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At the in-laws..

2»

Comments

  • #52
    SirChenjin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,111 ✭✭✭SirChenjin


    bluewolf wrote: »
    I think it's up to your partner to set the boundaries here and you need to talk to him. I also think you should decrease the number of visits. It's a lot when you're spending nights there at a time.

    How much else is he going to expect you to "go along with" just to keep the mother (assuming) happy? Why doesn't he just "go along with" what you want? You are in a relationship with him, not her, and maybe he should be reminded of it.

    Something to bear in mind for the future, given the current dynamics:

    ^^ loved that piece posted by bluewolf. So true.

    OP, every family I do believe has their own idiosyncrasies but, IMO, this is going beyond mere idiosyncratic behaviour. You are not being too sensitive, and a chat about boundaries with him needs to happen.


  • #53
    dixiefly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,951 ✭✭✭dixiefly


    lulu1 wrote: »
    I wouldn't want anyone going into my room if was a guest and wouldn't think of going into the room i I had guests staying at mine.

    Op I would suggest to your boyfriend about about getting a key for the room door

    +1

    This is what I was going to suggest. Key or you reduce the visits considerably.


  • #54
    splinter65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    dixiefly wrote: »
    +1

    This is what I was going to suggest. Key or you reduce the visits considerably.

    If anyone staying as a guest in my house asked for a key they simply wouldn't be invited again. What on earth is the point in spending the weekend in a house where you have now created a terrible atmosphere.
    If you don't like the hostess then don't accept invitations to stay.
    It's not the boyfriends house. He's a grown man. Either he asks his mother to stay out of the room during your visit or you stay in a hotel/B&B and then you can pay for your privacy.


  • #55
    Fakediamond
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,055 ✭✭✭Fakediamond


    splinter65 wrote: »
    stay in a hotel/B&B and then you can pay for your privacy.

    Except for the chambermaid/maintenance person or any other hotel employee who needs to enter your (their) room!


  • #56
    splinter65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    Fakediamond wrote: »
    Except for the chambermaid/maintenance person or any other hotel employee who needs to enter your (their) room!

    That's true. Ironically the only place you can be sure of privacy is in your own home.
    My home my rules. That's what this thread boils down to really.


  • #57
    iamwhoiam
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,161 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    On the complete other end of the tale here . My son and partner visit from abroad yearly . She is unbelievably untidy in the room , I mean seriously untidy . Nothing minor like the OP but clothes all over the floor and wet towels on a bed etc . Its confined to the room and never in the rest of my house . So I bite my tongue hard and shut the door because I like having them and enjoy that they stay here . I have contemplated saying something but its not worth the risk for me .


  • #58
    splinter65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    iamwhoiam wrote: »
    On the complete other end of the tale here . My son and partner visit from abroad yearly . She is unbelievably untidy in the room , I mean seriously untidy . Nothing minor like the OP but clothes all over the floor and wet towels on a bed etc . Its confined to the room and never in the rest of my house . So I bite my tongue hard and shut the door because I like having them and enjoy that they stay here . I have contemplated saying something but its not worth the risk for me .

    The wet towels on the bed floor or anywhere at all is inexplicable in an adult. I admire you.


  • #59
    iamwhoiam
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,161 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    splinter65 wrote: »
    The wet towels on the bed floor or anywhere at all is inexplicable in an adult. I admire you.

    Yes . Funnily enough it was the one thing I adressed in a diplomatic way . Asked her nicely to hang them on the line as we had a heat wave going on !!


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