Is it okay to approach a woman and compliment her?

29-03-2019 09:43PM

Purple Mountain wrote:

No. Its creepy.

Yeah it's so gross. Imagine finding someone attractive and wanting to have sex with them without first finding out their preferred pronoun or their identity.

Creepy.

And then imagine complimenting them on their physical appearance? Do they not know that some people are blind? Check their privilege.

Or ya know, say hi I think you're pretty,please don't sue me

Zorya · 29-03-2019 09:59PM

Surprised at the amount of people who find a random compliment creepy. I have never found it to be so, if it is just a simple friendly remark offered without any weirdness to follow it up.
I often compliment unknown people on how nice they look, all women to be fair, like at the checkout or something. Okay, I'd be a bit shy to say it to a man, but that's just me and I might even say it to a male someone to cheer them up if I felt really inspired. But a random stranger just giving me a smile and a compliment is not horrible - if one lived in Italy it would be de rigueur for goodness sake

Perhaps what's missing are pistol fingers. When giving a lady a compliment in passing adopt a relaxed stance or walk and give them the pistol fingers while saying ''Looking Gooooood!!''. They will laugh. If they don't they have no human soul.

GMSA · 29-03-2019 10:38PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DyWJ71-6QQ

Edgware · 29-03-2019 10:38PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Yeah it's so gross. Imagine finding someone attractive and wanting to have sex with them without first finding out their preferred pronoun or their identity.

Creepy.

And then imagine complimenting them on their physical appearance? Do they not know that some people are blind? Check their privilege.

Or ya know, say hi I think you're pretty,please don't sue me

Say something simple like " does this handkerchief smell of chloroform? "

purplecow1977 · 29-03-2019 10:46PM

Edgware wrote: »

Say something simple like " does this handkerchief smell of chloroform? "

She'll never suspect a thing!

Paddy Cow · 29-03-2019 10:57PM

This might help you op.

mfceiling · 29-03-2019 11:00PM

Fairly hard one to call. I saw a lady in a coffee shop last Friday and she was lovely (dressed and looking). I felt like saying to her "your dress is lovely" but I thought against it. Pity because she was very pretty and her outfit was lovely and it was merely an observation on my part.

Frank O. Pinion · 29-03-2019 11:26PM

Only in Ireland is this still considered "creepy".

Panthro · 29-03-2019 11:30PM

Lesson 1.
Compliment followed by a question.

Straight from the Panthro Playbook. ©

blackcard · 29-03-2019 11:32PM

There are many females of a certain age who would love someone to come up to them and tell them they are pretty. Or to have someone wolf whistle at them one more time

Pawwed Rig · 29-03-2019 11:50PM

Panthro wrote: »

Lesson 1.
Compliment followed by a question.

You're lovely. Do you want to see my new socks?

Pretty Polky · 29-03-2019 11:54PM

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

You're lovely. Do you want to see my new socks?

You have lovely hair.

Do your curtains match your carpet?

/get out clause *interior designer*

Panthro · 30-03-2019 12:10AM

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

You're lovely. Do you want to see my new socks?

Haha, you're catching on pretty quick, good job!

Now tell my more about these socks, are they in fact amaze balls?!

Wibbs · 30-03-2019 12:18AM

Paddy Cow wrote: »

This might help you op.

That's kinda scary that this stuff needs to be spelled out. :eek:

branie2 · 30-03-2019 12:42AM

If you know her, you should

Three More Big Sleeps · 30-03-2019 12:57AM

NSAman wrote: »

Oh Look...... that van stopped, lots of men in white coats are hauling him away...

With all due respect, it'd appear you're doubting jimbob's experience? Why?

Actually, this thread has raised all sorts of tangential replies which fly in the face of the "have a ****" replies.

I'm nearly fifty years old, divorced and emotionally heartbroken. I can't speak for my generation, but POF or Tinder just doesn't appeal. Nevermind that there is no way *whatsoever* that I'm looking for a relationship of any kind. Too broken.

But let me tell you this:

I'm neither staggeringly handsome nor offensively ugly. I've an approachable face if anything.

And there is nothing better than randomly striking up a conversation - no "you're pretty" required - with a stranger and making them laugh. Laugh 'til there're tears of glee and a tummy ache.

*That*, IMHO, is a great night.

mlumley · 30-03-2019 01:14AM

Never mind the snowflakes, how is she gonna know if your interested in her.
I go by the maxim of, a woman will forgive you for trying to kiss her, but will never forgive you for not trying. But, always remember, no means NO

AllForIt · 30-03-2019 01:36AM

In this current era of heterosexual consent I have realized that in my life as a homosexual there has transpired an advantage in life to being homosexual, for the first time ever. That is, that there is none of this bull**** going on in the gay relations society.

Someone pats your ass in a gay bar you just walk away or glare at them if your not interested. If you are interested you wouldn't mind it at all. Not that pulling in gay clubs is ordinarily that crude. Well, sometimes it is in clubs when ppl are off their head but that's no different from Coppers.

I really feel for you young hetro guys these days. Your screwed if don't record the evenings events. I'm serious about this, what's going in is just ridiculous.

sk8erboii · 30-03-2019 02:00AM

noubliezjamais wrote: »

As a young guy, I wonder if it's ever okay to approach a similar young girl of college age and give her some compliments (i.e. you're pretty) along with small talk.

I'm confused because on one had you have people on the internet that say most women will love the confidence that comes with approaching them but on the other hand you have people saying it's harassment and rude.

‘Confidence’ means not being creepy. Christ this is basic. Just be attractive.

Ultimate Seduction · 30-03-2019 02:02AM

sk8erboii wrote: »

‘Confidence’ means not being creepy. Christ this is basic. Just be attractive.

Just be attractive

Great advice.

sk8erboii · 30-03-2019 02:05AM

Ultimate Seduction wrote: »

Just be attractive

Great advice.

Yes. Being attractive is a social skill. Grooming, diction and presentability are signs of intelligence and viability as a partner.

Nobody really wants to engage an overweight slob. But someone who goes to the gym shows self care, which is attractive.

What OP is actually saying is:

‘Wtf? I actually have to put effort to get people to like me?’

Its actually kinda pathetic so many people here dont get this.

Always Tired · 30-03-2019 02:25AM

noubliezjamais wrote: »

As a young guy, I wonder if it's ever okay to approach a similar young girl of college age and give her some compliments (i.e. you're pretty) along with small talk.

I'm confused because on one had you have people on the internet that say most women will love the confidence that comes with approaching them but on the other hand you have people saying it's harassment and rude.

In short, no.

If you approach a woman don't start giving her compliments. There are multiple reasons why you shouldn't. The fact that you think like, 'Duh, why wouldn't she want to be complimented on her looks?' suggests you still have quite a lot to learn about how to talk to women. If you start randomly talking to a woman you don't know, do you honestly think she doesn't immediately know what your motivation is? Do you think it's the first time it's ever happened to her? Going in hot with the compliments on top of that you're more likely to get pepper sprayed than get her number.

I know it can seem hard to meet someone at times but this is not the way.

Edgware · 30-03-2019 07:12AM

A compliment like "your hair smells lovely" is fine as long as you are not a dwarf

30-03-2019 07:23AM

ceadaoin. wrote: »

For people saying they've done this and the girl wasn't annoyed or weirded out, well that's because even if she is she isn't going to say anything a lot of the time because she's liable to get abuse then , "stuck up bitch" or similar. Much better to smile, say thanks and hope they disappear tbh. That's what I do.

It is weird and slightly creepy to me. And I'm talking about when it happens somewhere completely unexpected like just walking down the street or in a shop , not somewhere you could reasonably expect to be hit on like a bar/event or whatever.

Sounds like some people cant handle normal human interaction and are basically trying to ruin it for everyone else.

M.T. Cranium · 30-03-2019 07:43AM

Somebody try it and get back to us, after your release that is.

jimbobaloobob · 30-03-2019 08:08AM

Has it become that socially unacceptable to compliment someone ?

Henry Ford III · 30-03-2019 08:11AM

I think it's ok if it can be done very subtly.

Edgware · 30-03-2019 08:17AM

Henry Ford III wrote: »

I think it's ok if it can be done very subtly.

"very subtly"
As in "for a fat girl you don't sweat much"

fash · 30-03-2019 08:17AM

Always Tired wrote: »

In short, no.

If you approach a woman don't start giving her compliments. There are multiple reasons why you shouldn't. The fact that you think like, 'Duh, why wouldn't she want to be complimented on her looks?' suggests you still have quite a lot to learn about how to talk to women. If you start randomly talking to a woman you don't know, do you honestly think she doesn't immediately know what your motivation is? Do you think it's the first time it's ever happened to her? Going in hot with the compliments on top of that you're more likely to get pepper sprayed than get her number.

I know it can seem hard to meet someone at times but this is not the way.

Other thing about any compliment is that if it is misused, it comes off as very needy and socially awkward:
"You are so beautiful"...
Awkward silence- who is supposed to respond? Are you expecting the complimentee to say "thanks"? To say "you are too"? To respond positively?
If you are ever giving a compliment in any early (potential) relationship, you should at least give the poor complimentee a non-awkward social escape route:
" You are so beautiful - wait is that a squirrel" (only being slightly facetious about the squirrel- but you should get the idea).

That way you are not communicating to them : "I gave you a compliment, now what will you do for me"

Edit to add: the "squirrel" here is not some insult to the person- it is meant to be a "squirrel running about somewhere in the background that has now for my attention" - an "I've already moved onto the next topic". It allows the complimentee to ignore the compliment and talk about the squirrel ("no I thought it was a cat") - or if the complimentee is actually interested/flattered they can pick up on the compliment.

Edgware · 30-03-2019 08:19AM

fash wrote: »

Other thing about any compliment is that if it is misused, it comes off as very needy and socially awkward:
"You are so beautiful"...
Awkward silence- who is supposed to respond? Are you expecting the complimentee to say "thanks"? To say "you are too"? To respond positively?
If you are ever giving a compliment in any early (potential) relationship, you should at least give the poor complimentee a non-awkward social escape route:
" You are so beautiful - wait is that a squirrel" (only being slightly facetious about the squirrel- but you should get the idea).

That way you are not communicating to them : "I gave you a compliment, now what will you do for me"

If you mention squirrel don't ask if he's looking for nuts

Is it okay to approach a woman and compliment her?

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