The try harder if ye want to keep a second joke thread thread

A young man moved from his parents home into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now completely nude, she purred at him,
"What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my EARS?!"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was me..."

I'll probably go to hell for this one ��
Camilla Parker Bowles bought a new pair of shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on.
That night after the festivities were finally over, she and Prince
Charles had retired to their room at the Buckingham Palace.
Camilla flopped on the bed and said 'Please remove my shoes darling, they are killing me.
Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour. But it would not budge.
'Harder' yelled Camilla.
'Harder?' Charles yelled back,
'I'm trying darling! But it's just so bloody tight!' 'Come on, give it all you've got ' she cried.
Finally when it released, Charles let out a big groan, and Camilla exclaimed 'Oh God, that feels so good.'
in their bedroom next door, The Queen turned to Prince Phillip and said,'See, I told you she would still be a virgin with a face like that.
Meanwhile back in the other bedroom Charles was attempting to remove the other shoe when he cried out 'Oh god, darling this one's even tighter.
At which point, Prince Phillip turned and said to the Queen: 'That's my boy, once a Navy man, always a Navy man!'