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Anybody have a sibling who's a complete waster?

MichaelKnee

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

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cryptocurrency

Could he not join the army

MichaelKnee

cryptocurrency wrote: »

Could he not join the army

He would view himself as above such things. He's the type of guy who waits for everything to be handed to him.

touts

MichaelKnee wrote: »

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

No mortgage. No Rent. No Work stress. Can't help thinking he is the smart one and the rest of us are the fools.

Car99

Is he happy and content ? Does he ask his siblings or parents for handouts?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Did you not give up working yourself last year?

But to answer the question in the title: No I can't say any of my siblings were wasters. All sorts of paths in life, many different philosophies and aims but all worked to their own ends.

MichaelKnee

Car99 wrote: »

Is he happy and content ? Does he ask his siblings or parents for handouts?

In the past, everyone of us has bailed him out at some point or another .

skooterblue2

MichaelKnee wrote: »

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

What are his social skills like?
How old is he?
What did he study at college?
Does he have special interests?
What is his Irish level like?
Can he drive?
Whats he like with projects?
There might be an answer there

corner of hells

Nah , I'm the waster in my family.

MichaelKnee

What are his social skills like? Great, very active social life
How old is he? Late 20s. Older than me.
What did he study at college? Philosophy
Does he have special interests? Philosophising
What is his Irish level like? Decent I would say.
Can he drive? Yep. My parents bought him a car out of desperation.
Whats he like with projects? He finished college so I'm assuming yes

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

cryptocurrency wrote: »

Could he not join the army

If he's genuinely a "very clever guy" then probably not...

cryptocurrency

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

If he's genuinely a "very clever guy" then probably not...

Sandhurst, great network, great career, during and afterwards.

Andrea B.

one out of five isn't bad. Consider yourselves lucky. Also consider yourselves lucky that he is still with ye.

MMXX

corner of hells wrote: »

Nah , I'm the waster in my family.

No your not! You might be something that's different to the rest of your family - but you're not a waster!

Grumpypants

I don't have a sibling who is a waster but my brother does.

corner of hells

MMXX wrote: »

No your not! You might be something that's different to the rest of your family - but you're not a waster!

I feckin well am.

skooterblue2

MichaelKnee wrote: »

What are his social skills like? Great, very active social life
How old is he? Late 20s. Older than me.
What did he study at college? Philosophy
Does he have special interests? Philosophising
What is his Irish level like? Decent I would say.
Can he drive? Yep. My parents bought him a car out of desperation.
Whats he like with projects? He finished college so I'm assuming yes

Not the same thing social skills and social life.
Does he every have a melt down or a mini breakdown from time to time?
Does he shift blame onto everyone else or have conflict with Superiors?
You might want pursue a diagnosis of Higher Functioning Autism.
This is well passed the date for doing it, there may not be a positive result.
Can you get the complete guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Attwood.
It is only €20 delivered. Underline what you think is relevant. I read it cover to cover over two weekends.
Hope this helps.
Teachers, Nurses and Doctors are pure useless as they are ashamed to share this information that their own children might have it or have it themselves.

MichaelKnee

corner of hells wrote: »

I feckin well am.

Probably not. In my experience, wasters think that they're contributing in a more "meaningful" way.

Purple Mountain

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Not the same thing social skills and social life.
Does he every have a melt down or a mini breakdown from time to time?
Does he shift blame onto everyone else or have conflict with Superiors?
You might want pursue a diagnosis of Higher Functioning Autism.
This is well passed the date for doing it, there may not be a positive result.
Can you get the complete guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Attwood.
It is only €20 delivered. Underline what you think is relevant. I read it cover to cover over two weekends.
Hope this helps.
Teachers, Nurses and Doctors are pure useless as they are ashamed to share this information that their own children might have it or have it themselves.

Or he could be just plain lazy?

ceadaoin.

Has Aongus von B not showed up yet?

Gekko

He might get a job with Dominic Cummings 🤣😜

Better Than Christ

Is he happy? Because that's the most important thing. What does he do with his time? Does he have hobbies?

Stop bailing him out. That's doing him no favours at all.

skooterblue2

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Orhe could be just plain lazy?

That is part of the diagnosis.
I often got a lot of stick for this from my family.
It was only when it emerged that I had Aspergers that none of them want to accept any responsibility. They are mostly health care professionals, teachers and the like. All about as useful as tits on a boar.

MichaelKnee

Not the same thing social skills and social life. - you should have outlined your criteria more clearly. He has better social skills than I do.
Does he every have a melt down or a mini breakdown from time to time? - Nope. Other than getting defensive and sulky when any of us bring up his work situation. Other than that, no.
Does he shift blame onto everyone else or have conflict with Superiors? Nope.

He's not autistic.

[Deleted User]

MichaelKnee wrote: »

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

You should keep in mind that your sibling and your parents are adults and can sort this out between them. You can hold an opinion but you don’t get to decide anything for them. Keep on your own path and let them pick theirs.

boardise

MichaelKnee wrote: »

He would view himself as above such things. He's the type of guy who waits for everything to be handed to him.

Anyone try a bucket and brush ?

Purple Mountain

skooterblue2 wrote: »

That is part of the diagnosis.
I often got a lot of stick for this from my family.
It was only when it emerged that I had Aspergers that none of them want to accept any responsibility. They are mostly health care professionals, teachers and the like. All about as useful as tits on a boar.

I get what you're saying in your situation but realistically there's a lot more lazy people than people who have Aspergers out there.

corner of hells

MichaelKnee wrote: »

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

It's you OP , isn't it ?
You're the waster in the family.

MichaelKnee

Better Than Christ wrote: »

Is he happy? Because that's the most important thing. What does he do with his time? Does he have hobbies?

Stop bailing him out. That's doing him no favours at all.

How is that the most important thing when he's making my parents miserable? He doesn't do much productive things. I guess he reads more than the rest of us, because he has the time.

Mad_maxx

MichaelKnee wrote: »

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

Yes, youngest sister, 530 in the leaving in 2006 but bi polar so claims to be too ill to get a job

MichaelKnee

boardise wrote: »

Anyone try a bucket and brush ?

I got him an interview with the company I work for, he didn't even show up.