Reberetta's Walrus Reveal AKA Reberrus!

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 6:06pm

Also Starring LeVar Burton wrote: »

Ugh, don't call me Mr. please, makes me feel physically ill.

May I address you as Sir or Lord?

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 6:11pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song before: Yes, but I didn't remember it.

A plaintive plain song, a simple yet iconic anthem; this is a cover of a classic traditional Scottish number. The "parting glass" was the final hospitality offered to a departing guest. This has been around since at least 1605. Apparently, the lyricist is unknown.

His voice has no standout quality. Why is he so popular? I haven't paid much attention to Ed Sheeran and his acclaimed music, but I did listen to this album once and never again. An uninspired, insipid cover, but it is a splendid, hymnal staple.

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Piss into a glass and offer it to the priest.

Score: 6/10

10th place:

$hifty

Also Starring LeVar Burton · 28-03-2020 6:13pm

Reberetta wrote: »

May I address you as Sir or Lord?

Sir is just as bad as Mr.

Lord is more acceptable, but definitely not crazy about it.

Professor (Prof) or Captain (Cap'n) or something similarly gender neutral would be much more preferable if you wish to use honorifics.

Never mind me though, I'm just having a day.

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 6:22pm

No problemo ASLB.

Have I heard of this artist: No
Have I heard this song before: No. Just kidding.

This surpasses Ed Sheeran's rendition. Superior singers, soulfully and sonically in sync, carolling a pleasing surround salutation. Dainty ditty produced with minimal effort. Sometimes less is more. Noble. Funny fact: the way they emphasise "I" recalls James Hetfield's style to my mind. Presumably they're Irish?

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Inform the smoking hot widow that Ed Sheeran also covered this song in order to impress her with musical knowledge ( if she ignores me, offer her the glass intended for the priest).

Score: 6.5/10

9th Place:

tusk

Also Starring LeVar Burton · 28-03-2020 6:26pm

Wonders how many versions of The Parting Glass have been submitted... I had considered submitting yet another version of it myself actually.

Electric Nitwit · 28-03-2020 6:28pm

Also Starring LeVar Burton wrote: »

Wonders how many versions of The Parting Glass have been submitted... I had considered submitting yet another version of it myself actually.

And Hozier did it on the Late Late last night I think

Still no sign of my song, that's (hopefully) good

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 6:32pm

Brad Paisley Ft. Dolly Parton When I Get Where I'm Going

Have I heard of this artist: No and yes
Have I heard this song before: No

Have I turned on Downtown Radio? No, it's Brad Paisley, Bill Paisley's less successful brother. He sucks, but thankfully Dolly Parton is here to save it with her gargantuan mammary glands fine lilting intonations of beauty. It's not a genre I go for a great deal, but this has a serviceable, hooky chorus and doesn't outstay its welcome. It has the traditional twang. It's not doleful, but rather buoyant with a minuscule bounce. The bridge however, is anaemic.

The line "Then I'll hug his neck" sounds stupid. And how can you get where you're going? Is he cleverly saying he is never settled or is he just a dumb redneck cowboy from Texas? My money's on the latter, taking this couplet into consideration:

"I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane"

The video is slush too, but I grew to like this hillybilly schmuck.

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Sing "Like A Rhinestone Cowboy!"

Score: 7/10

8th place:

Spook ie

Necro · 28-03-2020 6:39pm

Oh I like that one Spook. I'm unashamedly a fan of country though

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 6:41pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song before: No

Begins with what I presume is repeating programmed notes on keyboard and the distinct intoning of whatshername, then there's some sounds like synth and drumstick rattling, the drumbeat then changes in the next verse, eventually getting heavier and more prominent, then Karen O starts singing 'O'; hilarious irony! I chuckled!

It concludes with a droning, ethereal fade... so there's a lot going on, and yet I'm left feeling that nothing has really happened. I've just been drenched in instruments. Kudos for some sterling drum-work drummer whose name I do not know. You saved this for me.

The video is stylish and artistic and I like it more than the music. The track is good-but good like warm, weak soup is good at a homeless shelter.

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Start drumming on the coffin with a couple of large branches I broke off the cemetery trees- much to the chagrin of the dead woman's kids.

Score: 7/10

7th Place:

Deleted User

fixXxer · 28-03-2020 6:48pm

Oooh good to see the Yeah Yeah Yeah

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 6:49pm

The Sabres Of Paradise Smokebelch ||: Beatless Mix

Have I heard of this artist: No
Have I heard this song before: No

"My funeral is going to be a rave. I insist on dance music being played and regularly and one of the conditions is that I cant be buried until we find a priest who's willing to go along with it.This is just a beautiful dreamy tune that i think would be ideal for people to receive Communion to."

-Submitter

Smashing appellation for this group.

The intro is reminiscent of Radiohead. I'm immediately thinking of No Surprises and Let Down. There's some cherubic choral harmonies and we settle into a celestial vibe. Presumably this is mostly keyboard effects. I can tell right away there's going to be no lyrical musing so no deep profoundity on mortality will be imparted.

The song drifts effortlessly on in the same floaty, atmospheric vein until the end, as though a weary soul is being airlifted to the pearly gates of heaven by accommodating guardian angels. Soothing.

This is a bit like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs without Karen O. Nice.

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Look up to the clouds and contemplate the meaning of it all...but only if it wasn't pissing hailstones; I'm not having my eye out for these forgettable knob fiddlers.

Score: 7/10

6th place:

Rikand

tusk · 28-03-2020 6:55pm

Reberetta wrote: »

Billy Boyd The Last Goodbye

Have I heard of this artist: No
Have I heard this song before: No

Billy Boyd is a Scottish thespian whose acting career has not come to my notice.

Subdued strings with a gentle strumming guitar throughout and elegiac musings with a choral accompaniment delivered in a heroic, lofty style. I've never seen The Hobbit, but I can envision someone being filmed singing this on the bow of a pirate ship by panning cameras high above. This is a song for a cinematic hero, not a hobbit. Not bad.

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Jump onto the coffin and perform a singalong with grandiose gestures.

Score: 6/10

11th place:
Pretzill

Choon

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 7:01pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song before: No

Even without Freddie on lead vocals, Queen are still highfalutin fellows. This time, only the good die young; patently untrue as Bonnie and Clyde were in their twenties-but I'll let that fly as this is a tribute to the late, great frontman.

This is like something a boyband might cover in the hopes of scoring a number one. It's not anywhere near being one of Queen's best anthems in my opinion and the verses echo Elton John at his nostalgic best/worst. I prefer Roger T.'s cadence to Brian May's inflection. I like the image in the video of Freddie with bananas on his head. What was all that about?

If I were to choose Queen for this category, I would have gone for Another One Bites The Dust, but this is a worthy submission.

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Sing Fat-Bottomed Girls in protest.

Score: 7/10

5th place:

lassykk

28-03-2020 7:01pm

Ok, I'm happy enough with 7th for this round - if I'd read Reberetta's review before seeing the score I'd have thought I'd done much worse!

This was probably the toughest one to pick, I find it difficult to pick out music specific to occasions; a previous Walrus (G&R's?) had a wedding song and I didn't have a clue what to go for. Think I might have eventually come last or thereabouts for that round as a result.

I'm still none the wiser as to what I actually want played at my wedding/funeral - the former isn't likely to happen for a long time (if ever) and for the latter I'll be dead so won't really care! :pac:

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 7:13pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song before: No.

Bon Jovi have an unfair reputation as a woman's naff rock band but they've written some classics and I respect them.

This isn't a legendary tune, but it's above average with the customary fervent chorus. As always, the vocal delivery is strong, but the guitar solo is like a limp-wristed slap from Alan Carr. I struggle to believe in the sincerity of the lyrics. I can't picture him crying and crying. If I were to choose Bon Jovi for this category, I'd have gone for the fittingly titled I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.

This ain't a love song? It ain't a particularly good song either, Jonny. Play Dry County instead.

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Be happy-but only if it was Jon Bon Jovi in the coffin.

Score: 7.5/10

4th place:

Gru

Necro · 28-03-2020 7:15pm

I genuinely can't remember my entries for this and seem to have deleted the PM.

Makes it more exciting!!

fixXxer · 28-03-2020 7:18pm

Reberetta wrote: »

Bon Jovi have an unfair reputation

Ooooh you were doing so well :-/

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 7:18pm

Have I heard of this artist: No
Have I heard this song before: No

This is a welcome diversion and change-up from all the melancholic, glum submissions that all the miserable bastards have shovelled into my ears! :P

First of all: no idea what's going on in the video: is it Supermarket Sweep on acid? Asian pop is fun and this is no exception. The verse hook brings back memories of Friday by Rebecca Black for some reason, but I'm not complaining.

Cracking chorus that latches like a lovable leech and never let's go. I love Asian-language vocalizations by female Asian melodists. Weird ending; sounds like the record gets stuck and comes to a shuddering halt, but I expect nothing less from crazy Japanese record producers! What's Japanese for awesome?

What I would do if this was played at my funeral: Jump out of the coffin and start a conga.

Score: 8.5/10

3rd place:

FixXxer

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 7:26pm

So it's down to the business end. Four left to reveal in order following:

14th
2nd
15th and last
First and winner

Electric Nitwit · 28-03-2020 7:29pm

Well this is nervy

If I've come miles behind Ed Sheeran doing a cover I will have a fecking meltdown!

fixXxer · 28-03-2020 7:30pm

THIRD IS THE NEW FIRST.

Necro · 28-03-2020 7:36pm

Electric Nitwit wrote: »

Well this is nervy

If I've come miles behind Ed Sheeran doing a cover I will have a fecking meltdown!

I don't know if I entered Ed Sheeran or not :pac:

I mean most likely not but I can't remember

Rikand · 28-03-2020 7:36pm

Glad you liked my song!

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 7:36pm

Have I heard of this artist: No
Have I heard this song before: No

Just when you thought things couldn't get more bleak: lumbering and lugubrious folk, this a message of hope delivered in a style that would drive you to suicide. I think there's a cello chiming which sounds like accordion. I'll call it a cello-accordion, my new invention.

I can envision listening to this on a bus in rainy rural America as rows of cornfields drift by outside. If I were a poor man who'd been wrongly convicted and sentenced to death row, I would possibly weep with the chords of this canticle. But I'm not poor and I'm not on death row (yet). And the only sentence I've received was self-inflicted: I decided to support Newcastle United at the age of twelve.

He has poured his soul into this unquestionably, but I'd like to shove my sole up his arse. A long mass.

And points deducted because he's probably a Liverpool fan.

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Fall asleep, headfirst into the widow's bosom, much to the chagrin of others present.

Score: 3/10

14th place:

phatkev

Necro · 28-03-2020 7:38pm

I am really enjoying these reviews, I must say

Trigger · 28-03-2020 7:39pm

Reberetta wrote: »

And points deducted because he's probably a Liverpool fan.

My type of penalty

Electric Nitwit · 28-03-2020 7:42pm

Trigger wrote: »

My type of penalty

Don't worry, if he's a Liverpool fan he had loads of points to start with

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 7:45pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song before: No

Bad news first: their moniker undermines the seriousness of their artistic endeavours. Sounds like a video game? Now good news:

A sublime melody, a mite emo, it begins with poignant profundity and quiet introspection; a snowfall of acoustics with a keyboard (?) droning quietly in the backdrop. Midway through, it changes tack and transitions seamlessly and artfully into a crescendo of charged hopeful passion; the guitars crunch, the drummer wakes from his slumber and the charming chorister chorals "Home could be anywhere when I am holding you"(thanks google) which is a nice denouement to the song and life itself. Visceral.

I might request this to be played at my funeral! Pity no one will be there to hear it. This was never released as a single? Seems like an oversight. Very, very good.

What I would do if this was played at my funeral: Happily rise from the dead and call George Romero asking for a part in his latest zany zombie adventure! (Literally just googled him to check if I got the name right-aaaaannnd he's dead).

Score: 9.5/10

2nd place:

Electric Nitwit

Electric Nitwit · 28-03-2020 7:48pm

Whoo-hoo! Love, love, love Enter Shikari

Word of warning though - don't expect more like this if you listen to the rest of their catalogue

Necro · 28-03-2020 7:52pm

Customary last place incoming...

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 7:53pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song before: No

"Ok, this is a Lonestar cover, but imo Shane Filan's voice is just more suited to this song. I'm aware I'm likely to finish bottom with this."

-Submitter

Prophetic words, my friend, prophetic words. Melodramatic, sappy ballad by a desperately dreary boy band who make an all-night Backstreet Boys rockathon seem like a good idea? No. Just no.

This is powder-puff rather than powerful stuff; vapid drivel and background noise. I dislike the second vocalist who comes in on verse two...or is it the same guy, just dorkier? And where is 'there'? Hopefully a muzzle factory. The fact a grown man entered this song makes me worry for the future of our country. Can you imagine Michael Collins listening to this crap? Still enjoying my reviews submitter? You spoke too soon sunshine.

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Jump into the coffin with the corpse, close the lid, and scream "Just bury me! For the love of Christ what are you waiting for!"

Score: 0.5/10

Last place:

Necro

Necro · 28-03-2020 7:55pm

Knew it!!

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 8:00pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song before: Yes

This is not a national anthem? It should be; it would help France win a rugby World Cup. It's grand, operatic, swinging, yet fugacious, so it's little bird's dulcet tones don't grow tiresome in the midst of the brass band's boisterous parade. I'm informed it spent seven weeks or so at the top of French charts.

The french language, along with the Italian dialects, is the most pleasing to the audio receptors. Edith Piaf was a corking chanteuse and would have scored highly in category two of this Walrus. Timeless and tuneful, c'est fantastique!

What I would do if this was played at a funeral: Stand tall and be proud of everything I have ever done. Except that one time I called Thierry Henry a cheating French bastard.

Score: 10/10

First place and winner of category:

ShaneU

Electric Nitwit · 28-03-2020 8:03pm

Good work Reb!
Few in there I'm looking forward to catching up with later

Trigger · 28-03-2020 8:07pm

Brilliant reveal again Reb.

Well done ShaneU

Necro.. what were you thinking!

Reberetta · 28-03-2020 8:49pm

Here's the table which I ripped off another thread. Kinda works if you click with total column then category column. You get the general idea anyway.

Scores After Round

Name|B-side/Live|Funeral Song|Vocal Performance|Weird Music|Total
Homer J|10|7(7)|0|0|17
A.S.L.B|9(2)|5.5(12)|0|0|14.5
tusk |9(3)|6.5(9)|0|0|15.5
Spook ie |8.5(4)|7(8)|0|0|15.5
lassykk |8.5(5)|7(5)|0|0|15.5
$hifty |7.5(6)|6(10)|0|0|13.5
beakerjoe |7.5(7)|4(13)|0|0|11.5
Necro |7.5(8)|0.5(15)|0|0|8
phatkev |7(9)|3(14)|0|0|10
Gru |7(10)|7.5|0|0|14.5
ShaneU |7(11)|10|0|0|17
fixXxer |6.5(12)|8.5|0|0|15
Electric N.|6(13)|9.5|0|0|15.5
Pretzill |6(14)|6(11)|0|0|12
Rikand |5(15)|7(6)|0|0|12

Next reveal will be probably be Monday evening.

Also Starring LeVar Burton · 28-03-2020 8:58pm

Great reveal today Reberetta. Looking forward to the next round.

ShaneU · 28-03-2020 9:26pm

I totally forgot what song I picked, past Shane has great taste I must say

Reberetta · 30-03-2020 4:32pm

3. Great Vocal Performance

Coming up later. For this round, I scored the vocals out of ten and the song itself out of ten, then added up the scores for a total out of twenty.

For tied scores, higher placing given to the song with the better vocals.

Spook_ie · 30-03-2020 4:56pm

Looking forward to it

Reberetta · 30-03-2020 7:33pm

Order of reveal will be same as last time. 13th down to 3rd. Then 14th, 2nd, 15th and 1st.

Reberetta · 30-03-2020 7:38pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song: No

Sean Connery? I am not familiar with Highlander, I believe it is a TV show about...Luke Skywalker fans in kilts?

This is typical Queen; 'low-key' isn't a phrase I'd utilize to describe their music. Layered vocals; bombastic, operatic vehemence; tigerish thumping drum rolls and riffs bigger than Brian May's perm hairdo that make you want to throw your air guitar into the...air. "Oooh Ooooh Ooooh people talk about you..." is my favourite part. There is some killer frenetic fretwork from the guitarist, some siren-like prolonged notes, but it's not vintage Queen. It's a bit too overblown and pompous for me.

Vocals: 7.5/10
Song: 5.5/10
Score: 13

13th place:

beakerjoe

Reberetta · 30-03-2020 7:42pm

Have I heard of this artist: No
Have I heard this song: No

Is she related to Uriah? The vocals on this track might have been modified by a few gadgets. I feel like I'm listening to a robot. I'm wondering how many takes it took and how many tracks I'm actually hearing. It's an interesting concoction with instrumentation almost non-existent. Works best with headphones.

Part of this song was famously sampled by some dude whose name I've forgotten, possibly Jason DeRulo. It's the most notable hook of the song, and if I were her, I would have repeated it throughout and made more filthy cash like an undignified sellout with no values.

This is a decent ditty, but she can hide all she wants, I'm not seeking.

Vocals: 7.5/10
Song: 6/10
Score: 13.5

12th place:

tusk

Reberetta · 30-03-2020 7:46pm

Have I heard of this artist: No
Have I heard this song: No

Interviewer:

On “Feed You Lies,” you’re clearly battling some self-doubt. Is that a personal song, or are you assuming a character. And if it’s about you, does the doubt still percolate to the surface from time to time?

Odu:

"Yeah, it kind of does, actually. “Feed You Lies,” was originally about a friend of mine that was just really frustrating me, just being so limited in the way he was approaching a lot of things in his life. Then I suddenly realized I was essentially talking to myself. I was essentially projecting everything I was feeling toward this person. A lot of it was basically telling myself to wake up; stop limiting the things that I can and can’t do. And yeah, it was a lot of self-doubt, a lot of frustration with my lack of action. This was a period where I was considering whether or not to show anybody this music at all. I thought, “God, nobody wants to listen to this trash; this is terrible.” Eventually I [said], “I’ve gotta put it out there, and I have to stop censoring myself.” So that song was very much turning things against myself. In a lot of ways, the other songs are quite like that, too. There’s a lot of [songs] inspired by other people, but definitely the situations that are involved are things we seem to all have."

The intro sounds like typical eighties, then the vocals hit and it suddenly sounds contemporary. Although it's not irresistibly infectious, the chorus has a singalong quality; its warbling sounds a little like Pink but I'm not blown away by the cadence. This is a passable poppy number but nothing extraordinary. No idea what's going on in the video! Not bad.

Vocals: 7/10
Song: 7/10
Score: 14

11th place:

Also Starring LeVar Burton

fixXxer · 30-03-2020 7:50pm

That Queen song is super unexpected. Haven't heard that for years

Reberetta · 30-03-2020 7:50pm

Have I heard of this artist: No
Have I heard this song: No

Intro is a choir, then the chief cherub comes in. There's a segment after two minutes where she sounds like she's stretching a little but otherwise it's very good. The accompaniment are accomplished angels. I don't know what the lyrical subject matter is, and I don't want to know; I'm just going to assume she is a Mexican bandit singing about the death of one of her gang at the hands of the villainous sheriff; it has the tinge of lament.

I can't say I'm enamoured with the song. It's a tad dull, and doesn't evoke any emotions within yours truly, but I'm sure others' heartstrings have been tugged by this performance.

Excellent singers.

Vocals: 9.5/10
Song: 4.5/10
Score: 14

10th place:

Deleted User

Reberetta · 30-03-2020 7:55pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song: Yes

I have an inexplicable enmity for Tina Turner's hair. It looks like she's got a dead dog resting on her head and I'm tempted to call the RSPCA. And she needs to lay off the lipstick.

This is a classic track with an embedding hook. Alas, it doesn't feature on any playlists of mine. She's a superb diva, though I'm not terribly fond of her voice, and I don't think this really challenges her lungs and allows her to showcase the full range of her talents.

"Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?" How about everybody, specifically the Tin Man.

Vocals: 7.5/10
Song: 7/10
Score: 14.5

9th place:

Spook ie

Reberetta · 30-03-2020 7:59pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song: No

I like Florence's posh English accent and I love reheads, but I'm not the biggest fan of her inflection; although she nurses the soul, she's no Keats' nightingale (See what I did there? Appreciate it heathens!). There's something a bit thick about her natural tone; her voice is like a bowl of tasty porridge.

Creative drumming on this track which is apt. I like the bridge which begins "I run to the river and dive straight in..." at 1.35. Fitting, because through headphones, this song is like a flood, pouring in from all sides; or like a tribe of drumming Indians marching slowly on the attack. Good.

Vocals: 7.5/10
Song: 7/10
Score: 14.5

8th place:

FixXxer

Reberetta · 30-03-2020 8:20pm

Have I heard of this artist: Yes
Have I heard this song: Yes

The intro is instantly recognisable; it has an early Stone Roses vibe. For some reason, this tune brought to mind The Goo Goo Dolls' hit Iris; the acoustics, strings, production and mawkish subject matter I suppose.

A little similar to Matt Bellamy, I'm not overly impressed by his pitch, timbre, intensity and range relative to other contenders in this category, but the high notes are impressive and I like them. 1.35-2.05 is my favourite section. I'm not a big fan of the last minute or so; it's anti-climactic and drags. This grew on me; but much like a wart, not a lot.

Vocals: 7.5/10
Song: 7.5/10
Score: 15

7th place:

Gru

ShaneU · 30-03-2020 8:20pm

I love that song

Reberetta's Walrus Reveal AKA Reberrus!

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