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'Old chestnuts' that drive you mad

2456

Comments

  • #32
    whisky_galore
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,266 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    Chrongen wrote: »
    **** who make a complaint about some minor issue and then tack on "no wonder the country's ruined"

    How exactly is the fcuking country ruined? How did a late bus or a mother letting her kid run amok in the supermarket contribute to this "ruining" of the country?

    How have these minor complaints ruined other countries where they've occurred?

    Someone doesn't use manners and 'society is breaking down' all of a sudden.


  • #33
    everlast75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,048 ✭✭✭✭everlast75


    When you're washing your car and your neighbour calls over to you "they, can you do mine after your finished?"

    Such a cad that fella

    Elect a clown... Expect a circus



  • #34
    beefburrito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 695 ✭✭✭beefburrito


    They don't make them like they used to.....


  • #35
    Gravelly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,092 ✭✭✭Gravelly


    everlast75 wrote: »
    When you're washing your car and your neighbour calls over to you "they, can you do mine after your finished?"

    Such a cad that fella

    The obvious answer to that is: "I did her already, she's upstairs smoking a fag"


  • #36
    cantdecide
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,363 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    Zebra3 wrote: »
    Never in my entire life have I ever heard that said.

    "At car meets people constantly joke with me asking how many bodies fit in the trunk of the Lincoln Continental. I snapped and finally decided to answer that".

    Important note: not me in the video...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZT1sDlivJ0


    Edit: Here's Robert De Niro cracking the old chestnut in a classic scene.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbQWO22pprk


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  • #37
    draiochtanois
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,632 ✭✭✭draiochtanois


    This post has been deleted.


  • #38
    RebelButtMunch
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,520 ✭✭✭RebelButtMunch


    "It's like the time in the Simpson's when..."


  • #39
    Salvation Tambourine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 963 ✭✭✭Salvation Tambourine


    Asking a middle aged person how old they are on their birthday and they say "21!!!!", always gets a laugh...always makes me cringe.


  • #40
    worker bee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 97 ✭✭worker bee


    People adding 'as it were' to every statement.

    And people who wisely greet every news report of child abuse with "and you need a licence to have a dog".

    A dog licence is actually a levy on having a dog. It does not indicate that a person has passed a test on their suitability as a dog owner. It is possible to buy a dog licence and go home and beat or starve a dog.

    Issuers of a dog licence will likely never see the actual dog the licence is for.


  • #41
    Mattie500
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 80 ✭✭Mattie500


    “I’ll get my coat” ....


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  • #42
    draiochtanois
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,632 ✭✭✭draiochtanois


    This post has been deleted.


  • #43
    PandaPoo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,978 ✭✭✭PandaPoo


    When something doesn't scan at the checkout You're almost guaranteed a 'it must be free so'.


  • #44
    Effects
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,741 ✭✭✭Effects


    cantdecide wrote: »
    You can't stand next to an open car boot without someone saying 'you'd get at least 3 bodies in there... yuk yuk'.

    I've never heard anyone say that. Ever.


  • #45
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Blaming the bankers.


  • #46
    ELM327
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 19,935 ✭✭✭✭ELM327


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Blaming the bankers.
    or "de gubbernment, joe"


  • #47
    cantdecide
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,363 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    Effects wrote: »
    I've never heard anyone say that. Ever.

    Maybe you're just not the observant one.

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=106547313&postcount=29

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=106550270&postcount=36


  • #48
    Wanderer78
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,756 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Blaming the bankers.

    plenty of peer reviewed and non peer reviewed work to support why though


  • #49
    Graces7
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Chestnut stuffing.. mmmmmmmmmm;)


  • #50
    jasonb
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,417 ✭✭✭jasonb


    Someone saying they've been married for 10 years or 15 years and 'sure, you'd get less for murder', or 'if I killed her at the start I'd be out by now'. Or even just the phrase 'The Wife'. How about 'My Wife' instead?


  • #51
    Gravelly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,092 ✭✭✭Gravelly


    jasonb wrote: »
    Someone saying they've been married for 10 years or 15 years and 'sure, you'd get less for murder', or 'if I killed her at the start I'd be out by now'. Or even just the phrase 'The Wife'. How about 'My Wife' instead?

    How about your wife ;)


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  • #52
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    Graces7 wrote: »
    Chestnut stuffing.. mmmmmmmmmm;)

    I think you're missing the point of this thread.;)



    "Well, it never did me any harm..."


  • #53
    Steve F
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭Steve F


    BreGZit

    It's BrEXit you clown British Exit

    Say it properly or don't say it AT ALL!!!


  • #54
    AudreyHepburn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭AudreyHepburn


    Blaming the banks/government/church/Irish Water/insert organization here for your own mistakes.

    If you’re posting here I am assuming you are an adult so act like and accept your own faults!


  • #55
    bottlebrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,215 ✭✭✭bottlebrush


    As the fella says



    I hate when somebody sticks this into a sentence. what fella?


  • #56
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,499 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    jasonb wrote: »
    Someone saying they've been married for 10 years or 15 years and 'sure, you'd get less for murder', or 'if I killed her at the start I'd be out by now'. Or even just the phrase 'The Wife'. How about 'My Wife' instead?

    'The Great Train Robbers didn't get that long'.


  • #57
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,040 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    When people are retelling a conversation: "she turned around and said.....and then I turned around and said etc etc "

    This drives me mental, I have an imagine of them standing back to back while conversing.


  • #58
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    Sticking with the marriage theme, I hate when people talking about gay marriage say 'if the gays want to be as miserable as the rest of us' chortles, racous laughter etc. I mean maybe it was funny the first time... but like it was said over and over and over and over. Each time the 'joker' acting like they thought of it.


  • #59
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,499 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    jobbridge4life wrote: »
    Sticking with the marriage theme, I hate when people talking about gay marriage say 'if the gays want to be as miserable as the rest of us' chortles, racous laughter etc. I mean maybe it was funny the first time... but like it was said over and over and over and over. Each time the 'joker' acting like they thought of it.

    I've lost track the amount of times I've heard that in a social setting in the last couple of years. It's always said by some big massive bore who thinks he's funny. Then the round of fake laughing from his 'audience'.

    Such cutting edge humour. :rolleyes:


  • #60
    Grayditch
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,347 ✭✭✭✭Grayditch


    Staying in bed until midday because you're a nightworker: "Well for some."
    Drinking anything but Heineken or Carlsberg: "Fancy bastard."
    Not drinking at all : "Are you a bit... ya know..."
    Buying something they don't have: "More money than sense"


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  • #61
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,034 ✭✭✭Feisar


    jasonb wrote: »
    Someone saying they've been married for 10 years or 15 years and 'sure, you'd get less for murder', or 'if I killed her at the start I'd be out by now'. Or even just the phrase 'The Wife'. How about 'My Wife' instead?

    About ten years ago there was a ringtone thingy that'd blare with a siren going, ITS THE WIFE, ffs marry a siren and you'd be delighted when she called.

    First they came for the socialists...



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