Anybody have a sibling who's a complete waster?

MichaelKnee · 02-01-2020 11:07PM #1

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

cryptocurrency · 02-01-2020 11:09PM

Could he not join the army

MichaelKnee · 02-01-2020 11:10PM

cryptocurrency wrote: »

Could he not join the army

He would view himself as above such things. He's the type of guy who waits for everything to be handed to him.

touts · 02-01-2020 11:13PM

MichaelKnee wrote: »

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

No mortgage. No Rent. No Work stress. Can't help thinking he is the smart one and the rest of us are the fools.

Car99 · 02-01-2020 11:13PM

Is he happy and content ? Does he ask his siblings or parents for handouts?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 02-01-2020 11:14PM

Did you not give up working yourself last year?

But to answer the question in the title: No I can't say any of my siblings were wasters. All sorts of paths in life, many different philosophies and aims but all worked to their own ends.

MichaelKnee · 02-01-2020 11:14PM

Car99 wrote: »

Is he happy and content ? Does he ask his siblings or parents for handouts?

In the past, everyone of us has bailed him out at some point or another .

skooterblue2 · 02-01-2020 11:22PM

MichaelKnee wrote: »

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

What are his social skills like?
How old is he?
What did he study at college?
Does he have special interests?
What is his Irish level like?
Can he drive?
Whats he like with projects?
There might be an answer there

corner of hells · 02-01-2020 11:23PM

Nah , I'm the waster in my family.

MichaelKnee · 02-01-2020 11:25PM

What are his social skills like? Great, very active social life
How old is he? Late 20s. Older than me.
What did he study at college? Philosophy
Does he have special interests? Philosophising
What is his Irish level like? Decent I would say.
Can he drive? Yep. My parents bought him a car out of desperation.
Whats he like with projects? He finished college so I'm assuming yes

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 02-01-2020 11:25PM

cryptocurrency wrote: »

Could he not join the army

If he's genuinely a "very clever guy" then probably not...

cryptocurrency · 02-01-2020 11:26PM

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

If he's genuinely a "very clever guy" then probably not...

Sandhurst, great network, great career, during and afterwards.

Andrea B. · 02-01-2020 11:26PM

one out of five isn't bad. Consider yourselves lucky. Also consider yourselves lucky that he is still with ye.

MMXX · 02-01-2020 11:27PM

corner of hells wrote: »

Nah , I'm the waster in my family.

No your not! You might be something that's different to the rest of your family - but you're not a waster!

Grumpypants · 02-01-2020 11:28PM

I don't have a sibling who is a waster but my brother does.

corner of hells · 02-01-2020 11:31PM

MMXX wrote: »

No your not! You might be something that's different to the rest of your family - but you're not a waster!

I feckin well am.

skooterblue2 · 02-01-2020 11:32PM

MichaelKnee wrote: »

What are his social skills like? Great, very active social life
How old is he? Late 20s. Older than me.
What did he study at college? Philosophy
Does he have special interests? Philosophising
What is his Irish level like? Decent I would say.
Can he drive? Yep. My parents bought him a car out of desperation.
Whats he like with projects? He finished college so I'm assuming yes

Not the same thing social skills and social life.
Does he every have a melt down or a mini breakdown from time to time?
Does he shift blame onto everyone else or have conflict with Superiors?
You might want pursue a diagnosis of Higher Functioning Autism.
This is well passed the date for doing it, there may not be a positive result.
Can you get the complete guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Attwood.
It is only €20 delivered. Underline what you think is relevant. I read it cover to cover over two weekends.
Hope this helps.
Teachers, Nurses and Doctors are pure useless as they are ashamed to share this information that their own children might have it or have it themselves.

MichaelKnee · 02-01-2020 11:32PM

corner of hells wrote: »

I feckin well am.

Probably not. In my experience, wasters think that they're contributing in a more "meaningful" way.

Purple Mountain · 02-01-2020 11:33PM

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Not the same thing social skills and social life.
Does he every have a melt down or a mini breakdown from time to time?
Does he shift blame onto everyone else or have conflict with Superiors?
You might want pursue a diagnosis of Higher Functioning Autism.
This is well passed the date for doing it, there may not be a positive result.
Can you get the complete guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Attwood.
It is only €20 delivered. Underline what you think is relevant. I read it cover to cover over two weekends.
Hope this helps.
Teachers, Nurses and Doctors are pure useless as they are ashamed to share this information that their own children might have it or have it themselves.

Or he could be just plain lazy?

ceadaoin. · 02-01-2020 11:34PM

Has Aongus von B not showed up yet?

Gekko · 02-01-2020 11:34PM

He might get a job with Dominic Cummings 🤣😜

Better Than Christ · 02-01-2020 11:35PM

Is he happy? Because that's the most important thing. What does he do with his time? Does he have hobbies?

Stop bailing him out. That's doing him no favours at all.

skooterblue2 · 02-01-2020 11:36PM

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Orhe could be just plain lazy?

That is part of the diagnosis.
I often got a lot of stick for this from my family.
It was only when it emerged that I had Aspergers that none of them want to accept any responsibility. They are mostly health care professionals, teachers and the like. All about as useful as tits on a boar.

MichaelKnee · 02-01-2020 11:37PM

Not the same thing social skills and social life. - you should have outlined your criteria more clearly. He has better social skills than I do.
Does he every have a melt down or a mini breakdown from time to time? - Nope. Other than getting defensive and sulky when any of us bring up his work situation. Other than that, no.
Does he shift blame onto everyone else or have conflict with Superiors? Nope.

He's not autistic.

02-01-2020 11:38PM

MichaelKnee wrote: »

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

You should keep in mind that your sibling and your parents are adults and can sort this out between them. You can hold an opinion but you don’t get to decide anything for them. Keep on your own path and let them pick theirs.

boardise · 02-01-2020 11:39PM

MichaelKnee wrote: »

He would view himself as above such things. He's the type of guy who waits for everything to be handed to him.

Anyone try a bucket and brush ?

Purple Mountain · 02-01-2020 11:39PM

skooterblue2 wrote: »

That is part of the diagnosis.
I often got a lot of stick for this from my family.
It was only when it emerged that I had Aspergers that none of them want to accept any responsibility. They are mostly health care professionals, teachers and the like. All about as useful as tits on a boar.

I get what you're saying in your situation but realistically there's a lot more lazy people than people who have Aspergers out there.

corner of hells · 02-01-2020 11:40PM

MichaelKnee wrote: »

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

It's you OP , isn't it ?
You're the waster in the family.

MichaelKnee · 02-01-2020 11:40PM

Better Than Christ wrote: »

Is he happy? Because that's the most important thing. What does he do with his time? Does he have hobbies?

Stop bailing him out. That's doing him no favours at all.

How is that the most important thing when he's making my parents miserable? He doesn't do much productive things. I guess he reads more than the rest of us, because he has the time.

Mad_maxx · 02-01-2020 11:40PM

MichaelKnee wrote: »

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

Yes, youngest sister, 530 in the leaving in 2006 but bi polar so claims to be too ill to get a job

MichaelKnee · 02-01-2020 11:41PM

boardise wrote: »

Anyone try a bucket and brush ?

I got him an interview with the company I work for, he didn't even show up.

Anybody have a sibling who's a complete waster?

Comments