The Breast Feeding Support Thread

Cakerbaker

hcass wrote: »

Can't believe I didn't say what age she is. She's two weeks off six months old. What is paced bottle feeds? She uses the newborn teeth.

Thanks for replying

https://www.cuidiu-ict.ie/supports_breastfeeding_alternativefeedingmethods

This gives some info on paced feeding. My understanding of it is it makes bottle feeding a bit more difficult than normal / a bit more like breast feeding so baby isn’t as likely to prefer the bottle.

I was going to suggest upping solids so the minder could give less milk but at that age she’s probably too young for that. Another option could be ditching bottles altogether and getting the minder to give the milk using a syringe or cup although someone with more experience with those methods might be better placed to advise on that.

hcass

Cakerbaker wrote: »

https://www.cuidiu-ict.ie/supports_breastfeeding_alternativefeedingmethods

This gives some info on paced feeding. My understanding of it is it makes bottle feeding a bit more difficult than normal / a bit more like breast feeding so baby isn’t as likely to prefer the bottle.

I was going to suggest upping solids so the minder could give less milk but at that age she’s probably too young for that. Another option could be ditching bottles altogether and getting the minder to give the milk using a syringe or cup although someone with more experience with those methods might be better placed to advise on that.

Thanks but it's just too much to ask of her (cup feeding or syringe) - it's a very casual arrangement. I will ask her about the paced feeding though, that seems less of an ask.

jlm29

Has anyone successfully night weaned a less than one year old? I know that it’s not recommended, but I’m back to work in two weeks, I’ve got two other small kids, and I really don’t think I can manage it all on my broken sleep!
We’re co-sleeping for some of the night, which does help, but I think I need to tackle this earlier than I originally planned!

catrionanic

jlm29 wrote: »

Has anyone successfully night weaned a less than one year old? I know that it’s not recommended, but I’m back to work in two weeks, I’ve got two other small kids, and I really don’t think I can manage it all on my broken sleep!
We’re co-sleeping for some of the night, which does help, but I think I need to tackle this earlier than I originally planned!

How many times a night is baba feeding? And how old is he/she?

We didn’t manage to night-wean before one, but when I was working, my husband would get up in the night and give him a bottle of expressed milk - usually just once a night. I also started giving him a little “supper” before bed - just a pancake or a bit of porridge or something - which seemed to keep him full for a bit longer.

We also found that he often wasn’t waking for feeds - more for comfort or help getting back to sleep. He was in his own room so my husband would go in and try to settle him. If he saw me, he wouldn’t settle until he had the boob.

He started sleeping through at 13 months.

lazygal

jlm29 wrote: »

Has anyone successfully night weaned a less than one year old? I know that it’s not recommended, but I’m back to work in two weeks, I’ve got two other small kids, and I really don’t think I can manage it all on my broken sleep!
We’re co-sleeping for some of the night, which does help, but I think I need to tackle this earlier than I originally planned!

Yes. Did a very gentle few nights of lifting and cuddling without feeding when they woke, then put them down in the cot. Repeat as needed. After a few nights they slept through. Never let them cry for too long or get distressed.

jlm29

He’s 9 months. I’ve realised the last few days that some days he feeds very very little (he could go from 7am to 6pm). Other days he feeds plenty.
I’ve two weeks off in July, maybe I should just suck it up until then, because he’ll be one, but then I think maybe I should tackle it now.

Toots

hcass wrote: »

Thanks but it's just too much to ask of her (cup feeding or syringe) - it's a very casual arrangement. I will ask her about the paced feeding though, that seems less of an ask.

AFAIK you can get bottles with teats that work like breastfeeding so the baby has to work a bit more for he milk. Lansinoh is the only one I know of off the top of my head but I'm sure there's others.

catrionanic

jlm29 wrote: »

He’s 9 months. I’ve realised the last few days that some days he feeds very very little (he could go from 7am to 6pm). Other days he feeds plenty.
I’ve two weeks off in July, maybe I should just suck it up until then, because he’ll be one, but then I think maybe I should tackle it now.

9 months is still young enough. There’s no way my wee man would have gone a whole night without at least 1-2 feeds at that age. Have you considered moving him to his own room as a first step? Next step being getting Daddy to go in to soothe him and you not being there.

I also found I slept a lot better when we moved him to his own room at 6 months, as every little noise he made was no longer disturbing me.

jlm29

catrionanic wrote: »

jlm29 wrote: »

He’s 9 months. I’ve realised the last few days that some days he feeds very very little (he could go from 7am to 6pm). Other days he feeds plenty.
I’ve two weeks off in July, maybe I should just suck it up until then, because he’ll be one, but then I think maybe I should tackle it now.

9 months is still young enough. There’s no way my wee man would have gone a whole night without at least 1-2 feeds at that age. Have you considered moving him to his own room as a first step? Next step being getting Daddy to go in to soothe him and you not being there.

I also found I slept a lot better when we moved him to his own room at 6 months, as every little noise he made was no longer disturbing me.

I know he’s still quite young- I don’t expect him to go the night, but I need a few hours together! He’s waking a gazillion times, and I think most of it is just for comfort. He starts off in his own room, and I go into him for the first couple of feeds, but I usually end up bringing him in with me at around 3 am

Toots

Guys my little girl has suddenly stopped opening nice and wide to latch on. She's 8 weeks and has been doing great but in the last few days she'll barely open her mouth. I'm not having any issues with pain... yet. But I'm concerned that she's not getting enough milk if she's not got s nice wide latch. She's been assessed for tongue tie etc and nothing there.

catrionanic

Toots wrote: »

Guys my little girl has suddenly stopped opening nice and wide to latch on. She's 8 weeks and has been doing great but in the last few days she'll barely open her mouth. I'm not having any issues with pain... yet. But I'm concerned that she's not getting enough milk if she's not got s nice wide latch. She's been assessed for tongue tie etc and nothing there.

You could try the “bobbing for apples” type approach - lie her on her back on your lap and dangle your breast over her mouth, so that she has to tilt her head back and open wide to “grab” a latch. It worked for me, but my baby was several months older at the time.

Also just make sure you really are pointing your nipple to her nose, so that she has to tilt her head back, and move up and over your nipple in order to latch.

scarepanda

So, my little girl has been down to 2 feeds a day for about 8 months, morning and evening. But I think she's starting to self wean off the morning feed, she hasn't nursed 3 out of the last 4 mornings.

My question is this, can I go from feeding on a side every 24hrs to going 24hr alternating between each side, so 48hrs between feeds on one side without doing anything else? Iv never had to wean her off any feeds before, it's just happened naturally. I'm happy for her to wean the morning feed, but on days she hasn't had a morning feed iv been letting her nurse on both sides that night just case she changes her mind and starts nursing twice a day again.

Toots

Could you pump the side she doesn't feed on and let her have the milk in a beaker with her lunch or some other time during the day?

scarepanda

I chanced it last night and just fed on one side, the side that I'd usually nurse at night. The other side is very slightly achy at the moment, but I should be grand till tonight to nurse. That side probably doesn't have much coz it was always the morning side and she wasn't latching for long on that side in a while. I'm more worried about the nighttime side tomorrow coz I think it produces more because she nursed better at night.

I haven't been able to pump anything in a while since we went down to 2 feeds a day. She's nearly 20 months, so doesn't 'need' breast milk. We'll see how things go over the next few days. Hopefully I'll have no issues

Toots

So I learned a lesson about cutting the baby's nails today. I was trying to find the time when she was asleep and they'd gotten quite sharp. I was feeding her earlier and she was sort of nodding off when the dog came in and did a massive sneeze, which scared the bejesus out of the baby. My right boob now looks like it's been attacked by an angry cat

bee06

The nails! They have me demented! They grow so quickly too. I was trying to do them when he was asleep as well but he only sleeps on me during the day most of the time so I never have two free hands to do it. My fella has started grabbing a nice chunk of flesh for himself and hanging on for dear life.

PhoenixParker

scarepanda wrote: »

I chanced it last night and just fed on one side, the side that I'd usually nurse at night. The other side is very slightly achy at the moment, but I should be grand till tonight to nurse. That side probably doesn't have much coz it was always the morning side and she wasn't latching for long on that side in a while. I'm more worried about the nighttime side tomorrow coz I think it produces more because she nursed better at night.

I haven't been able to pump anything in a while since we went down to 2 feeds a day. She's nearly 20 months, so doesn't 'need' breast milk. We'll see how things go over the next few days. Hopefully I'll have no issues

You could try hand pumping a bit in the shower every morning. The hot water will help milk flow and it lacks the hassle of pump set up. 5 mins might help to maintain supply and avoid any daytime aches.

scarepanda

Thanks phionexparker! She hasn't looked for a morning feed since, so we're tipping along with just the nighttime feed now and iv thankfully had no issues with the change.

Brego888

Hi all, first time father to be here so new to everything.

My better half is due in 2 weeks and at this stage hoping and planning to exclusively breastfeed. She is quite anxious though that it might not work and putting a bit of pressure on herself. I'm keen to reassure her that the baby will be OK if it takes time and doesn't work immediately.
Do you think it would be useful to have some formula on standby at home to just in case?

bee06

My advice would be to have a good lactation consultant call once you’re home from hospital to give her every chance of success. Giving formula in the early days can sabotage breastfeeding success because it’s all about supply and demand to bring in the milk. Giving formula will mean the baby breastfeeds less so less milk is generated so more formula is given and you end up with a vicious cycle.

Prepare yourselves that the baby will feed so much in the first 6/8 weeks as well. Some people who aren’t aware that that this will happen get worried that there isn’t enough milk but this isn’t necessarily the case.

This is a really good breastfeeding website. It was my bible in the early weeks.
https://kellymom.com/hot-topics/newborn-nursing/

scarepanda

Brego888 wrote: »

Hi all, first time father to be here so new to everything.

My better half is due in 2 weeks and at this stage hoping and planning to exclusively breastfeed. She is quite anxious though that it might not work and putting a bit of pressure on herself. I'm keen to reassure her that the baby will be OK if it takes time and doesn't work immediately.
Do you think it would be useful to have some formula on standby at home to just in case?

Your wife is only one who will be able to answer that question. Some people will swear by it, but personally I would have felt under more pressure to give up or even just top up with formula. At the end of the day, unless you live in the the absolute back of beyond, how long would it take to run to the shops to get some if it didn't work out?

jlm29

It would be perfectly fine for her to have formula on stand by if she wishes to have it there, but it’s highly unlikely that she will actually need it. As above, there tends to be a misconception that baby feeding a lot in the early days is a sign that Mam doesn’t have enough milk, but it can be a vicious cycle.
I would think that the most useful things you could do now would be to familiarise yourself with what normal early breastfeeding behaviour is, and to support that as much as possible. You should also be prepared to bring food, drinks and do housework.
You should both have confidence in nature, and in your wife/partners ability to feed baby!
There’s nothing wrong with combo feeding, but if she wants to exclusively breastfeed, make it a joint aim, because that makes it easier. I lived with my parents when my eldest was born, and I found the (frequent) suggestions that I should be giving formula exhausting.
If there IS a need for formula, unless you live somewhere very out of the way altogether, you’ll be able to get your hands on it fairly sharpish!

PhoenixParker

I would suggest buying 1 litre of the pre-made stuff and 1 bottle to have on standby.

It's easy to say that a handy shop will have it but when you're struggling with your first new born baby a trip to the local shop can seem like an uphill battle.

It depends on your own mindset too though. For me it was a safety blanket that gave me confidence to persist for others it might be temptation.

I combo fed after 4 weeks of trying everything with no weight gain. Worked fine until he self weaned at 13 months.

waterfaerie

Congratulations Brego888 and good luck to you and your partner with the birth of your baby! It's great to see dads posting in here as you will be a very important support to her with breastfeeding.

I would definitely not recommend having formula ready just in case. In my experience after a rough start breastfeeding and from talking to many other breastfeeding mums, the biggest barrier to success is the mum's confidence and support or lack of support from those around her. The most important thing you can do is to show her that you believe in her and know she can do it. Having formula "just in case" doesn't give that message. If the idea to have the formula is hers, try to reassure her that she won't need it.

It would be great for her to go to a breastfeeding group if she can. The support and reassurance from other breastfeeding mums is so important, as well as being a good socialising opportunity. Cuidiú leaders are usually amazing and many are available by phone if she needs help and can't get to a group.

With confidence and support, there should be no reason for her to not succeed but if you do encounter problems, it's important to know that there is almost always a breastfeeding friendly solution. Sadly, however, the default "solution" to breastfeeding problems provided by healthcare workers here is usually to offer formula. If she does have difficulties then a lactation consultant, preferably an IBCLC, would be the way to go. They will find the breastfeeding friendly solution.

If there is one bit of advice I could give to all partners of breastfeeding mums it's to make sure you tell her every single day that she's doing a great job. It will make the world of difference to her. There will probably be days when she really doesn't believe you and she may want to give up. Just help her to take it one day at a time and never quit on a bad day.

Well done for asking for help. I'm sure you'll be an amazing dad.

scarepanda

jlm29 wrote: »

I would think that the most useful things you could do now would be to familiarise yourself with what normal early breastfeeding behaviour is, and to support that as much as possible. You should also be prepared to bring food, drinks and do housework.
You should both have confidence in nature, and in your wife/partners ability to feed baby!

This advice is really good. I would also advise that your wife accepts now that she will spend a lot of time in the first 4-6 weeks sitting with a baby attached to her, and it's hard bloody work, and very emotionally exhausting. But in her worst moment (if she still actually wants to breastfeed) be there to remind her that it will pass, it always does. Keeping that in mind kept me sane during the first 6 weeks. Once I got to 8 weeks everything fell into place for me, and since 5.5 months when she stared solids it's been a dream because the pressure of always having to be close by was removed.

Best of luck!

rainbow kirby

I'm going to sit on the fence a bit and say "it depends". I'm almost exclusively breastfeeding my 2.5 month old (he has the very odd bottle of formula) and I fed my older son (2 now) for 15 months. I did almost always have formula in the house. I brought some to the hospital when having #2, he was ill and very sleepy in the first few days. He didn't have a lot of energy to breastfeed so I gave formula and syringe fed hand expressed colostrum. I was able to cover his top-ups by pumping from day 3 and phased out top-ups when he was around 10 days old.

Happydippy

Brego888 wrote: »

Hi all, first time father to be here so new to everything.

My better half is due in 2 weeks and at this stage hoping and planning to exclusively breastfeed. She is quite anxious though that it might not work and putting a bit of pressure on herself. I'm keen to reassure her that the baby will be OK if it takes time and doesn't work immediately.
Do you think it would be useful to have some formula on standby at home to just in case?

Hi, don't worry too much about getting formula or not. Things that will make a difference to your partner's breastfeeding experience are your support and doing practical things like washing and cooking in the early days so she can spend her time getting the hang of breastfeeding.

As others have said, find out what is normal for breastfeeding baby in the first few weeks and about how breastfeeding works, Kellymom site is great. Also find a local breastfeeding group, pregnant women are always welcome, it's good to have other mums to talk to. Many groups have a lactation consultant leader. Chatting with other mums may help ease her anxiety.
Many new mums stop breastfeeding because they think they have low milk supply as baby wants to feed a lot in the first few days/weeks, but this is normal and helps increase supply.
When baby arrives, tell her she's doing great, bring her snacks and drinks, be supportive and if there are any problems ask for help or advice from someone with breastfeeding experience or training.

Good luck.

Crybabygeeks

Brego888 wrote: »

Hi all, first time father to be here so new to everything.

My better half is due in 2 weeks and at this stage hoping and planning to exclusively breastfeed. She is quite anxious though that it might not work and putting a bit of pressure on herself. I'm keen to reassure her that the baby will be OK if it takes time and doesn't work immediately.
Do you think it would be useful to have some formula on standby at home to just in case?

I'm a Ftm who is breastfeeding our three week old. Key things for me that your partner should be aware of / prepared for are;1) it may hurt a lot in first few days but it does pass! Our baby latched really well from day 0 but still nipple pain was terrible. Got to plough on though and keep going in those difficult first few days. Have multi mam compresses and lanolin cream to hand! 2) knowledge is power. Before baby arrived, I went to a la leche meeting and watched YouTube videos on how to latch baby. Both really helped I feel as wasn't starting from scratch ! 3) baby feeds so much at the start. Neither my husband or I knew this. Be prepared to not do much else except have your boobs out and ready to rock when baby demands it. 4) it's amazing and worth it all! Only mum can do this and that's v special. Also be prepared for " would you not give a bottle" type comments... and ignore them.

My 2 cents! She will do it.. definitely support her through the tough times. Best of luck!

Pocos

Brego888 wrote: »

Hi all, first time father to be here so new to everything.

My better half is due in 2 weeks and at this stage hoping and planning to exclusively breastfeed. She is quite anxious though that it might not work and putting a bit of pressure on herself. I'm keen to reassure her that the baby will be OK if it takes time and doesn't work immediately.
Do you think it would be useful to have some formula on standby at home to just in case?

Hi brego888
Congratulations on your new arrival and best of luck with it all! Regarding formula I would ask your better half what she would prefer! I’m EBF my 15 week old baby! My husband got premade formula from the shop at the beginning too! There’s 4 small bottles and there are still 4 small bottles! I actually like having it in the house just in case I got sick or got held up somewhere that my baby wasn’t without food in the house. It didn’t make me more inclined to give in on the tough days, it just reassured me my baby would never be without food!

Breast feeding isn’t easy but as people said it is totally worth it! The best advice I got was if you decide to give up, continue for another week. If you still feel the same way after that week then give up! But usually on a bad day you feel you can’t continue you decide to give up after 24 hours you are back loving it!! Worst thing you could do is give up and then regret it a day or two later!

And if your partner gives the baby a bottle of formula there’s nothing wrong with that!! Tell her there are a few breast feeding out there where breast feeding is the ONLY way! It isn’t a bottle of formula here and there won’t make a difference if it’s not a regular thing! Lots of people do it! Regular bottles will reduce supply though so be careful there! Personally we can’t have formula as our little one refuses to take a bottle! So my advice introduce a bottle early.. expresses milk preferably but even formula would be fine! Your partner needs a break from time to time!!

Anyway that’s just my 2 cent! Best of luck

catrionanic

Some great advice here. The points I would echo the most are just knowing what to expect in regards to endless feeding, particularly during growth spurts, and knowing that it’s normal and there’s nothing wrong with your supply. That she will need encouragement and praise to help her through. To have multi mam compresses and lanolin cream in the cupboard. To absolutely ignore the endless “advice” you’ll receive of just giving baby a bottle. And most importantly, to never give up on a bad day!

I found it very hard at first and there were times when I desperately wanted to stop, but kept on going and fed for 13 months, when I reluctantly had to stop because I was pregnant again.

Best of luck! Enjoy it. It’s magical.