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'Old chestnuts' that drive you mad

cantdecide

You can't stand next to an open car boot without someone saying 'you'd get at least 3 bodies in there... yuk yuk'.

I lose the will to live every time I hear that one. What's yours?

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whisky_galore

Chrongen wrote: »

**** who make a complaint about some minor issue and then tack on "no wonder the country's ruined"

How exactly is the fcuking country ruined? How did a late bus or a mother letting her kid run amok in the supermarket contribute to this "ruining" of the country?

How have these minor complaints ruined other countries where they've occurred?

Someone doesn't use manners and 'society is breaking down' all of a sudden.

everlast75

When you're washing your car and your neighbour calls over to you "they, can you do mine after your finished?"

Such a cad that fella

beefburrito

They don't make them like they used to.....

Gravelly

everlast75 wrote: »

When you're washing your car and your neighbour calls over to you "they, can you do mine after your finished?"

Such a cad that fella

The obvious answer to that is: "I did her already, she's upstairs smoking a fag"

cantdecide

Zebra3 wrote: »

Never in my entire life have I ever heard that said.

"At car meets people constantly joke with me asking how many bodies fit in the trunk of the Lincoln Continental. I snapped and finally decided to answer that".

Important note: not me in the video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZT1sDlivJ0

Edit: Here's Robert De Niro cracking the old chestnut in a classic scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbQWO22pprk

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

RebelButtMunch

"It's like the time in the Simpson's when..."

Salvation Tambourine

Asking a middle aged person how old they are on their birthday and they say "21!!!!", always gets a laugh...always makes me cringe.

worker bee

People adding 'as it were' to every statement.

And people who wisely greet every news report of child abuse with "and you need a licence to have a dog".

A dog licence is actually a levy on having a dog. It does not indicate that a person has passed a test on their suitability as a dog owner. It is possible to buy a dog licence and go home and beat or starve a dog.

Issuers of a dog licence will likely never see the actual dog the licence is for.

Mattie500

“I’ll get my coat” ....

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

PandaPoo

When something doesn't scan at the checkout You're almost guaranteed a 'it must be free so'.

Effects

cantdecide wrote: »

You can't stand next to an open car boot without someone saying 'you'd get at least 3 bodies in there... yuk yuk'.

I've never heard anyone say that. Ever.

eviltwin

Blaming the bankers.

ELM327

eviltwin wrote: »

Blaming the bankers.

or "de gubbernment, joe"

cantdecide

Effects wrote: »

I've never heard anyone say that. Ever.

Maybe you're just not the observant one.

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=106547313&postcount=29

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=106550270&postcount=36

Wanderer78

eviltwin wrote: »

Blaming the bankers.

plenty of peer reviewed and non peer reviewed work to support why though

Graces7

Chestnut stuffing.. mmmmmmmmmm;)

jasonb

Someone saying they've been married for 10 years or 15 years and 'sure, you'd get less for murder', or 'if I killed her at the start I'd be out by now'. Or even just the phrase 'The Wife'. How about 'My Wife' instead?

Gravelly

jasonb wrote: »

Someone saying they've been married for 10 years or 15 years and 'sure, you'd get less for murder', or 'if I killed her at the start I'd be out by now'. Or even just the phrase 'The Wife'. How about 'My Wife' instead?

How about your wife

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Graces7 wrote: »

Chestnut stuffing.. mmmmmmmmmm;)

I think you're missing the point of this thread.;)

"Well, it never did me any harm..."

Steve F

BreGZit

It's BrEXit you clown British Exit

Say it properly or don't say it AT ALL!!!

AudreyHepburn

Blaming the banks/government/church/Irish Water/insert organization here for your own mistakes.

If you’re posting here I am assuming you are an adult so act like and accept your own faults!

bottlebrush

As the fella says

I hate when somebody sticks this into a sentence. what fella?

DEFTLEFTHAND

jasonb wrote: »

Someone saying they've been married for 10 years or 15 years and 'sure, you'd get less for murder', or 'if I killed her at the start I'd be out by now'. Or even just the phrase 'The Wife'. How about 'My Wife' instead?

'The Great Train Robbers didn't get that long'.

[Deleted User]

When people are retelling a conversation: "she turned around and said.....and then I turned around and said etc etc "

This drives me mental, I have an imagine of them standing back to back while conversing.

jobbridge4life

Sticking with the marriage theme, I hate when people talking about gay marriage say 'if the gays want to be as miserable as the rest of us' chortles, racous laughter etc. I mean maybe it was funny the first time... but like it was said over and over and over and over. Each time the 'joker' acting like they thought of it.

DEFTLEFTHAND

jobbridge4life wrote: »

Sticking with the marriage theme, I hate when people talking about gay marriage say 'if the gays want to be as miserable as the rest of us' chortles, racous laughter etc. I mean maybe it was funny the first time... but like it was said over and over and over and over. Each time the 'joker' acting like they thought of it.

I've lost track the amount of times I've heard that in a social setting in the last couple of years. It's always said by some big massive bore who thinks he's funny. Then the round of fake laughing from his 'audience'.

Such cutting edge humour. :rolleyes:

Grayditch

Staying in bed until midday because you're a nightworker: "Well for some."
Drinking anything but Heineken or Carlsberg: "Fancy bastard."
Not drinking at all : "Are you a bit... ya know..."
Buying something they don't have: "More money than sense"

Feisar

jasonb wrote: »

Someone saying they've been married for 10 years or 15 years and 'sure, you'd get less for murder', or 'if I killed her at the start I'd be out by now'. Or even just the phrase 'The Wife'. How about 'My Wife' instead?

About ten years ago there was a ringtone thingy that'd blare with a siren going, ITS THE WIFE, ffs marry a siren and you'd be delighted when she called.