »

Managed to get a cake on my 60th a few weeks ago. Happy enough with that

Was there cocaine in it?

08-12-2020 7:25pm

Deagol wrote: »

I'm currently aged 49B - It was my 50th birthday in October but it wasn't possible to have the big party at home as I originally planned with relatives coming from all over etc. So, I decided to pretty much ignore it (spent it in isolation in a hotel for work) and next year (fingers crossed) I'm going to have the big bash I planned. It's just a number after all!

OP - maybe you should be 29 for another year

I actually love this idea!

endacl · 08-12-2020 7:27pm

Just realised I’ve managed to avoid three weddings this year.

COVID has an upside!

eviltwin · 08-12-2020 7:31pm

My daughter is emigrating to Japan in January and we’d have had a going away party so everyone can say their goodbyes but that won’t happen. It will be a zoom call which is awful and is absolutely breaking her granny’s heart that she won’t be able to hug her goodbye but what can we do? It shouldn’t be this way but it is what it is.

Risteard81 · 11-12-2020 10:17am

eviltwin wrote: »

My daughter is emigrating to Japan in January and we’d have had a going away party so everyone can say their goodbyes but that won’t happen. It will be a zoom call which is awful and is absolutely breaking her granny’s heart that she won’t be able to hug her goodbye but what can we do? It shouldn’t be this way but it is what it is.

Only if you let it be.

Gael23 · 20-12-2020 1:17am

Deagol wrote: »

I'm currently aged 49B - It was my 50th birthday in October but it wasn't possible to have the big party at home as I originally planned with relatives coming from all over etc. So, I decided to pretty much ignore it (spent it in isolation in a hotel for work) and next year (fingers crossed) I'm going to have the big bash I planned. It's just a number after all!

OP - maybe you should be 29 for another year

Having birthday cards up a year late won’t seem right though, and everyone won’t see it Athens same way either

Dunfyy · 20-12-2020 1:24am

By April a lot more people will have covid
You don't want to get it while hospital is full as they will not have a breathing machine or staff to run it
Ask each friend or relative would they die for you if 5hey say yes then invite them

Gael23 · 20-12-2020 9:24am

Let’s hope the at risk groups are all vaccinated by then

silver2020 · 20-12-2020 9:36am

Many people I know have simply decided to postpone the Christmas gathering to Easter and the hope is sister in US, brother in UK and the rest of us around the country will make Easter one hell of a good time. - Assuming our mum and some others in the group have had the vaccine.

Gruffalux · 20-12-2020 9:41am

eviltwin wrote: »

My daughter is emigrating to Japan in January and we’d have had a going away party so everyone can say their goodbyes but that won’t happen. It will be a zoom call which is awful and is absolutely breaking her granny’s heart that she won’t be able to hug her goodbye but what can we do? It shouldn’t be this way but it is what it is.

One of mine has been away for 18 months and what they do is write granny regular postcards and phone from time to time. Granny is thrilled with it especially as what we get are whatsapp jokes and Granny feels she is special and getting the proper stuff

As for celebrating I think beach picnics and forest/hill jaunts have a new role to play. Coffee in flasks, hampers in the boot, good rain gear or you may be lucky and get sun. I have had some lovely get together picnics by the sea this year. You feel great afterwards too. Even if it is not good weather it is kind of fun getting lashed on with people you love around you laughing.

kowloonkev · 20-12-2020 9:41am

Weddings and Christmas I can sympathize with people. The financial layout and stress of weddings must take its toll at normal times but to have to postpone indefinitely must be tough. Also spending Christmas alone woud be very difficult for a lot of people.

If anyone is actually moaning about not having their own birthday party during Covid then their sense of self importance must be off the charts.

Family Occasions during restrictions

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