The Breast Feeding Support Thread

hollymartins

We started her at 7 weeks as I didn't want to pump before 6 weeks (that's the advice!) But like you if I had to do it again I would've started earlier. Although our son didn't have these issues when we bottle fed him but every baby is different and she's certainly her own person!

I think she's actually just very cranky in the evening. My husband was late trying the bottle this evening so I nursed her for a few minutes as she was hungry and she cried her eyes out even without a bottle.

I'm going to keep going with it. But out of interest how young is too young for sippy cup? Is it very slow for feeding milk? I would've thought she wouldn't be ready for a cup til she was about 4 months?

bee06

Have ye tried introducing the bottle during the day and getting them used to it that way? Nursing at bedtime is more than the milk I would say, it’s about comfort etc as well so maybe that’s why they are getting upset after drinking some milk?

Pocos

The 6/7 pm feed is her second last one! Her bedtime feed is between 8-9! So takes so little of the bottle it doesn’t interfere with the nighttime feed! There are nuby sippy cups for 4 months plus! To be honest she’s only ok with the sippy cup! Just using cooled boiled water to get used to it!

Well I’m glad someone else would start sooner! I really felt I dropped the ball on this one!!! But hopefully I’ll know better for the next one!

Anne_cordelia

My youngest never took a bottle. I’ve gone out in the evenings, being out with my husband, nights out with the girls and one overnight away. It’s doable. I didn’t bother trying a bottle until 3 months due to potential nipple confusion but I’m just as happy they never took to it.

There is too much emphasis and pressure on stopping babies ‘being reliant’ on their mothers and boob when it’s the most natural thing in the world. The time passes so quickly I wouldn’t be bothered with the stress and annoyance of trying a bottle every night.

I can still put my older ones to bed. The husband just walked/put baby in sling for the 20mins when they were smaller.

hollymartins

That's interesting, and I'm glad to hear its doable but the main reason I want my husband to share the feeds is because I want to do bedtime with our son again as I havent put him to bed in over 10 weeks because our daughter is nursing.

Pocos

I know lots of people don’t put them on bottles but I really was hoping to finish the feeding at 6 months! I know probably not a popular attitude to have with this thread but I’ve done the 9 months of pregnancy, 6 months breast feeding id like to have my body and what I put into it just me! I’d like to try and have a second close enough to this LO so I would like a bit of a break! I know that probably sounds selfish to some people but it’s how I feel! Not gonna happen I’d say the feeding will continue well past the 6 months but 6 months had been my initial plan!

I’ve tried the dinners out, the spa app the lunches and yes very doable but I feel guilty! Knowing that she’s thirsty or hungry at home all because I want to be out! To the point I’ve given up on nights out altogether now! I do a lot of lunches with her with me and I’ve gone back to exercise classes for the head space! I would be just more comfortable while out that she would take a bottle if thirsty is all!! Also have a wedding end of the month and I know she’ll be upstairs and I’ll be up feeding her when I’d love to be downstairs relaxed and having a drink without having to counting hours and drinks to the next feed!

Sorry bit of a rant there! And I love the breast feeding and happy to do it 95% of the time... would just love the bottle for the other 5% is all!!!

Anyway I’ll know for the next one

scarepanda

Ah pocos, it's not a selfish attitude at all. At 6 months old your body has given 15 months of life and sustenance to your baby, it's an amazing feat. So don't feel guilty whatsoever and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for wanting to stop at 6 months.

Your so close to starting solids, I honestly wouldn't stress over getting her to take a traditional bottle. My girl never took them properly, I would honestly start giving her liquids in beakers and use those as your bottle. I think it would be less hassle for you in the long run as you'll be starting her on beakers very soon anyways even if you get her onto bottles.

My girl is nearly 2, and I still feel guilty leaving her for too long, I don't know if that ever fully goes away when they are so tiny! For what it's worth, if you do end up feeding after 6 months, I found the whole experience changed for me once solids had started. Because I wasn't the main food source and if I was away and baby got hungry then there were other alternatives to keeping her full at that stage so it wasn't as full on or stressful. We're still nursing at 22 months, once a day at bedtime and for me, it's very special. It's hard to explain. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty or big myself up or anything, I just want to let you know that solids were a big turning point for me and you do start to get your body back to some degree.

lazygal

My second refused all attempts at a bottle, didn't want what we tried. It was a pain but then he started solids and we kept going and I only weaned him when he turned 4.5 yrs because I'm pregnant again. I really hated those six months and only enjoyed maternity leave once I was able to get some time away from him!

Pocos

Thanks ladies! Lazy gal that is Amazing doing it for 4.5 years but I personally wouldn’t want to last that long! I hoping to be done as soon as I can!

No one is making me feel guilty probably just me myself making me feel guilty! Yes I had heard it gets easier after solids! But I suppose I’m not keeping going out of choice, so it’s a bit different! Anyway what will be will be I just have to roll with it!! Thanks ladies for all the advice!

hollymartins

My issue aswell is some people say wait til she's on solids but first time around my son was impossible when it came to solids, he didn't eat anything until he was about one when he finally accepted porridge and yogurt. So from 7 months (when I stopped breastfeeding to return to work) to well over a year he still needed 4 bottles during the day, there's no way I could pump that!

bee06

I can’t remember if it was recommended already but the below bottle is recommended by moms in a Facebook group I’m in. They’re expensive but a lot say it was the only bottle their babies would take.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B005ZFFDMU/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1529432945&sr=8-2&keywords=mimijumi&dpPl=1&dpID=41pEY3%2B4J1L&ref=plSrch

shesty

Pocos, I can tell you now that no matter when you stop, you will feel guilty.It's partially the hormones, I think.Have been through it twice and now on a third, and the guilt is there.....

Hollymartins I get what you're saying.Honestly, hats off to anyone who BF long term.I am at six weeks on number three and ready to throw in the towel.As someone else said, I kind of just want my body back now, it was a long, fairly tough pregnancy and I want to go back to being a mother for my other two kids, who are still small....doing bedtime etc for them.I love my baby more than anything, but while I had incredible guilt thinking about stopping ony second (and I didn't go muuch longer with her), this time round I kind of feel I've had enough already.He's a big baby too, and keeping him fed is a lot of feeds, which is fine, but .....I have two others too.It's tough but at the end of the day it's your decision and yours alone.

bee06

Just saw this post on Instagram by a lactation consultant that I follow. Thought those of you pumping for a bedtime feed might find it interesting

Anne_cordelia

Just on the whole getting your body back - I really don’t do anything different because I’m breastfeeding. I drink, I eat what I want. I’m lucky that I haven’t needed meds so that’s not an issue. There is no need to restrict yourselves. But each to their own. I’m finding it so much easier than formula feeding (FF the oldest) at this later stage. The early days are tough but there is such a reward by the time they are older.

bee06

Anne_cordelia wrote: »

Just on the whole getting your body back - I really don’t do anything different because I’m breastfeeding. I drink, I eat what I want. I’m lucky that I haven’t needed meds so that’s not an issue. There is no need to restrict yourselves. But each to their own. I’m finding it so much easier than formula feeding (FF the oldest) at this later stage. The early days are tough but there is such a reward by the time they are older.

Loads of medications are perfectly safe to take while breastfeeding even if uneducated GP’s and pharmacists say otherwise. This is a great starting point to check. Wendy Jones is a pharmacist who is an expert in breastfeeding and medications. The Lactmed app is also good to check.

https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/drugs-factsheets/

shesty

Anne_cordelia wrote: »

Just on the whole getting your body back - I really don’t do anything different because I’m breastfeeding. I drink, I eat what I want. I’m lucky that I haven’t needed meds so that’s not an issue. There is no need to restrict yourselves. But each to their own. I’m finding it so much easier than formula feeding (FF the oldest) at this later stage. The early days are tough but there is such a reward by the time they are older.

It's not really that for me, it's more the "touched out" feeling....I know it doesn't affect lots of people but it seems to affect me.And just the leaking (specially at night), tender breasts (because he's pulling on and off a LOT), and that.....it's not big things but all in all it just adds up to feeling like I want my body back to me.
To be honest, my little guy was a big baby and is almost a stone in weight (at six weeks)......he feeds a lot during the day and I find it tough going so I have introduced an extra bottle to top him up.I'd like to keep going longer with the BF, but I just can't do it exclusively for him.

He seems to be ok with that :-) And each to their own, as you say.

rainbow kirby

I'm nearly 5 months in with #2 and the feeling of being touched out is a killer. It's really making me want to stop BF at this stage, I just feel done. I've been non-stop either pregnant or breastfeeding for 3 years and I'm just worn out.

Pocos

Anne_cordelia wrote: »

Just on the whole getting your body back - I really don’t do anything different because I’m breastfeeding. I drink, I eat what I want. I’m lucky that I haven’t needed meds so that’s not an issue. There is no need to restrict yourselves. But each to their own. I’m finding it so much easier than formula feeding (FF the oldest) at this later stage. The early days are tough but there is such a reward by the time they are older.

I drink but I do try and count the hours so it is out of my system! Now I do eat and drink but I suppose i feel like I’m always on call! And if I get pregnant again then you are back watching what you eat and do! I’d like a small break in between!


As for our posters what does “touched out” mean? I’ve never heard of the phrase!

rainbow kirby

Just when you've had so many little hands on you all day that you can't stand it any more.

Anne_cordelia

Urgh I totally get touched out. Husband bears the brunt of that one!! Unfortunately I make clingy babies who don’t like rockers/baskets/bouncers so regardless of feeding method, they are always in arms. Every shower for the first 8 months of my oldest’s life had the back drop of a crying baby. It wasn’t easy. Thankfully the others are more relaxed once they could sit up themselves. The 4-6 month period on all babies (ff and bf) nearly broke me. I never want to experience that again! Good luck with whatever ye decide. All breastfeeding is an achievement. But I just find it a breeze from 6 months and I never thought I would say that.

Anne_cordelia

Oh and time to yourself with baby handed over to daddy is essential. Your brain needs to be able to switch off. Morning is daddy time here.

catrionanic

Well done to all the BF mamas! It can be tough, especially in the early days when they feed a lot, but I echo what anne_cordelia said about it getting much easier when they’re a few months old.

I’m really excited to bf again. I stopped in March because I’m pregnant again, but I sometimes still ask my wee man whether he wants “milkies” to see the reaction (total confusion... he has zero memory of the boob at all!). I fed him for 13 months but am hoping to go longer on this one. Although it is hard to constantly be pregnant or feeding for years on end!

Best part of stopping BFing for me was being able to leave him for a few nights with his grandparents or let his dad take him away to see the other side of the family for a few days, so I could get a rest! And no more pumping. God, I hate pumping.

rainbow kirby

Hubby was in work 7:30am to 7:30pm and then went running last night. I also bedshare with my 2 year old and have the baby in the Chicco Next2Me beside the bed. I have very little time to myself at all.

I fed my older son for nearly 16 months. I was delighted to stop when I did because pregnant breastfeeding is awful.

shesty

The touched-out feeling is probably worse when you have other kids, they are on top of you aswell - so between the BF baby, and the others climbing on you and hanging out of you, it can drive you demented. I have serious personal space issues normally anyway - I like my personal space!! Our eldest is particularly - physical. She is on me constantly when I sit down, just banging off me, climbing around beside me, constantly trying to touch the baby. It feels like I'm under attack! RK I don't know how you're doing it. I definitely believe in the 4th trimester, so we do slings and he's in our bed a bit at night (starts the night in his own bed) and whatever, I'll introduce a more solid routine around 10/12 weeks. But BF long term, it's not for me I'm afraid.

Anyway, I'm dragging the thread off topic here, just wanted to say it's ok to feel you want to introduce a bottle, be it for pumped milk or formula, if it works for you.

scarepanda

Every mother should choose a feeding method/routine that works best for them and their family, whether it be exclusive breast feeding, combi or formula feeding. The most important thing is to have a happy mammy, happy baby and happy family. Struggling through breastfeeding just because 'its the best thing for baby' does not mean it is in the long run if mammy isn't happy.

No-one should be made feel less because of how they feed their babies. I think formula feeders feel under pressure to explain why they are not breastfeeding in the early days, while breastfeeding mothers (and this is from personal experience) feel like they need to explain why they are still nursing when newborn gets older and hits toddler age. no matter your decision you'll always come across someone who will question why your feeding a baby by a certain method.

For me personally, I never planned to nurse this long. I think my initial target was to get to three months and then 6 and then..... Well it got extended to 2 yrs, but it took me a long time to admit that to anyone, even my husband, not that he gives a fiddler's either way. I get asked randomly by people if I'm still nursing and I get a look when I say I do and then I feel like I need to explain why I still am. And what bugs me, is that no-one would bat an eye lid at a 2 year old still on a bottle, but find it strange that another 2 year old may nurse once a day.

Pocos

Wow never heard that touched out phrase but it makes total sense! And yes with More than one baby I can see how it would happen!

Scarepanda I think you are so right! No matter what you do,formula at first why, still breast feed at a year why?? Like I’ve heard different places fed is best! And I’d like to think all mums are trying to do what’s best for their babies and themselves so why is it anyone else’s business! It’s mad isn’t it?! You feel you can’t do right sometimes!!!

scarepanda

Fed is best! For certain! Wouldn't it be great if we could all support each other in the trials and tribulations of rearing a baby? There's pros and cons to both ways after all.

lazygal

Fed is best is a silly phrase, what's the alternative, starving your child?

There is one biologically normal way to feed a baby, which is breastfeeding. There are safe substitutes for it but I won't fall into the trap of using formula companies' slogans designed to undermine breastfeeding rates and push the use of formula.

bee06

I think the whole breastfeeding culture in Ireland and the U.K. is just so f*cked up.

I totally support a mother’s right to make an informed choice about breastfeeding and when it’s right for them to stop etc. Personally, I’m hoping to get to 1 and then see where we’ll go from there. I can’t imagine being an extended breastfeeder (even though I suppose a lot of people would consider past 6 month extended).

What really bothers me is that a lot of women don’t have the opportunity to make an informed decision because of the last of support and misinformation about BF. 45% of women never try at all based on a recent study. So many give up in the first 6 weeks because they don’t understand what normal BF baby behaviour is, and let’s face it, it’s hard enough to get though the first 6 weeks when you do understand what is normal. Or thinking that you have to move baby onto follow on formula at 6 months because all the formula companies are saying babies need “a new experience” or whatever the add says. Then if you try and give support you are a breastfeeding nazi or whatever.

Then it’s the lack of support from family. I’m part of a Facebook group and some of the stories break my heart. Women being told they are disgusting for breastfeeding an 8 month old, having family members give bottles of formula against their wishes, being told they are starving their baby because it’s cluster feeding. How is anyone supposed to have confidence in their body and choice when their own mother or MIL is telling them they are starving their baby! I come from a family of breastfeeders and didn’t even know that kind of thing happened until I started joining BF groups.

Sorry, that’s a bit of a rant, it’s just some thing I’ve been thinking a lot about recently because I have a friend due soon who told me she’ll give BF a go and I want to try and support her but I’m finding it hard to know how to do that without her feeling like I’m putting pressure on her.

Cakerbaker

bee06 wrote: »

Sorry, that’s a bit of a rant, it’s just some thing I’ve been thinking a lot about recently because I have a friend due soon who told me she’ll give BF a go and I want to try and support her but I’m finding it hard to know how to do that without her feeling like I’m putting pressure on her.

Totally get this, I’m in the middle of it with a friend. She ff her first but decided to try to bf her second. It has gone relatively smoothly but with the usual little hiccups that are perfectly normal for bf but she’s used to formula so doesn’t see them as normal. I’m just always there in the background saying that’s not an issue, that’s normal, here’s a link. Her partner keeps wanting to help by giving a bottle cos that’s what he’s used to from their first, he feels bad that she has to do all the feeds, especially at night, and I feel like the baddy saying try to get to 6 weeks first!!! It’s a delicate balance trying to provide support without being seen to be pushy and without being negative about what’s been normalized by formula, especially seeing as she ff her first!