Fair City [News, Spoilers and Discussion v8] Read Post #1 Before Contributing

coolhull wrote: »

We were all horrified (yeah, right!) when Karen lay unconscious in Wayne 's kitchen, presumably having written 'Slut', in beautiful handwriting, with the last of her dying strength on the fridge (as you do).

Karen has become the latest victim of a huge rise in knife crime throughout the city. But at least her assailant is neat and tidy, and delivers a precise stab wound, which allows blood to soak through her dress but not onto her tights or shoes...
("Those shoes are Leboutin Flats, they cost a fortune in Browne Thomas's, and the tights are Pretty Polly Sheer Dennier, e8.99 a pair. I'm fcuked if I'm going to let them be ruined by a bit of ould ketchup ).

Having found her, stabbed and near death on his own kitchen floor, Wayne, being the gobsh*te he is, thinks to himself, "Will I call an ambulance? Ah no, sure me phone credit is low. ... I'll just whisk a sheet off me bed, lay her down on that, and drag her along the hallway, down the fourteen front steps, onto the cold pavement, into the back seat of me car, and take her to hospital meself. Sure them ould ambulances, with the oxygen tanks, emergency equipment and safety stretchers aren't near as snug as me own ould car. Far quicker and cheaper to do it meself. "

Then, after driving frantically for twenty minutes, while assuring Karen that " we're nearly there", it turns out that he's actually only driven fifteen yards from his own house, and only got as far asoutside McCoy's, where of course Decco steps out in front of him. Despite almost becoming another sad statistic of Ireland's roads massacre Decco still has time to get into a long, rambling conversation with Wayne, regarding road safety, the life-styles of their respective wives, and, for all we know, the possible outcome of the upcoming Referendum.

Karen, meanwhile, despite losing massive amounts of Heinz 57 Varieties, decides to herself, "Fcuk this, 'tis a fine night, I'm going for a stroll in the park," slips unnoticed from the car and staggers nonchalantly through the Bank Holiday crowds, enters the park looks for a clean, dry spot, and collapses, gently and modestly, to the ground.

Luckily, Wayne is able to put his panic and fears aside, and instead goes to the pub, where he sits at ease pwith the local doctor.
"Hmm, I wonder should I mention to the Doctor that there's a slip of a girl nearby, bleeding profusely from a stab wound,..... or should I have another drink? .... Fcuk it, gimme another pint there, and sure give Doctor Jim whatever he's having."

Over the years, with the grandkids, I've had to watch a fair few episodes of ''Bananas in Pyjamas, " Ben and Holly " and ''Daffy Duck", but for sheer entertainment and comedic value, Fair City beats them all.

Sparko wrote: »

Missing her alright! Although the new detective and his ability to just appear on demand from within a crowd is hilarious.