What's the etiquette here??

28-08-2020 12:22pm

JP Liz V1 wrote: »

**** Happens

Indeed it does. However it's the how, when and where that makes this thread so interesting and amusing.

padd b1975 · 28-08-2020 7:59pm

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

I'd say Johnny was in Clifden the day Big Phil and his cronies were having their golf do, trying to talk his way in to the party.

Did you get to rub shoulders with any of them Jonathan?

Mooching around the edges of conversations I'd suspect.

Sprayed on Dunlop polo, stretch chinos with the belt buckle almost horizontal under the gut.

Pint of Guinness with dinner having told the staff to "horse on the spuds".

JohnnyFlash · 28-08-2020 10:54pm

padd b1975 wrote: »

Mooching around the edges of conversations I'd suspect.

Sprayed on Dunlop polo, stretch chinos with the belt buckle almost horizontal under the gut.

Pint of Guinness with dinner having told the staff to "horse on the spuds".

Um, eh, that sounds nothing like me. :eek:

An Ri rua · 28-08-2020 11:19pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Um, eh, that sounds nothing like me. :eek:

I think, after a bout of therapy, not colonic hyaluronic either, your Eastern European opened a few profiles on Boards and 6000 posts later the trap is well sprung and beginning to close. The toilet seat is starting to fall. The toilet roll holder ain't holdin....

It's bad Johnny.

Like a bared arse on a Venus flytrap, he's comin for ya (it may be his thing, I don't know the chap (I swear) ).

Hector Savage · 31-08-2020 10:05am

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Cooked up a big feed this evening for myself and herself..
Garlic mushrooms to start.
Fired up some minute steaks and had them on a nice ciabata with onions, pepper sauce and more mushrooms.
Big load of home made chips and a side of salad with balsamic.

Had 3 cans of German pilsner before hand, I'm into the Guinness West Indies Porter now, 6 bottles in the fridge... Some cocktail in the gut for tomorrow.

Lucky bastard!!!!!

I cannot for the life of me get this in Spain .... unless I wanna pay €9 a bottle on amazon!!!

f*cking Norway prices there!!!

Hector Savage · 31-08-2020 10:08am

Deleted User wrote: »

And people have the gall to question how this thread is still going.

This thread will still be going strong when the Covid threads are closed due to inactivity ...

Hector Savage · 31-08-2020 10:11am

the purple tin wrote: »

How on earth has this thread got to 6000 posts?!
Has the world gone crazy?

People want some relief after all the doom and gloom over on Covid thread, all the lockdown larry's and bunker bernie's calling anyone who doesn't wear a hazmat suit going down to supervalu a granny killer .... on the other side then you have the virus denier's ... jaysus give me strength let's talk about sh1te ffs!!!

Brendan Bendar · 01-09-2020 9:17pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

People want some relief after all the doom and gloom over on Covid thread, all the lockdown larry's and bunker bernie's calling anyone who doesn't wear a hazmat suit going down to supervalu a granny killer .... on the other side then you have the virus denier's ... jaysus give me strength let's talk about sh1te ffs!!!

Instead of a thanks I just filled the pan with a cargo of ripe butthery scutther in your honour.

Left the muzzle like a holt of otters off a river bank.

Hope that’s acceptable.

An Ri rua · 02-09-2020 2:07am

I'm no expert but....

6000 posts down would take a lot of pile-drivers.

This thread has a CACAphony of pile-drivers all extruding rather than intruding.

There seems to be no boundary to the conversations, with no one hedging their bets or keepin it between the ditches. It's full-bull, both barrels, spent chambers all-round.

As the Dálaí Lama observed about starlings:- one post, one bird, one sh*te. Many posts, a few more birds, many many sh1tes.

Hector Savage · 02-09-2020 12:35pm

To the lads living in rural areas, what's the story with septic tanks ?
How often do they need to be emptied ?
I remember when I was a wee lad down in my cousins place in Westmeath, and my uncle was telling me the septic tank needed to be emptied every X years, I can't remember if that eas every 1,5 ... 10? years ?

You would think a septic tank would fill up quite quickly with the volume of a flush - especially back in the 1990s with those big armitage shanks.
Or does the water slowly seep out and is absorbed into the surrounding land ?

Another friend of mine has a place down in Wexford and he told me he got a load of beetles that love to feast on chite, the idea is they break that down and when they die they are broken down even easier ...

And if they do need to be emptied what do they do ? lash some hose down there and suck it up into a tanker ?
Jaysus ... nasty job ...

gerrybbadd · 02-09-2020 12:45pm

You've answered a lot of your own questions there HS.

The septic tank has a leech field radiating out of it, where water soaks into the ground. The solids left behind are broken down over time by bacterial action.

I don't know how often they need to be emptied. Some more often than others amongst posters here i'd bet

Hector Savage · 02-09-2020 12:49pm

^^ But is it damaging to the environment ? the water table etc ?

It's a hell of a lot better for sure than dumping it into the sea, savage amount of raw sewage dumping still in the world today

FintanMcluskey · 02-09-2020 12:52pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

To the lads living in rural areas, what's the story with septic tanks ?
How often do they need to be emptied ?
I remember when I was a wee lad down in my cousins place in Westmeath, and my uncle was telling me the septic tank needed to be emptied every X years, I can't remember if that eas every 1,5 ... 10? years ?

You would think a septic tank would fill up quite quickly with the volume of a flush - especially back in the 1990s with those big armitage shanks.
Or does the water slowly seep out and is absorbed into the surrounding land ?

Another friend of mine has a place down in Wexford and he told me he got a load of beetles that love to feast on chite, the idea is they break that down and when they die they are broken down even easier ...

And if they do need to be emptied what do they do ? lash some hose down there and suck it up into a tanker ?
Jaysus ... nasty job ...

Haha remember as a young lad spent a few Summer driving tractors. One of the tasks to be carried out was emptying the septic tanks of a few local houses.

On more than one occasion after maneuvering the rig into position, the next job was to lift of the concrete tank cover which was often a 2 man job, myself and the man of the house.

After removing the tank cover, I was often greeted by a swarm of floating condoms like bananas in bath, which were flushed down the toilet.

The awkward looks between myself and the man of the house were something I've never recovered from!:p

partyguinness · 02-09-2020 2:16pm

Just remember the next time you are horsing into some locally sourced vegetable produce that the farmer has probably emptied the contents of a few local septic tanks over the field as fertilisers. Makes one think twice.

JohnnyFlash · 02-09-2020 2:37pm

partyguinness wrote: »

Just remember the next time you are horsing into some locally sourced vegetable produce that the farmer has probably emptied the contents of a few local septic tanks over the field as fertilisers. Makes one think twice.

Many a plastic bag of unwanted kittens was fücked into septic tanks around the country over the years as well.

Hector Savage · 02-09-2020 2:43pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Many a plastic bag of unwanted kittens was fücked into septic tanks around the country over the years as well.

ah jaysus!!

fuerte1976 · 02-09-2020 2:47pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

ah jaysus!!

Yep.. He's right. Assists with the ol agitation and breaking up of the tank full of bolous.

partyguinness · 02-09-2020 2:54pm

Jaysus you can't be chucking plastic bags into a septic tank. It will block the pipes and never biodegrade.

NeinNeinNein · 02-09-2020 3:54pm

partyguinness wrote: »

Jaysus you can't be chucking plastic bags into a septic tank. It will block the pipes and never biodegrade.

In fairness, this post proves how successful Greta has been in her one child mission.

An Ri rua · 02-09-2020 7:05pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

^^ But is it damaging to the environment ? the water table etc ?

It's a hell of a lot better for sure than dumping it into the sea, savage amount of raw sewage dumping still in the world today

Are you putting it out there in the hope that posters will refrain from the natural cycle but instead save that timeout for a work jack's? Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's? Them cities takin our young folk and even poor souls by day... Well they might as well keep their sh1te in Dublin. If that sangwich weren't bought local, it's not goin in my septic tank...

Hear hear...

Ps this thread's gone factual in the last few posts. HS - ain't nobody got time for that! Don't over-think it, the body is listening and you'll get your guts all in a jitter. All well and dandy til ya rip your colon. Nothing worse than erratic pressure on a line. Just drop and go, leave the percolation to the lad in the planning department whose vocation septic tanks are.

JohnnyFlash · 02-09-2020 8:26pm

Had a massive, loose, and lively dump earlier, and has finished buffing up the sheriff's badge when I get a call from my solicitor. Pulled up the trousers,quick wash of the hands, then answered the call. Bad news, business insolvent, wind-up preferable, blah blah blah.

Was on the blower to the cúnt for a good hour (be cheaper ring a bored housewife on one of those sex lines), and then went out for the afternoon for 9 holes of golf. Came back in the door, and headed into the jacks for a piss. What had I forgot to do? Flush the fúcking toilet earlier. The arts degrees had sort of melted into the watery stools, and the entire thing looked like a bad tikka masala. Plenty of 'shelved product' on the walls as well that had hardened into a substance almost as hard as diamond. No amount of vigorous brushwork helped. Like it was superglued on. Ended up having to get the caustic soda involved.

Lost 4 Pro V1 golf balls as well in 9 holes, so a fúcking disaster of a day in general.

Lewis_Benson · 02-09-2020 9:15pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Had a massive, loose, and lively dump earlier, and has finished buffing up the sheriff's badge when I get a call from my solicitor. Pulled up the trousers,quick wash of the hands, then answered the call. Bad news, business insolvent, wind-up preferable, blah blah blah.

Was on the blower to the cúnt for a good hour (be cheaper ring a bored housewife on one of those sex lines), and then went out for the afternoon for 9 holes of golf. Came back in the door, and headed into the jacks for a piss. What had I forgot to do? Flush the fúcking toilet earlier. The arts degrees had sort of melted into the watery stools, and the entire thing looked like a bad tikka masala. Plenty of 'shelved product' on the walls as well that had hardened into a substance almost as hard as diamond. No amount of vigorous brushwork helped. Like it was superglued on. Ended up having to get the caustic soda involved.

Lost 4 Pro V1 golf balls as well in 9 holes, so a fúcking disaster of a day in general.

Sounds "shyte" man.

Brendan Bendar · 02-09-2020 9:45pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Had a massive, loose, and lively dump earlier, and has finished buffing up the sheriff's badge when I get a call from my solicitor. Pulled up the trousers,quick wash of the hands, then answered the call. Bad news, business insolvent, wind-up preferable, blah blah blah.

Was on the blower to the cúnt for a good hour (be cheaper ring a bored housewife on one of those sex lines), and then went out for the afternoon for 9 holes of golf. Came back in the door, and headed into the jacks for a piss. What had I forgot to do? Flush the fúcking toilet earlier. The arts degrees had sort of melted into the watery stools, and the entire thing looked like a bad tikka masala. Plenty of 'shelved product' on the walls as well that had hardened into a substance almost as hard as diamond. No amount of vigorous brushwork helped. Like it was superglued on. Ended up having to get the caustic soda involved.

Lost 4 Pro V1 golf balls as well in 9 holes, so a fúcking disaster of a day in general.

Four Pro V1s. !

That was a bad day John.

Hope they weren’t fresh out of the packet.

hurikane · 02-09-2020 9:51pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Had a massive, loose, and lively dump earlier, and has finished buffing up the sheriff's badge when I get a call from my solicitor. Pulled up the trousers,quick wash of the hands, then answered the call. Bad news, business insolvent, wind-up preferable, blah blah blah.

Was on the blower to the cúnt for a good hour (be cheaper ring a bored housewife on one of those sex lines), and then went out for the afternoon for 9 holes of golf. Came back in the door, and headed into the jacks for a piss. What had I forgot to do? Flush the fúcking toilet earlier. The arts degrees had sort of melted into the watery stools, and the entire thing looked like a bad tikka masala. Plenty of 'shelved product' on the walls as well that had hardened into a substance almost as hard as diamond. No amount of vigorous brushwork helped. Like it was superglued on. Ended up having to get the caustic soda involved.

Lost 4 Pro V1 golf balls as well in 9 holes, so a fúcking disaster of a day in general.

Hopefully the colleague/ employee referred to in the op, had a ****e after you and didn’t flush, and you’ve spent the evening cleaning his ****e.

fuerte1976 · 02-09-2020 10:43pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Had a massive, loose, and lively dump earlier, and has finished buffing up the sheriff's badge when I get a call from my solicitor. Pulled up the trousers,quick wash of the hands, then answered the call. Bad news, business insolvent, wind-up preferable, blah blah blah.

Was on the blower to the cúnt for a good hour (be cheaper ring a bored housewife on one of those sex lines), and then went out for the afternoon for 9 holes of golf. Came back in the door, and headed into the jacks for a piss. What had I forgot to do? Flush the fúcking toilet earlier. The arts degrees had sort of melted into the watery stools, and the entire thing looked like a bad tikka masala. Plenty of 'shelved product' on the walls as well that had hardened into a substance almost as hard as diamond. No amount of vigorous brushwork helped. Like it was superglued on. Ended up having to get the caustic soda involved.

Lost 4 Pro V1 golf balls as well in 9 holes, so a fúcking disaster of a day in general.

Oh Jaysus Flash, thats bad news all round dude..

Does this mean we've to 'wind up' this thread too?
Coz I've a beast festering in the oven..

mfceiling · 02-09-2020 11:12pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Had a massive, loose, and lively dump earlier, and has finished buffing up the sheriff's badge when I get a call from my solicitor. Pulled up the trousers,quick wash of the hands, then answered the call. Bad news, business insolvent, wind-up preferable, blah blah blah.

Was on the blower to the cúnt for a good hour (be cheaper ring a bored housewife on one of those sex lines), and then went out for the afternoon for 9 holes of golf. Came back in the door, and headed into the jacks for a piss. What had I forgot to do? Flush the fúcking toilet earlier. The arts degrees had sort of melted into the watery stools, and the entire thing looked like a bad tikka masala. Plenty of 'shelved product' on the walls as well that had hardened into a substance almost as hard as diamond. No amount of vigorous brushwork helped. Like it was superglued on. Ended up having to get the caustic soda involved.

Lost 4 Pro V1 golf balls as well in 9 holes, so a fúcking disaster of a day in general.

Sorry for your troubles Johnny.

JohnnyFlash · 03-09-2020 12:11am

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Four Pro V1s. !

That was a bad day John.

Hope they weren’t fresh out of the packet.

No, had used them a few times. Still a cúnt to lose that many though. Started using the Seed SD-01 recently anyway. A fúcking golf ball sized wrap of Satan's snuff would be cheaper than a Pro V1.

fuerte1976 wrote: »

Oh Jaysus Flash, thats bad news all round dude..

Does this mean we've to 'wind up' this thread too?
Coz I've a beast festering in the oven..

No need to worry, dude. Keep talking about this most pressing and important of topics. If it has educated even one person then we are providing an important and valuable service. Huge amount of 'bound up' posters on this site who just need to pop in here, admit they have a problem, and talk about their issues. This too shall pass and all that.

Don't be worrying about my business either - I have plenty of money. 3rd time I've had to wrap up a business in my life. Recessions are like that. I'm very lucky. I just don't want to be sitting around scratching my hole for the next few years (Eucerin - miracle stuff for that btw) when I had aimed to be importing in Chinese catering equipment and selling it at huge margins to every deli and 'pint and a pizza for a tenner' pub in the country.

I had to fire the employee who was the subject of my ire in the opening post btw. Not because he breached a foundational rule of shítter etiquette, but because I've no work for the lad. Lithuanians are resourceful enough though. Even though growing up in Soviet era housing leaves them with very little idea about the proper use of communal toilets.

Hector Savage · 03-09-2020 2:03pm

Good man Johnny, shouldn't be doing business with those Chinese ****ers anyway, they caused this mess we are all in.

I'm sure you could get a job selling designer toilets - big market there.

03-09-2020 3:31pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

Good man Johnny, shouldn't be doing business with those Chinese ****ers anyway, they caused this mess we are all in.

I'm sure you could get a job selling designer toilets - big market there.

Importing those high tech Japanese Toto toilets could be a good earner. There would be plenty of interest from this thread.

gerrybbadd · 03-09-2020 3:53pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Importing those high tech Japanese Toto toilets could be a good earner. There would be plenty of interest from this thread.

I'd buy one

What's the etiquette here??

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