CNN Writes Article On Cuckolding | Describe it as "Largely Positive"

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 30-01-2019 11:14AM

Deleted User wrote: »

One of the lads drunkenly told me he fantasised about it. There's a difference between hotwifing and cuckholding though. The latter having more of a focus on emasculation, while the former being more like swinging.

What’s the difference though both result in stirring another mans porridge

30-01-2019 11:18AM

Briar Wrong Tribune wrote: »

What’s the difference though both result in stirring another mans porridge

One I believe comes with the mindset of "I hit the jackpot and my wife is so hot, other men want her." The other is "I'm a worthless man."

Motivations are different, with the same end result where your wife is getting omniplexed in front of you. It likely leads to a ruined relationship but I guess it can work for some couples. I know another couple where both are allowed to do their thing. 17 years together and they're a model couple.

harry Bailey esq · 30-01-2019 11:34AM

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I take it you're a Utd fan then :rolleyes:

Good God no! I'm a bohs fan! I'd quicker let two fellas double team my missus than visit the 'theatre of dreams'

Muckka · 30-01-2019 11:45AM

Pete_Sampras wrote: »

The majority of women do not find their husband attractive. Only a small percentage of men are sexually attractive to women, say around 10% or so for argument's sake.

A study on OK Cuppid for example found that women find around 80% of men below averagein terms of attractiveness if I recall correctly. This makes sense evolutionarily, a woman's eggs are expensive, she should avoid wasting them on suboptimal men so the attraction mechanism in her head only gives her attraction for the top men. Most men for example would have sex with an average woman as sperm is cheap, most women would not have sex with an average man as eggs are expensive

This leaves women with a dilemma, if they want a family most women need to settle down with a man who they don't find sexually attractive. There is a reason there are so many memes based on sexless marriages, because there is a lot of truth to it that people can recognise. Even when there is sex in these marriages it is usually transactional in nature rather than out of genuine desire as the wife knows that she has to at least give her husband sex occasionally, even if that means boring routine sex.

The husband infers from his married sex life that his wife just isn't really into sex, the truth is she just isn't into sex with him

Little does he realise that there is a good chance his wife had genuine desire sex with desirable men in her younger, where she begged for her partner to cum on her ass/tits/face and fukc her in the ass. He couldn't fathom that as a possibility as he never gets to see her true sexual nature as it lies dormant within her. But it is a lot more likely than many husbands realise.

These husbands are often controlled in subtle ways by their wives, the wives use their sexual agency to control them. This is why the sex is transactional, they only get it if they are a good little boy and do what their told. As a result their wives lose respect for them which makes the husbands even more unappealing sexually.

Many of these huaband's believe that their wives wouldn't have casual sex as they were made to wait for months. Little do they know that it just takes the right man in the right place and they would have casual sex.

As a rule of thumb, if a woman makes you wait for sex it usually isn't worth the wait. Before a man has a monogomous relationship he should ensure that he can regularly have casual sex with attractive women so that he knows he has value sexually to women.

That's all for now folks, feel free to subscribe to my newsletter.

Fancy playing doubles

seamus · 30-01-2019 11:52AM

Briar Wrong Tribune wrote: »

What’s the difference though both result in stirring another mans porridge

Cuckolding specifically is a form of domination/humiliation fetish.

Part of the draw to it is that the other man is more of a stereotypical "man" than the husband, either in the size of his penis, his physical fitness, or just his assertiveness/dominance.

It can involve simple humiliation such as comments from the wife and the other man about how pathetic he is, right up to what can only be described as a bisexual threesome where the cuckold sucks off the other man in between watching his wife getting pounded.

There are of course grey areas. Men who would claim to be into a cuckold fetish, when in reality they are hogtied to a woman who has sex with her boyfriend and the only sniff of action he ever gets is to watch them go at it. Whether that actually constitutes "consent" or is actually form of domestic/psychological abuse, is debatable.

As humiliation goes, it can get pretty extreme. I have no idea how such insane crushing of your self-esteem is in any way exciting, but there you go.

"Hotwifing" is pretty broad, it can be simple voyeurism sharing explicit photos or videos. Or it can be having sex in the view of others, and can even involve wife-sharing/wife-swapping.

The difference between wife-sharing and cuckolding is specifically the humiliation aspect. People who wife-share aren't necessarily cuckolds; they get enjoyment out of seeing their wife going at it, but they're not actively being humiliated at the same time. In fact, afaik many cuckolds hate the fact that their partner is shagging someone else, but this is part of the excitement.

Humans are fncking weird.

Rootsblower · 30-01-2019 11:54AM

Ernest Mammoth Cashier wrote: »

When I was 19 I worked in an arcade in the US. The mother of a girl I worked with started coming in a lot and giving me sandwiches and stuff. Invited me to a pool party repeatedly. Her husband came in tow one time. She was openly trying to hook up with me. Her daughter told me the same thing. I was just confused by it. They definitely had a cuckold thing.

She was alright looking, nothing special. Smacked of desperation a bit, which totally spoiled the whole older woman thing I could otherwise have gotten into. Blond hair down to her ass. Dressed a bit young.

Mutton dressed as lamb eh, won’t yell swell or tell!!!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 30-01-2019 11:55AM

Surely that’s domestic abuse? Telling a man he’s worthless and pathetic and making them feel like they’re inadequate? That’s disgusting. I would be horrified hearing a woman speak to her partner like that

seamus · 30-01-2019 12:02PM

Briar Wrong Tribune wrote: »

Surely that’s domestic abuse? Telling a man he’s worthless and pathetic and making them feel like they’re inadequate? That’s disgusting. I would be horrified hearing a woman speak to her partner like that

It's only abuse if it's non-consensual.

I don't get it either. Even your standard sub/dom stuff. How can you be tied up in chains and leather and be "yes, mistress, no mistress", and then an hour later you're sitting down to a cuppa and interacting as equals?

It has to affect the relationship overall and cause one partner to wield excessive power outside of the bedroom. And unless they're acutely aware of this imbalance and only use it benevolently, then it follows that a form of stockholm syndrome will set it.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 30-01-2019 12:10PM

seamus wrote: »

It's only abuse if it's non-consensual.

I don't get it either. Even your standard sub/dom stuff. How can you be tied up in chains and leather and be "yes, mistress, no mistress", and then an hour later you're sitting down to a cuppa and interacting as equals?

It has to affect the relationship overall and cause one partner to wield excessive power outside of the bedroom. And unless they're acutely aware of this imbalance and only use it benevolently, then it follows that a form of stockholm syndrome will set it.

I get men like bossy women, or women like men in charge but that’s totally different to verbally abusing and belittling someone. I dont know. Each to their own, but that just doesn’t sit right with me

Feisar · 30-01-2019 12:21PM

Well my weird lil' kinks don't seem so bad. Now if I could just get the barbed wire out of my arse...

mcmoustache · 30-01-2019 12:37PM

Temptamperu wrote: »

not all liberals are cucks, but all cucks are most definitely liberal.

Roger Stone would like a word.

Feisar · 30-01-2019 12:46PM

Balanadan wrote: »

There are plenty of men out there who have no problem attracting women, but they don't throw it about for various reasons, such as not wanting to be chased by nutters or the risk of STDs.

Never stick yer dick in crazy.

Wibbs · 30-01-2019 12:56PM

Feisar wrote: »

Never stick yer dick in crazy.

and don't let crazy stick its dick in you, as my exes found out to their cost.

30-01-2019 01:57PM

splashuum wrote: »

I came across this quite bizarre article which advocates cuckoldry. What is most surprising for me is the fact that CNN (a massive main stream media news outlet) are glorifying this. Some of the quotes from the article include

splashuum wrote: »

What is their end game here? Break up the family?

You have had a really weird response to the article I suspect - attempting to attribute all kinds of motives and positions to it. The article appears to have no "end game" here other than to report on the findings of a study. Their reasoning for reporting on it appears to be simply that the results of the study seem to run contrary to what most people might expect - hence to their mind making it interesting to their readers.

But alas like many reports on studies - the article does not appear to actually refer to the data - the methodology - or anything related to the study at all really. So it is the same pathetic level of Science Journalism that is alas the norm of our modern world.

The quotes you picked as being "from the article" are not actually from the author of the article at all though - but quotes from people and data the article is about. So they too can not be attributed to the motivations of the writer of the article. That said however -

splashuum wrote: »

"acting on cuckolding fantasies can be a largely positive experience" "Overall, our research found that for the most part, cuckolding tends to be a positive fantasy and behavior,". "It doesn't appear to be evidence of disturbance, of an unhealthy relationship"

- I am not sure what your issue is with any of these quotes. They appear to be containing no value judgement. Merely direct comments on the findings. I would be more worried about the finding themselves as the only link in the article is to a study on cuckolding specifically in "gay men" so I would not know why they are extrapolating this to an article about men and their female partners. As I said - bad science journalism.

The quotes you picked appear ok to me however especially the last one. This kind of sexual activity is not automatically evidence of issues in the relationship. It _can_ be of course - no one is saying it can't. They are just saying that we can not automatically assume that there is issues when people take this route. Quite the opposite in fact as many people taking this route can be in quite strong and healthy relationships.

So if readers were to take only one thing from the article and nothing else - I would want it to be that. Divergent sexual behaviours are almost never an automatic indication of relationship issues. Sometimes they can even be the _exact_ opposite.

splashuum wrote: »

Each to their own but in general I am almost certain this sort of behavior would be a relationship destroyer. CNN are trying to normalize the idea of watching your long term partner have sex with someone else. Bonkers.

I think they are not trying to normalise it so much as merely acknowledge it might already be more normal and common than we might suspect.

I am not sure what your certainty about it being a relationship destroyer is based on. Many people do it and are just fine. And "swinging" too. The definitions of cuckolding and swinging have changed a bit over time to the point that many people take one as the other - or use them interchangeably - but in general there is a lot more of it going on without destroying anything than you might know.

That said - anything _can_ destroy a relationship and one should not bush the boundaries without a solid foundation and good communication unless one wants to take great risks with the relationship. That is not limited to swinging or cuckolding. Any change can do this. Even relatively mundane things like anal sex, or things like BDSM, or watching porn together. Anything _can_ upset the boat and toss everyone out. I personally know of a couple that broke down after they started watching porn together.

Caution and communication is always advised.

But at the end of the day is the title of the article merely that "Cuckolding can be positive" really that controversial? Or do we have to ignore the word "can" in order to manufacture a reaction to it greater than it actually deserves?

30-01-2019 02:00PM

Gimme A Pound wrote: »

It's not always coming from a negative place just to highlight such matters.

Sure but those who are coming from a negative place are pretty apparent. Especially when they start calling the people "sad sad men" or questioning whether it is even valid to call them men at all. How is that _not_ coming from a negative place?

But that is their opinion entirely. There is nothing outside value judgements here that actually ground that in anything but mere opinion and bias from a pedestal one does not actually have. Which is absolutely fine - do not get me wrong - but let us call the spade a spade.

The more realistic appraisal is that there is a whole continuum of reasons why people might want to engage in this activity and _some_ of them are perfectly healthy and OK while _some_ are not. But you can say that about dominance and submission play too. Or Bondage. Or many things.

I certainly feel for people in the latter camp. There are people who genuinely really do not want to lose their partners and consent to activities like this solely because they think they will lose them if they do not. For example.

But I would reserve for them my compassion and sympathy rather than insults and questioning whatever I personally think "man" or "manhood" means and whether they deserve the label which is a level of high horsing I have no personal time for engaging in myself.

Gimme A Pound wrote: »

The vast majority of men wouldn't like the idea of their wife or girlfriend having a really good ride with another man (doesn't matter what skin colour) and it's not unreasonable to wonder why such a spectacle or idea is a turn-on for a minority.

Well firstly if the study is accurate - and I have not actually read the original that closely yet to question it - then it is not that much of a "minority" at all who like the idea. Though those that actually go through with it may be.

As for _why_ they would do it well as I wrote on another thread I think there are a multitude of reasons for it - some healthy and some worrying - for it. Quite diverse reasons too. I have some of them myself and when reading about other people with similar interests in maybe pursuing this I find their reasons entirely different to me own. So I suspect the sum total of reasons is rather large.

Briar Wrong Tribune wrote: »

It’s a very strange kink for sure. I’d be devastated if my long term partner didn’t care about me not being faithful.

I think the issue there is that "faithful" is not a fixed term from relationship to relationship. Consenting to engage in sexual activity with others outside a relationship - when all members of the relationship are in agreement - is for many _not_ being unfaithful. At all.

Being faithful in a relationship and being monogamous while in a relationship are not synonyms. One does not automatically imply or in any way require the other.

Briar Wrong Tribune wrote: »

What’s the difference though both result in stirring another mans porridge

It strongly comes down to _why_ the people engaging in it are doing it. And I think the derision associated with it is focusing on the kind of man allowing it to happen because he is too weak to voice his counter opinion - too scared to lose his partner by denying her requests - or too unable to satisfy his partner so she is compelled to seek further pleasures elsewhere.

I do not share their derision, rather I have compassion and sympathy for such people. I genuinely think they need help.

But many many engage in this taboo/fantasy for genuine and healthy reasons too - but they get splashback (pun intended) from the derision of the above. And the people questioning why their wife wants to go and do it miss that quite often it is the _man_ who initiates the idea and pursues the fantasy.

So rather than judge or evaluate "cucks" and the like as a whole - I think it healthier to evaluate the reasons any given individual is doing it.

What is somewhat interesting to me though is the psychology behind a mild inversion I see here. Very often in the past I have heard complaints that men sleeping around are called Studs while women who do it are called sluts. Here the reverse appears to occur. The men are derided while the women who have this going on are congratulated by those deriding the men. It is an interesting reversal probably worth exploration.

Briar Wrong Tribune wrote: »

Surely that’s domestic abuse? Telling a man he’s worthless and pathetic and making them feel like they’re inadequate? That’s disgusting. I would be horrified hearing a woman speak to her partner like that

It is all about consent though isn't it? There is a difference between insulting someone calling them "worthless" and doing it because they actively _want_ you to.

The same is true by analogy of, for example, S+M stuff. In most contexts you might be horrified to find a man hitting his wife. Or a wife inflicting physical pain on her husband. But some people actively want that when it comes to their sex life.

If you would evaluate physical violence depending on the context therefore - realising some of it is assault and some of it is consent - then why not emotional too? Consenting to be whipped with words or whipped by leather - what is the difference really when there is consent and even desire?

El_Duderino 09 · 30-01-2019 02:20PM

Fascinating that this article would get under so many people's skin. given the solidarity I saw when Gillette were perceived to have had a go at men, now some of the same posters having a go at men who are Into a different type of sex.

Here's an article highlighting awareness of a different type of sex that some men enjoy. Instead of celebrating men being encouraged to do as they want with consenting adults, men calling otheren cucks and talking them down.

Sadly typical of some of the usual posters to feign interest in men's issues. But even that feigned interest clearly doesn't spread to men who aren't like you.

Watching someone else have sex with my Mrs isn't something I'd like to do, but there are loads of things I'm not Into. As Long as everyone involved is consenting and nobody pressures me to get involved, then normal rules apply. Live and let live.

Wibbs · 30-01-2019 02:20PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Sure but those who are coming from a negative place are pretty apparent. Especially when they start calling the people "sad sad men" or questioning whether it is even valid to call them men at all. How is that _not_ coming from a negative place?

Reality isn't always positive, many things and people and behaviours are negative. Depending on one's viewpoint of course and mine sees some guy getting his jollies from being humiliated from watching his missus getting tapped out by someone else as negative and yep sad.

What is somewhat interesting to me though is the psychology behind a mild inversion I see here. Very often in the past I have heard complaints that men sleeping around are called Studs while women who do it are called sluts. Here the reverse appears to occur. The men are derided while the women who have this going on are congratulated by those deriding the men. It is an interesting reversal probably worth exploration.

No deep thinking required. All things being equal being a "stud" is more difficult that being a "slut" so it's understandable why one is seen as more of a positive - in one sense anyway - than the other. Getting regular action from multiple guys with the permission/acquiescence of her partner is pretty difficult too as the majority of men would cry foul, so again it's understandable why it's seen as more of a positive, especially with the image of some yahoo pulling his pud in the corner watching same. The same reaction would happen if the sexes were reversed.

If you would evaluate physical violence depending on the context therefore - realising some of it is assault and some of it is consent - then why not emotional too? Consenting to be whipped with words or whipped by leather - what is the difference really when there is consent and even desire?

Fine and off they go, but that doesn't preclude me from thinking they're weirdos. We ALL make value judgements all the time.

Wibbs · 30-01-2019 02:28PM

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Fascinating that this article would get under so many people's skin. given the solidarity I saw when Gillette were perceived to have had a go at men, now some of the same posters having a go at men who are Into a different type of sex.

Oh here you go. Again. You must wear drum skins out at a rapid rate with all the banging.

Here's an article highlighting awareness of a different type of sex that some men enjoy. Instead of celebrating men being encouraged to do as they want with consenting adults, men calling otheren cucks and talking them down.

Apparently according to the article a third of women fantasise about the same thing. If they're actively doing the same thing, inviting other women to hop on their bloke and getting off on the "humiliation" or whatever I'd regard them in the same way. No gender politics required.

30-01-2019 02:28PM

Wibbs wrote: »

Reality isn't always positive, many things and people and behaviours are negative.

100% agreed. But that is not really what the text above was commenting on at all. But as I said your value judgement is just a personal opinion - it does not appear to be grounded in anything meaningful or actual. Nothing wrong with that of course - but pays to call a spade a spade. And a useful distinction here is between cuckolding itself being negative - which I see no reason to think it is especially from your good self - and specific reasons and motivations for it being negative - which many are. But many are positive and healthy too.

Wibbs wrote: »

No deep thinking required.

Yet your explanation does not cover the bit I find interesting. Which is, to take your words "Getting regular action from multiple guys" - seems to be derided in one context and lauded in another.

Sure as you say one is more difficult than the other - but I am more focused on the idea that either shagging loads of people is either the focus of derision or it is not.

Wibbs wrote: »

Fine and off they go, but that doesn't preclude me from thinking they're weirdos. We ALL make value judgements all the time.

Sure I have loads of them myself. But all the ones I am aware of holding I can explain and defend and ground in actual reasoning. That is more the distinction I am making. And as I said there is nothing wrong with a value judgement held for no other reason than emotional bias. But there is also nothing wrong with highlighting when that is all it is or appears to be or the speaker is willing to demonstrate it to be. When you start questioning here whether it is valid to call a man a man - then I can only suspect your definition of "man" is rather unusual and-or limited.

nullzero · 30-01-2019 02:29PM

Why do men who get off on seeing their wife getting fvcked by a "superior" man even get married to begin with?

There's nothing healthy about this "lifestyle", if any decent woman was bring pushed in that direction by her spouse the only healthy thing she could do is get a divorce and go out and find herself a man with some reasonable level of dignity.
It's no coincidence in my mind that this has become an issue after years of saturation of internet porn that some blokes just seem to not be able to handle. Porn is fine, but blurring the lines in your relationship to mirror the experience of watching two people having sex is not what marriage or relationships are about.
Women want their men to be confident assertive and strong, not some pile of flab sitting on a chair in the corner of the bedroom masturbating whilst holding a camera as she gets rode by another man. At that stage the relationship is intrinsically broken.

Wibbs · 30-01-2019 02:37PM

Deleted User wrote: »

100% agreed. But that is not really what the text above was commenting on at all. But as I said your value judgement is just a personal opinion - it does not appear to be grounded in anything meaningful or actual.

I hate to break it you, but for all your right on "measured" responses on such matters, your value judgements are just as much your personal opinions and just as vaguely grounded. You just happen to be convinced you're right, just like everyone else.

Yet your explanation does not cover the bit I find interesting. Which is, to take your words "Getting regular action from multiple guys" - seems to be derided in one context and lauded in another.

It does cover it. In one context it's "easy", i.e. being a "slut" in the other it's "difficult: i.e. being in an apparently committed relationship while getting permission, even being encouraged to get "regular action from multiple guys".

When you start questioning here whether it is valid to call a man a man - then I can only suspect your definition of "man" is rather unusual and-or limited.

Oh I'm "unusual" for suggesting a man(or indeed woman) is more than a little weird or sad if they get their rocks off watching someone else shag their partner? I suggest you'll find mine is the more usual take from both men and women on the matter.

sbsquarepants · 30-01-2019 02:39PM

I think people are far too concerned with the sexual peccadillos of others - I couldn't give a rats arse what anyone else gets up to in the bedroom. If you're into you're into it, if you're not you're not. It really is as simple as that!

I actually had a friend once ask me if I would fúck his girlfriend while he watched - I politely declined. He had what could most diplomatically be described as niche taste in women, I couldn't have rode that thing into battle! If she was more my cup of tea, I probably would have done it.

Once everyone is in agreement, where is the harm?

30-01-2019 02:39PM

nullzero wrote: »

Why do men who get off on seeing their wife getting fvcked by a "superior" man even get married to begin with?

Why not? Why would you not say the same thing about - say - sex toys and aids too? Actually I _have_ seen some guys on forums say they think they should be enough for their wife and that she shouldn't need sex toys too - and would be upset if she wanted one.

Getting married to someone means you want to walk your life path with them together. That _can_ and for many people _does_ include sexual exploration of many types. Including what you describe above.

But remember quite often the other person is not actually "superior" or perceived as "superior" when cuckolding occurs. Rather they play out a fantasy where the person is treated as if they are. Role play. Actually being superior is not a requirement.

nullzero wrote: »

There's nothing healthy about this "lifestyle"

There is nothing unhealthy about it either. Just like many foods are not in themselves called healthy but as a valuable part of a controlled diet - it is not that the cuckolding is itself healthy or unhealthy - but can be a part of, or a symptom of - a relationship that is itself healthy or unhealthy.

I would not say alcohol is healthy for example. I however would not automatically say it is unhealthy either. Rather I would evaluate why any given person is using it and how and to what effect and ends.

nullzero wrote: »

if any decent woman was bring pushed in that direction by her spouse the only healthy thing she could do is get a divorce

The key word there is "pushed". We should not be "pushing" people to do anything. Especially something they do not want. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with discussing new sexual exploration or requesting new sexual exploration with your partner(s).

In fact _not_ being able to do that would be, to my mind, more valid a reason for divorce. If you can not sit down with your partner and say "This idea is interesting to me - would it be something you would like to try with me or help me try?" then I would wonder if you are in the right relationship.

nullzero wrote: »

Women want their men to be confident assertive and strong

And exploring the sexual interests being discussed in this thread does not preclude or negate _any_ of that. That said however I have become convinced over the years that only meaningless white noise follows a sentence starting with "women want" or "men want" as if the entire gender is built off a single template.

Wibbs · 30-01-2019 02:39PM

nullzero wrote: »

Women want their men to be confident assertive and strong, not some pile of flab sitting on a chair in the corner of the bedroom masturbating whilst holding a camera as she gets rode by another man. At that stage the relationship is intrinsically broken.

How dare you NZ!! How dare you think this isn't healthy and normal. You must be re-educated in tolerance for weirdos alternative views.

Feisar · 30-01-2019 02:43PM

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I think people are far too concerned with the sexual peccadillos of others - I couldn't give a rats arse what anyone else gets up to in the bedroom. If you're into you're into it, if you're not you're not. It really is as simple as that!

I actually had a friend once ask me if I would fúck his girlfriend while he watched - I politely declined. He had what could most diplomatically be described as niche taste in women, I couldn't have rode that thing into battle! If she was more my cup of tea, I probably would have done it.

Once everyone is in agreement, where is the harm?

I'm not concerned however it is interesting. I'd like to know where such desires stem from.

On yer second point I don't think I'd be able to preform with some other lad watching.

30-01-2019 02:43PM

Wibbs wrote: »

I hate to break it you, but for all your right on "measured" responses on such matters, your value judgements are just as much your personal opinions and just as vaguely grounded. You just happen to be convinced you're right, just like everyone else.

Except none of that is remotely true at all and I can explain my positions if asked. RAther than ask however you merely leapt to the above fantasy knowing that if you do not actually ask me for the validation of any of my positions, you can pretend there is none. Note however when I twice now questioned whether you had any - you did not act in kind and provide any.

If you think that anything I have said requires further clarity however then be adult about it and ask for some.

Wibbs wrote: »

It does cover it. In one context it's "easy", i.e. being a "slut" in the other it's "difficult: i.e. being in an apparently committed relationship while getting permission, even being encouraged to get "regular action from multiple guys"

Still not covering what I am actually asking though. You are presenting as the explanation for what I am asking, the very thing I am querying. Which is circular. Again - a woman having a large number of sexual partners is either to be derided with words like "slut" or it is not (I personally think it is not). I am not seeing why having relative difficulty in obtaining those partners as being a mediation point for evaluating her having had that number of partners. Either the number of partners is an issue - or it is not.

Wibbs wrote: »

Oh I'm "unusual" for suggesting a man(or indeed woman) is more than a little weird or sad if they get their rocks off watching someone else shag their partner?

You have just blatantly quoted me saying one thing and then pretended I said something _entirely_ different. Nowhere in the text you just quoted did I say _you_ were unusual. You just fabricated it out of nothingness.

Put the straw away. It is not required here.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 30-01-2019 02:48PM

A friend of my mums rode men around town with her husband's permission, it was an open secret. She even started coming on to me on a car journey when I was 17.

My mother told me that he allowed her to do it as long as she stayed with him. He is a weak pathetic figure, the type of lad who was stuffed into lockers by the other boys in school.

I always felt sorry for him, such a loser. His self esteem must have been non existence at that time. No respect from anybody.

He's example of an actual cuckold.

I would categorise the fetishists as something different.

nullzero · 30-01-2019 02:49PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Why not? Why would you not say the same thing about - say - sex toys and aids too? Actually I _have_ seen some guys on forums say they think they should be enough for their wife and that she shouldn't need sex toys too - and would be upset if she wanted one.

Getting married to someone means you want to walk your life path with them together. That _can_ and for many people _does_ include sexual exploration of many types. Including what you describe above.

But remember quite often the other person is not actually "superior" or perceived as "superior" when cuckolding occurs. Rather they play out a fantasy where the person is treated as if they are. Role play. Actually being superior is not a requirement.

There is nothing unhealthy about it either. Just like many foods are not in themselves called healthy but as a valuable part of a controlled diet - it is not that the cuckolding is itself healthy or unhealthy - but can be a part of, or a symptom of - a relationship that is itself healthy or unhealthy.

I would not say alcohol is healthy for example. I however would not automatically say it is unhealthy either. Rather I would evaluate why any given person is using it and how and to what effect and ends.

The key word there is "pushed". We should not be "pushing" people to do anything. Especially something they do not want. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with discussing new sexual exploration or requesting new sexual exploration with your partner(s).

In fact _not_ being able to do that would be, to my mind, more valid a reason for divorce. If you can not sit down with your partner and say "This idea is interesting to me - would it be something you would like to try with me or help me try?" then I would wonder if you are in the right relationship.

And exploring the sexual interests being discussed in this thread does not preclude or negate _any_ of that. That said however I have become convinced over the years that only meaningless white noise follows a sentence starting with "women want" or "men want" as if the entire gender is built off a single template.

Thats a lot of waffle.
Marriage is what marriage is.
Im this day and age there is no pressure for people to get married like in the past, if you want to involve yourself in this behaviour then marriage isn't for you.
I don't feel people shouldn't be allowed to do what they like, but this behaviour is not conducive to marriage, particularly if their are children involved.

In short, stay single, watch other men bang your girlfriend as much as you like, but once you're married you are choosing to be monogamous, it's pretty simple.

30-01-2019 02:50PM

Feisar wrote: »

I'd like to know where such desires stem from.

I think the problem with answering that question is that there are just too many answers to it. I could give you 1 and miss 10. Or give you 10 and miss 1000. There are likely _loads_.

I can tell you mine for example. There are a few. I can tell you some I have read in online articles and interviews with people into this kind of thing. There is loads of those too!

But then I might not even have scratched the surface of how many there may be.

But the negativity it engenders in people judging it is similarly interesting. They can not just say it is not for them or they find it a bit unusual. No they have to question whether the "man" is even a "man" any more. Or when they describe him they have to invent his whole appearance as "some flabby guy in the corner". Pure emotive responses permeate everything they write about it. And that too is interesting.

30-01-2019 02:52PM

I don't understand any of this

CNN Writes Article On Cuckolding | Describe it as "Largely Positive"

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