Girlfriend wont allow me to have a TV in house

abyrne888 · 06-02-2019 08:06PM #1

Met girlfriend 10 months ago. Both mid thirties. Moved in together. No TV in the house. I want one for the sitting room. I would like one to watch say the 6 o clock new and maybe 1 hour of sport at the weekend. No more than that. I don't want to watch TV for hours on end. She insists I can't have a TV in the house. She was going to relent and allow me to have one in the bedroom but now she insists no TV is allowed in the house.

I am worried that she is very controlling??????? Is she being unreasonable? Am i asking for too much? Is she too controlling of me? ??????????

niallers1 · 06-02-2019 08:11PM

<SNIP>

Yes, Unless she is very entertaining I would be worried that this is the tip of the Iceberg (or worse.)

stevek93 · 06-02-2019 08:15PM

Ah here, I would be concerned of things to come

Calltocall · 06-02-2019 08:16PM

<SNIP>

Yes she sounds very controlling and agree with poster above that could be tip of iceberg and you’ll be caving on a lot more than tvs in the future. if you want a tv get a tv, you’re a grown man in your thirties she’s not your mammy.

AndrewJRenko · 06-02-2019 08:17PM

What's her reason for this restriction?

Anthonylfc · 06-02-2019 08:18PM

Op

Grow a pair ye blouse

Kevin Finnerty · 06-02-2019 08:21PM

You used too many question marks there OP. Cut down on them or you're in the doghouse.

ClanofLams · 06-02-2019 08:23PM

Never mind things to come, this is enough on its own for me. It’s a tv you want to have not growing drugs or anything ffs. You’re even willing to be flexible about where it is in the house. A good partner would have no issue with this, particularly as it sounds like you’re not the type to watch it all evening or all weekend.

cannotlogin · 06-02-2019 08:23PM

Run. If she's this bossy, controlling and unreasonable over something as minor as this how bad will see be over the big stuff?

There cannot be any logic reason for this? Cost is not outrageous, cannot be allergy related, no maintence costs, cannot have a phobia, completely at a loss on this one!

Big Bag of Chips · 06-02-2019 08:29PM

Anthonylfc, please read the Forum Charter before posting again.

Your post falls far short of the standard expected in Personal Issues.

abyrne888 · 06-02-2019 08:30PM

it's just she doesn't like TVs in her house. it is her house. and she is adamant about it.
she said something about TVs ruining a house and that she hasn't had a TV in the house for years.
i genuinely don't think it is too much too ask??????

SoundsRight · 06-02-2019 08:31PM

If she isn't happy with your money going into the pockets (and up the noses) of south Dublin's finest, I'm full square behind her. You can follow news on your phone or tablet. Ditto for sport. You're not missing out on anything.

abyrne888 · 06-02-2019 08:39PM

but it is only a TV. i'd say they are in virtually every house in the country.
like for instance the Six Nations rugby was on the TV last weekend. i would have liked to have been able to watch it at home. just a game of rugby like.
at the most i would only have watched maybe the news at night or an occasional programme.
surely she should allow me have a TV????

pwurple · 06-02-2019 08:41PM

Yeah, it is her house. I think it’s fair enough if she doesn’t want some piece of furniture. Also, with a TV you also need something to connect it to. An aerial or dish, and you need a license. So there’s a bit of infrastructure and drilling holes in her house and roof for this malarkey, and setting up monthly expenses on her turf.

I wouldn’t be too pushed about a TV either really, it’s a big ugly yoke, and people become total zombies in front of it. News is on the radio, sport is in the pub.

We do still have one though, even though I don’t want it... and when I’m sick, or there is some milestone event on, we stick it on.

abyrne888 · 06-02-2019 08:47PM

she says she doesn't like the look of a TV in a house.

pwurple · 06-02-2019 08:48PM

abyrne888 wrote: »

she says she doesn't like the look of a TV in a house.

Makes sense. They are hideous.

Unless you found a nice looking one? There are ones that turn into pieces of art when off. Or retro types .

odyssey06 · 06-02-2019 08:50PM

Only a matter of time before she doesnt like the look of you in the house. Get out now.

abyrne888 · 06-02-2019 08:59PM

and there is other stuff as well. now maybe it is me. i dont know.
i pay her 100 a week in rent. it is her house. and this covers ESB. I would never open another persons private post. The ESB bill came the other day. It was clearly marked ESB. i opened it to see how much the bill was. Like, we are partners. I pay the ESB. But she went absolutely crazy. I mean crazy.
It was not a bank statement or a private letter or personal medical stuff or family stuff. they would all be private to her and I respect that. BUT it was the household ESB bill, clearly marked ESB. I pay the ESB. Surely I can see the bill?
was she being irrational about this as well?

SoundsRight · 06-02-2019 09:03PM

abyrne888 wrote: »

and there is other stuff as well. now maybe it is me. i dont know.
i pay her 100 a week in rent. it is her house. and this covers ESB. I would never open another persons private post. The ESB bill came the other day. It was clearly marked ESB. i opened it to see how much the bill was. Like, we are partners. I pay the ESB. But she went absolutely crazy. I mean crazy.
It was not a bank statement or a private letter or personal medical stuff or family stuff. they would all be private to her and I respect that. BUT it was the household ESB bill, clearly marked ESB. I pay the ESB. Surely I can see the bill?
was she being irrational about this as well?

Her house, her rules. Pretty sure it's an offence to open someone else's mail?

qwerty13 · 06-02-2019 09:03PM

Best case scenario is that she is not remotely ready to share her space with anyone.

Worst case scenario is that she is extremely controlling, and this is just the beginning of it. Has she ever seemed controlling to you before?

PS: and only 10 months in! This is supposed to be the ‘honeymoon period’

odyssey06 · 06-02-2019 09:03PM

abyrne888 wrote: »

and there is other stuff as well. now maybe it is me. i dont know.
i pay her 100 a week in rent. it is her house. and this covers ESB. I would never open another persons private post. The ESB bill came the other day. It was clearly marked ESB. i opened it to see how much the bill was. Like, we are partners. I pay the ESB. But she went absolutely crazy. I mean crazy.

You are not partners. Thats not how partners act.
Went crazy... no. She was like that when you got there. These things just reveal it.

Things wont get any more normal from here on out.

Telly · 06-02-2019 09:05PM

Not your post so you’ve no right to touch it. Doesn’t matter if it’s just supervalue vouchers, it wasn’t addressed to you!

Silverfish · 06-02-2019 09:05PM

abyrne888 wrote: »

she says she doesn't like the look of a TV in a house.

Well my 52 inch is fabulous, and you know what else? Everything looks fabulous on it.

What's all her furniture pointed at??

No she sounds too much, lot of red flags here OP, you'll have to have a proper talk about where this is headed.

Collie D · 06-02-2019 09:05PM

Telly wrote: »

Not your post so you’ve no right to touch it. Doesn’t matter if it’s just supervalue vouchers, it wasn’t addressed to you!

You’re not allowed in here

odyssey06 · 06-02-2019 09:06PM

SoundsRight wrote: »

Her house, her rules. Pretty sure it's an offence to open someone else's mail?

His house. He lives there and is paying for the bill.

No future with someone who freaks out that someone looked at bill they are being charged for.

johnny19w · 06-02-2019 09:07PM

She’s right. No need for TV license then ðŸ˜‚

Kevin Finnerty · 06-02-2019 09:07PM

abyrne888 wrote: »

and there is other stuff as well. now maybe it is me. i dont know.
i pay her 100 a week in rent. it is her house. and this covers ESB. I would never open another persons private post. The ESB bill came the other day. It was clearly marked ESB. i opened it to see how much the bill was. Like, we are partners. I pay the ESB. But she went absolutely crazy. I mean crazy.
It was not a bank statement or a private letter or personal medical stuff or family stuff. they would all be private to her and I respect that. BUT it was the household ESB bill, clearly marked ESB. I pay the ESB. Surely I can see the bill?
was she being irrational about this as well?

Totally. If she wants you to be her equal she should've understood why you opened it.
The very fact you did open it might tell you enough of what you actually think of the relationship yourself. Are you going to spend your time tiptoeing around her to get the information you want?

odyssey06 · 06-02-2019 09:10PM

Telly wrote: »

Not your post so you’ve no right to touch it. Doesn’t matter if it’s just supervalue vouchers, it wasn’t addressed to you!

I open my partners bills and loyalty mailings and vice versa. Cant imagine agreeing to live as a couple with somone if that bothered me.

He is not a lodger or tenant.

No way they are going to be able to plan a future together like this.

amcalester · 06-02-2019 09:11PM

No TV? What’s the furniture pointed at?

abyrne888 · 06-02-2019 09:11PM

yes
but i pay the ESB
it was clearly an ESB bill
i would never open anything personal. it was the household ESB bill.
not a doctors letter, a work letter, a letter from a friend, a bank statement.
sure if i pay the ESB bill, i can open the ESB bill.
we had a huge argument over this. huge

one more thing i bought a bookshelf for some books. but she commandeered it and said she wanted to use it as a shoe stand inside the front door. i caved. i had no choice. but i bought it out of my own money. but she insisted it be used as a shoe stand

are these signs she is controlling? i am starting to worry?

abyrne888 · 06-02-2019 09:13PM

the furniture is pointed at nothing because there is nothing, except the couch is pointed at the stove, i guess

Girlfriend wont allow me to have a TV in house

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