The Breast Feeding Support Thread

Lazygal, I don't agree with you that fed is best is a silly phrase, or that it's a formula company phrase, it's possibly used by one, but it's not how I view it. I have two friends who both desperately wanted to BF, and they did give it a go, but for various reasons (mainly down to lack of information/bad advice) they didn't succeed (in their heads). And the guilt they felt for stopping BF early was ridiculous. I'm Pro breastfeed all the way (i really wish the rates in Ireland were higher) and will give any help or advice to anyone that's looking for it, but at the end of the day, as long as mammy and baby are happy and healthy it doesn't really matter whether they are formula or breastfed.

You might not agree with the formula companies ad campaigns (and I don't), but I certainly don't agree with the ad campaign for breastfeed either. I think it does the women of Ireland a major disservice, because it's sold as being the most natural thing in the world, and fairytales and rainbows, and completely avoids anything practical about breastfeeding, or how difficult it can be. It's just not real and sets women up to fail when they do find it difficult, or come across any number of the normal bumps on the road. And because it's not normal to brestfeed here, there isn't the familial support that would be in other cultures that would be able to tell the mother that cluster feeding is normal and doesn't mean baby is hungry. Hell I even got that ****e from my own mother who did brestfeed for 3 months but hid it away from everyone, not once did she ever feed in public even family with 2 babies.

And bee06, I'm with you that it's not fair that pro brestfeeders are classed as Nazis when they try encourage a brestfeeding solution to a brestfeeding problem. There are some women who are so anti formula that they give the rest of us a bad name.

I shouldn't have to feel guilty for brestfeeding, for battling through the first week, where I literally came to within in minutes of jacking it all in, but for the support of my husband and the most wonderful midwife. I shouldn't have to explain why i started brestfeeding, or get kudos from people for doing it. I shouldn't have to explain myself or hide the fact that I'm still nursing at nearly 2, I shouldn't get looks when people realise that my body still produces milk. I shouldn't have to feel guilty about being a brestfeeding mother who succeeded incase someone thinks I'm a brestfeeding nazi, or to attached or whatever.

I'v been thinking about it as well for the last few weeks as I'm on the home stretch of nursing my little girl. Will part of me be happy to stop? Yes. Will I be sad? Yes. Will I miss it? Yes. My breastfeed journey has had few extreme ups and downs at times, but it has been the most wonderful journey, more special that I could ever have imagined. We've nursed on trains, plains, boats, cars, buses, in restaurants, cafes, airports, in front of random strangers as well as family. Boo-boos have been the solution to teething pains and aches, sore knees, bumped heads, sickness, offered comfort during leaps and bad dreams. They have helped her wake up slowly in the morning and helped her fall asleep easy at night. Iv loved it so much and when I think back to how close I came to stopping on day three due to bad advice and attitude from a lactation consultant, it makes me treasure it all the more.

But not for one second do I think I'm a better mother than another woman just because I breastfed my little girl. And the judgment between the two camps is just wrong and puts so much pressure on mother's on both sides who may be struggling with their choice whether it was forced upon them or not.

Sorry that turned into a bit of a rant.

scarepanda wrote: »

And the judgment between the two camps is just wrong and puts so much pressure on mother's on both sides who may be struggling with their choice whether it was forced upon them or not.

That’s a really important point. As mothers we generate so much guilt on put so much pressure on ourselves. We don’t need everyone else to do it as well. Being a mom is hard whatever you do. Your handed this little human with no manual and are supposed to just know what to do.

That’s a brilliant post Waterfaerie!

Haha, I did not expect to get leaky boobs at 29weeks pregnant ;-)!!! Or that they would leak badly once my supply kicked in at 5 days pp (naievty on my part!), or that I'd be wearing breastpads for over a year!

Waterfaerie, that is a brilliant post and I agree with a lot of it. But what I don't agree with is that the alternative to fed is best is starving your baby. That's BS to me. Whos going to think that that's the alternative? For me, as a mother who had awful problems with the PHN over my girls weight gain, I viewed the fed is best saying as a way of helping me through the guilt of possibly having to stop nursing, and viewing myself as a failure, because at the end of the day having a fed happy healthy baby is the most important thing, with an equally happy and healthy mother (including mental health).

What I found judgemental about lazygal posts was the breastfeeding being the one biological way to feed a baby, and yes of course it is, but those types of statements come across to me as being judgemental of mothers who give their baby's formula because they are not feeding them naturally. If I had read that kind of a comment, or had that sort of thing been said to me at 2 and 3 days pp when my girl was on donor milk because she was starving and dehydrated it would have crushed me. I was doing everything in my power to increase my supply and it wasn't happening, I very much doubt I would have had the strength to continue on. Sometimes those types of comments, while made with good intentions can have the wrong impact on mother's who are struggling to keep going. Or even more so for mother's who just weren't able to continue breastfeeding for whatever reason and are giving themselves a hard time over it. Breastfeeding is so much more than just the biological process of a woman's body making milk for their baby. It's also mentally and emotionally exhausting, as I'm sure everyone here will agree with. The guilting by breastfeeding mothers towards those who stop of their free will or not is strong.

But, in my opinion the key to breaking the formula industry's hold over how babies are fed in Ireland is through proper education of all health professionals. All the ****e I went through with my girls weight gain was caused by the PHN. She didn't know her head from her arse with brestfeeding. Her solutions were to bring her in regularly to weigh her without giving me any advice whatsoever about brestfeeding solutions to the 'issue', other than to hint about formula, and her second solution was to put me under pressure to start solids at 17/18 weeks. The PHN couldn't just look at the child in front of her and agree that there was nothing wrong with her, even if she wasn't doing what the charts said she should have been doing - which I was told by both my GP and the pediatrician was perfectly normal and expected of breastfed babies

At the end of the day there are probably 2 if not 3 generations worth of breastfeeding knowledge that just don't exist in Ireland because of the formula industry, so effectively we have to start from the very beginning with our generation and our children's generation. And in my view the only way we can do that is to train all PHNs, midwives, GPs and all other health professionals that will have contact with mother's fully on brestfeeding, it's highs and lows, what's normal and expected and what's not, and possible breastfeeding solutions to brestfeeding problems. We need new mothers to be able to contact their PHN or GP when they are having an issue and be fully confident that they will be offered breastfeeding solutions, with formula only being the last resort. We need trained and supporting lactation consultants to be more accessible for new mothers, even possibly encorporating home visits in the early days similar to the PHN system. The problem is that to implement a proper effective system, it all costs money, and who has the money to do that? Hell even the government pulled it's pityful €50k funding from the national breastfeeding body (or whatever it's called) last year. So how Irish babies are fed is not an issue for our government.

We can blame the formula industry for certain for the way things are, but we cannot blame our mothers and fathers or grandmother's and grandfather's or extended family and friends for suggesting formula as the solution to all brestfeeding problem, because unless you have a very very strong breastfeeding positive support system, the generations ahead of us just don't know any better. All they know with regard to feeding babies is formula and schedules and sleeping full night's and never cluster feeding etc etc etc.

Anyways, that again has turned into an awful rant, I apologise. I just feel so strongly because if it wasn't for the support of my husband and one midwife I'd have jacked it in on day 3, and probably plenty more times since if it wasn't for me being a stubborn witch and trusting my gut regarding my girls weight.

shesty wrote: »

Well I'm happy that my girls think BF is normal, because they've seen me do it and most people that I know.So I hope they continue to to think that.

I'm going to totally change the topic though...I have a very windy little six week old here.He hasn't pooed in two days (this is the third).I know it's normal, but he was doing them once a day up to now, and he has had bottles aswell.And he has so much gas, which is really bothering him, he's crying and bringing up his legs a lot to get it out.We have done the leg cycling etc, but nothing is happening.Any ideas how to help move things on??

Try a massage? Look up ones on youtube.

Would you give him a bath? I found that would relax my little guy if he was slightly constipated and get things moving.

Try eating prunes and other bowel movement inducing foods yourself.

You can take probiotics yourself and they can transfer to milk. I definitely recommend them too