If You Woke Up as the Opposite Sex

JupiterKid · 04-07-2019 02:11PM #1

So, let's say you went to sleep and - like the character Orlando in Virginia Woolf's book - you woke up as the opposite sex, and were that sex for a full week before reverting to the sex (not gender BTW) you were born with...

...what would you do? What feelings would you have?

Hedgelayer · 04-07-2019 02:13PM

Hopefully ill wake up with the same physical build as Kylie Minogue similar looks and have the best week of catching up ever.....

Stark · 04-07-2019 02:13PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkJ5CKcpJwo

Potential-Monke · 04-07-2019 02:14PM

As a man, if I woke up as a woman, I'd spend the entire week playing a game of 'What fits in there today'.

the beer revolu · 04-07-2019 02:14PM

Vegetables.

D3V!L · 04-07-2019 02:15PM

Jumping jacks.....

Loads and loads of jumping jacks.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 04-07-2019 02:21PM

Pee on things.

Lift heavy things.

I'm assuming we're all taking the immediate **** as read, yeah?

Also I hope you guys who are waking up female wake up on the right week of the month and aren't thrown in totally at the deep end :eek:

04-07-2019 02:22PM

Play with my tits. I mean wtf do you expect any man, gay or bi or straight, to say to that? Women may have a different answer but I can only speak for men.

gerrybbadd · 04-07-2019 02:22PM

I'd have the bean absolutely flicked off meself.

JohnnyFlash · 04-07-2019 02:24PM

Sit at a bar looking sultry and mysterious so ugly dudes could buy me free drinks.

04-07-2019 02:27PM

Brianna Bumpy Radio wrote: »

Pee on things.

Lift heavy things.

I'm assuming we're all taking the immediate **** as read, yeah?

Also I hope you guys who are waking up female wake up on the right week of the month and aren't thrown in totally at the deep end :eek:

You'd visit a certain rockstars grave and do the honours:. JJ ??? I'll edit this later.

Mams hippo flaps · 04-07-2019 02:29PM

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Sit at a bar looking sultry and mysterious so ugly dudes could buy me free drinks.

You can do that in The George every day of the week as it is!

branie2 · 04-07-2019 02:31PM

I'd hope I looked like Gwyneth Paltrow

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 04-07-2019 02:31PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

You'd visit a certain rockstars grave and do the honours:. JJ ??? I'll edit this later.

I should certainly hope so :pac:

Wish I was drunk off my face at half two on a Thursday

Edit: saw the edit. Still lost.

Deebles McBeebles · 04-07-2019 02:31PM

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Sit at a bar looking sultry and mysterious so ugly dudes could buy me free drinks.

Aim higher Johnny, you might get a looker or two interested.

JohnnyFlash · 04-07-2019 02:34PM

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Aim higher Johnny, you might get a looker or two interested.

I’d be in it for the drinks and not for the dicks, Deebles.

Deebles McBeebles · 04-07-2019 02:36PM

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I’d be in it for the drinks and not for the dicks, Deebles.

You big tease!

Pauliedragon · 04-07-2019 03:42PM

Experience a lot of bad sex.

JupiterKid · 04-07-2019 04:10PM

I would have an impossibly hard time trying to walk in heels. Ever seen the 1991 comedy film Switch with Ellen Barkin? It's hilarious!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gwGn8a64i0

Ragnar Lothbrok · 04-07-2019 05:24PM

I'm assuming I'd wake as a totally beautiful woman.

Then I'd wonder how I'd get from home to the lingerie shop dressed only in size 10 Doc Martens, jeans and an XL Cork City shirt. If I managed that, I'd get home and wonder how the hell all the fancy little clips and buttons worked.

Then I'd give up trying to be feminine, and spend the week on the beer.

gigantic09 · 04-07-2019 05:45PM

Take up a 7 day gym membership and hit the showers.

04-07-2019 05:52PM

I'd pee on things, high things, low things, big things, small things. I'd pee up stuff, on stuff, indoors, outdoors, I'd aim for stationary objects and I'd aim for moving targets.

I'd basically hose the world down with pee while I have the chance.

suicide_circus · 04-07-2019 06:16PM

i would suffer great oppression and degradation under the iron heel of the patriarchy, desperately scratching at the glass ceiling

is_that_so · 04-07-2019 06:34PM

suicide_circus wrote: »

i would suffer great oppression and degradation under the iron heel of the patriarchy, desperately scratching at the glass ceiling

All that in a week?

J Mysterio · 04-07-2019 06:40PM

So... Basically women just want to be able to piss like a man can? Fair enough, it is great fun.

hatrickpatrick · 04-07-2019 06:42PM

Go to the bathroom in a nightclub just to see what actually goes on in there when most women I know go to the loo in a "pack" (and even at house parties, go into the bathroom together in groups of no fewer than three). I mean it's one thing for lads to use the urinals next to eachother, but I just find it decidedly weird to imagine being in a cubicle while someone else is actually sitting on the jacks. I can only assume that whatever goes on in there is so epically fun and cool that it overcomes the aforementioned weirdness, hence a lifelong curiosity

J Mysterio · 04-07-2019 06:43PM

J Mysterio · 04-07-2019 06:45PM

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Go to the bathroom in a nightclub just to see what actually goes on in there when most women I know go to the loo in a "pack" (and even at house parties, go into the bathroom together in groups of no fewer than three). I mean it's one thing for lads to use the urinals next to eachother, but I just find it decidedly weird to imagine being in a cubicle while someone else is actually sitting on the jacks. I can only assume that whatever goes on in there is so epically fun and cool that it overcomes the aforementioned weirdness, hence a lifelong curiosity

Guys toilets have pissy urinals and a few cubicles. In womens they have couches, TV's, bulletin boards, printing and laminating stations etc.

hatrickpatrick · 04-07-2019 06:54PM

Candie wrote: »

I'd pee on things, high things, low things, big things, small things. I'd pee up stuff, on stuff, indoors, outdoors, I'd aim for stationary objects and I'd aim for moving targets.

I'd basically hose the world down with pee while I have the chance.

So what you're saying is, you'd blast it with piss

hatrickpatrick · 04-07-2019 06:55PM

J Mysterio wrote: »

Guys toilets have pissy urinals and a few cubicles. In womens they have couches, TV's, bulletin boards, printing and laminating stations etc.

Surely in the nightclub context what they'd really want in there is a mini cocktail bar in the corner?

ILoveYourVibes · 04-07-2019 07:31PM

Lift heavy things. See how many push ups I can do.

Heads up to the guys ..if you feel heavy and pains in your legs ....then cramps in your abdomen..and breast tenderness ..this is not really a fair week to swap.

If You Woke Up as the Opposite Sex

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