How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

I fully understand why our own Ancapailldorcha has asked to get away from this whole PUA thing(never mind that it attracts the reregs like flies to poo), but too many men are getting into this stuff, with a few going right down the rabbit hole and guys need to be warned to put on their cynicism hats.

Now if a bloke looking to up his chances - and I'd reckon in 90% of cases said blokes just want a girlfriend, not to become whoremasters - watches these vids on youtube, be 100% aware they are adverts. Adverts for "systems" these shillers want to sell to you.

They usually take the approach of email spam. Fire out dozens of these vids hoping a percentage will stick. They get the guys in by promising "free" advice. Though almost always there's a twist of you should buy their e-book, sign up for some subscription, even sign up for so called boot camps where you can learn to BangSuperModelsOnTheStreet™ or whatever. A few use well tried out marketing techniques designed to make guys feel like some secret group who know the Secret™. These are tremendously effective hooks for lonely guys. Some get into it to the point of obsession. QV our rereg guys who sign up daily to this site and others. And these chancers with the bigger setups can make a pretty penny from it(or did as the market seems swamped now).

Note that the more established companies nearly always tell men that looks don't really matter, neither does money, or height etc, but personality and attitude and with their Course of Power Dynamics™ or whatever, you'll be able to get the women you want. This is utter bollocks. Of course they say this as the men with looks, money and height are generally not concerned about this stuff. If looks didn't matter then why do the vast majority of couples match in objective physical attractiveness? We're not talking about fat billionaires with blonde dolly birds half their age waiting for them to tap out for the will, we're talking about ordinary people. Now no doubt a few men - and it's almost always men - will chime in and say their girlfriend is way out of their league, but I will bet the farm that if you asked random men and women they'd rate them the same or damned close to it. There have been a lot of studies done on this down the years that back this up. Looking back on my own relationship history, though at the time I thought they were the most gorgeous women on earth and they were to me, objectively they were about the same level as me. With one exception who was a peg above me, but she had more screws loose than a Mongolian made scooter in an earthquake, so..

Thats another thing with these chancers, a large number of these pickup bullshit artists are objectively OK, physically attractive, even some good looking men. Men can be often very bad at judging physical attractiveness in other men so don't spot this. Example. After I had a quick google on the phenomenon, though there were plenty of small scale books before on how to pick up girls(How to win friends and influence people was a major best seller along the same lines), the current crop came out of a group of guys in the early noughties who as young lads often will went out to clubs and tried to stand out from the crowd. The more geeky of them decided to see if there was a technique that would add to a guys chances and off it went. Now back then they were doing stuff like wearing purple hats and yellow pants to stand out, but one of their leaders was a guy nicknamed Mystery. All daft pants and hats. This is him minus all that stuff.



He is an objectively physically attractive man. He was also very tall(I presume he still is..). Quite the number of these chancers are similar, though usually not obviously "handsome" as far as many men think that is.

Then they may show videos of their Technique3000™ on the street or in the club. Many of these have been shown to be fakes using actresses. Not a shock. Or encounters that were nothing to do with romance or getting a date. Hell, I could get someone to video me in Paris or wherever, pretending to be an Irish tourist asking some good looking woman for directions. Most people are polite and generally like having a chat, particularly if it's someone out of the ordinary, mute the sound to "preserve her privacy"(and cover what's actually going on) have a bit of a laugh with her and the video could look like I was going great guns. Try this say twenty times in a day and I'm 100% certain I could get a set of "pickup" videos that would have a load of lads thinking my "system" worked.

Now some of this stuff does work with women. Some women, a minority. The honest guys in the game will tell people their spiel works with maybe 1-50 or 1-100. Even the most threadbare net will catch a fish if you cast it wide enough.

TL;DR? While there is some truth in what they may say, said truth is heavily preselected on the women it works for, but the vast majority of their spiel is a sales pitch to buy into their bullsh1t and give them money. Buyer beware. Now it can easily be argued many men do need some guidance, but this really isn't it.