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Took my shot with the girl from work - now my head is spinning

  • 02-06-2018 1:21pm
    #1
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭


    Original thread here https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057876222

    Mods, I know there was problems with the last thread but I'm asking you to keep this one open, at least for a while anyway. Thanks.

    So basically, I fell big time for a girl at work who is taken. My plan was to take her out, buy her a few drinks and then go in for a kiss. Well last night I put my plan into action and it worked. We spent an amazing night at my place, really one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

    So this morning, as she's leaving, she gives me the saddest little smile I've even seen. I kiss her and tell her it'll be ok.

    Later I message her to see how she is and she replied she hasn't stopped crying since she got home, she can't believe she cheated, she would never do this but for the alcohol (hmm). So I replied back she needs to be an adult about this and that I really like and she should leave her boyfriend (don't tell him about me) and come over to mine tonight. Her reply was she needs time to think.

    So here I am going out of my mind with anxiety. I went out earlier and bought some wine just to take the edge off. Anyone got any advice on what I should do? Anything at all?


«1

Comments

  • #2
    ligerdub
    Registered Users Posts: 2,584 ✭✭✭ligerdub


    Stop being selfish for one thing.


  • #3
    Sephiroth_dude
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 81,016 Mod ✭✭✭✭Sephiroth_dude


    Ahhh sure god love ya,Leave her alone! that's what you do, she already has a boyfriend! Scummy thing what you did.


  • #4
    Guffy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,202 ✭✭✭Guffy


    Man your an ass.


  • #5
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    It's easy to judge, but when you're in love it's another story. I'm tempted to text her again or call.


  • #6
    Sephiroth_dude
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 81,016 Mod ✭✭✭✭Sephiroth_dude


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    It's easy to judge, but when you're in love it's another story. I'm tempted to text her again or call.

    In love really? Leave her alone FFS!


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  • #7
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    Sephiroth_dude wrote: »
    In love really? Leave her alone FFS!

    Yeah it is love. I've never felt about a girl the way I do about her. She's perfect.


  • #8
    zapper55
    Registered Users Posts: 684 ✭✭✭zapper55


    You should take a good hard look at why you put your needs ahead of someone you supposedly love. That's not love buddy.

    Her life is destroyed and all you can think about is shagging her tonight. If you had any respect for her you wouldn't have gone near her.

    I hope when you are in an actual relationship with someone you love that the same doesn't happen to you by another guy.

    I really really hope this is a wind up, otherwise the poor girl.


  • #9
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    zapper55 wrote: »
    You should take a good hard look at why you put your needs ahead of someone you supposedly love. That's not love buddy.

    Her life is destroyed and all you can think about is shagging her tonight. If you had any respect for her you wouldn't have gone near her.

    I hope when you are in an actual relationship with someone you love that the same doesn't happen to you by another guy.

    I really really hope this is a wind up, otherwise the poor girl.

    I didn't force her to do anything. We were already close, had got drunk together a number of times before, just us. It's obvious she feels the same way about me.


  • #10
    splinter65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    Somewhere today there’s a guy probably looking forward to seeing his gf tonight and he has no idea that she slept with a work colleague last night when she was drunk and is sitting crying with guilt now.

    <Snip> Do not post links to videos.


  • #11
    Mam of 4
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,173 ✭✭✭✭Mam of 4


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    I didn't force her to do anything. We were already close, had got drunk together a number of times before, just us. It's obvious she feels the same way about me.

    If it's obvious she feels the same way about you , then why was she upset this morning ...


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  • #12
    Franz Von Peppercorn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,070 ✭✭✭Franz Von Peppercorn


    Mam of 4 wrote: »
    If it's obvious she feels the same way about you , then why was she upset this morning ...

    Because she cheated I suppose...


  • #13
    Exclamation Marc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,674 ✭✭✭✭Exclamation Marc


    "She wouldn't have done it but for the alcohol"

    Says it all there really.


  • #14
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    Mam of 4 wrote: »
    If it's obvious she feels the same way about you , then why was she upset this morning ...

    Well I suppose the guilt kicked in big time. The hangover won't have helped with that.


  • #15
    Arrival
    Closed Accounts Posts: 779 ✭✭✭Arrival


    So she's proven she's capable of cheating on a partner and can't be truly loyal. You're both losers in this situation. What happens down the line when you're in a relationship and the butterflies die down and you settle down with each other and she's going out with other people for events and such. Do you think you won't be recalling her behaviour here and questioning when, not if, she's going to do the same to you? Pathetic behaviour all around, I'd hate to know both of you. But good luck, enjoy the 'love' while it lasts

    Hope this slut is at least decent enough to be honest with her boyfriend so he can move on from her with dignity


  • #16
    TomOnBoard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,121 ✭✭✭TomOnBoard


    There'll be more than yer head spinning after she tells the boyfriend! As she will, because she was so upset this morning either because of what she did or what you did.

    As I said on the other thread, the whole approach is an ugly mix of the ways Bill Cosby and Donald Trump treat women. Pathetic misogyny


  • #17
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    This all seems like a windup, especially considering the original thread. But let's run with it for now...

    OP, I thought the big night was planned for tonight (Saturday)?!

    Also, if your premeditated plan was to get the girl drunk, then I'd be concerned about consentual issues in the future if this is your modus operandi...


  • #18
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    TomOnBoard wrote: »

    As I said on the other thread, the whole approach is an ugly mix of the ways Bill Cosby and Donald Trump treat women. Pathetic misogyny

    No it's not.


  • #19
    bee06
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    If you actually love her, put her needs ahead of yours and leave her alone to sort herself out like she asked.


  • #20
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    bee06 wrote: »
    If you actually love her, put her needs ahead of yours and leave her alone to sort herself out like she asked.

    Yeah I'm going to give her some space.


  • #21
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,302 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    WTF are you doing on boards OP?

    Everyone said your approach was that of an ash*le on the last thread. Why are you back, looking for some virtual high fives?

    You'll get a smack in the gob someday over behavior like this. Mightn't be today or this girl's bf but keep going on like this and it'll come to you.


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  • #22
    ConnyMcDavid
    Registered Users Posts: 229 ✭✭ConnyMcDavid


    You should delete these threads OP because it could all go wrong if she reads them. You've got the whole scenario spelled out and links to corresponding threads.

    You would have regretted not trying your best. It's not often you meet someone special and it's just bad timing that she had a bf when ye met. She isnt married and no kids so I would go for it at this stage.


  • #23
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    Personally speaking if I got with someone that was to my knowledge already in a relationship, I could never see any future with them.

    If they cheated once who is to say the next person that shows a bit of interest in them won't end up in bed with them.


  • #24
    dudara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    OP - when you think about it, deliberately getting her drunk was a sh*tty thing to do. You knew it would soften her up, make her more amenable to your approaches. It’s kind of predatory behaviour really.

    If you truly thought she would return your advances, you’d do it sober.

    My advice, leave her alone. If there’s anything between you at all, it will still be there in time.


  • #25
    ConnyMcDavid
    Registered Users Posts: 229 ✭✭ConnyMcDavid


    Pint of milk... wrote: »
    OP, I thought the big night was planned for tonight (Saturday)?!

    ...

    Yeah I read Saturday on the last thread too.


  • #26
    Dtp1979
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,861 ✭✭✭✭Dtp1979


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    She's perfect.

    Would a perfect girl have sex with a guy behind her boyfriends back?
    I don’t know whos worse, you or her. Ah no I do, it’s you.


  • #27
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,428 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    Most of us can understand falling for someone who is already taken, but premeditated plying of her with drink to do the dirty deed is a pure sign of an utter ar$ehole. Her crying this morning is a sure sign that doesn't feel the same and is probably ashamed of herself for jumping I to your dirty sack of a bed. Utter regret is what she feels, not love for you.


  • #28
    Mr.Crinklewood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,529 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Crinklewood


    Interesting. ..


  • #29
    Rmgblue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 307 ✭✭Rmgblue


    This was ACTUALLY posted by another on the previous thread...

    If you do it drunk there is a good chance she will regret it immediately after or put it down to the alcohol, or chicken out of breaking up with her bf.. as you'd say yourself, man up and say it to her sober


  • #30
    Westernyelp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,399 ✭✭✭Westernyelp


    Scummy behaviour on your part OP. Karma's a bitch, hope it catches up with you soon


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  • #31
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    Ughh... this is just gross.

    Ply her with alcohol... Yeah, that's love...


  • #32
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    Pint of milk... wrote: »
    This all seems like a windup, especially considering the original thread. But let's run with it for now...

    OP, I thought the big night was planned for tonight (Saturday)?!

    I'm leaning towards this explanation too


  • #33
    afkasurfjunkie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 781 ✭✭✭afkasurfjunkie


    If she went to the guards and cried rape due to being drunk would you be so proud of yourself then op?


  • #34
    HONKEY TONK
    Closed Accounts Posts: 779 ✭✭✭HONKEY TONK


    I for one will look forward to the OP,s next thread titled

    "I suspect my new girlfriend cheated on me"

    Myself and most others will enjoy the following moment

    "If you look closely you can actually pinpoint the exact moment his heart breaks in two.”

    WHUvhiH.gif


  • #35
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,302 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    HONKEY TONK wrote:
    I for one will look forward to the OP,s next thread titled

    Nah. It'll be looking for legal advice after getting a clip which was totally unprovoked.


  • #36
    waffleman
    Registered Users Posts: 580 ✭✭✭waffleman


    There are mugs like the OP in every town - sniffin round other peoples partners then thinkin theyve won the lotto if anythin happens.

    Even if they get a relationship out of it they still lose because when its all bills and nappies they are standin in corners of bars with big sour faces thinkin shes eyein up someone else all the time. What these dummies dont realise is that in the long run its always important how a relationship starts.


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  • #37
    TomOnBoard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,121 ✭✭✭TomOnBoard


    Tell me how wrote: »
    Nah. It'll be looking for legal advice after getting a clip which was totally unprovoked.

    Wont be a thread.. Unless he gets someone to type it up for him.. In which case: " How do I create threads on Boards with two broken arms?"


  • #38
    sexmag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭sexmag


    Intentionally getting a girl drunk to sleep with her is rape, plain and simple.

    I really hope she A, Calls the guards and B, finds these threads so they can be used against you in court.

    I won't result to name calling but you are a see you next Tuesday


  • #39
    fiveleavesleft
    Registered Users Posts: 221 ✭✭fiveleavesleft


    Noticed you use the word "adult" quite a lot on boards. Any issue/disagreement you bluntly use it "be an adult", "like an adult". You did it again to the girl this morning when she was upset. Admonishing her to grow up, ditch her bf & come round yours for a bunk up. Curiously in your advice to her you were quick telling her "keep my name out of it!"

    Isn't the point of adulthood responsibility. Yet you've dodged it twice. Honesty? pfft nah ply her full of drink instead then haughtily pass the responsibility onto her. Now encourage her to wreck her relationship but its "nothing to with me"!

    Your one of these high nosers who scoff at others failings & foibles yet if you yourself have an issue you prefer to creep, skulk in the shadows plot, scheme & cause trouble.


  • #40
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    A couple of points to make having read over the responses so far.

    The plan was to meet Saturday, that got changed to Friday. Secondly the idea that I am taking advantage is ridiculous. The 'plying' of alcohol I did was to buy her a shot to celebrate her new job. She is a woman in her mid twenties, not a child.

    More importantly she finally got back to me. Said she really likes me and wants to make a go of it. Yes!

    So now she has to tell the bf. She said she'll tell him what happened. I suggested she just say she's tired of the relationship but she wants to be honest.

    Anyway I'm glad I went for it. It's going to be a good summer.


  • #41
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    sexmag wrote: »
    Intentionally getting a girl drunk to sleep with her is rape, plain and simple.

    I really hope she A, Calls the guards and B, finds these threads so they can be used against you in court.

    I won't result to name calling but you are a see you next Tuesday

    Such a puritanical attitude. By your logic half the male population of Ireland would be in jail.


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  • #42
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,302 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    A Pint of Goo wrote:
    Anyway I'm glad I went for it. It's going to be a good summer.

    Not for bf it isn't.

    I've just checked Paddy Power. Odds ye ending the summer together are long.


  • #43
    Katgurl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,144 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    He said they went out drinking, he didn't say he poured alcohol down her throat, he didn't say she was falling down drunk. He fancies her, he took his shot, he doesn't know the boyfriend.

    OP is not the devil he is being painted as here.

    However, she has been flirting, out drinking and now cheating with you. She's untrustworthy, needy, attention-seeking.

    There is nothing you can do now except wait. And by her reaction she won't leave him because now she's got even more attention than she had before. If she does eventually leave him for you then you'll always be wondering what she's up to.

    Btw, I'm speaking from experience. I was once (a long long time ago) that attentionention seeking tw@t. I ended up with neither of them.

    If at all possible, forget about her.


  • #44
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    Katgurl wrote: »
    He said they went out drinking, he didn't say he poured alcohol down her throat, he didn't say she was falling down drunk. He fancies her, he took his shot, he doesn't know the boyfriend.

    OP is not the devil he is being painted as here.

    I appreciate you saying that.


  • #45
    endacl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,382 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Were you not perma-banned a few days ago?


  • #46
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,425 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »

    So now she has to tell the bf. She said she'll tell him what happened. I suggested she just say she's tired of the relationship but she wants to be honest.

    Anyway I'm glad I went for it. It's going to be a good summer.

    Why did you suggest she not tell him about sleeping with you? Do you know the guy?


  • #47
    sexmag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭sexmag


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    Such a puritanical attitude. By your logic half the male population of Ireland would be in jail.

    Most males don't premeditate their attempts to **** a girl they like by opening threads about it and then say theyll get her drunk.

    Most woman are out drinking yes but you intentionally mentioned you were going to do it.

    Well done for destroying a relationship (she's also not blameless) but you planned this out and that makes you worse.

    Mike Myers as Austin powers wouldn't sleep with Liz Hurley as Vanessa Kensington because she was drunk and he was a down right sex deviant.

    Says a lot about you and if she cheated on her by with you nothing will stop her cheating on you with another guy, well done you've got a keeper there


  • #48
    A Pint of Goo
    Site Banned Posts: 218 ✭✭A Pint of Goo


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    Why did you suggest she not tell him about sleeping with you? Do you know the guy?

    No, never met. I figure it's less painful for him if she lies.


  • #49
    waffleman
    Registered Users Posts: 580 ✭✭✭waffleman


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    A couple of points to make having read over the responses so far.

    The plan was to meet Saturday, that got changed to Friday. Secondly the idea that I am taking advantage is ridiculous. The 'plying' of alcohol I did was to buy her a shot to celebrate her new job. She is a woman in her mid twenties, not a child.

    More importantly she finally got back to me. Said she really likes me and wants to make a go of it. Yes!

    So now she has to tell the bf. She said she'll tell him what happened. I suggested she just say she's tired of the relationship but she wants to be honest.

    Anyway I'm glad I went for it. It's going to be a good summer.

    Post an update in this thread again in a year - long road ahead for you after the honeymoon period.


  • #50
    sexmag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭sexmag


    A Pint of Goo wrote: »
    No, never met. I figure it's less painful for him if she lies.

    Why do you care about his pain? You F****d his gf


  • #51
    begbysback
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,910 ✭✭✭begbysback


    This story sure does raise the fear an insecurities of some people on here.

    Single guy takes a shot at a non-single girl because she has shown interest and the guy is the villain in this?

    Fair play op - I wouldn't be of the opinion that anyone should be obliged to remain in a relationship if it's not the wishes of that person, man or woman - due to catholic influences throughout the years many marriages have gone on for much longer than they should have - hopefully that will change, though reading through this thread makes me think that the majority of people are still caught up in the ideal one partner for life.


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