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How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

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    #902
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    It's pretty much the same thing.

    This is the wrong attitude about women though.

    Like it's a game or complicated.

    It's not...


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    #903
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    This is the wrong attitude about women though.

    Like it's a game or complicated.

    It's not...

    I never said it was.

    Go over my post history, the re reg posts the ****e about PUA techniques not me.


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    #904
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    I never said it was.

    Go over my post history, the re reg posts the ****e about PUA techniques not me.

    Well you're saying women test you.

    I don't believe they do. Unless they think you're lying to them...?


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    #905
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,040 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Doctor Jimbob wrote: »
    Find someone else with a head like a smashed turnip. Simple.

    I'm half joking, but the fact some people seem to feel entitled to someone objectively more attractive than them is baffling.
    Are unattractive people attracted to other unattractive people or are the just settling?


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    #906
    CelticRambler
    Registered Users Posts: 6,703 ✭✭✭CelticRambler


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    Here's a scenario:

    Man is not fat. (This is important; lose weight if you're fat).

    He grows his hair long, and shaves the back and sides. Think Brad Pitt in Fury.

    Stubble.

    Casual suit jack (dark colour).

    T-shirt (dark colour).

    Jeans (dark colour).

    Converse or simple vans or sand boots.

    He looks good.

    Women will be attracted to him.

    Now he just needs to not be a weirdo.

    Therapy, proper socialisation, meditation, honesty.

    It's not rocket science.

    It might take 6 months, it might take 2 years, but it's 100% doable for almost every guy.
    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    Looks are super important, but you can control this too.

    Get fit and strong.

    Hairstyle.

    Good clothes.

    Good posture.

    You can even hire a photographer to take good photos of you.

    You have to make an effort.

    Feck's sake ... :eek:

    Sounds like way too much effort to put into "being yourself" ... but say yer man gets the boots and the casual jacket and watches a few videos on socialisation and meditation. How the feck is that going to help him if he's such a crap dancer that he ends up propping up the bar while all the women are wrapped around some guy in bare feet and a skirt made out of a bit of old curtain? ( And yeah, I'm talking about the guy wearing the skirt! :pac: )

    Because what you're describing is a "look" - essentially a costume - that's only appropriate for guys who are going out to a fleshfest somewhere in the hopes of having women chase after them. That's not at all what the OP or, I would argue, the majority of ordinary men, are looking for.


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    #907
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    Well you're saying women test you.

    I don't believe they do. Unless they think you're lying to them...?

    Have you ever been teased by a woman for something you where wearing or your height or whatever or some personal interest that she thought was a bit lame?

    That's testing, it's to see if you are secure in yourself. An insecure man will get offended and in a huff, a man completley comfortable in his own skin won't give a toss.

    Guess which one is the most attractive.


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    #908
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    CelticRambler wrote: »
    Feck's sake ... :eek:

    Sounds like way too much effort to put into "being yourself" ... but say yer man gets the boots and the casual jacket and watches a few videos on socialisation and meditation. How the feck is that going to help him if he's such a crap dancer that he ends up propping up the bar while all the women are wrapped around some guy in bare feet and a skirt made out of a bit of old curtain? ( And yeah, I'm talking about the guy wearing the skirt! :pac: )

    Because what you're describing is a "look" - essentially a costume - that's only appropriate for guys who are going out to a fleshfest somewhere in the hopes of having women chase after them. That's not at all what the OP or, I would argue, the majority of ordinary men, are looking for.

    I understand what you're saying.

    My angle is this:

    Men don't know how to dress. We don't consider our "style" to define us. So just dress well.

    Then make an effort to be the best you can be.


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    #909
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    Have you ever been teased by a woman for something you where wearing or your height or whatever or some personal interest that she thought was a bit lame?

    That's testing, it's to see if you are secure in yourself. An insecure man will get offended and in a huff, a man completley comfortable in his own skin won't give a toss.

    Guess which one is the most attractive.

    No, I've never been tested.


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    #910
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    No, I've never been tested.

    You've never been teased by women at all?

    Are you a married man?, does your wife ever tease you over stuff?


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    #911
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    You've never been teased by women at all?

    Are you a married man?, does your wife ever tease you over stuff?

    I'm married. Teasing and testing are totally different.

    Teasing is "I like you". Testing is... weird.


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    #912
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I'm married. Teasing and testing are totally different.

    Teasing is "I like you". Testing is... weird.

    Well OMM when your wife teases you the next time about something you are indeed being tested.


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    #913
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    Well OMM when your wife teases you the next time about something you are indeed being tested.

    That's not true.

    I feel like you don't understand women.


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    #914
    Infini
    Registered Users Posts: 4,573 ✭✭✭Infini


    Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »
    Thailand..and bring some money.

    Sure bring money they said, you'd get laid they said.... then suddenly...
    itsatrap.jpg


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    #915
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    That's not true.

    I feel like you don't understand women.

    Why do you think that's not true?

    To be honest I thought most men knew this.


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    #916
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    Why do you think that's not true?

    To be honest I thought most men knew this.

    I think it because I know it's not true.

    The only people who think this stuff don't understand women and have little experience with women.

    Women are not complicated at all.


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    #917
    dd973
    Registered Users Posts: 625 ✭✭✭dd973


    Two types of marriage, the first is a dumb luck encounter whereupon a mutual brain melt folie-a-deux occurs and they live happily ever after or split up 10/20 years down the line.

    The second type is usually a pact between a pair of usually horrible, cynical types who team up for the social kudos and to get what they want out of life as a duo.

    Statistically there probably is 'someone for everyone' but what if this person lives in Chile or New Zealand and you're never going to meet them?


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    #918
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    Well OMM when your wife teases you the next time about something you are indeed being tested.

    So when the missus is taking the piss out of me, it's actually part of some elaborate test of hers? She must be worn out testing me for the last two decades, considering she hasn't gotten anywhere with me...

    Honestly, what a load of poo...


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    #919
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    So when the missus is taking the piss out of me, it's actually part of some elaborate test of hers? She must be worn out testing me for the last two decades, considering she hasn't gotten anywhere with me...

    Honestly, what a load of poo...

    You must be a catch then.


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    #920
    Green Peter
    Registered Users Posts: 947 ✭✭✭Green Peter


    Tell them what they want to hear, easy peasey!


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    #921
    CelticRambler
    Registered Users Posts: 6,703 ✭✭✭CelticRambler


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I understand what you're saying.

    My angle is this:

    Men don't know how to dress. We don't consider our "style" to define us. So just dress well.

    Then make an effort to be the best you can be.

    But again, there's no simple definition of "dressing well" - or being "the best you can be".

    If you have a real interest in something - competitive sports, playing music, flying kites, making sculptures out of recycled car-parts, playing video-games, whatever, you will inevitably "be the best you can be" without someone needing to tell you. If you have to be told, then as Wibbs said, you're a target for any snake-oil salesman.

    The "dressing well" side of things depends entirely on context. Most of us probably go to more places and activities where you'd be a laughing stock if you turned up in an Armani suit and Versace shoes. Unless you're out on the town looking to pull a bird for a one-night-stand, chances are you won't need to "dress well" until you've already made a connection with someone because of a shared interest. There are plenty of couples who meet at work or in a similar environment where their dresscode is defined by some outside force.


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    #922
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Elisa Warm Ball wrote: »
    Change about three nouns, leave the general content and tone as it is and you've got you some David Attenborough voiceover right there.

    I'm picturing...lizards or some kind of vole.

    I thought it would be Sliders with all the phasing going on


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    #923
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »

    You must be a catch then.

    Ah, sure I'm fantastic.

    Seriously, after twenty years together, what's she going to testing me about when she's teasing me considering we've probably taken the piss out of each other at some point nearly every day since we've known each other.


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    #924
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I think it because I know it's not true.

    The only people who think this stuff don't understand women and have little experience with women.

    Women are not complicated at all.

    Ah here, cut the bull, women test men all the time; your wife does it with you I can guarantee, my exes did, pretty much every woman does.

    Again, there is nothing sinister about it, it's fairly natural, a woman wants to make sure you're the same fella as when ye first met and that your not some wallflower or overly sensitive.

    And on that; the courtship never ends you'd want to be keeping it fresh and exciting as much as possible.

    Woman are not complicated but they are different to men, again fairly obvious and natural.


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    #925
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    CelticRambler wrote: »
    But again, there's no simple definition of "dressing well" - or being "the best you can be".

    If you have a real interest in something - competitive sports, playing music, flying kites, making sculptures out of recycled car-parts, playing video-games, whatever, you will inevitably "be the best you can be" without someone needing to tell you. If you have to be told, then as Wibbs said, you're a target for any snake-oil salesman.

    The "dressing well" side of things depends entirely on context. Most of us probably go to more places and activities where you'd be a laughing stock if you turned up in an Armani suit and Versace shoes. Unless you're out on the town looking to pull a bird for a one-night-stand, chances are you won't need to "dress well" until you've already made a connection with someone because of a shared interest. There are plenty of couples who meet at work or in a similar environment where their dresscode is defined by some outside force.

    Dressing well doesn't mean showing up for the local GAA game in an Armani suit.

    I said this in a post many pages back: ask your female friends for help when it comes to your clothes.

    I understand many people on boards are nerdy or awkward or on the spectrum, so this stuff may seem difficult (e.g. black and white thinking: looking well means wearing a suit), but you can do this.

    Wear dark coloured clothes.

    Wear clothes which fit you.

    Wear shoes not trainers. Or wear a very limited range or trainers (simple Vans, black Converse).

    That's basically it.

    Think Keanu Reeves. You won't go wrong with this style.


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    #926
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    im gonna drop a bomb here

    different women like different things

    dont @ me


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    #927
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    Ah, sure I'm fantastic.

    Seriously, after twenty years together, what's she going to testing me about when she's teasing me considering we've probably taken the piss out of each other at some point nearly every day since we've known each other.

    I was being serious with that comment by the way.

    It more or less answers your question.


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    #928
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    Ah here, cut the bull, women test men all the time; your wife does it with you I can guarantee, my exes did, pretty much every woman does.

    Again, there is nothing sinister about it, it's fairly natural, a woman wants to make sure you're the same fella as when ye first met and that your not some wallflower or overly sensitive.

    And on that; the courtship never ends you'd want to be keeping it fresh and exciting as much as possible.

    Woman are not complicated but they are different to men, again fairly obvious and natural.

    Women don't test men unless they (the men) are liars or fake.

    You're wrong and you need to change your mentality on this.

    I say this with kindness.


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    #929
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    Deleted User wrote: »
    im gonna drop a bomb here

    different women like different things

    dont @ me

    Nope, you're dead right.


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    #930
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Deleted User wrote: »
    im gonna drop a bomb here

    different women like different things

    dont @ me

    Obviously, but we're not being autistic, we're generalising.


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    #931
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    Women don't test men unless they (the men) are liars or fake.

    You're wrong and you need to change your mentality on this.

    I say this with kindness.

    Someone is WRONG on the internet eh?

    You're entitled to your opinion as I am to mine.


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