If You Woke Up as the Opposite Sex

JupiterKid

So, let's say you went to sleep and - like the character Orlando in Virginia Woolf's book - you woke up as the opposite sex, and were that sex for a full week before reverting to the sex (not gender BTW) you were born with...

...what would you do? What feelings would you have?

Hedgelayer

Hopefully ill wake up with the same physical build as Kylie Minogue similar looks and have the best week of catching up ever.....

Stark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkJ5CKcpJwo

Potential-Monke

As a man, if I woke up as a woman, I'd spend the entire week playing a game of 'What fits in there today'.

the beer revolu

Vegetables.

D3V!L

Jumping jacks.....


Loads and loads of jumping jacks.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Pee on things.

Lift heavy things.

I'm assuming we're all taking the immediate **** as read, yeah?

Also I hope you guys who are waking up female wake up on the right week of the month and aren't thrown in totally at the deep end :eek:

Play with my tits. I mean wtf do you expect any man, gay or bi or straight, to say to that? Women may have a different answer but I can only speak for men.

gerrybbadd

I'd have the bean absolutely flicked off meself.

JohnnyFlash

Sit at a bar looking sultry and mysterious so ugly dudes could buy me free drinks.

Brianna Bumpy Radio

Brianna Bumpy Radio wrote: »

Pee on things.

Lift heavy things.

I'm assuming we're all taking the immediate **** as read, yeah?

Also I hope you guys who are waking up female wake up on the right week of the month and aren't thrown in totally at the deep end :eek:

You'd visit a certain rockstars grave and do the honours:. JJ ??? I'll edit this later.

Mams hippo flaps

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Sit at a bar looking sultry and mysterious so ugly dudes could buy me free drinks.

You can do that in The George every day of the week as it is!

branie2

I'd hope I looked like Gwyneth Paltrow

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

[Deleted User] wrote: »

You'd visit a certain rockstars grave and do the honours:. JJ ??? I'll edit this later.

I should certainly hope so :pac:

Wish I was drunk off my face at half two on a Thursday

Edit: saw the edit. Still lost.

Deebles McBeebles

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Sit at a bar looking sultry and mysterious so ugly dudes could buy me free drinks.

Aim higher Johnny, you might get a looker or two interested.

JohnnyFlash

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Aim higher Johnny, you might get a looker or two interested.

I’d be in it for the drinks and not for the dicks, Deebles.

Deebles McBeebles

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I’d be in it for the drinks and not for the dicks, Deebles.

You big tease!

Pauliedragon

Experience a lot of bad sex.

JupiterKid

I would have an impossibly hard time trying to walk in heels. Ever seen the 1991 comedy film Switch with Ellen Barkin? It's hilarious!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gwGn8a64i0

Ragnar Lothbrok

I'm assuming I'd wake as a totally beautiful woman.

Then I'd wonder how I'd get from home to the lingerie shop dressed only in size 10 Doc Martens, jeans and an XL Cork City shirt. If I managed that, I'd get home and wonder how the hell all the fancy little clips and buttons worked.

Then I'd give up trying to be feminine, and spend the week on the beer.

gigantic09

Take up a 7 day gym membership and hit the showers.

I'd pee on things, high things, low things, big things, small things. I'd pee up stuff, on stuff, indoors, outdoors, I'd aim for stationary objects and I'd aim for moving targets.

I'd basically hose the world down with pee while I have the chance.

suicide_circus

i would suffer great oppression and degradation under the iron heel of the patriarchy, desperately scratching at the glass ceiling

is_that_so

suicide_circus wrote: »

i would suffer great oppression and degradation under the iron heel of the patriarchy, desperately scratching at the glass ceiling

All that in a week?

J Mysterio

So... Basically women just want to be able to piss like a man can? Fair enough, it is great fun.

hatrickpatrick

Go to the bathroom in a nightclub just to see what actually goes on in there when most women I know go to the loo in a "pack" (and even at house parties, go into the bathroom together in groups of no fewer than three). I mean it's one thing for lads to use the urinals next to eachother, but I just find it decidedly weird to imagine being in a cubicle while someone else is actually sitting on the jacks. I can only assume that whatever goes on in there is so epically fun and cool that it overcomes the aforementioned weirdness, hence a lifelong curiosity

J Mysterio

J Mysterio

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Go to the bathroom in a nightclub just to see what actually goes on in there when most women I know go to the loo in a "pack" (and even at house parties, go into the bathroom together in groups of no fewer than three). I mean it's one thing for lads to use the urinals next to eachother, but I just find it decidedly weird to imagine being in a cubicle while someone else is actually sitting on the jacks. I can only assume that whatever goes on in there is so epically fun and cool that it overcomes the aforementioned weirdness, hence a lifelong curiosity

Guys toilets have pissy urinals and a few cubicles. In womens they have couches, TV's, bulletin boards, printing and laminating stations etc.

hatrickpatrick

Candie wrote: »

I'd pee on things, high things, low things, big things, small things. I'd pee up stuff, on stuff, indoors, outdoors, I'd aim for stationary objects and I'd aim for moving targets.

I'd basically hose the world down with pee while I have the chance.

So what you're saying is, you'd blast it with piss

hatrickpatrick

J Mysterio wrote: »

Guys toilets have pissy urinals and a few cubicles. In womens they have couches, TV's, bulletin boards, printing and laminating stations etc.

Surely in the nightclub context what they'd really want in there is a mini cocktail bar in the corner?

ILoveYourVibes

Lift heavy things. See how many push ups I can do.

Heads up to the guys ..if you feel heavy and pains in your legs ....then cramps in your abdomen..and breast tenderness ..this is not really a fair week to swap.

Potential-Monke

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Heads up to the guys ..if you feel heavy and pains in your legs ....then cramps in your abdomen..and breast tenderness ..this is not really a fair week to swap.

If we're going to make this a possibility, then I think it's only fair to say that if you're a woman changing to a man for the week, you get periodic and swift kicks and flicks to the bollix for the week. Just to make it fair.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

I’d be a big kid and explore the advantages of having a willy.

ILoveYourVibes

Potential-Monke wrote: »

If we're going to make this a possibility, then I think it's only fair to say that if you're a woman changing to a man for the week, you get periodic and swift kicks and flicks to the bollix for the week. Just to make it fair.

You think periods are like a kick to the bollix? I thought that was labor???:D

Also i have been kicked in the crotch as a female ...excruciating!

Potential-Monke

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

You think periods are like a kick to the bollix? I thought that was labor???:D

Also i have been kicked in the crotch as a female ...excruciating!

I'm just liking pain for pain, neither of us can say which is worse, only that we know our own is bad. And usually a flick is worse than a kick. *shudders*

ILoveYourVibes

Potential-Monke wrote: »

I'm just liking pain for pain, neither of us can say which is worse, only that we know our own is bad. And usually a flick is worse than a kick. *shudders*

Ah well may your crotch be well protected so.

harry Bailey esq

JupiterKid wrote: »

So, let's say you went to sleep and - like the character Orlando in Virginia Woolf's book - you woke up as the opposite sex, and were that sex for a full week before reverting to the sex (not gender BTW) you were born with...

...what would you do? What feelings would you have?

I'm an early riser,so I'd play with my tits for a while. Then I'd hit Molloy's or some other early house and through a little innuendo and guile,score free drinks for meself all day and then take meself home for a drunken grope.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Women want to pee on things, men want free drinks.

We're simple creatures really aren't we. God maybe we should all swap!

Hector Savage

Would just sit in front of a mirror and camera vigorously masturbating and playing with my tits.
Like real legs behind the ears stuff, no soft sh*te, I'm a f*cking pervert me !!!

Well I like to think of myself as having the eyes and mind of a pervert - but the hands of a gentleman...

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Brianna Bumpy Radio wrote: »

Women want to pee on things, men want free drinks.

We're simple creatures really aren't we. God maybe we should all swap!

Hector Savage wrote: »

Would just sit in front of a mirror and camera vigorously masturbating and playing with my tits.
Like real legs behind the ears stuff, no soft sh*te, I'm a f*cking pervert me !!!

Well I like to think of myself as having the eyes and mind of a pervert - but the hands of a gentleman...

I take it back! :pac:

harry Bailey esq

Brianna Bumpy Radio wrote: »

Women want to pee on things, men want free drinks.

We're simple creatures really aren't we. God maybe we should all swap!

Jaysus! that's some 'niche' stuff there. Unless yer in Hamburg, fairly vanilla by their standards..

SEPT 23 1989

If as men we woke up with a big pair of swingers would our balance not be all out of whack?

Cee-Jay-Cee

I’d play with my tits, check out my ass in a mirror, give the wee man in the boat a good seeing too and probably spend an hour or two in the shower washing my pussy. Then I’d dress in something skimpy and revealing and go and get laid a few times.

ToddyDoody

I suppose I'd go clothes shopping and determine my bra size etc.

lipso tokko

I'd pee standing up, i mean i'm a guy at the minute, but still...

Hector Savage

But on a serious note actually, it would be great to go out on the town and experience the dating game from the other side ..

PistolsAtDawn

JupiterKid wrote: »

So, let's say you went to sleep and - like the character Orlando in Virginia Woolf's book - you woke up as the opposite sex, and were that sex for a full week before reverting to the sex (not gender BTW) you were born with...

...what would you do? What feelings would you have?

I would identify as my previous gender therefore nothing would have changed.

hatrickpatrick

ToddyDoody wrote: »

I suppose I'd go clothes shopping and determine my bra size etc.

A female Boardsie might be able to confirm this, but one of my friends who's super into clothes and fashion once told me that a lot of women (can't remember if she implied a majority or just a large minority) probably don't have their bra size exactly right and suffer unnecessarily as a result. I think she mainly meant because one's body shape and size can change dramatically even just from one year to the next depending on what you're doing, but a lot of women only get properly / professionally "fitted" for a bra a few times in their lives. Could be rubbish, but she was a model and brand ambassador for a few lines of clothing so I presume she knows her stuff?

In fairness, lads are probably the same - I wonder how many of us are wearing ill-fitting underpants because we never bother revisiting what size we need. Not a problem if you're a boxers man, but if you're a Y-fronts / "ball stranglers" kind of lad, the latter nickname could easily become far too literal

764dak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pb7UGyWm0bs

dartboardio

Has anyone seen the new Black Mirror episode?

The guy gets a new video game, when you play it you kind of teleport into the game.

He plays as this fighter, fighting his best friend (in real life his best friend is a male) but in the game is a woman, they have sex like 50 times


One weird episode! But interesting

dartboardio

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

A female Boardsie might be able to confirm this, but one of my friends who's super into clothes and fashion once told me that a lot of women (can't remember if she implied a majority or just a large minority) probably don't have their bra size exactly right and suffer unnecessarily as a result. I think she mainly meant because one's body shape and size can change dramatically even just from one year to the next depending on what you're doing, but a lot of women only get properly / professionally "fitted" for a bra a few times in their lives. Could be rubbish, but she was a model and brand ambassador for a few lines of clothing so I presume she knows her stuff?

In fairness, lads are probably the same - I wonder how many of us are wearing ill-fitting underpants because we never bother revisiting what size we need. Not a problem if you're a boxers man, but if you're a Y-fronts / "ball stranglers" kind of lad, the latter nickname could easily become far too literal

Im a woman boardsie,

I can confirm most women probably have the wrong bra size yes, but we don't necessarily suffer for it, its nothing to do with us thinking our breasts are bigger, its more the fact that the majority of women/girls never got properly 'measured' or fitted as a teen like you do in a womens clothing store. So just wear the size we think fits best!

I am 21 and have never had my bra fitted 'professionally' like you should. I have never had pain of suffering as a result of it though.