Do looks matter in life?

Censored11 · 25-04-2019 08:01PM

Wibbs wrote: »

This seems to be a fairly consistent refrain in such threads and debates. I don't get it. OK if you're 70 or something, but if you stay slim and healthy, don't look like your face got slapped with a shovel in childhood and you haven't the kind of babyface that goes off the boil by 20, your looks at 30, 40, even up to 60 don't shift .

My favourite member on boards Wibbs has given me hope!
Im 40s and bald so feel like Im past it. Was a ride in my teens & twenties though

paleoperson · 25-04-2019 08:06PM

OldMrBrennan83 wrote: »

They're really all that matters. Better looking people will always be treated better by people in general and will be pushed upwards easier in the workplace.

Absolute rubbish. Everyone who thanked this post is DUMB.

mad muffin · 25-04-2019 08:16PM

I’ve been skating on my good looks for most of my life…

rgodard80a · 25-04-2019 08:16PM

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Apart from advantages in getting sex/relationships, do you think there are practical benefits in getting a job interview, getting free meals etc..

"Free stuff" sounds more like in the female domain.. no offense intended.

I'd imagine women learn fairly fast there's no such thing as a free lunch and would learn from bad experiences about leading men on.
Also, I imagine most women would feel threatened/bitchy about attractive women unless they were really down to earth.
So I'd say personality has to be coupled with this.
I've read that attractive women can actually be quite lonely, where other women will be bitchy against them and men can be intimidated by them.
Maybe that's where the gay male friends come in.

The big payoff to attractiveness is always having the pick of the opposite sex, again depending on personality and status/earning power. Being the alpha male/female is a natural instinct but you have to expect people pecking at your status.

So looks alone won't get you everything, social skills and not rubbing peoples noses in it/being humble really nails it.

rossie1977 · 25-04-2019 08:25PM

Name someone ugly in a leading role on TV or the movies. Do you think Emilia Clarke or Kit Harrington get their roles in Game of Thrones if they are ugly?

noubliezjamais · 25-04-2019 08:26PM

rgodard80a wrote: »

"Free stuff" sounds more like in the female domain.. no offense intended.

Maybe that's where the gay male friends come in.

.

I think this tends to be false in Ireland. The "girls have a best gay male friend". It seems that in general, friendships are more strictly segregated by gender in Ireland than other nations.

punt mor · 25-04-2019 08:30PM

the better you look, the more you see...

pgj2015 · 25-04-2019 08:32PM

they matter to stupid people. i have been asked out by a couple of good looking women in the last couple of years but i could tell from talking to them that they weren't genuine, i told them i wasn't looking to see anyone. one of them straight out asked me what i earned.

a friend of mine was always obsessed by looks, he is with a good looking girl now but by all accounts shes not a very nice person.

mikemac2 · 25-04-2019 08:37PM

rossie1977 wrote: »

Name someone ugly in a leading role on TV or the movies. Do you think Emilia Clarke or Kit Harrington get their roles in Game of Thrones if they are ugly?

Steve Buscemi has had a successful and highly paid career on TV and film

Roger Hassenforder · 25-04-2019 08:47PM

mikemac2 wrote: »

Steve Buscemi has had a successful and highly paid career on TV and film

He was kinda funny looking

paleoperson · 25-04-2019 09:01PM

mikemac2 wrote: »

Steve Buscemi has had a successful and highly paid career on TV and film

Sylvestor Stallone, Danny Devito, Lena Headey, Maisie Williams, Sean Bean (good-looking in youth but not by the time he's in GoT). Jack Nicholson. Jack Black. Bruce Willis as he gets older. Daniel Craig is immensely ugly. People don't like guys that are too good-looking.

Looks literally don't matter unless you're playing the good-looking guy. It's all in your head.

noubliezjamais · 25-04-2019 09:13PM

pgj2015 wrote: »

they matter to stupid people. i have been asked out by a couple of good looking women in the last couple of years but i could tell from talking to them that they weren't genuine, i told them i wasn't looking to see anyone. one of them straight out asked me what i earned.

a friend of mine was always obsessed by looks, he is with a good looking girl now but by all accounts shes not a very nice person.

What do you mean by genuine.

Are you good looking yourself?

You know the trop of "hot girl with bad personality" I've found isn't true. In fact, It seems to me that the hottest girls I've met were confident. I was at a grinds and this hot columbian/irish girl just sat next to me and chatted to me and she said cause I looked lonely. In fairness, she did have an issue with race (said I was a weird black guy) but apart from that, she seemed chatty and nice.

In contrast, I've found the less attractive a girl, the less confident. Now don't get me wrong, being nice and confident aren't mutually exclusive but you know...

Teddy Daniels · 25-04-2019 09:24PM

paleoperson wrote: »

Sylvestor Stallone, Danny Devito, Lena Headey, Maisie Williams, Sean Bean (good-looking in youth but not by the time he's in GoT). Jack Nicholson. Jack Black. Bruce Willis as he gets older. Daniel Craig is immensely ugly. People don't like guys that are too good-looking.

Looks literally don't matter unless you're playing the good-looking guy. It's all in your head.

Lol whut?

paleoperson · 25-04-2019 10:05PM

Teddy Daniels wrote: »

Lol whut?

ah come on, you can do better than that.

Neames · 25-04-2019 10:11PM

I'll say one thing about good looking people.

We're not well liked.

Church on Tuesday · 25-04-2019 10:21PM

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Apart from advantages in getting sex/relationships, do you think there are practical benefits in getting a job interview, getting free meals etc..

One of my female friends said she got a free taxi ride in Canada and told the driver beforehand that she didn't have money. "pussy pass" as they call it. If that were a man, would it have happened. probably not.

Taxi man's a bigger fool.

marto501 · 25-04-2019 10:47PM

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Taxi man's a bigger fool.

Or maybe just maybe he was a decent guy who didn’t like the idea of a young woman being left to find her own way home without any money.

pgj2015 · 25-04-2019 10:57PM

noubliezjamais wrote: »

What do you mean by genuine.

Are you good looking yourself?

You know the trop of "hot girl with bad personality" I've found isn't true. In fact, It seems to me that the hottest girls I've met were confident. I was at a grinds and this hot columbian/irish girl just sat next to me and chatted to me and she said cause I looked lonely. In fairness, she did have an issue with race (said I was a weird black guy) but apart from that, she seemed chatty and nice.

In contrast, I've found the less attractive a girl, the less confident. Now don't get me wrong, being nice and confident aren't mutually exclusive but you know...

genuine women who like you for you not what they can get out of you.

i get told i'm good looking a bit so id say i'm not too bad.

i'm not saying all good looking women have bad personalities, i was just saying that i run a mile from women if i get the vibe off them that they are fake and not a nice person. i would rather an average looking woman who is genuine than a model who isn't a nice person.

Dash_Of_Red · 25-04-2019 11:07PM

Censored11 wrote: »

Looks do matter. Use them while u have them, because they don't last.

True. Also there's a big tendency amongst people to figure out their biggest asset and flaw and then focus on both. If looks are your positive and then they fade it can end up leading to you chasing your tail.
You will end up miserable. But if you have X Y Z going for you anyway then being good looking is a lovely bonus to have.

Gimme A Pound · 25-04-2019 11:14PM

noubliezjamais wrote: »

One of my female friends said she got a free taxi ride in Canada and told the driver beforehand that she didn't have money. "pussy pass" as they call it. If that were a man, would it have happened. probably not.

Such a thing wouldn't exist if the men stupid enough to entertain it didn't do so.

jobbridge4life wrote: »

Looks matter, smarts matter, money matters, charm matters, humour matters. These are all skills/resources to be exploited. It works just as well for men as women.

In terms of sex, sex with women humour is more important really than looks. Sex with men, humour still helps, but body is more important.

What?

paleoperson wrote: »

Absolute rubbish. Everyone who thanked this post is DUMB.

I agree that he's being extremely simplistic when he says looks are the only thing that matter, however I disagree with your other post where you say looks don't matter and it's all in people's head. There are definitely areas where being good-looking gives people an advantage, not just the obvious sexual attraction side of things - I don't think it's always even conscious. It does make a difference in terms of how people react to you (me out for a run, then buying milk on the way back - versus me dressed up Saturday evening and popping into the same shop for a bottle of wine; shur the guys at the tills acted completely differently towards me) and for jobs it's going to make a difference too. Take two people with the exact same training and experience - one is good-looking, the other isn't... Image is hugely important in many areas whether we like it or not. But I agree that looks aren't absolutely everything, and they alone won't help a person to get ahead. But they can help.

I agree with you there are plenty of successful actors who win major roles and who aren't beautiful, because film and TV characters aren't always beautiful, but different story for other areas of entertainment. I disagree too that Daniel Craig is extremely ugly - he may not be traditionally "hunky" but he's far from ugly! Ditto Lena Headey. Sly was all right looking in the Rocky/Rambo days.

Church on Tuesday · 25-04-2019 11:23PM

marto501 wrote: »

Or maybe just maybe he was a decent guy who didn’t like the idea of a young woman being left to find her own way home without any money.

I highly doubt she was on her own.

But yeah, most men are decent, although in this case I highly suspect Mr. Taxi Man wouldn't have been so accommodating if the lady in question was, shall we say, plain.

Wibbs · 25-04-2019 11:28PM

noubliezjamais wrote: »

You know the trop of "hot girl with bad personality" I've found isn't true.

Yep and another trope in this is the idea that there's somehow a choice between looks and personality. One or the other. Which is daft. And TBH I've heard it more from the more plain guys and gals(mostly guys). Why shouldn't one look for both? And both most certainly exist.

Gimme A Pound · 25-04-2019 11:36PM

Nikki Sixx wrote: »

I just wanted to ask the following without derailing the thread. Are funny people only funny because they are fat or not attractive? If a funny person overcompensating for their lack of looks? Does an attractive person not have to try to be funny?

Possibly in some cases, but being funny is something you need to be gifted with, so good looking people can be funny too. It's something people have to work on though, to get funnier. Maybe the less hot folk do more work on it.

Wibbs wrote: »

This seems to be a fairly consistent refrain in such threads and debates. I don't get it. OK if you're 70 or something, but if you stay slim and healthy, don't look like your face got slapped with a shovel in childhood and you haven't the kind of babyface that goes off the boil by 20, your looks at 30, 40, even up to 60 don't shift that much. A good looking 20 year old is still going to be a good looking 40 year old. So you've a few decades before you should be reaching for the elasticated sweatpants and giving up. Goes double for men. Other than going bald(which can be worked around) they don't have the hormonal shifts or pregnancy or thinner skin and more fat tissue of women, so have far fewer excuses to "fade".

Yeah, friend of a friend was out with a group of us recently. In her 40s and just out of a relationship - she was getting chatted up all over the shop and got two phone numbers. She was absolutely astounded. Now her humility was genuine and endearing, but at the same time, I was struck by just how shocked she was. Why the shock? She's an extremely good-looking, intelligent woman.

I think we've been conditioned to feel more sh1t about ourselves than we should, due to ageing. Shur even people in their 20s imagine their looks are deteriorating. Maybe it's because life expectancy was way way lower not long ago at all in the greater scheme of things, and our psyche hasn't caught up yet. Of course you need to look after yourself as you say, and when you're actually elderly your looks will fade, but people can be hard on themselves (and others!) way too early.

Nermal · 26-04-2019 12:02AM

paleoperson wrote: »

Sylvestor Stallone, Danny Devito, Lena Headey, Maisie Williams, Sean Bean (good-looking in youth but not by the time he's in GoT). Jack Nicholson. Jack Black. Bruce Willis as he gets older. Daniel Craig is immensely ugly. People don't like guys that are too good-looking.

Looks literally don't matter unless you're playing the good-looking guy. It's all in your head.

Jesus. You're talking about TV-ugly, not ugly ugly.

greencap · 26-04-2019 12:29AM

Looks matter immensely.

one practical reason why; if you're not good looking you'll spend time and effort thinking and strategizing and figuring out how to get the girl/guy, what you need to do to look better, how you should diet, which gym you should join, what exercises.

and so forth, to get around this obstacle.

good looking people just walk right in.

in the words of the suede song 'the beautiful ones'.

'you don't think about it, you don't do without it, because you're beautiful'.

what that means is that if you haven't spent time thinking about the perfect chat up line, or clothes to wear, and other various bullsht, then you've had that time to think about other pertinent things in your life.

greencap · 26-04-2019 12:38AM

LessOutragePlz wrote: »

Looks catch the eye but personality catches the heart.

yeah, great.

poisonated · 26-04-2019 12:46AM

rossie1977 wrote: »

Name someone ugly in a leading role on TV or the movies. Do you think Emilia Clarke or Kit Harrington get their roles in Game of Thrones if they are ugly?

Ricky gervais in the office imo

wakka12 · 26-04-2019 12:46AM

Yeh , undoubtedly. Im surprised theres a single adult in the world who thinks they dont matter, at least even a bit.

Personality matters a lot obviously, and I know people often say it matters more, maybe to make themselves feel better because it seems more 'attainable' to develop an attractive personality than an attracitve face. But I really think your personality is almost an unchangeable as your looks. I think youre ****ed if youre not smart/funny or good looking, you need to be one of those 3 in life to get by..

poisonated · 26-04-2019 12:54AM

Looks do matter and I have been known to be good looking but have let myself go in the last couple of years. Too many takeaways haha.

Mike9832 · 26-04-2019 01:05AM

Cryptopagan wrote: »

It’s very clear from politics that looks and success go hand in hand. The likes of Merkel, Trump, Enda Kenny are exceedingly beautiful and it has helped them rise to the top.

Exactly

Looks no

Money yes

Do looks matter in life?

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