Biggest scandal in your workplace (Mod Note in OP)

Yeah_Right · 25-11-2019 05:32PM

When I was working in advertising for a large national newspaper (not in Ireland) 1 of the guys and 2 ladies from the advertising department got caught having a threesome in a boardroom late one night. A security guard doing the rounds walked in on them all buck-naked on the table. One of the ladies was married. Obviously rumours spread through the company about who was involved. Everyone in the advertising industry heard about it and a rival newspaper even mentioned it in their weekly gossip column (obviously without any names).

Here in Ireland I was working in a call centre for a multi-national. The MD got fired when it was discovered he'd used company funds for monitored alarms in his house and his daughters' houses. Bands and other entertainment that were booked for staff parties were also booked for a family weddings all on the one invoice. When some work had to be done on the building due damage from a burst pipe, the same builders also did renovations on his house. All paid for by the insurance claim. His whole family were on the company's phone plan. It was estimated that he had ripped off about quarter of a million over 4 or 5 years.

Princess Calla · 25-11-2019 05:46PM

Toots wrote: »

We had a few in the last place I worked.

Everyone was really worried about him - a couple of the older women in the office got together and arranged a rota between them to make a load of meals for him to put in the freezer and they'd give them to him on the days he was in. .

What a lovely thing to do. Fair play to those ladies!

Wanderer2010 · 25-11-2019 05:50PM

Theres nowt as queer as folk, honestly...

This isn't a scandal as such but the oddest woman I ever worked with in my life sits opposite me and is such a technophobe that she has an A4 sheet sellotaped to her desk near the keyboard with instructions on how to Logon, how to open Word and how to Log off. She used to only do paper filing then when we went electronic she hadn't an absolute notion what was going on. Shes late 50s and otherwise a lovely woman (she only works 3 days a week so not too bad) but each morning she sits down and starts to NARRATE her activities to nobody in particular.

"Ok so Control Alt and Delete ok so Login ok so whats my password again...ok so open up that document....what is it again, Start Programmes Microsoft Word...ok so...oh whats this thing popping up". EVERY SINGLE DAY. At first I genuinely thought she was taking the p!ss and nobody else really hears her as the office is spaced out but shes dead serious, she cant do a tap of work without speaking about it and her phone is an ancient Nokia, she just cant grasp technology at all. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Tacitus Kilgore · 25-11-2019 05:51PM

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Theres nowt as queer as folk, honestly...

This isn't a scandal as such but the oddest woman I ever worked with in my life sits opposite me and is such a technophobe that she has an A4 sheet sellotaped to her desk near the keyboard with instructions on how to Logon, how to open Word and how to Log off. She used to only do paper filing then when we went electronic she hadn't an absolute notion what was going on. Shes late 50s and otherwise a lovely woman (she only works 3 days a week so not too bad) but each morning she sits down and starts to NARRATE her activities to nobody in particular.

"Ok so Control Alt and Delete ok so Login ok so whats my password again...ok so open up that document....what is it again, Start Programmes Microsoft Word...ok so...oh whats this thing popping up". EVERY SINGLE DAY. At first I genuinely thought she was taking the p!ss and nobody else really hears her as the office is spaced out but shes dead serious, she cant do a tap of work without speaking about it and her phone is an ancient Nokia, she just cant grasp technology at all. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

She's lucky

DrPhilG · 25-11-2019 09:00PM

I know a few like that. I know some nurses who took early retirement because some new systems came in and they couldn't cope.

I spoke to the guy who spent an hour training one of them on the new program and just as he was nearly done she stopped him and said, wait, what do you mean by right click?

The right click instruction was right at the start and she had been stewing over that for the entire time.

ArnoldJRimmer · 25-11-2019 09:09PM

A few years ago, there was an older woman in work sitting in front of a blank screen. A colleague asked them if their computer was broken

'It looks like it'
'Well have you called the help desk?
'No, I can't use those new phones (installed at least five years before), can you call them for me?'

teroknor83 · 25-11-2019 09:27PM

A co-worker sent an email to the entire staff saying that the boss is "nothing but an old ...ox". It was a fun day.

Princess Calla · 25-11-2019 09:29PM

teroknor83 wrote: »

A co-worker sent an email to the entire staff saying that the boss is "nothing but an old ...ox". It was a fun day.

Was she right?

25-11-2019 09:38PM

Toots wrote: »

We had a few in the last place I worked.

One day this woman rocked up to the branch, screaming that she wanted to see the manager and generally making a massive scene. We assumed she was an angry customer and went to get the manager. The manager refused to come out of her office, which was odd, because usually the best practice is to get customers like that out of the public eye and try to diffuse their wrath in the office. Turns out she wasn't an angry customer; she was actually the wife of a manager of another branch, and she had just found out that our manager had been riding her husband. :pac:

.

I’d love to know what branch that was.

ldy4mxonucwsq6 · 25-11-2019 09:47PM

Collie D wrote: »

What an absolute dick. And it sounds like you’ve a very understanding employer and decent colleagues.

EDIT: Seeing your second story, I think I worked there. About 15 years ago now?

Me too! I remember it well.

XLR 8 · 25-11-2019 09:54PM

Having spent some time in the military way back. I could literally write volumes about stuff that never becomes public but is scandalous. I know of an Irish case where a high velocity machine gun vanished. Even though it and several more weapons were locked in a room surrounded by soldiers. A staff sergant being shot and killed while on exercise even though all participants were issued blanks. All spent shells were accounted for and none had ever held live ammo. Nuff said.

corner of hells · 25-11-2019 10:11PM

XLR 8 wrote: »

Having spent some time in the military way back. I could literally write volumes about stuff that never becomes public but is scandalous. I know of an Irish case where a high velocity machine gun vanished. Even though it and several more weapons were locked in a room surrounded by soldiers. A staff sergant being shot and killed while on exercise even though all participants were issued blanks. All spent shells were accounted for and none had ever held live ammo. Nuff said.

Which Army ?

XLR 8 · 25-11-2019 10:27PM

corner of hells wrote: »

Which Army ?

The GPMG theft happened in Ireland. The other story I shall not say which country.

KevRossi · 26-11-2019 04:09AM

Worked in the R&D department of one of the major car manufacturers, deifferent teams were responsible for different models and other teams for introducing spec from higher end models into lower end ones.

Either way, this company spent something like €350m over 4 years on new injection systems for diesel engines, tested and developed them and got everything spot on. Decision was made to defer the launch for 7 months until a brand new model came out. Two of the engineers resigned, essentially on the basis that the system should be introduced straight away. Joined a competitor company straight away, who then managed to introduce a similar system within 6-7 months and trumped their competitor who had developed the system. Saved themselves a year or two and about €100m in the process.

Media copped it and dropped hints about it, but nothing could be done; customers don't care as long as the system is in their cars.

Engineers and developers moving company is very common, they will usually bring trade secrets with them. As a bypass, they would rarely directly join the competitor, but instead work for a 'consultancy' where they can also command serious wages and go above any standard wage packets in the new company.

What was exceptional is that it was impossible to get any info out of the R&D department, so they had to memorise all the info. You were scanned every day going in for cameras or USB sticks / SD cards. We were given slippers to wear on site, your shoes and belts were handed in, as were any bulky jackets, bulky rings, jewellery, even glass frames were checked etc. I had a denim shirt one day and was told to remove it and given a T-Shirt and fleece jacket for the day. Industrial espionage is a big business.

Toots · 26-11-2019 12:52PM

Collie D wrote: »

What an absolute dick. And it sounds like you’ve a very understanding employer and decent colleagues.

EDIT: Seeing your second story, I think I worked there. About 15 years ago now?

Miguel Happy Groin wrote: »

Me too! I remember it well.

God, it probably would be about 15 years or so by now! I joined after it happened and it was all anyone could talk about.

The crappy thing was it absolutely ruined sick leave for everyone else - like for a good while afterwards people were being sent to the company doctor if they were out for a week with a cough or something, because they got so paranoid about someone trying something similar. Apparently, by rights, the dude should have been sent to the company doctor, but in all fairness who the f*ck lies about having cancer FFS! Nobody in their wildest dreams suspected this dude was anything other than genuine.

Princess Calla wrote: »

What a lovely thing to do. Fair play to those ladies!

They are a really lovely bunch, like that was one of the worst parts about it all - you couldn't have found a nicer group of people and he totally took advantage of them.

Deleted User wrote: »

I’d love to know what branch that was.

It was in Dublin, I won't be more specific than that :pac:

SuperS54 · 26-11-2019 02:17PM

Toots wrote: »

God, it probably would be about 15 years or so by now! I joined after it happened and it was all anyone could talk about.

Are you sure your colleagues weren't winding you up?!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sick_Note_(TV_series)

banie01 · 26-11-2019 02:19PM

XLR 8 wrote: »

I know of an Irish case where a high velocity machine gun vanished.

As opposed to the more common, garden variety low velocity ones?

Toots · 26-11-2019 03:33PM

SuperS54 wrote: »

Are you sure your colleagues weren't winding you up?!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sick_Note_(TV_series)

:pac:

No, this was in the early 2000s.

realdanbreen · 26-11-2019 05:45PM

fergus1001 wrote: »

was just in the toilet sitting on the throne when some lad came into the cubical next to me took a piss and started wispering repeatedly "vlad the impaler, vlad the impaler" as he was putting himself back together

Are you sure it wasn't 'wheres me inhaler' ?

Hotblack Desiato · 27-11-2019 12:26PM

Toots wrote: »

The trip to Knock was part of a 3 day trip to Mayo that this woman was on during her summer annual leave.

Dunno if I could withstand that level of excitement, tbh

Then there was also an incident where the CEO of our company stepped down because he'd been caught viewing "adult material" on his office computer.

That happened not too long after he announced they were going to outsource IT.
Do not make enemies in IT :cool:

realdanbreen wrote: »

Are you sure it wasn't 'wheres me inhaler' ?

The work jacks isn't generally the place to go if you need to breathe as deeply as possible

27-11-2019 12:32PM

ive recently worked with a guy who'd done his full stint in the army, some of his stories are .... i mean its pure buffalo soldier stuff, mixed with goodfellas maybe

seagull · 27-11-2019 01:43PM

Any army stories are to be taken with a large pinch of salt.

Hotblack Desiato · 27-11-2019 03:01PM

Some lads with great army stories were never in it. aka "Walter Mittys"

corner of hells · 27-11-2019 03:24PM

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Some lads with great army stories were never in it. aka "Walter Mittys"

I can vaguely remember a GPMG going missing , staff sergeant shot dead not in the Irish Army.

sligojoek · 27-11-2019 05:24PM

"During the war ......'

Shaddup Uncle Albert.

TheW1zard · 27-11-2019 05:35PM

I just destroyed the disabled jacks

Homelander · 27-11-2019 05:39PM

there was a 'dolmen ****ter' at my friends work. Someone who was literally ****ting on the floor and making mini poo-dolmens. Still laugh when I think about it but how ****ed do you have to be. imagine working away at your desk, making small talk within the office, then going and doing that. they never found out who it was.