The try harder if ye want to keep a second joke thread thread

The Chip shop i go to still wrap up meals in newspaper. Yesterday i got a Plaice in The Sun.

In a nutshell, science is the following: You make a theory, and then try to proof it.

Example: When I say "There is beer in the fridge!" and go to the fridge to check if my statement is correct, I'm already doing some form of science.

If I say "There is beer in the fridge!", but don't check if any is there, because I believe it, that's religion.

If I say "There is beer in the fridge!" , then check the contents of the fridge, find out none is there, and still continue to claim that there is beer, that's esotericism.

And if, upon finding out that there is no beer in the fridge, I take out some milk and say "It works just like beer, because it had been next to it at some point!", then that's homeopathy.

A helium balloon floats into a bar.

Bartender says, “What can I do for you?”


The balloon points over and says, “I’ll have whatever that weasel’s having.”