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sister got no Mother's Day card

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Comments

  • #62
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    This is it wrote: »
    Oh, I know. I like to call it out for the crap that it is :)
    And she won't answer the question you posed either btw. ;)


  • #63
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    Sam Quentin wrote: »
    Why are some posters blaming Mum herself!?
    Oh you know... Some people like to be sh1ttily antagonistic.


  • #64
    Leg End Reject
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 22,665 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject


    Even mothers can't escape the try hards. You'd think what's happening globally would give some people pause for thought.

    I left flowers on a grave today, I'd love the "inconvenience" of buying a card and a thoughtful gift.

    https://forumofgames.com/



  • #65
    JustAThought
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,324 ✭✭✭JustAThought


    Did their father not tell them to get her something? Were they always allowed to get away with that ( no card or present) growing up?

    Nothwithstanding that depending on how close you are to them and whether you meet up you could say to them that ‘your mother was very upset that you did not get her a card or present or make any kind of effort for her on mothers day - she works very hard for you and lives you both very much and was very hurt’. If you don’t meet with them then Text this to both of them and see if it has an impact next year or now. It should not be let go unaddressed & Caronavirus is no excuse. Tesco had 5 pallets if flowers delivered and every corner shop sells cards and chocolates. Someone has to stick up for your sister and show some solidarity in a practical way.


  • #66
    Mrs OBumble
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,087 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    This is it wrote: »
    How can you "pretty much guarantee"?

    Because it's a pattern I've observed over and over: parents end up with children who behave the way they were raised.


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  • #67
    susieball
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38 ✭susieball


    No. She is a mother who has worked lots of overtime for them so that they could have grinds, music lessons, holidays. She took her son and his friend to London in January and paid for his friend, flights, hotel. It was a Christmas present for her son age 18. When her daughter was 18 - 18 months ago, she gave her 500 euros for her 18th - she didn't want a party. There is a step-dad for years - since they were small, and he did say it to them, but no effect.


  • #68
    KaneToad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,205 ✭✭✭KaneToad


    She needs to let the kids know that she expects something on Mother's Day. If it means that much to her.

    Lots of people, myself included, don't have any interest in birthday presents/Christmas presents or "marking the occasion" gifts.

    I don't need a specific occasion to get/receive something from those closest to me.


  • #69
    kowloonkev
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,881 ✭✭✭kowloonkev


    susieball wrote: »
    No. She is a mother who has worked lots of overtime for them so that they could have grinds, music lessons, holidays. She took her son and his friend to London in January and paid for his friend, flights, hotel. It was a Christmas present for her son age 18. When her daughter was 18 - 18 months ago, she gave her 500 euros for her 18th - she didn't want a party. There is a step-dad for years - since they were small, and he did say it to them, but no effect.

    She seems to be a lovely and generous mother. Now if she wants to be a really good mother she'll have to take the stick and carrot approach.

    Is the real father still around? - Just thinking they might have been competing for kids' affection and that's what turned them into little s**tbags?

    For the record I absolutely hate cards and all these things myself. As most of these occasions for my family come in the first six months of the year I always breathe a huge sigh of relief when July comes around and I don't have to put up with anymore.

    Prefer to regularly buy healthy food and snacks for my parents to try to keep them around longer.


  • #70
    whisky_galore
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,266 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    First world problems.


  • #71
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 12,694 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Dreadful attitude by the teenagers, more so with leaving the house in a mess, however, the woman is coming across as a litle passive-aggressive poor me I have to work full time and take in student to pay for everything for you.

    The situation did no develop overnight.

    In a calm logical manner explained how she will not be paying for college this year as they both have jobs now, nothing to do with Mother day just to do with growing up.

    Ground rules about mess not talking keeping the house clean but thinks like dishes in the dishwasher.

    Is there a father on the scene at all?


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  • #72
    Badly Drunk Boy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 7,427 ✭✭✭Badly Drunk Boy


    Happy4all wrote: »
    Tell her it current times avoiding Covid 19 is more important than a card.
    And in the interest of social distancing, they can stay in the two tents in the back garden, where they can make all the mess they like!


  • #73
    whisky_galore
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,266 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    This is it wrote: »
    Yeah, radio ads are much higher on the list of world problems.

    Whatever.


  • #74
    banie01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,346 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Jaysus OP!
    Between your own teenager having noisy sex on the mezzanine, and your sister's 2 not bothering their hole to show her a little mother's day appreciation?
    there seems to be a pattern of at the very least a lack of respect shown by the younger folk in your family to their elders?

    Do you think this is a learned behaviour?
    Where do you think those kids learn their mores and norms?


  • #75
    o1s1n
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,933 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    Omackeral wrote: »
    Was a JW myself from the age of 4 til I was old enough to say f*ck religion. So I've been in the trenches too my friend :o

    Glad to hear you escaped!

    It such an insidious and dangerous religion, hidden behind happy, unthreatening Stepford smiles.


  • #76
    susieball
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38 ✭susieball


    My sister's children are usually way better than my own, I think that's why I am surprised. It's usually me who would complain to her. Re the dad - it's a stepdad, but he has been in their lives since they were 2 or 3, and they do get on well.


  • #77
    Jonybgud
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 463 ✭✭Jonybgud


    whisky_galore wrote: »
    First world problems.
    This is it wrote: »
    Yeah, radio ads are much higher on the list of world problems.
    whisky_galore wrote: »
    Whatever.

    OH! Burn

    How will you ever live that one down?.....:D


  • #78
    Zebra3
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,299 ✭✭✭✭Zebra3


    susieball wrote: »
    My sister's kids are 19 and 18. They take my sister for granted a lot of the time. She works full-time and takes in students to pay for everything for them, college etc. This year, as last year, they got her no card or flowers for Mother's Day. They both have part-time jobs. She came home to find the house in a mess, and they were out of the house, When she said she was upset about no acknowledgment of Mother's Day, they just shrugged and one of stated what the hell was she. on about it's only a 'blxxdy day.' I'm not that much into cards, mine just make me cards for Mother's Day, but she is upset. Any thoughts on this would be helpful. I wasn't sure what to say, as I didn't want to make her feel worse.

    Nonsence like Mother's Day isn't the issue here.

    Everything else is though.

    Though tbh, your sister sounds like a mug.


  • #79
    Lefty Bicek
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,625 ✭✭✭Lefty Bicek


    Zebra3 wrote: »

    Though tbh, your sister sounds like a mug.

    Runs in the family.

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2058052488


  • #80
    Galwayguy35
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,194 ✭✭✭✭Galwayguy35


    Some harsh posters on this thread.


  • #81
    Greentopia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,221 ✭✭✭Greentopia


    punisher5112 wrote: »
    You don't know any woman so....

    I'm one of them and don't celebrate these sh1tty Hallmark holidays. Have no desire to spend my money on Chinese made plastic crap and hothoused flowers flown in. And I don't ask or want anything either. Something small and meaningful from and to my partner at Christmas is the most we do.

    We're not all mindless consumerists


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  • #82
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    jaxxx wrote: »
    Ah, first world problems eh?
    whisky_galore wrote: »
    First world problems.
    Could be said about anything.

    I'd say she has spoiled them (still bewildered as to how there is any evidence whatsoever that she neglects special days for them).

    She doesn't deserve to be villified for that. Her children are in the wrong. Acting like sh1ts. If she spoiled them, blaming her should go out the window at a certain point. Responsibility lies with them then. To show a bit of damn appreciation.

    I'm far from a mindless consumerist (because that's what everyone who observes mothers' day is apparently). I wouldn't buy most of the mothers' day paraphernalia. But when my mother likes to feel appreciated on mothers' day, I would have to be one churlish, po-faced type to think "it's a Hallmark day so I'm not doing it!" And I still think it's nice that there's a universal day of recognition and people share their stories, memories etc. Giving gift companies your cash for tat is up to you. I get my mother something she'd love. Or take her for lunch at a restaurant she really wants to try out. Or flowers - don't care if that's mothers' day paraphernalia. She loves flowers. Same with scented candles.

    And it doesn't mean I don't show appreciation otherwise. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

    Some may not get along with their mother, but if you've a wonderful momma, a gesture on mothers' day which means a lot to her is so important. As is showing how much you love her and appreciate all she has done (all the time). When she goes, the loss is tremendous, and as Leg End said, that's far more important than "it's a Hallmark day" whingeing.

    Particularly this year when people can't see their mothers/grandmothers and may be worried about their health.


  • #83
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,506 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Happy4all wrote: »
    Tell her it current times avoiding Covid 19 is more important than a card.

    Ffs!

    Is that now the go to excuse for every single **** up and ignorant / selfish action?

    They could easily, very easily have done a bit of housework and thrown together a dinner. Instead they ****ed off with their mates.

    Sadly, they are spoilt ****s. I won't blame the parent totally. Out of 3 myself I have one like that and within my own siblings there is the 'black sheep' that treats my parents like walking banks.

    Tell mammy to stop acting like mammy until they wise up. Make their own meals, dump the messes they leave in their beds. Not on their beds, in it as in under the covers. We how long they like going hungry and finding dirty dishes where they were planning to crash for the night.

    Worked for me anyway, albeit after a lot of time and shouting


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