Things you'd like to say to them

Sardonicat

The last time I saw you, you were carrying your baby daughter in your arms. You were glowing with pride. Now she would be around the age we were back then.

I found out today that you died some months ago. I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope your passing was gentle and you reached your journey's end with ease.

On my landing window sill sits the clay hedgehog moneybox you got me for Christmas the year we did Christmas Day 9 days early. That was one of the best Christmas Days of my life. In fact, it was the best Christmas I've had as an adult, if you could accurately describe us as adults back then. So long ago.

You got the hedgehog at the Christmas market we all drove to on a dull, dark, Yorkshire December day. A brass band was playing (it was in Yorkshire, after all ). Suddenly, the tempo of the music changed to something lively and without a word we exchanged a cheeky glance, clasped hands and started jiving. We giggled uncontrollably and lost ourselves completely in the moment. I can still see your face beaming back at me.

It's a beautiful memory ; two barely 20 year old girls laughing and dancing surrounded by fairy lights. I know little to nothing of your life for the past 23 years. I only knew you as a very young woman. When I think of you I will think of that beautiful, laughing, dancing girl. Thank you for that precious jewel of a moment. And the hedgehog.

Rest in Peace Ruth xx

Professor Moriarty

I have nothing to say to you. You already know what I think. I just want to hear you talking to me one more time.

4Ad

Hi Mum, 4 years today..I cant believe time has gone so fast..
Hope you can see your grave with all the lovely flowers, especially purple ones, your favoirite colour !
Miss you loads.
Xxxxx

bolgbui41

I passed my viva. I think you probably already know that, but saying it as many ways as possible is the only way I can cope with not being able to see you when I'm telling you. You got me into this subject and you were the only one I could talk to about it at home. I never, ever contemplated when I started the PhD four years ago that you wouldn't be the first phone call I made, or that you wouldn't be front and centre in the audience when I graduated. But I did always know that the thesis be dedicated to you. Everyone keeps telling me how proud you'd be of me, but sure I already know that - in your own indirect way, you always made certain I knew. I'm so happy now, but I still miss you so much.

dok_golf

To my oul man - One year since I held your hand the way you used to hold mine. Not one tear have I shed for you since we closed the coffin. Nothing until 2 days ago. To be honest I wanted you to die long before you did. I didn't know what you had become, my oul man was gone long before you died. I didn't expect things to hit me after a year. You would think with all the ****e that has happened, I would have got used to death at this stage.Strange, cos now I would love to be that little boy so you could hold my hand again. Love you Dad XXxxx

Rosie Rant

Come back

redshoes15

He’s in hospital again. Said he was fine but we went down anyway. He’s not fine. He looked so much like you when I walked into the room. If you have an ounce of power to do so, please help him. You could raise a small army, gather them all. He needs you. Be the father to him now you couldn’t be when you were here. I know you have it in you and in my heart and soul I believe you are with him. We miss you, we love you and we need you.

Baybay

Been a bit of a dark few days. Getting harder to be positive about much of anything. Any time at all you’re ready to help, just do.

Saysay19

Maggie May

It’s been 9 years, how fast the time has gone. T and S are just flying up.they are gas.

I got married, can you believe it. Your presence was felt there on the day, and I left the bouquet on your grave. I could also hear ya giving out to me, haha.
Nan I’ve had a **** few months. I can’t seem to get over it. The change in work is distracting me but that has its own stresses. I cry late at night alone because M has enough going on, and what child needs to see their mother crying.

Remember when I was younger and I used to climb into your bed when I was scared, well that’s what I need now. I know it’s been 9 years but I still miss you as much xx

Clytus

Its only 3 weeks since you left us mam and I miss you so so much! I miss calling you every day, I miss our chats about this and that, I miss telling you about all the new things I'm working on. I miss you telling about all the new stuff I should be working on!!.. I miss getting the shopping lists, I miss telling you all about your grand sons antics and your first grand daughter. She was the apple of your eye! We all miss you so much! It hurts so much to think I cant just pick up the phone and speak to you!! You are my mam..and its so hard to accept your not with me anymore!! If I could have you back for just a day!!

TheFortField

“When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of a storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone”.

Ronan, you never managed to convert me, despite your enthusiastic efforts. I miss you and your mischievous loveable ways xxx I was in our old school recently, our graffiti is long gone but I carry the memories of the devilment we shared. Rest In Peace xxxx

4Ad

I miss you Mum, like I do everyday..
Dads ok Thank God, and so are the rest of the family !
Another year on Thank God !

LegacyUser

Miss you Dad.
Miss the old days where we used to ring in the New Years together. We’re all doing ok. You’re grandsons are all well and good. You’d love them at the age they are at now.Youd love our house, and all the fun and mayhem.
It’s been almost 2 years, and I wonder if life will ever feel ‘normal’ again. So much has changed, you’d barely recognize the place. Hope you’re watching on from somewhere.

redshoes15

He’s recovered and is almost back to full strength. Thank you. Christmas was wonderful, best I’ve had for a long time without you. Then New Years came and you were all I could think of. New Years Eve always gets me. Another year gone where you weren’t here, another one coming where you won’t be. I didn’t pour you a drink like I always did but I raised a toast and thought of you watching the fireworks. I know you know what happened with C. Look after the little one now with you. I know you will. We miss you & we love you.

Paranoid Bob

Is still regret not lot looking after you at home Mum. I hope you can forgive me.

I love you.
I miss you.

Sardonicat

I woke up this morning with a sense of you. I dreamt of you again but have no recollection of the dream. I'm left with the traces of your ghost instead.In dreams I see your face clearly but now I can't bring it to mind , just a faint impression. And now those feelings of loss and and unfulfilled longing are just beneath the serface and colouring my day. I'm going to have to bury them deep or I'll go under again. Because I've never come to terms with your death. I had to make the conscious decision to close off the grief or just die myself. The pain is still within me, it's a part of me now and has changed who I am. It will never go away. I will mourn you til my time comes. I will think of you every day. I have had to accept that so I could carry on living.

I would give anything to see your face again and make things right between us, my friend.

aodomhnaill

I don't know why I could never tell the person I most admired, most respected, most envied and most wanted to become just how much I loved them. I love you so much and miss you in equal measure. Grá mór i gcónaí Dad. Oíche mhaith agus codladh sámh.

LegacyUser

Reading all these comments breaks my heart. I am lucky my parents are still alive. But I regret so much not being a better son. I am doing my best to make it up to them now. I regret so much of what I have said and done, I have been a fool, but I am lucky to still have time with them. I am going home this weekend and will tell them that I love them.

sadie1502

Mossy141282 wrote: »

Reading all these comments breaks my heart. I am lucky my parents are still alive. But I regret so much not being a better son. I am doing my best to make it up to them now. I regret so much of what I have said and done, I have been a fool, but I am lucky to still have time with them. I am going home this weekend and will tell them that I love them.

I lost my mother in November suddenly and the guilt eats me up that I wasn't a better daughter.
Enjoy and love them whilst you have them both.

Galwayguy35

Happy Mothers Day mam

4Ad

Still miss you loads Mum...
Brought you a nice flower earlier,in your favourite colour too..
Bye

Goldenlady

Miss you more every day. I hate that you won't ever get to see my son or see me as a parent but if i can be half as good as you were my son will have a fantastic life. Til we meet again for a catch up & set the world to right, i love you x

SaltSweatSugar

I lost my mother to suicide a number of years ago and in the past few months I’ve finally started attending counselling to try and deal with the unresolved deep rooted grief I have over it. In one of our sessions my counsellor asked me to think about what I would say to her. Here goes.

I miss you. I know you did your best, and you couldn’t fight anymore. I’m sorry I didn’t do more for you, and really, really wish I had been a better daughter. I feel like I let you down when you needed me most, and I’m so ashamed of myself for it. I was selfish. I handled things so incredibly badly, and I’m so, so sorry. You weren’t a burden on me. You were the most amazing mother I could have asked for, and you sacrificed so much for us. You always made me feel so loved, and so safe. I hope that one day I will be half as good a mother as you were. I loved you. I’m sorry that we fought that night. Im sorry I went to bed angry at you. I wish that I hugged you the next day before I left to go back to Carrick. And Im so, so sorry that I didn’t tell you I loved you that night on the phone. That’s one of my biggest regrets. I was so angry at you for so long for what you did, as I felt like you abandoned me. I felt like you didn’t love me enough to live. To fight for yourself. I miss you. I wish you were still here. I wish you could have seen that there was life after dad. That you had so much going for you. I would give anything in the world to have you here. I need you.

How much do I love you? All the world and more.

M

Baybay

Your sister is on her way & cannot wait to see you again. She’s living her end of life scenario with dignity & grace. I know you would have hated to be what you would consider a burden & that you went so quickly is possibly the only consolation I find in your passing. I wish you were here as for once I can’t hear your advice. Your sister no longer wants me to ring, write or visit & while I’m respecting her wishes as I know she too feels it’d be less of a burden, I don’t know what to do. You were always two prickly characters who understood each other perfectly. I could do with a little of that understanding now.

Saysay19

S,
I still can’t believe it. No one can. You were such a loved person, always there to lend a hand. You welcomed me into the family and treated me as one of your own. I’m thinking back over the years and there was not one celebration we had that you were not there.
We all are heartbroken but you fought with dignity and grace til the end.
Xx


M

It’s the beginning, please watch over us again x

ILoveYourVibes

I can't believe it.

sadie1502

Happy birthday mam. I miss you so much. We all do. You loved your birthday. Love you.

ILoveYourVibes

Why didn't you just hang on???

Sardonicat

You're on my mind these past few days. I wish we could hang out. I miss your laugh.

Cal04

I'd ask him why
Why leave it with a million why's
Why leave me to rear our daughter's alone
Why leave us when he was so full of life
Why always bury his head in the sand
Why not face the consequences
Why why why
Suicide is never the answer