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Is it okay to approach a woman and compliment her?

24

Comments

  • #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,740 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    It does depend on your approach OP but it's not creepy. It's sad that we live in an age when a compliment is seen as creepy.


  • #33
    WinnyThePoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,417 ✭✭✭WinnyThePoo


    Go for it. Don't be disappointed if nothing comes of it... That's life... But you might get along and bag a date.

    All you can do is try.


  • #34
    Day Lewin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,039 ✭✭✭Day Lewin


    Cripes, I love compliments. I don't get so many that I can afford to be disdainful.

    Sure, if a complete stranger approached me directly with a "you're pretty" as his opening line, I would certainly question his motives: but I would still laugh it off "Ha ha, thanks, and p1ss off, sweet talker!"

    I mean, I can see through a guy's intentions; but I can still enjoy a free compliment and not feel threatened by it.

    OP: if you want to get to know a girl, start a polite conversation, before throwing in your billets-doux.
    If you just want to get your pole greased, stick to Tinder and the vast world of imaginary romance.


  • #35
    Strumms
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,190 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    Put the shoe on the other foot...if you were in the library and some girl, good looking or otherwise approached you, out of the blue whom was not known to you and said....” I’ve spent some time looking at you and I really like your eyebrows”... rather then be all swapping numbers you’d be in WTF mode. Far too direct, by all means attempt to start a conversation about whatever situation has you both in the same location but I’d hold off on compliments until the 2nd or 3rd stalk..sorry conversation.


  • #36
    rgodard80a
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 562 ✭✭✭rgodard80a


    ceadaoin. wrote: »
    It's creepy for a guy to walk up to a girl at college who is a complete stranger and complement her. I don't know why people think it makes a difference if he is good looking. It doesnt. Still creepy

    In fairness, in a college environment, especially in the college pub/locals, it's a lot easier to strike up a conversation about the college, courses, exams etc.

    The slightly creepy way the OP put it was "similar young girl of college age", which doesn't necessarily imply either of them are in college, or the same college.
    Just kind of implies "she's legal".


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  • #37
    Thoie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,340 ✭✭✭Thoie


    Starting off with a compliment to a complete stranger is a bit weird, particularly a personal remark about their own looks. However there's nothing wrong with striking up a conversation.

    The main thing is to learn how to recognise and accept whatever response you get, which can fall under the following headings:
    1. They tell you, subtly, or unsubtly, to **** off. The correct response there is to apologise for having bothered them, walk away, and don't think about it any further. Don't beat yourself up, don't question yourself, just put it out of your mind. It's not a personal rejection.

    2. They make some small talk, but give really short answers, are looking around a lot, keep checking their phone/book, not making much eye contact. In that case they're trying to be polite, but are not really interested in talking to you, and are hoping you'll leave. Do so, graciously. "It was nice to meet you, maybe I'll see you around". Walk away, don't think about them any further.

    3. They make small talk, expand on their answers, ask you questions in return, and seem interested in the responses. They make eye contact, and are not checking their phone constantly, are not looking around for "an escape route". Keep chatting for a while, but after a few minutes, back off gently. "I'm must head off, dying for a coffee". At that point they might also decide they want a coffee, or they need to get back to the library, go to their next lecture, meet a friend. If they don't suggest going for coffee with you, tell them it was nice to meet them, and you hope to see them around again. The ball is in her court then, she might suggest something, she mightn't, but next time you see her, you can resume the conversation. Always be on the look out for the signs from #2 though, and step back.


  • #38
    noubliezjamais
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 253 ✭✭noubliezjamais


    ancapailldorcha wrote: »
    Why do you have the European Patent Office as a signature?

    Why not? I got an interest in them during 2013.


  • #39
    Signore Fancy Pants
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,703 ✭✭✭Signore Fancy Pants


    noubliezjamais wrote: »
    Why not? I got an interest in them during 2013.

    Did you approach and compliment them too?


  • #40
    ancapailldorcha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45,448 ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    noubliezjamais wrote: »
    Why not? I got an interest in them during 2013.

    A bit random. That's all.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



  • #41
    Pawwed Rig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,502 ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Dale Doback wrote: »
    Did you approach and compliment them too?

    They got a restraining order


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  • #42
    bessboroughboy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 104 ✭✭bessboroughboy


    Ask her does she know anything about carburettors?

    If she's surprised, ask her if it would have been sexist to assume she didn't

    If she asks why, tell her you've always found them fascinating

    If she does, tell her you're burning rich

    If she's offended, tell her you're relieved as you really only wanted to compliment her

    If she laughs, tell her your name


  • #43
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,129 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    For people saying they've done this and the girl wasn't annoyed or weirded out, well that's because even if she is she isn't going to say anything a lot of the time because she's liable to get abuse then , "stuck up bitch" or similar. Much better to smile, say thanks and hope they disappear tbh. That's what I do.

    It is weird and slightly creepy to me. And I'm talking about when it happens somewhere completely unexpected like just walking down the street or in a shop , not somewhere you could reasonably expect to be hit on like a bar/event or whatever.


  • #44
    NSAman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,497 ✭✭✭NSAman


    Always found its best to insult ladies first.... it makes anything "nice" you say all the more appreciated..;)


  • #45
    blackcard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,569 ✭✭✭blackcard


    Dale Doback wrote: »
    As a woman, I love it when guys come up and tell me im pretty.

    Do it OP.

    I also love it when lads say I remind them of their mam. Thats guaranteed finger bang time!
    My mam, when she was young, used to love strangers coming up to her and saying she was pretty. You remind me of her


  • #46
    noubliezjamais
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 253 ✭✭noubliezjamais


    ancapailldorcha wrote: »
    A bit random. That's all.

    Do you have any experience with the EPO? I know Jane Ní Dhulchaointigh won the 2018 European Inventor Award.

    nevermind that though, I've been thinking of approaching this hot woman I sit next to on my bus. If it goes bad though I'm ****ed because I have to make that 1hr commute everyday at that time. No other choice.


  • #47
    Signore Fancy Pants
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,703 ✭✭✭Signore Fancy Pants


    noubliezjamais wrote: »
    Do you have any experience with the EPO? I know Jane Ní Dhulchaointigh won the 2018 European Inventor Award.

    nevermind that though, I've been thinking of approaching this hot woman I sit next to on my bus. If it goes bad though I'm ****ed because I have to make that 1hr commute everyday at that time. No other choice.

    Dont you sit next to your sister on the bus?

    Weird.


  • #48
    Prominent_Dawg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 986 ✭✭✭Prominent_Dawg


    Why creepy? I for one would be absolutely flattered.


  • #49
    Signore Fancy Pants
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,703 ✭✭✭Signore Fancy Pants


    Prominent_Dawg wrote: »
    Why creepy? I for one would be absolutely flattered.

    Youre pretty


  • #50
    noubliezjamais
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 253 ✭✭noubliezjamais


    Dale Doback wrote: »
    Dont you sit next to your sister on the bus?

    Weird.

    Where did I say that?


  • #51
    jimbobaloobob
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭jimbobaloobob


    Dale Doback wrote: »
    As a woman, I love it when guys come up and tell me im pretty.

    Do it OP.

    I also love it when lads say I remind them of their mam. Thats guaranteed finger bang time!

    Must be the best post of the day!!!


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  • #52
    purplecow1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,879 ✭✭✭purplecow1977


    Could be perceived as creepy.

    Or it might be perceived as cute. Romantic even.

    It's a 50/50.

    Sorry. I've been no help :/


  • #53
    IAMAMORON
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,078 ✭✭✭IAMAMORON


    Only if you are grabbing her left elbow really tightly, whilst whispering in her left ear " you have lovely eyes, I would love to follow you home some time..... I think you remind me of an egg, you won't crack if I squeeze you firmly between the head and the bottom..... rather that squeeze you at the side ".

    At that point if you breathe really heavy into her ear she should be fine with it.


  • #54
    jimbobaloobob
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭jimbobaloobob


    I have often complimented women. I've never experienced any of them take it badly. In fact it has always sparked conversation and dates or drinks.
    I wouldn't start with a straight out compliment though begin with a conversation or a simple hello how are you if it's a person you see often.


  • #55
    NSAman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,497 ✭✭✭NSAman


    jimbobaloobob wrote: »
    I have often complimented women. I've never experienced any of them take it badly. In fact it has always sparked conversation and dates or drinks.
    I wouldn't start with a straight out compliment though begin with a conversation or a simple hello how are you if it's a person you see often.

    Oh Look...... that van stopped, lots of men in white coats are hauling him away...


  • #56
    Signore Fancy Pants
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,703 ✭✭✭Signore Fancy Pants


    noubliezjamais wrote: »
    Where did I say that?

    Well, I know you....sooooo.

    Stop tyring to ride your sister. She's ugly, a face like a sock full of crushed snails.


  • #57
    cannotlogin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭cannotlogin


    I'm female and I love it.

    It's nice to be complimented and I'm always flattered even if not interested.


  • #58
    lawred2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,202 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    Dale Doback wrote: »
    Youre pretty

    You can't be going around complimenting people with grammar like that..


  • #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 10,222 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    EmmetSpiceland wrote:
    Also, don’t bother even approaching anyone if you’re not dressed properly. Dragging yourself over like some swamp monster in those awful bootcut jeans with a cheque shirt is going to be a clear warning sign.

    Something something shaming something something victim blaming.

    Tell a girl she is pretty if you like her. If she takes offence, she is probably a ****. People who take compliments as insults are probably people you shouldn't put your dick into


  • #60
    purplecow1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,879 ✭✭✭purplecow1977


    I think you should do it.

    And post the reaction here.


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  • #61
    Mrsmum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭Mrsmum


    Would you not just make friendly chit chat to suss out her reaction to you without possibly putting her in the position of having to basically stall your advances from the very get go, which is generally more unpleasant for the rejecter than people allow for. Some girls will soak up all the compliments and love it but as many girls will be anxious to let you know that your compliments are going nowhere.


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