'Old chestnuts' that drive you mad

cantdecide

You can't stand next to an open car boot without someone saying 'you'd get at least 3 bodies in there... yuk yuk'.

I lose the will to live every time I hear that one. What's yours?

showpony1

can't decide

Sidebaro

'Make America Great Again'.

Widdensushi

Pointless thread of the day ����

cantdecide

Widdensushi wrote: »

Pointless thread of the day ����

Finally, some recognition

the purple tin

Remarks about Dolly Parton's big boobies, usually made by middle aged men. Dolly must be well into her 70's by now ffs.

Car99

Going forward......

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

"In my day...."

Peatys

Irish people moaning about the weather.
You'd think they're used to living in Florida and then suddenly it's like craggy island out there.

OldNotWIse

"Broke the internet" or "divided the internet"

"Where it's at" - it's where it IS ffs.

"And then some" - some what??

"Truth be told"

Starting an answer to a question with "so"

And the usual plethora of sh*teology about the weekend, oh sure it's a short week, you won't feel it now, wishing our lives away we are, ah sure we've had no spring, the weekends are getting shorter, any plans for the weekend , did you do anything for the weekend, how was your weekend, looking forward to this long weekend" on and f*cking on and on...

the purple tin

When somebody ends a post with 'end of thread' or 'thread closed' :rolleyes: get stuffed.

OldNotWIse

Peatys wrote: »

Irish people moaning about the weather.
You'd think they're used to living in Florida and then suddenly it's like craggy island out there.

And the obsession with the weather forecast. :pac:

OldNotWIse

the purple tin wrote: »

When somebody ends a post with 'end of thread' or 'thread closed' :rolleyes: get stuffed.

Or when they start a thread with a statement and then say "discuss". No screw you, you are not a leaving cert question.

cantdecide

Fatima Odd Clerk wrote: »

"In my day...."

go on...

Boom_Bap

I hate when I'm playing conkers and someone whips out their old chestnut that they polished through the winter. Game Over.

Graces7

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I hate when I'm playing conkers and someone whips out their old chestnut that they polished through the winter. Game Over.

Do people still play conkers?WOW!

OH! I JUST GOT IT ! Slow today! lol

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

cantdecide wrote: »

go on...

Since you asked...

Bummer1234

It'll be grand!

ELM327

the purple tin wrote: »

When somebody ends a post with 'end of thread' or 'thread closed' :rolleyes: get stuffed.

/thread

daveyeh

OldNotWIse wrote: »

"And then some" - some what??

Some more.

Chrongen

**** who make a complaint about some minor issue and then tack on "no wonder the country's ruined"

How exactly is the fcuking country ruined? How did a late bus or a mother letting her kid run amok in the supermarket contribute to this "ruining" of the country?

How have these minor complaints ruined other countries where they've occurred?

Gravelly

cantdecide wrote: »

You can't stand next to an open car boot without someone saying 'you'd get at least 3 bodies in there... yuk yuk'.

I lose the will to live every time I hear that one. What's yours?

Link?

Bob Harris

Chrongen wrote: »

**** who make a complaint about some minor issue and then tack on "no wonder the country's ruined"

How exactly is the fcuking country ruined? How did a late bus or a mother letting her kid run amok in the supermarket contribute to this "ruining" of the country?

How have these minor complaints ruined other countries where they've occurred?

Finally a post that actually contains an 'old chestnut'.

Ipso

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I hate when I'm playing conkers and someone whips out their old chestnut that they polished through the winter. Game Over.

William is the worse for that.

blueser

The rain coming down at an angle of 45° and some doddery old gobsh1te says; " Soft day, thank God". It's not "soft"; it's sh1tty, you senile old fcukwit.

rafatoni

the purple tin wrote: »

When somebody ends a post with 'end of thread' or 'thread closed' :rolleyes: get stuffed.

we have a winner. Thread Closed Baby

Neames

Buy a new shirt etc..

No recession there.

padd b1975

Your Messis and Ronaldos.

Zebra3

cantdecide wrote: »

You can't stand next to an open car boot without someone saying 'you'd get at least 3 bodies in there... yuk yuk'.

I lose the will to live every time I hear that one. What's yours?

Never in my entire life have I ever heard that said.

Katgurl

In response to how are you -

"Can't complain... Well I can but sure who'd listen?"

Boom boom. Even funnier a thousand times later.

Tell me how

When away on work trip for a few days or your company has visitors who are staying in the locality and someone mentions any time after five and there's jokes made about "We'll all be drunk by then" or "We'll be having that meeting in the bar" followed by raucous laughter.

I shiver at the thought of going in to the same hotel bar every night and drinking with the same people you've been working with all day and, final nail in coffin here, talking about work.

whisky_galore

Chrongen wrote: »

**** who make a complaint about some minor issue and then tack on "no wonder the country's ruined"

How exactly is the fcuking country ruined? How did a late bus or a mother letting her kid run amok in the supermarket contribute to this "ruining" of the country?

How have these minor complaints ruined other countries where they've occurred?

Someone doesn't use manners and 'society is breaking down' all of a sudden.

everlast75

When you're washing your car and your neighbour calls over to you "they, can you do mine after your finished?"

Such a cad that fella

beefburrito

They don't make them like they used to.....

Gravelly

everlast75 wrote: »

When you're washing your car and your neighbour calls over to you "they, can you do mine after your finished?"

Such a cad that fella

The obvious answer to that is: "I did her already, she's upstairs smoking a fag"

cantdecide

Zebra3 wrote: »

Never in my entire life have I ever heard that said.

"At car meets people constantly joke with me asking how many bodies fit in the trunk of the Lincoln Continental. I snapped and finally decided to answer that".

Important note: not me in the video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZT1sDlivJ0

Edit: Here's Robert De Niro cracking the old chestnut in a classic scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbQWO22pprk

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

RebelButtMunch

"It's like the time in the Simpson's when..."

Salvation Tambourine

Asking a middle aged person how old they are on their birthday and they say "21!!!!", always gets a laugh...always makes me cringe.

worker bee

People adding 'as it were' to every statement.

And people who wisely greet every news report of child abuse with "and you need a licence to have a dog".

A dog licence is actually a levy on having a dog. It does not indicate that a person has passed a test on their suitability as a dog owner. It is possible to buy a dog licence and go home and beat or starve a dog.

Issuers of a dog licence will likely never see the actual dog the licence is for.

Mattie500

“I’ll get my coat” ....

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

PandaPoo

When something doesn't scan at the checkout You're almost guaranteed a 'it must be free so'.

Effects

cantdecide wrote: »

You can't stand next to an open car boot without someone saying 'you'd get at least 3 bodies in there... yuk yuk'.

I've never heard anyone say that. Ever.

eviltwin

Blaming the bankers.

ELM327

eviltwin wrote: »

Blaming the bankers.

or "de gubbernment, joe"

cantdecide

Effects wrote: »

I've never heard anyone say that. Ever.

Maybe you're just not the observant one.

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=106547313&postcount=29

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=106550270&postcount=36

Wanderer78

eviltwin wrote: »

Blaming the bankers.

plenty of peer reviewed and non peer reviewed work to support why though

Graces7

Chestnut stuffing.. mmmmmmmmmm;)

jasonb

Someone saying they've been married for 10 years or 15 years and 'sure, you'd get less for murder', or 'if I killed her at the start I'd be out by now'. Or even just the phrase 'The Wife'. How about 'My Wife' instead?

Gravelly

jasonb wrote: »

Someone saying they've been married for 10 years or 15 years and 'sure, you'd get less for murder', or 'if I killed her at the start I'd be out by now'. Or even just the phrase 'The Wife'. How about 'My Wife' instead?

How about your wife