The Breast Feeding Support Thread

Millem · 03-05-2018 12:02PM

catrionanic wrote: »

If you’re sure he’s not hungry, maybe trying sending Daddy in? My wee man always clung to me and wanted milk as soon as he saw me, but settled much easier for his dad.

Daddy slept in spare room!!!

fits · 03-05-2018 12:31PM

I always just feed if they look for it as it’s quickest way to send them back to sleep.

bee06 · 03-05-2018 12:50PM

Millem wrote: »

Hi all,

My baby is teething like mad. Night time is a disaster amd wakes up every two hours! If i feed him he takes it and will go back to sleep. I don’t think he’s hungry it’s just for comfort as won’t feed for long.
Am I developing a bad habit??
He is 8 and a bit months with one little tooth half up!
Thanks

There is a sleep regression around 8 months so it might not be the best time to try and break the feed to sleep habit.

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/amp/

I’m only 4 month in (and not enjoying the 4 month sleep regression) but I’m part of a Facebook group for moms who feed older babies and toddlers and the general consensus is if feeding gets them back to sleep quickly don’t mess with it and that cosleeping really helps you get more sleep. If you think the Facebook group might be helpfully let me know and I’ll pm the name.

waterfaerie · 03-05-2018 08:30PM

Millem, don't worry about developing bad habits. You're doing what's natural and there's nothing bad about that. As others have said, if feeding him back to sleep is working, that's great so there's no need to change it.

Are you co sleeping? It's great because as the babies get older they can just help themselves. My daughter still sometimes has a feed during the night but I barely even wake up. I only rouse enough to realise she's latching herself on and I just let her at it and drift back off.

She goes through phases like you're describing when she's teething but it only lasts a few nights and then she's back to her usual self. Sometimes a developmental leap can cause it as well. It won't last forever so don't worry.

Millem · 03-05-2018 08:57PM

waterfaerie wrote: »

Millem, don't worry about developing bad habits. You're doing what's natural and there's nothing bad about that. As others have said, if feeding him back to sleep is working, that's great so there's no need to change it.

Are you co sleeping? It's great because as the babies get older they can just help themselves. My daughter still sometimes has a feed during the night but I barely even wake up. I only rouse enough to realise she's latching herself on and I just let her at it and drift back off.

She goes through phases like you're describing when she's teething but it only lasts a few nights and then she's back to her usual self. Sometimes a developmental leap can cause it as well. It won't last forever so don't worry.

no not co sleeping! but last night put him on the bed beside at maybe 5am and we fell asleep until older boy came in at 7am!
I am a bit nervous of having him in the bed with my pillows! I should really look into the guidelines

waterfaerie · 03-05-2018 09:34PM

Yeah, as long as you follow the "safe sleep seven" guidelines there's nothing to worry about.

hollymartins · 05-05-2018 05:32PM

Ladies my little girl is nearly 4 weeks old, I breastfed her brother and she's more demanding at night. She could feed for two hours then only sleep for 90 mins before waking up screaming for more. Sometimes I wonder if I have enough milk for her, last night she constantly switched back and forth from each breast after only five mins and didn't seem satisfied with the amount she was getting.

I don't think I had this issue first time around. I know some women have topped up their supply with formula if they have a hungry baby but I want to avoid that.

comongethappy · 05-05-2018 07:42PM

hollymartins wrote: »

Ladies my little girl is nearly 4 weeks old, I breastfed her brother and she's more demanding at night. She could feed for two hours then only sleep for 90 mins before waking up screaming for more. Sometimes I wonder if I have enough milk for her, last night she constantly switched back and forth from each breast after only five mins and didn't seem satisfied with the amount she was getting.

I don't think I had this issue first time around. I know some women have topped up their supply with formula if they have a hungry baby but I want to avoid that.

How are her nappies? Is she getting plenty wet and dirty? If so then at least she should be getting enough, you could check her weight gain with phn or doc just to be sure.

It could also be an issue with latch or tongue tie where she is not able to feed efficiently. It may be best to see a lactation consultant or cuidiu / lll leader to see if they can spot any issues.

Also, is your health OK? I struggled with supply on my first when I was extremely anemic, it took weeks to get a decent supply.

The other thing it could be is a spurt if this is not her normal night time feeding behaviour. My son was over 2 weeks overdue and I found his 6 week spurt came around when he was 4 weeks.

If all of above is OK, it is still very early days and she could just be working to up supply.

waterfaerie · 05-05-2018 08:26PM

hollymartins wrote: »

Ladies my little girl is nearly 4 weeks old, I breastfed her brother and she's more demanding at night. She could feed for two hours then only sleep for 90 mins before waking up screaming for more. Sometimes I wonder if I have enough milk for her, last night she constantly switched back and forth from each breast after only five mins and didn't seem satisfied with the amount she was getting.

I don't think I had this issue first time around. I know some women have topped up their supply with formula if they have a hungry baby but I want to avoid that.

That sounds perfectly normal for an almost 4 week old. This is the time when your baby is busy building up your supply. They also go through growth spurts and cluster feeding is common, especially at night time as that's when your prolactin levels are highest. My baby was a night time feeder as well. I just watched films all night while she fed and I used to nap in the day whenever she napped.

I'd say either you were particularly lucky with her brother or you might have forgotten the intensity of the first few weeks. Either way, you should try not to compare them as all babies are different.

There is no such thing as a "hungry baby". Unless there is a rare medical reason, all women can produce exactly enough milk for their own baby's needs. I know it's hard work and it's so easy to doubt your milk supply when your baby is acting like that but try to remind yourself that you're doing great, you're doing the best thing for your baby and the difficult times will pass.

Remember also that there is a breastfeeding friendly solution to almost every breastfeeding problem. You know your baby and your own instinct best and if you are concerned that there may actually be a problem, I'd advise you to get a lactation consultant, preferably an IBCLC. They will do a full assessment and, if there is an issue, they will help you find the breastfeeding friendly solution and put a plan in place. Most of them also offer excellent follow up to make sure they help you succeed.

In the meantime, if you can, try to get to a breastfeeding group. Not only are they fantastic for advice and support, they're great for socialising with other mums. They were what kept me going in those early weeks.

waterfaerie · 05-05-2018 08:41PM

comongethappy wrote: »

How are her nappies? Is she getting plenty wet and dirty? If so then at least she should be getting enough, you could check her weight gain with phn or doc just to be sure.

Keep an eye on the wet nappies, yes, but the dirty ones aren't as important. Also, keep an eye on her general temperament. If she's happy and alert and has plenty of wet nappies, there's more than likely no issue.

Please don't go down the route of worrying about her weight. It will only cause you stress and weight "concerns" are one of the main reasons a lot of women end up giving formula unnecessarily.

Also, please don't rely on your PHN to give you the right advice. I know some of them are great but they are in the minority. If you are concerned at all, go straight for the IBCLC. They are the only ones who can be trusted to definitely give you the right help, as opposed to the hit and miss PHN or GP service.

scarepanda · 05-05-2018 09:35PM

I agree with everything that has been said above. Especially what waterfaerie said regarding weight and PHN advice. From experience, if baby is gaining constantly, then there is probably very little to worry about. PHNs are not always fully up to date with information and don't always have breastfeeding solutions to breastfeeding issues. If you have any doubt or concerns about the advice your getting please seek a second opinion. I found my GP brilliant, but she is a mother of three, so has seen it all before.

Honestly I forget how demanding the first few weeks were, but I do remember week 4. It was a hard week. There was one night where she was up night and day (never was a good day time sleeper) and I was so exhausted that i sat on the side of the bed bawling because she wouldn't stop crying and wouldn't go to sleep. My husband ended up doing laps of the hall with her to try get her to settle a little bit. Sleep deprivation! That was probably the worst week for us. My little girl also cluster fed from the beginning till 8 weeks religiously every night from about 9 till 12ish.

Remember that around 6 weeks in your supply will settle down, although it was 8 weeks for me before everything clicked and things started to settle down. So your nearly there!

Two of the best pieces of advice I got here during the newborn stage was 1) never give up on a bad day and 2) this too will pass, everything is a phase with them when they are so tiny.

hollymartins · 10-05-2018 11:25AM

Thanks ladies. It's funny how you doubt yourself even though I've been through this before!

She's having plenty of wet nappies and is gaining weight as she's growing out of her clothes.

I'll just have to remind myself that it will settle down. I think my son was 10 weeks old before the feeding settled...so I'm nearly halfway there

Millem · 20-05-2018 06:37PM

omg my guy has 2 teeth and full on bit me today maybe 3 times. Sooo unbelievably painful. I actually yelped! He laughed!!
Any tips?

Also will be working for a week in 2ish weeks.......won’t take a bottle. Contemplating driving home in the middle of the day! Starting to panic a bit.
Rascal still feeds maybe 3 times at night....any ideas on how to get him to cut back? He will be 9 months! I am sooo tired!

hollymartins · 20-05-2018 07:33PM

Millem wrote: »

omg my guy has 2 teeth and full on bit me today maybe 3 times. Sooo unbelievably painful. I actually yelped! He laughed!!
Any tips?

Also will be working for a week in 2ish weeks.......won’t take a bottle. Contemplating driving home in the middle of the day! Starting to panic a bit.
Rascal still feeds maybe 3 times at night....any ideas on how to get him to cut back? He will be 9 months! I am sooo tired!

Have you considered a soother? I know many parents won't use them but it worked for us when we tried to wean our son off the night feeds. I also shortened the feeds, so once he started falling asleep while on the breast I would put him down instead of rousing him to feed a bit more. He was about 5 months so younger than your baby, it's hard to know what would work as every baby is different!

catrionanic · 20-05-2018 08:14PM

Millem, does he feed to sleep? It’s normal for babies to wake several times a night, but sometimes they’re crying for a feed not because they’re hungry, but because they need it to fall asleep.

We had this, and found that getting his Daddy to resettle him at night worked wonders! When I was settling him, I would try to take him off the boob while drowsy but not asleep and then gently rock him to sleep. Eventually we transitioned off the rocking altogether but it took a good while.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the bottle. If you’re not there, and he really gets hungry, he will take it. They all do eventually!

scarepanda · 20-05-2018 08:19PM

Re biting, if he bites that's the end of nursing at that time. If he wants more latch him on in a couple of minutes. But be consistent with biting = no more boobs and he'll learn quickly.

At 9 months I wouldn't worry about getting him onto a bottle. I presume he's using beakers at this stage, so just put expressed milk/formula into that. We didn't give our little girl, even at bedtime, a bottle from about 7/8 months. If I was away she got expressed milk, cow's milk or water in the beaker depending on how long away I was going to be. She got water in a beaker at all solid meal times as well from 6/7 months.

saggycaggy · 20-05-2018 08:21PM

catrionanic wrote: »

Millem, does he feed to sleep? It’s normal for babies to wake several times a night, but sometimes they’re crying for a feed not because they’re hungry, but because they need it to fall asleep.

We had this, and found that getting his Daddy to resettle him at night worked wonders! When I was settling him, I would try to take him off the boob while drowsy but not asleep and then gently rock him to sleep. Eventually we transitioned off the rocking altogether but it took a good while.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the bottle. If you’re not there, and he really gets hungry, he will take it. They all do eventually!

I must try this too-I'm usually the one to settle my wee man by just sticking him on the boob!! He won't take a bottle either. I don't mind during the night as it's easy to get him back to sleep then and we barely wake but getting him down in the first place is hard as he'll fall asleep on the boob but wide awake as soon as I move away! My husband is currently trying to settle him so fingers crossed.

waterfaerie · 20-05-2018 08:45PM

Millem wrote: »

Also will be working for a week in 2ish weeks.......won’t take a bottle. Contemplating driving home in the middle of the day! Starting to panic a bit.
Rascal still feeds maybe 3 times at night....any ideas on how to get him to cut back? He will be 9 months! I am sooo tired!

I remember I was suggesting a cup before. Did you try out some different ones? If he won't take a cup or a bottle you can try to get some expressed milk into his food so he'll get it that way.

If the worst comes to the worst, he'll get by without it. Try to give him some wetter kinds of solid foods so he doesn't get dehydrated. He'll make up for the breastmilk when you get home and he will definitely want to make up for it overnight as well, unfortunately. You'll probably find an increase rather than a decrease in night feeds while you're working. Even if he does take a cup or bottle, he'll probably want more comfort to reconnect with you after you've been out all day. It's only one week so you'll get through it one way or another.

I would suggest waiting until after that week before you try anything different with his night time routine. Night weaning isn't recommended before 12 months anyway but if you do want to try gently resettling him in other ways, as long as you're sure it's not hunger, it would be best to wait until the stress of the week at work is over at least.

Millem · 22-05-2018 06:02AM

Thanks for all the replies. Just had two horrendous nights with him of very little sleep

Husband in spare room. Baby takes beaker, it’s just that he feeds sooo much still so don’t think he would take half as much from the beaker Think the baby is teething....very very cranky.....up since 3am

hollymartins · 30-05-2018 02:37PM

Has anyone tips for getting 7 week old to take a bottle? I've started expressing with the hope my husband can do the evening feed and I can spend some time with our toddler.

We're using nuk bottle and following pace feeding but so far this week it has just upset her when he tries to get teat in her mouth.

We managed it before with our son but I can't recall what worked or how long it took!

Also I'm using the hakaa pump as it was recommended on this thread and it's great for expressing

hollymartins · 30-05-2018 02:37PM

Has anyone tips for getting 7 week old to take a bottle? I've started expressing with the hope my husband can do the evening feed and I can spend some time with our toddler.

We're using nuk bottle and following pace feeding but so far this week it has just upset her when he tries to get teat in her mouth.

We managed it before with our son but I can't recall what worked or how long it took!

Also I'm using the hakaa pump as it was recommended on this thread and it's great for expressing

Toots · 03-06-2018 07:00PM

Are you using the kinda yellow type teats on the NUK bottle? They're latex and are supposed to feel a bit more like skin, so she might be more inclined to take it.

Crybabygeeks · 03-06-2018 07:40PM

hollymartins wrote: »

Has anyone tips for getting 7 week old to take a bottle? I've started expressing with the hope my husband can do the evening feed and I can spend some time with our toddler.

We're using nuk bottle and following pace feeding but so far this week it has just upset her when he tries to get teat in her mouth.

We managed it before with our son but I can't recall what worked or how long it took!

Also I'm using the hakaa pump as it was recommended on this thread and it's great for expressing

I started at 4 weeks giving a pumped bottle but definitely worth trying a few different bottles. Medela ones worked for us while she didn't like the Avent ones at all. She also doesn't really take it from me but will take it from others.

Just keep persevering with it. It'll happen eventually....!

AttentionBebe · 04-06-2018 08:05PM

Any advice for slow weight gain in a newborn? My daughter is almost 2 weeks old and apart from some formula top-ups in the first few days due to low blood sugars, exclusively breast fed. She initially lost 6% of her body weight and has yet to regain most of it. I'm feeding her at a minimum every 3 hours but often more frequently than that. She'll spend 20 minutes on each side and often repeat the cycle twice or three times. I never deny her a feed when she's looking for it. I also give her a top-up of what I've collected from the Haakaa during the day which is usually just a couple of Oz. She's alert, with good skin tone and plenty of wet and dirty nappies. Any ideas where I'm going wrong or what I can do to boost her weight gain? The public health nurse will be around tomorrow and I just know if she hasn't gained enough weight they'll be suggesting formula. I'm reluctant to do that as I fell into that trap with my son and my supply never recovered. TIA!

bee06 · 04-06-2018 08:15PM

It sounds like you are doing everything right if she is having plenty of wet nappies. Some babies just take some time to regain their birth weight. Have you contacted a IBCLC (lactation consultant). She could help with back up if your PHN is pressuring you to top up with formula. The Cuidiu breastfeeding support would be another option. You can ring them for advice and can contact anyone of the list. They don’t have to be in your area.

Kellymom is also a great online resource.

https://www.cuidiu-ict.ie/supports_breastfeeding_counsellors

https://kellymom.com/bf/normal/weight-gain/

flo09 · 04-06-2018 08:19PM

AttentionBebe wrote: »

Any advice for slow weight gain in a newborn? My daughter is almost 2 weeks old and apart from some formula top-ups in the first few days due to low blood sugars, exclusively breast fed. She initially lost 6% of her body weight and has yet to regain most of it. I'm feeding her at a minimum every 3 hours but often more frequently than that. She'll spend 20 minutes on each side and often repeat the cycle twice or three times. I never deny her a feed when she's looking for it. I also give her a top-up of what I've collected from the Haakaa during the day which is usually just a couple of Oz. She's alert, with good skin tone and plenty of wet and dirty nappies. Any ideas where I'm going wrong or what I can do to boost her weight gain? The public health nurse will be around tomorrow and I just know if she hasn't gained enough weight they'll be suggesting formula. I'm reluctant to do that as I fell into that trap with my son and my supply never recovered. TIA!

They allow 3 weeks for a baby to regain birth weight when breastfeeding. Sounds like you're doing great. Don't give into the pressure of giving formula if you don't want to.

Millem · 04-06-2018 09:24PM

AttentionBebe wrote: »

Any advice for slow weight gain in a newborn? My daughter is almost 2 weeks old and apart from some formula top-ups in the first few days due to low blood sugars, exclusively breast fed. She initially lost 6% of her body weight and has yet to regain most of it. I'm feeding her at a minimum every 3 hours but often more frequently than that. She'll spend 20 minutes on each side and often repeat the cycle twice or three times. I never deny her a feed when she's looking for it. I also give her a top-up of what I've collected from the Haakaa during the day which is usually just a couple of Oz. She's alert, with good skin tone and plenty of wet and dirty nappies. Any ideas where I'm going wrong or what I can do to boost her weight gain? The public health nurse will be around tomorrow and I just know if she hasn't gained enough weight they'll be suggesting formula. I'm reluctant to do that as I fell into that trap with my son and my supply never recovered. TIA!

I fell into a similar trap on my first. I am breastfeeding my second now over 9 months! Get a Lactation consultant out to the house or if you go to a cuidiu meeting they have some there.....well the one I went to did!!
If you have health insurance you might be able to claim some back!
Anyway as others said it can take a good 3 weeks for breastfed babies to regain the weight!

waterfaerie · 04-06-2018 09:47PM

As the others have said, it sounds like you're doing great.

Far too much emphasis is put on weight. There are much more important things to look at. If she's actively sucking and swallowing during feeds, has plenty of wet nappies and seems generally content between feeds then there is more than likely nothing to worry about. Try not to focus on the weight.

6% is not that much weight loss. Also, the length of time it takes to regain the weight is not important, as long as there is a gradual gain of some sort over time. Some babies take several weeks to get back to their starting percentile. As long as you have no other concerns about her health, that's fine.

Don't worry about the PHN or anything she says. You are your baby's mother and you know what's best for your baby. Be confident, trust your own instincts and don't let anybody pressure you to do anything you don't want to do. There is more than likely no problem but if you are genuinely concerned yourself or if the PHN puts you under pressure, try to get a lactation consultant, preferably an IBCLC. There is a breastfeeding friendly solution to every breastfeeding problem and an IBCLC is the only person that can be fully trusted to diagnose a problem and find the right solution.

I would really recommend getting to a breastfeeding group. They are fantastic for advice and for meeting other mums. As bee suggested, Cuidiú leaders are excellent. If you can't get to a meet up, most of them are available to give advice over the phone.

Be proud of what you're doing! If you are determined enough and get the right advice you can overcome any issues without resorting to formula.

scarepanda · 04-06-2018 10:56PM

I have to agree with everything said above. I have a now toddler that was a baby that gained weight consistently, but slower (or not at the rate to keep with the centile that she was at when born) and ended up dropping down a number of centiles and at the last weigh-in was hovering around the 3rd.

In my experience, PHNs don't always know a lot about the practicalities of breastfeeding and related 'issues' and as a result their solution is to go straight to formula Or when old enough to start solids at 16/17/18 weeks. They mostly deal with formulas fed babies because the breastfeeding rate is so low in Ireland and also they can 'control' how much baby is getting/taking where as they can't quantify what a breastfed baby is getting.

I ended up going to my GP who sent a 'just to be safe' referral to the hospital pediatrician when my little girl was 5/6 months old. Both my GP and the pediatrician gave us the same answer, that she was perfect. that she was a breastfed baby, they generally do their own thing and don't always gain weight as one would expect, but that that doesn't necessarily mean that anything is wrong with baby, especially if they are happy, alert, content after feeds (feeding often doesn't mean anythingbis wrong btw, especially at 2 weeks they should basically be attached to you so don't worry about that) and wet nappies (don't go by dirty nappies as it's perfectly normal for a breastfed baby to go up to 10 days without a bowl movement). It's so important to look at the baby in front of you and not just what the lines and boxes on a piece of paper say (which was my PHNs biggest problem).

My advice is that if your PHN is putting undue pressure on you to 'top-up' with formula, but you are happy with how baby is feeding and is settled afterwards then go to your GP for a second opinion (hopefully they are Pro breastfeed in reality and not just on paper) and see what they say. Seek out a highly recommended lactation consultant through a support group or through a personal recommendation. A good one will be worth every cent.

For what it's worth my little girl is coming up on 2 now and we're still nursing at bedtime. What she lacks in stature she sure makes up for in attitude. We have a few friends with babies around the same age as her and she is certainly physically stronger and more capable than most of them even though she's the smallest by a long shot, so please try not to worry. And please please, from a mother who was there, don't blame yourself. From your post it sounds like your are doing everything right. Just keep feeding whenever she wants to nurse. You can't force feed a breastfed baby so don't worry about not giving her enough if your feeding on demand. It's so so hard to not take it personally as at the end of the day you and your body are solely responsible for feeding and nurishing your little girl and I don't think anyone who hasn't been there themselves can fully appreciate how breastfeeding is not just a physical task but also a mental and emotional rollercoaster as well. And a lot of people can be very insensitive to a new mother trying to do her best for her new baby (I had a second PHN tell me at 8 days old after a serious struggle in hospital, where I came to within minutes of jacking it in, that my baby wasn't on the breast because I was (and still am) using a nipple shield).

I hope everything works out for you. Enjoy all the lovely baby snuggles, even through the hard moments.

Toots · 04-06-2018 11:04PM

Sounds like you're doing great, don't worry too much about the weight - alert baby and plenty of wet and dirty nappies are what you'd be looking for.

My daughter gained her birth weight back really fast, like within a week (breastfed) but was slow to gain after that. She was 98th centile in height and weight at birth but at her 3 month check she was at the 50th gentle for height, weight and head circumference. PHN said she wasn't worried because she's in proportion and also she's alert, lots of nappies, meeting milestones etc. However, because baba had dropped 2 centile sections, she had to refer me to the doctor. The doctor said she was happy with baba before I'd even lifted her out of her car seat, and told me not to worry, breastfed babies gain weight slower, and in her opinion too much emphasis is put on weight gain.

I got myself really worked up about the PHN thinking she'd be trying to make me do formula, but she was actually really supportive and encouraging about the breastfeeding. I think it can depend on who you get, because my SIL had a really small baby and was put under serious pressure to give formula to bulk her up.

The kellymom website is brilliant, and a lactation consultant can be a great help too. I got one when my baby was 1 week old - she came out to the house and was really good. I wasn't having problems, but wanted the reassurance that everything was ok and some tips etc. It was worth every penny, and it turned out that I was able to claim about 75% back on my health insurance.

The Breast Feeding Support Thread

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