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Ultimate Biscuit Tournament (Mod Note Post #1 and #984)

Omackeral · 2019-09-09 18:04:11

The wait is nearly over. It's time for the next delicious installment of The Ultimate Tournament: Diabetes Trilogy. We've previously crowned champions in the Ultimate Chocolate Bar Tournament and the Ultimate Crisp Tournament. Now it's time to crown a new King. Scores of biscuits are going to enter the BoardsDome but only…

09-09-2019 7:04pm

#1

Omackeral

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The wait is nearly over. It's time for the next delicious installment of The Ultimate Tournament: Diabetes Trilogy. We've previously crowned champions in the Ultimate Chocolate Bar Tournament and the Ultimate Crisp Tournament. Now it's time to crown a new King. Scores of biscuits are going to enter the BoardsDome but only one is going to be crowned Ireland's Ultimate Biscuit.

If you haven't participated in one of these yet, I fully encourage you to give it a shot. You'll find yourself getting ridiculously passionate and aggressive about seemingly everyday things. I've had my entire family threatened over Hula Hoops and I don't regret it at all. What we do is have an FA Cup style knockout competition where one snack is pitted against the other and people say why they like what they like or why they hate (and I do mean hate) what they don't. Have a look at the links to the other tournaments above for a taste of what's to come. Also, puns are welcome. Then back here because the first match will be up soon.....

Mod Note

Mods are giving everyone a lot of leeway with regards to slating each other over biscuit preferences in this thread, but people will be thrown out AND/OR the thread will be shut down if overkill continues; and cards will be issued thereafter.

Original note: here

18

Comments

#2 09-09-2019 7:08pm

JohnnyFlash

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All biscuits these days are ****e since they started adding palm oil to the mix. Pointless tournament.

0
#3 09-09-2019 7:08pm

Leg End Reject

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Yay! No voting til after 5 please.

Can't wait to see what the Chickatee morons will be passionate about, no doubt a stale Marietta.

https://forumofgames.com/index.php

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#4 09-09-2019 7:11pm

[Deleted User]
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JohnnyFlash wrote: »

All biscuits these days are ****e since they started adding palm oil to the mix. Pointless tournament.

Then you have never experienced the beauty of a Centra Inspired range chocolate chip biscuit or even a humble custard cream.

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#5 09-09-2019 7:11pm

Omackeral

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JohnnyFlash wrote: »

All biscuits these days are ****e since they started adding palm oil to the mix. Pointless tournament.

You're right. Tournament over. Last one out knock off the lights. Thanks.

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#6 09-09-2019 7:12pm

Franz Von Peppercorn II

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Leg End Reject wrote: »

Yay! No voting til after 5 please.

Can't wait to see what the Chickatee morons will be passionate about, no doubt a stale Marietta.

A cream cracker, eaten in the cubicle when you’ve pushed out a “brown trout” and had a fap.

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#7 09-09-2019 7:13pm

Omackeral

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Franz Von Peppercorn II wrote: »

A cream cracker, eaten in the cubicle when you’ve pushed out a “brown trout” and had a fap.

Post number 6 is where the w*nking and sh*tting gets its first mention. Impressive that things have degenerated this much already. A new record.

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#8 09-09-2019 7:14pm

Leg End Reject

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Franz Von Peppercorn II wrote: »

A cream cracker, eaten in the cubicle when you’ve pushed out a “brown trout” and had a fap.

Needs more "inverted commas" with a side serving of multiple personality disorder.

https://forumofgames.com/index.php

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#9 09-09-2019 7:15pm

cdeb

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Yay!

Just finishing off a Coffee Caramel Digestive. Had no idea of their existence until recently - but yum yum yum!

Other people's idea of hell, I'm sure. And that's what makes this thread so great.

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#10 09-09-2019 7:16pm

JohnnyFlash

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Franz Von Peppercorn II wrote: »

A cream cracker, eaten in the cubicle when you’ve pushed out a “brown trout” and had a fap.

You work in IT as well?

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#11 09-09-2019 7:17pm

corner of hells

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Omackeral wrote: »

Post number 6 is where the w*nking and sh*tting gets its first mention. Impressive that things have degenerated this much already. A new record.

The fact that he managed to get **** and ****ting into a thread about biscuits deserves an honourable mention in its self.

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#12 09-09-2019 7:18pm

Autosport

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Leg End Reject wrote: »

Yay! No voting til after 5 please.

Can't wait to see what the Chickatee morons will be passionate about, no doubt a stale Marietta.

What's wrong with Mariettas :P

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#13 09-09-2019 7:18pm

Skylinehead

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See, this is going to be complicated. Take the humble custard cream for example. Most of them? Grand. Aldi? Amazing. How do we factor that in?

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#14 09-09-2019 7:19pm

Ted_YNWA

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Chocolate hobnobs are the nicest around. Aldi ones are dangerously addictive.

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#15 09-09-2019 7:19pm

Leg End Reject

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Autosport wrote: »

What's wrong with Mariettas :P

I'm definitely puking in your car now!

https://forumofgames.com/index.php

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#16 09-09-2019 7:20pm

Necro

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Custard Creams ftw!!

Nothing like them with a cup of tea.

You can keep all your fancy sh1te away from my biscuit tin.

Partial to plain digestives and choc chip cookies as well.

And of course the good ol' Jam and Cream. Not Jammie Dodgers. Poor poor substitute for the classic.

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#17 09-09-2019 7:21pm

Ted_YNWA

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Leg End Reject wrote: »

I'm definitely puking in your car now!

What biscuits were you eating to cause this nausea?

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#18 09-09-2019 7:22pm

Deebles McBeebles

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JohnnyFlash wrote: »

All biscuits these days are ****e since they started adding palm oil to the mix. Pointless tournament.

Only palm oil you appreciate is the stuff left on your palm after you've taken your leathery auld todger for a lubed-up runaround.

Is it too early for insults?

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#19 09-09-2019 7:23pm

cdeb

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Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Only palm oil you appreciate is the stuff left on your palm after you've taken your leathery auld todger for a lubed-up runaround.

Is it too early for insults?

Never too early for poetry like that.

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#20 09-09-2019 7:23pm

Necro

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Steady on there Deebles we haven't even found a biscuit to fight about yet!!

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#21 09-09-2019 7:24pm

Omackeral

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Here's the rules for Round 1

1. Each match is made using a Random Number Generator.

2. You must give a reason for your choice or it won't count. It's more fun this way. Some people cast a vote with just their choice and then go back to edit it and include a choice. This is allowed once your post is edited by the time the count begins i.e. fairly quickly.

3. The first biscuit to receive 8 votes goes through to the next round.

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#22 09-09-2019 7:24pm

Autosport

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Leg End Reject wrote: »

I'm definitely puking in your car now!

You won't get your rear end near my vehicle .

Marietta with butter

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#23 09-09-2019 7:25pm

Autosport

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Toffypops gets my vote

Delicious mix of chocolate and toffee and so easily addictive

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#24 09-09-2019 7:26pm

Omackeral

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Skylinehead wrote: »

See, this is going to be complicated. Take the humble custard cream for example. Most of them? Grand. Aldi? Amazing. How do we factor that in?

You are free to rank the biscuit according to it's worst or best incarnation. Could make for some interesting insights tbh.

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#25 09-09-2019 7:27pm

Deebles McBeebles

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Necro wrote: »

Steady on there Deebles we haven't even found a biscuit to fight about yet!!

Necro wrote: »

Partial to plain digestives

I'm fuming over this one already.

Lets do this!

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#26 09-09-2019 7:27pm

Necro

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Autosport wrote: »

Toffypops gets my vote

Delicious mix of chocolate and toffee and so easily addictive

I class Toffypops as fancy sh1te. Wouldn't even consider them when shopping in the biscuit aisle tbh.

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#27 09-09-2019 7:28pm

Ted_YNWA

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Jaffa cakes are definitely cakes and should be struck out as eligible for this competition. No way a biscuit.

Not even nice either.

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#28 09-09-2019 7:28pm

Necro

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Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

I'm fuming over this one already.

Lets do this!

What's wrong with plain digestives? The ultimate in dunkability

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#29 09-09-2019 7:29pm

Autosport

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Ted_YNWA wrote: »

Jaffa cakes are definitely cakes and should be struck out as eligible for this competition. No way a biscuit.

Not even nice either.

They're evil

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#30 09-09-2019 7:29pm

Necro

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Ted_YNWA wrote: »

Jaffa cakes are definitely cakes and should be struck out as eligible for this competition. No way a biscuit.

Not even nice either.

I don't mind them actually. But again wouldn't buy them. If they appear in the house though they'd get eaten.

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#31 09-09-2019 7:29pm

Autosport

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Necro wrote: »

I class Toffypops as fancy sh1te. Wouldn't even consider them when shopping in the biscuit aisle tbh.

Your loss :P

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#32 09-09-2019 7:30pm

Omackeral

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Fox's Jam and Cream

VS

Mikado

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#33 09-09-2019 7:31pm

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

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Mikado. Beautiful, wet, pink and fluffy. Like a pulsating sheep vagina ready to be cream-pied.

0
#34 09-09-2019 7:31pm

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

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Love my daily six or eight biscuits. This is going to be difficult.

Not a lover of either of these but Jam & Cream get my vote by default of not containing coconut.

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#35 09-09-2019 7:31pm

Deebles McBeebles

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Necro wrote: »

What's wrong with plain digestives? The ultimate in dunkability

This is Tayto C+O all over again, N. I won't have it.

DIGESTIVES! THOU SHALT NOT PASS!

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#36 09-09-2019 7:31pm

EmmetSpiceland

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McVitie’s “Boasters” were an impressive biscuit, the chocolate and hazelnut one.

And before any “yanks” descend on the thread banging on about them being “cookies” they are, in fact, biscuits.

“It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis

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#37 09-09-2019 7:31pm

Necro

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Mikado here. Foxes biscuits are too rich in flavour for me. Not a patch on Jacobs for example.

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#38 09-09-2019 7:32pm

Duane Dibbley

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Fox’s Jan and cream. I don’t like coconut

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#39 09-09-2019 7:32pm

Necro

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Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

This is Tayto C+O all over again, N. I won't have it.

DIGESTIVES! THOU SHALT NOT PASS!

I voted for Bacon Fries

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#40 09-09-2019 7:32pm

EmmetSpiceland

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Mikado

“It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis

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#41 09-09-2019 7:33pm

Omackeral

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Duane Dibbley wrote: »

Fox’s Jan and cream.

Sure, Jan. Spell it correctly or get the f*ck out of the thread.

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#42 09-09-2019 7:33pm

Gregor Samsa

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Mikado. They don’t crumble like jam and creams. End up all over your lap.

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#43 09-09-2019 7:34pm

Deebles McBeebles

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Mikado.

Mikado, for me, represent the beauty of the female form. Some soft, pillowy lumps and the odd bit of jam.

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#44 09-09-2019 7:34pm

Cupp3r

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Does Tunnocks caramel wafers pass for a biscuit. If not they should.

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#45 09-09-2019 7:34pm

Ted_YNWA

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Jam & Cream, touch of elegance about them. Good for s mini dunk too.

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#46 09-09-2019 7:35pm

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Neither of those abominations will get my vote.

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#47 09-09-2019 7:35pm

gwalk

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Jam and Cream

**** mikados, pointless for dunking

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#48 09-09-2019 7:36pm

Autosport

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Mikado gets my vote, nice and light and you don't feel so guilty if you eat more than one

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#49 09-09-2019 7:36pm

gerrybbadd

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Mikado. The other cünts are too flaky

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#50 09-09-2019 7:36pm

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

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One is a classic, avant-garde in shape, novel in taste (Mikado), the other is for fat people with ugly children who live in ghost estates.

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#51 09-09-2019 7:39pm

adox

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Mikado. Fluffy, coconutty, biscuity. A classic.

Jam and cream. Crumbling muck and they sound rather rude!

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