Did you ever go to an escort?

Problem Of Motivation · 04-09-2019 04:49PM #1

Mod note - No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc.
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc.
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc .
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc.
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc.
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc .
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc.
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc.
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc .
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc.
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc.
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc .
No jokes apart from one's about cars, etc.

What things were you wearing of once you stepped inside the door? Ever come across someone who looked different than in the photo? etc.

04-09-2019 04:50PM

I did once. She was quite a banger.

freshpopcorn · 04-09-2019 04:54PM

I was more of the Focus era!

EmmetSpiceland · 04-09-2019 04:55PM

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

Ever come across someone who looked different than in the photo?

No, just the photo.

JohnnyFlash · 04-09-2019 04:55PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I did once. She was quite a banger.

I also presumed you were still a virgin, Bertie. Not sure I agree with using the services of a lady of the night to lose it, but I suppose if you’ve hit 35 and it hasn’t happened yet then needs must.

PsychoPete · 04-09-2019 04:56PM

Yes, I found it ironic that I was the one that had to shower first

NSAman · 04-09-2019 04:57PM

Preferred Cortina myself.. much more accommodating.

JeffKenna · 04-09-2019 04:57PM

I once fell in love with an escourt.

04-09-2019 04:57PM

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I also presumed you were still a virgin, Bertie. Not sure I agree with using the services of a lady of the night to lose it, but I suppose if you’ve hit 35 and it hasn’t happened yet then needs must.

*Whoosh*

Thanks for playing.

skallywag · 04-09-2019 04:57PM

No way I would touch one unless she was a Cosworth.

Kermit D. Frog · 04-09-2019 05:00PM

I did. In Western Australia, in a legal brothel. Went in, was greeted by a hostess who rang a doorbell and the available girls all came out in their lingerie and lined up.

I picked a girl, and we went to a room. I had a shower and some mouthwash.

On to the bed, she was naked, started with a massage, when I was hard she slipped a condom on, and into her I went for a few seconds, until my erection failed totally I was that nervous.

She was very nice, chatted, told me to relax and got me hard again, in I went again for a minute, went soft again.

So we took the condom off and just lay in bed having a chat for about 10 mins.

I was 22, had had a few drinks, and was lonely and tempted.

skallywag · 04-09-2019 05:02PM

Kermit D. Frog wrote: »

I did. In Western Australia, in a legal brothel. Went in, was greeted by a hostess who rang a doorbell and the available girls all came out in their lingerie and lined up.

I picked a girl, and we went to a room. I had a shower and some mouthwash.

On to the bed, she was naked, started with a massage, when I was hard she slipped a condom on, and into her I went for a few seconds, until my erection failed totally I was that nervous.

She was very nice, chatted, told me to relax, age got me hard again, in I went again for a minute, went soft again.

So we took the condom off and just lay in bed having a chat for about 10 mins.

I was 22, had had a few drinks, and was lonely and tempted.

Bet she threw on 'Money for Nothing' on the CD player after you left the room.

Kermit D. Frog · 04-09-2019 05:04PM

skallywag wrote: »

Bet she threw on 'Money for Nothing' on the CD player after you left the room.

Perhaps! I got a naked cuddle, some technical sex and an embarrassing memory. It is what it is though.

PsychoPete · 04-09-2019 05:04PM

Kermit D. Frog wrote: »

I did. In Western Australia, in a legal brothel. Went in, was greeted by a hostess who rang a doorbell and the available girls all came out in their lingerie and lined up.

I picked a girl, and we went to a room. I had a shower and some mouthwash.

On to the bed, she was naked, started with a massage, when I was hard she slipped a condom on, and into her I went for a few seconds, until my erection failed totally I was that nervous.

She was very nice, chatted, told me to relax and got me hard again, in I went again for a minute, went soft again.

So we took the condom off and just lay in bed having a chat for about 10 mins.

I was 22, had had a few drinks, and was lonely and tempted.

Mashing a marshmallow into a piggy bank just doesn't work

gifted · 04-09-2019 05:06PM

Kermit D. Frog wrote: »

I did. In Western Australia, in a legal brothel. Went in, was greeted by a hostess who rang a doorbell and the available girls all came out in their lingerie and lined up.

I picked a girl, and we went to a room. I had a shower and some mouthwash.

On to the bed, she was naked, started with a massage, when I was hard she slipped a condom on, and into her I went for a few seconds, until my erection failed totally I was that nervous.

She was very nice, chatted, told me to relax and got me hard again, in I went again for a minute, went soft again.

So we took the condom off and just lay in bed having a chat for about 10 mins.

I was 22, had had a few drinks, and was lonely and tempted.

Now known as Kermit D Flop.....

Problem Of Motivation · 04-09-2019 05:08PM

Kermit D. Frog wrote: »

I did. In Western Australia, in a legal brothel. Went in, was greeted by a hostess who rang a doorbell and the available girls all came out in their lingerie and lined up.

I picked a girl, and we went to a room. I had a shower and some mouthwash.

On to the bed, she was naked, started with a massage, when I was hard she slipped a condom on, and into her I went for a few seconds, until my erection failed totally I was that nervous.

She was very nice, chatted, told me to relax and got me hard again, in I went again for a minute, went soft again.

So we took the condom off and just lay in bed having a chat for about 10 mins.

I was 22, had had a few drinks, and was lonely and tempted.

I thank you for your honesty. I bow down to you.

Baron Kurtz · 04-09-2019 05:14PM

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

I thank you for your honesty. I bow down to you.

Should be no need to bow to him. We were told there wasn't much going on down there

Phileas Frog · 04-09-2019 05:17PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I did once. She was quite a banger.

She had a hefty langer?

cj maxx · 04-09-2019 05:17PM

I'd say most fellas who have lived abroad have been to knocking shop. Even the likes of a galway lad in ny I met. Rang his girlfriend twice a day. If lads joked about hookers he was 'disgusted '. His girl was the love of his life and this 18yo was in a committed grown up relationship.
Spotted him coming out the door of the $20 skanks in Elmhurst.
Let a roar at him but he took off pretty sharpish. I never told the lads or they would have destroyed him , but it took him down a peg or 10

cj maxx · 04-09-2019 05:19PM

I once got a blow job in a brothel . Took about 4 whiskeys to get the taste out of my mouth

skallywag · 04-09-2019 05:20PM

cjmc wrote: »

I once got a blow job in a brothel . Took about 4 whiskeys to get the taste out of my mouth

You need to watch Succession!

corner of hells · 04-09-2019 05:21PM

cjmc wrote: »

I once got a blow job in a brothel . Took about 4 whiskeys to get the taste out of my mouth

Was it the same brothel your friend was coming out of ?

cj maxx · 04-09-2019 05:23PM

corner of hells wrote: »

Was it the same brothel your friend was coming out of ?

Definitely not

kowloon · 04-09-2019 05:24PM

PsychoPete wrote: »

Mashing a marshmallow into a piggy bank just doesn't work

Like pushing a rope up Grafton Street.

JohnnyFlash · 04-09-2019 05:26PM

Most of the lads who head off to Spain and Portugal in groups to play golf are banging hookers over there. In fact it’s more about the pints and the pussy then the putts.

nacho libre · 04-09-2019 05:35PM

I never have. When I can't see it anymore, I might just do so.

IAMAMORON · 04-09-2019 05:40PM

I blew a tranny in my Cortina a while back. I then got a Sierra , but never went for an escort.

skallywag · 04-09-2019 05:46PM

IAMAMORON wrote: »

I blew a tranny in my Cortina a while back.

The radios were known to be bad in those alright.

JohnnyFlash · 04-09-2019 05:46PM

The car jokes aren’t really working out for ye, lads. They just aren’t funny.

skallywag · 04-09-2019 05:48PM

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

The car jokes aren’t really working out for ye, lads. They just aren’t funny.

Disagree with you.

If someone starts a thread like this in AH, what else is expected? A full on serious debate?

Personal Issues is a few clicks away.

Plus, I bet you have never owned an Escort?

Bob the Seducer · 04-09-2019 05:49PM

IAMAMORON wrote: »

I blew a tranny in my Cortina a while back. I then got a Sierra , but never went for an escort.

Outside the US, the transmission is normally referred to as the gearbox.

Did you ever go to an escort?

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