Things you'd like to say to them

notsoyoungwan · 15-06-2020 07:59PM

orionm_73 wrote: »

This is heartbreaking to read, not least because it sounds not unlike my own situation. I’m sorry for your loss, before and after. Mind yourself.

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you are coping well.

hedzball · 17-06-2020 05:06PM

Ever since she died I have lied to everyone about my true feelings.

Suppressed my mind actions and true beliefs.. probably not felt love since.

That i've hurt a lot of people beyond recognition and lost a lot of friends.

That it took a huge base of lies to get exposed for me to change my ways and I am determined to
do so. That I ended up on the same kind of pills that killed you off. I made myself sick and put my head in a worse place than its ever been.

That I'm very alone now. I am ok alone. I deserve it tbh. That sometimes it takes ten wrong years to get to the one where we turn everything around. That I will continue to fight despite the tears streaming down my face.

That I will rebuild honestly and truthfully for me and for others around me. I want a partner I can truly love
and to bring a family into this world and love them too..

That I have made my mistakes and as much as I wish for a break I cant seem to get one.

Purgative · 21-06-2020 02:15PM

Happy Father's Day. I know you thought it a load of coddology and well so did I but ....

I'll probably watch this Happy Breed later or maybe Battle of the River Plate, just to ya know.

Love ya.

Deja Boo · 23-06-2020 09:56AM

My dear cousins, how far removed by relations, distance and time, I cannot say... But your heartfelt writings fill my soul. How strong you were and unshakable in faith... To pour your heart out so poetically, after such deep losses, you bore so graciously. If only, had I even one percent of your faith, in this day and age.

Gregor Samsa · 25-06-2020 11:42AM

Dad, you died nearly 2 months ago. But today was the first time I could actually cry.

I'm so sorry that the last time I saw you, I was decked out like a bloody surgeon in PPE. I doubt you even recognised me, you probably thought I was one of the staff. I held your hand for a minute, wearing gloves, but I couldn't hug you, kiss your forehead. Couldn't say the proper goodbye we both deserved. And then the nurse said that the longer we stayed, the higher the risk. I stayed as long as I could. But then I left you alone, and I didn't go back. I couldn't. I'm sorry.

I thought you'd be safe in there. Looked after. Protected. I never thought it would end like it did.

We found some of the notes you wrote last year. How you were so scared about your mind going, how you jotted down your name and address and our names and dates of birth to remind yourself. And how the dates were all wrong.

You were a great Dad, and we got even closer over the past 11 years since Mum died. The girls miss you so much. I miss you so much.

You didn't deserve the last 18 months. You didn't deserve to lose your independence. You didn't deserve to die alone. You didn't deserve a 15 minute funeral with only 8 people. You didn't deserve to be a statistic, one of the numbers that keeps getting mentioned in the news.

I know I'll never see you again, and we all just have to move on without you now. But I am who I am because of you, and I'm so thankful for all you gave me. I love you, and I'll never forget you.

Deja Boo · 05-07-2020 08:34PM

Oh my dear young one, troubled no more with the suffering!
Hope you're well in heaven and plane spotting from the heights!
Thinking of you near your birthday...... as we so often do, down here.

bolgbui41 · 06-07-2020 07:14PM

9 years today since the last time I saw you; 8 years and 362 days since you died. I don’t think I realised at the time how young you were, or that you’d been sick basically as long as I knew you. All I knew is that you’d spent all your life loving me; babysitting me when I was small (the teddy bears picnics that no one else would have with me!), trying to teach me how to get my hair under control, being totally fine when I’d wander into your house with all you children/nieces and nephews/strays off the street. I miss you and it’s hurting my chest a bit today, but I’m trying to do fun things this week and not dwell cause I know you’d hate that - myself and your son will be having a dinner for you Friday with all your favourite food. Love you

Mam of 4 · 11-07-2020 10:12AM

Hard to believe it's a year since you became ill so suddenly and within a few hours all hope had gone . There's never a good age to die but you were too young , watch over your family G , you were and still are , loved by everyone who knew you x .

sadie1502 · 19-07-2020 03:56PM

Love you mam. Hope you like the solar lights know you love colour changing lights. Also D gave up two lovely pots with flowers. Lovely colors hope you like them. Xxx miss you always love you always xxxxx

bobbyss · 25-07-2020 11:17AM

Deep and deep regrets that I never appreciated your goodness. I never told you about how good a person you were to me and family. How ashamed I am at that.

Cal04 · 25-07-2020 11:30AM

That I can just imagine you walking in the door right now..I can just see it..always had a half day on a Saturday. For a while, I thought I was forgetting you walking in, but it's very clear today.

MeMen2_MoRi_ · 31-07-2020 12:39AM

I’m fallin’ down without you, Talkin’ to you often even though you’re in a coffin.

RIP Mum. My heart is breaking for you, I don't understand things, I don't think I ever will, please just know I've had so much love for you, I wish I had just one more of your hugs before you went x

ninebeanrows · 05-08-2020 04:22AM

Waking up and realising it's not just a nightmare

They are actually gone forever

Sardonicat · 24-09-2020 11:57AM

I have not forgotten you. I never will. I promise ×

sadie1502 · 28-09-2020 10:27AM

Hope you like the new flowers. Love you xxx

Mam of 4 · 28-09-2020 11:05AM

Two years today Da, hope you and Mam are smiling down on us all x

Mam of 4 · 11-10-2020 10:52AM

Always and forever in our hearts Son x

Sardonicat · 12-10-2020 11:30PM

You're feeling close. The time of year, I suppose. I will forever associate Autumn with you.

Sardonicat · 11-11-2020 09:04PM

If you're around and amenable I really feckin need you now!

Mam of 4 · 13-11-2020 12:45PM

The years are rolling past Mam , you're forever in our hearts and minds and eternally loved x

Purgative · 17-11-2020 01:37PM

The truck needs quite a bit of work to it, for the DOE.

I know what you'd say. But you drove it a couple of times, all those years ago. R checked it over just after we got it. B loved riding in it for the view over the hedges. You couldn't keep Brew out of it. Once he got in, he wouldn't get out again until you went somewhere dog-interesting.

We'll keep it a little while yet.:)

sadie1502 · 24-11-2020 06:55AM

Two years today mam. Not a day goes by without thinking of you. Love you Miss you xxxx

Sardonicat · 02-12-2020 09:51PM

I sense your presence, for the first time in a long time. Soft and slight as a butterfly's wings there is a movement in my heart right now that I know is you. You are always welcome there. If I could hold you there forever, I would. Stay a while and I'll lie quiet and still with you. I wish I could curl up in your heart for eternity. ×

02-12-2020 10:20PM

Sardonicat wrote: »

I sense your presence, for the first time in a long time. Soft and slight as a butterfly's wings there is a movement in my heart right now that I know is you. You are always welcome there. If I could hold you there forever, I would. Stay a while and I'll lie quiet and still with you. I wish I could curl up in your heart for eternity. ×

Beautiful. X

Sardonicat · 02-12-2020 10:28PM

Candie wrote: »

Beautiful. X

He was. Truly.

02-12-2020 10:30PM

Sardonicat wrote: »

He was. Truly.

Then that post was a very fitting tribute, Sardi. I know that feeling, you articulated it better than I ever could. I hope your heart stays light and full.

Gremlinertia · 03-12-2020 06:01AM

First birthday since you left.. Miss you man, keep an eye on your kids, we'll mind everything else..

Gremlinertia · 07-12-2020 04:22AM

Ten years since you two suddenly left, two different nights, one after the other. All the talk of being in a better place and being at peace rings hollow when it's a suicide. There'll always be an ache in my heart when i think of you two but maybe it's edged with fond memories these days

Wanderer78 · 07-12-2020 06:23AM

I miss you and I love you

Jessie1965 · 07-12-2020 08:05PM

I'd like to say I am really sorry, but you never liked me saying sorry.
I'm stuck without you. Can't "move on".
I'd love if I had a hubby to turn to. I haven't.
Mum, please intervene strongly from where you are so that I could have a husband to love me.
It's what I really need.
I told you I loved you every time I spoke on the phone to you, when I knew you were dying.
I wanted you to feel better. You never complained. I am sorry I didn't bring you in that big mirror you asked for. I thought it was too big to bring in to the nursing home. I wonder were you testing me and did I fail the test?
Its so long ago, a year, a painful year of loneliness and pointlessness. I was hoping you would come back for me and I prayed to die.
I have changed and now believe I have to get on with my life and try and make it liveable myself.

Things you'd like to say to them

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