Is it okay to approach a woman and compliment her?

noubliezjamais

As a young guy, I wonder if it's ever okay to approach a similar young girl of college age and give her some compliments (i.e. you're pretty) along with small talk.

I'm confused because on one had you have people on the internet that say most women will love the confidence that comes with approaching them but on the other hand you have people saying it's harassment and rude.

Purple Mountain

No. Its creepy.

sportsfan90

If you're handsome it's charming.

If you're ugly it's creepy.

Signore Fancy Pants

As a woman, I love it when guys come up and tell me im pretty.

Do it OP.

I also love it when lads say I remind them of their mam. Thats guaranteed finger bang time!

TheValeyard

Tell her in the morning OP, just when she wakes up.....

Bannasidhe

Just approach her and talk to her, to put it bluntly, like she's a human being. If she doesn't want to chat - accept that. It may not be personal. She could just not want to talk. Respect that and if she's interested you will get another chance.

Starting off with 'you're pretty' or other comments (regardless if you mean them as compliments) on her appearance can come across as a bit creepy tbh.

Fann Linn

Dale Doback wrote: »

As a woman, I love it when guys come up and tell me im pretty.

Do it OP.

I also love it when lads say I remind them of their mam. Thats guaranteed finger bang time!

PM sent.

whiskeyman

You'll have to request consent for a compliment first.
Didn't you attend the talks bro?

EmmetSpiceland

Randomly complimenting a stranger is a very odd thing to do. You compliment your partner, when it’s deserved. Doing it to someone you’ve just seen across the street won’t be met with open legs, those legs will be running in the opposite direction.

Also, don’t bother even approaching anyone if you’re not dressed properly. Dragging yourself over like some swamp monster in those awful bootcut jeans with a cheque shirt is going to be a clear warning sign.

Be confident in yourself and your appearance. And for gods sakd don’t go making some pervy remark about the poor girl.

Force Carrier

Going up cold to a girl in college and saying "you're pretty" is a little direct.

Try subtlety, go up to her and smell her hair. Follow with "you smell different when you're awake"

noubliezjamais

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Randomly complimenting a stranger is a very odd thing to do. You compliment your partner, when it’s deserved. Doing it to someone you’ve just seen across the street won’t be met with open legs, those legs will be running in the opposite direction.

Also, don’t bother even approaching anyone if you’re not dressed properly. Dragging yourself over like some swamp monster in those awful bootcut jeans with a cheque shirt is going to be a clear warning sign.

Be confident in yourself and your appearance. And for gods sakd don’t go making some pervy remark about the poor girl.

I wear skinny jeans and GAP shirts. tend to be a bit feminine according to some.

JohnnyFlash

Everyone likes a compliment. I was in House a few weeks ago and was walking back from the smoking area when some bird said to me, ‘great arse on you’. Chuffed I was. Got chatting to her, and three hours later we were back in her place riding like it was the last time either of us would. Nearly burned me arse off the lightbulb on the ceiling.

RCK1

It all depends how you do it and the type of person she is. Try talking normally/pleasantly a few times then make a genuine nice compliment. Most people female or male would be happy with it. Just don't go up randomly and make a comment out of the blue in a creepy way

Tacklebox

I'd compliment a friend or someone I haven't seen in a while, or if they've been ill and look better.

The only way I'd compliment a stranger is if they're out surfing, fishing or have something like a classy motorbike or nice fishing set up or surfing really well.

I'd say nice wave, looked sweet.

Or if someone had a nice piece of fishing equipment and I never seen it before I'd say is that a Shimano reel, or there's great action on that rod.

If I was in a tattoo parlor and someone had nice work done I'd compliment them on it, or ask who was the artist.

I wouldn't compliment a stranger on their looks, body or whatever.
It's just downright a bit creepy

rgodard80a

noubliezjamais wrote: »

I wonder if it's ever okay to approach a similar young girl of college age and give her some compliments

Depends, do you like the smell of mace?

Andrew00

Only good looking lads can walk up to a girl and compliment her.

If youre ugly she'll call the guards or her friends will laugh at you

How Soon Is Now

Stay away from the vast majority of these college women there all mainly new age feminist types that will have you put on some kinda list if you breath funny around them.

Remember OP men are evil we can't be trusted with anything!

Just have a nice safe **** at home you be grand!

emo72

why is it ok to compliment someone on their looks anyway? its a bit shallow. why not consder the whole package?

"hi. i just wanted to say your extremely brainy. i never heard a girl do quadratic equations like that. so hot babe!"

Cookie_Monster

"Nice tits luv"


Yeah, maybe not OP

Zubeneschamali

noubliezjamais wrote: »

As a young guy, I wonder if it's ever okay to approach a similar young girl of college age and give her some compliments (i.e. you're pretty) along with small talk.

If you have to ask us, the answer is No, never.

Men who can get away with this would never ask us.

BBFAN

It depends on whether you've every spoken before?

ceadaoin.

It's creepy for a guy to walk up to a girl at college who is a complete stranger and complement her. I don't know why people think it makes a difference if he is good looking. It doesnt. Still creepy

Pawwed Rig

It is perfectly normal in real life if you ask normal real life people. If you ask people on the internet it is weird and creepy. This is why advice from the internet is a waste of time*


*except my advice obviously.


Seriously OP just do it. If you follow advice online you will be approaching women through your solicitor. Most girls in real life or not rabid left wing nutters.

hatrickpatrick

I do it all the time. Life is too short to hold back on saying something that might just brighten someone's day up, just because the cultural era we're living in is such a clusterf*ck. For the record, I've never had anyone get visibly annoyed, but I have gotten several dates out of taking the chance.

Saying nice things to people shouldn't be remotely controversial FFS.

ChikiChiki

noubliezjamais wrote: »

As a young guy, I wonder if it's ever okay to approach a similar young girl of college age and give her some compliments (i.e. you're pretty) along with small talk.

I'm confused because on one had you have people on the internet that say most women will love the confidence that comes with approaching them but on the other hand you have people saying it's harassment and rude.

If your good looking then yes otherwise no.

hatrickpatrick

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Saying nice things to people shouldn't be remotely controversial FFS.

it's not except for people who like pretending it is

lawred2

Tacklebox wrote: »

I'd compliment a friend or someone I haven't seen in a while, or if they've been ill and look better.

The only way I'd compliment a stranger is if they're out surfing, fishing or have something like a classy motorbike or nice fishing set up or surfing really well.

I'd say nice wave, looked sweet.

Or if someone had a nice piece of fishing equipment and I never seen it before I'd say is that a Shimano reel, or there's great action on that rod.

If I was in a tattoo parlor and someone had nice work done I'd compliment them on it, or ask who was the artist.

I wouldn't compliment a stranger on their looks, body or whatever.
It's just downright a bit creepy

Great action on that rod

You massive pervert

riffmongous

ceadaoin. wrote: »

It's creepy for a guy to walk up to a girl at college who is a complete stranger and complement her. I don't know why people think it makes a difference if he is good looking. It doesnt. Still creepy

Because most of the people responding here like that have so low confidence as to consider themselves ugly and that no girl would be interested in them. Sad but that is how it is here. They'd rather rage and blame da wimmen

lawred2

emo72 wrote: »

why is it ok to compliment someone on their looks anyway? its a bit shallow. why not consder the whole package?

"hi. i just wanted to say your extremely brainy. i never heard a girl do quadratic equations like that. so hot babe!"

Humans prize good looks.

It may be shallow but it's reality.

ancapailldorcha

noubliezjamais wrote: »

I wear skinny jeans and GAP shirts. tend to be a bit feminine according to some.

Why do you have the European Patent Office as a signature?

lawred2

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I do it all the time. Life is too short to hold back on saying something that might just brighten someone's day up, just because the cultural era we're living in is such a clusterf*ck. For the record, I've never had anyone get visibly annoyed, but I have gotten several dates out of taking the chance.

Saying nice things to people shouldn't be remotely controversial FFS.

It's all in the delivery and the carrier... Good looking and assured without being smug or self satisfied and your compliments will be warmly received...

Otherwise forget about it or you'll be on the wrong end of a rape whistle

It does depend on your approach OP but it's not creepy. It's sad that we live in an age when a compliment is seen as creepy.

WinnyThePoo

Go for it. Don't be disappointed if nothing comes of it... That's life... But you might get along and bag a date.

All you can do is try.

Day Lewin

Cripes, I love compliments. I don't get so many that I can afford to be disdainful.

Sure, if a complete stranger approached me directly with a "you're pretty" as his opening line, I would certainly question his motives: but I would still laugh it off "Ha ha, thanks, and p1ss off, sweet talker!"

I mean, I can see through a guy's intentions; but I can still enjoy a free compliment and not feel threatened by it.

OP: if you want to get to know a girl, start a polite conversation, before throwing in your billets-doux.
If you just want to get your pole greased, stick to Tinder and the vast world of imaginary romance.

Strumms

Put the shoe on the other foot...if you were in the library and some girl, good looking or otherwise approached you, out of the blue whom was not known to you and said....” I’ve spent some time looking at you and I really like your eyebrows”... rather then be all swapping numbers you’d be in WTF mode. Far too direct, by all means attempt to start a conversation about whatever situation has you both in the same location but I’d hold off on compliments until the 2nd or 3rd stalk..sorry conversation.

rgodard80a

ceadaoin. wrote: »

It's creepy for a guy to walk up to a girl at college who is a complete stranger and complement her. I don't know why people think it makes a difference if he is good looking. It doesnt. Still creepy

In fairness, in a college environment, especially in the college pub/locals, it's a lot easier to strike up a conversation about the college, courses, exams etc.

The slightly creepy way the OP put it was "similar young girl of college age", which doesn't necessarily imply either of them are in college, or the same college.
Just kind of implies "she's legal".

Thoie

Starting off with a compliment to a complete stranger is a bit weird, particularly a personal remark about their own looks. However there's nothing wrong with striking up a conversation.

The main thing is to learn how to recognise and accept whatever response you get, which can fall under the following headings:
1. They tell you, subtly, or unsubtly, to **** off. The correct response there is to apologise for having bothered them, walk away, and don't think about it any further. Don't beat yourself up, don't question yourself, just put it out of your mind. It's not a personal rejection.

2. They make some small talk, but give really short answers, are looking around a lot, keep checking their phone/book, not making much eye contact. In that case they're trying to be polite, but are not really interested in talking to you, and are hoping you'll leave. Do so, graciously. "It was nice to meet you, maybe I'll see you around". Walk away, don't think about them any further.

3. They make small talk, expand on their answers, ask you questions in return, and seem interested in the responses. They make eye contact, and are not checking their phone constantly, are not looking around for "an escape route". Keep chatting for a while, but after a few minutes, back off gently. "I'm must head off, dying for a coffee". At that point they might also decide they want a coffee, or they need to get back to the library, go to their next lecture, meet a friend. If they don't suggest going for coffee with you, tell them it was nice to meet them, and you hope to see them around again. The ball is in her court then, she might suggest something, she mightn't, but next time you see her, you can resume the conversation. Always be on the look out for the signs from #2 though, and step back.

noubliezjamais

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Why do you have the European Patent Office as a signature?

Why not? I got an interest in them during 2013.

Signore Fancy Pants

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Why not? I got an interest in them during 2013.

Did you approach and compliment them too?

ancapailldorcha

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Why not? I got an interest in them during 2013.

A bit random. That's all.

Pawwed Rig

Dale Doback wrote: »

Did you approach and compliment them too?

They got a restraining order

bessboroughboy

Ask her does she know anything about carburettors?

If she's surprised, ask her if it would have been sexist to assume she didn't

If she asks why, tell her you've always found them fascinating

If she does, tell her you're burning rich

If she's offended, tell her you're relieved as you really only wanted to compliment her

If she laughs, tell her your name

ceadaoin.

For people saying they've done this and the girl wasn't annoyed or weirded out, well that's because even if she is she isn't going to say anything a lot of the time because she's liable to get abuse then , "stuck up bitch" or similar. Much better to smile, say thanks and hope they disappear tbh. That's what I do.

It is weird and slightly creepy to me. And I'm talking about when it happens somewhere completely unexpected like just walking down the street or in a shop , not somewhere you could reasonably expect to be hit on like a bar/event or whatever.

NSAman

Always found its best to insult ladies first.... it makes anything "nice" you say all the more appreciated..;)

blackcard

Dale Doback wrote: »

As a woman, I love it when guys come up and tell me im pretty.

Do it OP.

I also love it when lads say I remind them of their mam. Thats guaranteed finger bang time!

My mam, when she was young, used to love strangers coming up to her and saying she was pretty. You remind me of her

noubliezjamais

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

A bit random. That's all.

Do you have any experience with the EPO? I know Jane Ní Dhulchaointigh won the 2018 European Inventor Award.

nevermind that though, I've been thinking of approaching this hot woman I sit next to on my bus. If it goes bad though I'm ****ed because I have to make that 1hr commute everyday at that time. No other choice.

Signore Fancy Pants

noubliezjamais wrote: »

Do you have any experience with the EPO? I know Jane Ní Dhulchaointigh won the 2018 European Inventor Award.

nevermind that though, I've been thinking of approaching this hot woman I sit next to on my bus. If it goes bad though I'm ****ed because I have to make that 1hr commute everyday at that time. No other choice.

Dont you sit next to your sister on the bus?

Weird.

Prominent_Dawg

Why creepy? I for one would be absolutely flattered.

Signore Fancy Pants

Prominent_Dawg wrote: »

Why creepy? I for one would be absolutely flattered.

Youre pretty

noubliezjamais

Dale Doback wrote: »

Dont you sit next to your sister on the bus?

Weird.

Where did I say that?

jimbobaloobob

Dale Doback wrote: »

As a woman, I love it when guys come up and tell me im pretty.

Do it OP.

I also love it when lads say I remind them of their mam. Thats guaranteed finger bang time!

Must be the best post of the day!!!