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Biggest scandal in your workplace (Mod Note in OP)

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Comments

  • Posts: 3,126 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Though interestingly enough, Ireland generally comes out very well on international rankings of eGoverment;


    7th in Europe in the The Digital Economy and Society Index (DESI) https://ec.europa.eu/digital-single-market/desi
    22nd in the world in the UN eGovernment survey; https://publicadministration.un.org/egovkb/Portals/egovkb/Documents/un/2018-Survey/E-Government%20Survey%202018_FINAL%20for%20web.pdf



    Nothing to say about the TCOs in the Civil Service being told to slow down in processing forms?

    That's a total disgrace, not that anyone would be totally surprised considering the useless lumps that dwell in that sector.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,809 ✭✭✭Addle


    I’ve never experienced that type of behaviour myself.
    There are useless lumps in every sector.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    salonfire wrote: »
    Nothing to say about the TCOs in the Civil Service being told to slow down in processing forms?
    No, nothing to say about urban myths. I first heard the story about how 'they were told to slow down' somewhere around 1988, and I didn't believe it then either.


  • Posts: 3,126 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    No, nothing to say about urban myths. I first heard the story about how 'they were told to slow down' somewhere around 1988, and I didn't believe it then either.

    If you have been hearing about it so much suggests it's quite common then. I'd well believe it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭SuperS54


    fergus1001 wrote: »
    I'm not being racist by saying this but most toilets outside of Europe (especially asia) are squating toilets so they might not be accustomed to sitting on the throne as it were

    Squatting toilets are also supposed to be flushed! Working in a company in Asia I can tell you that we have a special rule added to the work rules where not flushing the toilet results in a major demerit, rules are created for a reason...


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭Scoundrel


    salonfire wrote: »
    Nothing to say about the TCOs in the Civil Service being told to slow down in processing forms?

    That's a total disgrace, not that anyone would be totally surprised considering the useless lumps that dwell in that sector.

    Oh calm down dear getting your knickers in a twist over an anonymous post on boards


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    As someone asked, how did he manage to dump on the floor and leave without creating the dump trail himself ?
    Or was there another exit ?


  • Posts: 5,249 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I was thinking what sorts of places ye were working in with people doing that until I remembered my own experience.

    In the stock room someone opened a box to find a dried turd.

    Speculation was that it was either a disgruntled former employee or that same employee who was caught short after a night out.

    It was probably there for months.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    salonfire wrote: »
    If you have been hearing about it so much suggests it's quite common then. I'd well believe it.

    You might want to read up on how urban myths work


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,821 ✭✭✭randd1


    micar wrote: »
    Worked in an English language school....we had this cute Chinese receptionist......at the weekend when the school was closed she'd come in, go online, turn on the webcam and do a few shows for the American soldiers in Iraq.

    Someone walked in one day during the middle of a show and she was promptly let go.

    Why?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,372 ✭✭✭TheW1zard


    Went in to find a blocked toilet, water up to the brim. Big floater on the top.
    There was a pen stuck in the huge poo with a little 'post it' at the top saying "****".
    Happened years ago but I still think of that **** boat, with the little **** sail, fascinated.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,442 ✭✭✭✭DrPhilG


    As someone asked, how did he manage to dump on the floor and leave without creating the dump trail himself ?
    Or was there another exit ?

    Closed the door most of the way and then dropped the poop over the top?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,991 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    DrPhilG wrote: »
    Closed the door most of the way and then dropped the poop over the top?

    Doesn’t even have to drop it over the top. Could just do it a little far back from the opening door, just enough so the “Phantom” could just squeeze out himself.

    The first person in isn’t going to be so cautious. What’s always bothered me about these “crimes” is the lack of wiping.

    “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be” - A. Dumbledore

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,016 ✭✭✭tylercheribini


    The person that suffers the most in all these scat attacks are the poor minimum wage cleaners who have to clean up the mess, hardly sticking it to the man like these dirtbirds think.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    The person that suffers the most in all these scat attacks are the poor minimum wage cleaners who have to clean up the mess, hardly sticking it to the man.

    Most cleaners will rightfully refuse to deal with it. Biohazard specialists will be needed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,442 ✭✭✭✭DrPhilG


    The person that suffers the most in all these scat attacks are the poor minimum wage cleaners who have to clean up the mess, hardly sticking it to the man like these dirtbirds think.

    If the cleaner is a fella then they quite possibly are literally sticking it to the man.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 940 ✭✭✭Colonel Claptrap


    There are plenty of phantom shiiters out there.

    But does your office have a phantom waanker?

    Some utter cretin has been spaffing on the back of a cubicle door in my job.

    The poor cleaning ladies are threatening to walk unless something is done. The stains are not coming off and the longer it goes on, the worse it looks.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,991 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    There are plenty of phantom shiiters out there.

    But does your office have a phantom waanker?

    Some utter cretin has been spaffing on the back of a cubicle door in my job.

    The poor cleaning ladies are threatening to walk unless something is done. The stains are not coming off and the longer it goes on, the worse it looks.

    What sort of animal doesn’t employ the use of a “wankerchief” or “tulip” to catch the mess?

    It certainly becomes, extremely, unsightly, or even unseemly, when it starts to yellow and “harden”. The cleaners are right to complain.

    The offender should be encouraged to use the handicapped toilet, they usually have their own sink so he could continue his “standing starts” without leaving a nasty mess.

    You’d have to imagine it’s a protest of sorts, a “sticky” one at that.

    “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be” - A. Dumbledore

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,613 ✭✭✭fergus1001


    was just in the toilet sitting on the throne when some lad came into the cubical next to me took a piss and started wispering repeatedly "vlad the impaler, vlad the impaler" as he was putting himself back together


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 57 ✭✭AG041


    fergus1001 wrote: »
    was just in the toilet sitting on the throne when some lad came into the cubical next to me took a piss and started wispering repeatedly "vlad the impaler, vlad the impaler" as he was putting himself back together

    That is strange on an awful many levels.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 57 ✭✭AG041


    What sort of animal doesn’t employ the use of a “wankerchief” or “tulip” to catch the mess?

    It certainly becomes, extremely, unsightly, or even unseemly, when it starts to yellow and “harden”. The cleaners are right to complain.

    The offender should be encouraged to use the handicapped toilet, they usually have their own sink so he could continue his “standing starts” without leaving a nasty mess.

    You’d have to imagine it’s a protest of sorts, a “sticky” one at that.

    Ugh that's absolutely rank.

    I guess on the law of averages there will be the odd person having a quick hand shandy in the jacks, but that is beyond the pale.

    I mean there are literally tissues right there , how hard can it be!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,533 ✭✭✭ArnoldJRimmer


    There's a lad in work who gives himself motivational speeches in a jacks cubicle. Except its generally 'you can do this,' or 'Don't f*ck this up,' repeated over and over again. I've not seen the guy, but I do know that he doesn't flush, so either he goes in there to specifically do this (Why? there are so many empty offices/ meeting rooms), or he's a bit of a dirty fcuker too.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,991 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    AG041 wrote: »
    how hard can it be!

    I try not to think about it but you’d have to imagine very.

    “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be” - A. Dumbledore

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 57 ✭✭AG041


    There's a lad in work who gives himself motivational speeches in a jacks cubicle. Except its generally 'you can do this,' or 'Don't f*ck this up,' repeated over and over again. I've not seen the guy, but I do know that he doesn't flush, so either he goes in there to specifically do this (Why? there are so many empty offices/ meeting rooms), or he's a bit of a dirty fcuker too.

    Maybe his motivation ritual involves something other than speech . . .


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 57 ✭✭AG041


    I try not to think about it but you’d have to imagine very.

    FFS I walked into that one . . .


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,533 ✭✭✭ArnoldJRimmer


    AG041 wrote: »
    Maybe his motivation ritual involves something other than speech . . .

    That might explain the heavy breathing, which I was putting down to nerves


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 57 ✭✭AG041


    That might explain the heavy breathing, which I was putting down to nerves

    Maybe he has ED, hence his exhortations "you can do it" "don't F*ck it up" etc. Perhaps he was talking to his little general


  • Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 17,009 Mod ✭✭✭✭Toots


    We had a few in the last place I worked.

    One day this woman rocked up to the branch, screaming that she wanted to see the manager and generally making a massive scene. We assumed she was an angry customer and went to get the manager. The manager refused to come out of her office, which was odd, because usually the best practice is to get customers like that out of the public eye and try to diffuse their wrath in the office. Turns out she wasn't an angry customer; she was actually the wife of a manager of another branch, and she had just found out that our manager had been riding her husband. :pac:


    Then we had the guy who got cancer. Only he didn't. He was in his mid 20's and missed a couple of days and then the day before he came back, everyone was brought in to a meeting to say that he'd be back the next day but that he was going to be undergoing treatment for cancer, and would be in and out periodically while getting the treatment, but wanted to continue working "to keep his life as normal as possible". The staff were asked to help reduce his workload by taking on a few extra tasks, and of course everyone was very concerned about him and did anything they could to help.

    So the guy comes in and says he'll be starting Chemo the next week, and sure enough, he misses about 3 days the next week and one day comes in with his head shaved etc. Over the following months his working week was reduced to two half-days, and on the days he came in he really looked like a guy who was very seriously ill.

    Our employer had an outrageously generous sick pay arrangement - first 6 months were full pay and then it was half pay for the next 6 months. Usually if you were going to be on long term sick, you'd be sent to the company doctor, but in this guy's case he wasn't sent because they had no reason to suspect anything was amiss, he'd brought in a letter from his oncologist, and he overall looked like someone who was on death's door. So even though his working week was reduced so much, he was still getting paid his full salary.

    Everyone was really worried about him - a couple of the older women in the office got together and arranged a rota between them to make a load of meals for him to put in the freezer and they'd give them to him on the days he was in. Another one went off to Knock to pray for him... and this is where it all fell apart.

    The trip to Knock was part of a 3 day trip to Mayo that this woman was on during her summer annual leave. The day after the Knock visit, the tour group went to some random beach and who does she see, looking hale and hearty, carrying a surfboard back up the beach after obviously catching a few waves? She called out to him, and she said his face just dropped, and then he pretended she had the wrong person and ran off after the rest of his friends, but it was very obviously him. She rang the manager straight away and told him what she saw.

    Basically after that phone call, it all went down - the manager rang him and asked could he pop over to get him to sign some paperwork relating to sick pay, and also arrange a house call from the company doctor; framed it all as being routine HR type stuff, but the dude obviously knew he was caught and just came out and admitted everything. He'd faked the letter from the oncologist, shaved his head, and was using makeup to make himself look sick. I'm not sure if he was fired, or if he resigned, but we never saw him again after that.


    Then there was also an incident where the CEO of our company stepped down because he'd been caught viewing "adult material" on his office computer.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,585 ✭✭✭✭Collie D


    What an absolute dick. And it sounds like you’ve a very understanding employer and decent colleagues.

    EDIT: Seeing your second story, I think I worked there. About 15 years ago now?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 57 ✭✭AG041


    Collie D wrote: »
    what an absolute dick. .

    that was essentially the problem


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