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What everyday things are you not able to do?

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  • 12-03-2018 3:40pm
    #1
    LadyMacBeth_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,070 ✭✭✭


    So, in the spirit of making myself feel better about my many failings, I have created a thread to see what other people are unable to do as well! I'm turning 30 in July and I'm dreading it because I thought I'd have gotten a bit further, or you know, somewhere in my life by now, but sure, I'm still alive, eh?

    So let me get the ball rolling!

    1. I can't drive, one which seems to massively shock foreigners but Irish people aren't all that fazed. I had four lessons but I've never been more terrified in my life.
    2. I can't rollerskate or rollerblade, tried and failed, a good many times!
    3. I have very poor navigational skills but that's because I'm a women, eh? :P
    4. I'm really bad at concentrating on anything at all if someone is talking to me, especially small talk, it takes all of my energy just to muster up something somewhat normal to say.


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    #2
    Sleepy
    Registered Users Posts: 24,155 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Whistle


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    #3
    Hande hoche!
    Registered Users Posts: 7,453 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    Can't snap my fingers.


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    #4
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Walk more than a few yards. I exercise the dog by letting her run ahead a ways then calling her back to me.

    There is a way round most of these things ;)


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    #5
    georgina toadbum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 365 ✭✭georgina toadbum


    Follow maps. Even Google maps. I always end up taking the turns too soon or missing them.


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    #6
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    I can't swim. I keep meaning to learn but I've a terrible phobia of water. I'd probably need a lot of one to one lessons.


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    #7
    smeal
    Registered Users Posts: 623 ✭✭✭smeal


    I'm 24 and I can't swim. Its something I would like to be able to do but I am just terrified by it. I can paddle around a pool on holidays but that is literally it and even at that I need to be able to touch the floor with my feet at all times. As a child I used to muster up any excuse I could to avoid going for swimming lessons with school.

    I'd consider myself a decent cook but I just cannot poach a god-damn egg!!!!!


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    #8
    _Dara_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭_Dara_


    Drive. As in, I have never even sat behind the wheel of a car.

    And yeah, actually, I can't rollerskate or rollerblade either. I just fall on my arse.

    Or snap my fingers. Bleedin' useful, so I am.


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    #9
    Are Am Eye
    Registered Users Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭Are Am Eye


    _Dara_ wrote: »
    I have never even sat behind the wheel of a car.

    It's best not to. If the handbrake fails then the car could roll back and over you. Over two tonnes.


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    #10
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    For me it has to be swimming too. I've spent a lot of my life near, on or in water and have had a few near misses but I just could never seem to get the knack of swimming despite taking lessons several times and being very confident in water. Even to be able to float would be brilliant for me.

    I can't sew properly - according to Mrs S and I can't draw a straight line with a ruler. I really envy people who can sketch or paint.


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    #11
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    See far without glasses


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    #12
    Grateful Dread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 99 ✭✭Grateful Dread


    I can swim, rolleblade, ice skate, follow maps etc, but I cannot for the life of me iron a shirt to a reasonable standard.


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    #13
    razorblunt
    Registered Users Posts: 17,300 ✭✭✭✭razorblunt


    Click my fingers


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    #14
    MilesMorales1
    Registered Users Posts: 6,431 ✭✭✭MilesMorales1


    ****ing ironing. Doesn't matter how hard I try, the clothes always end up more creased when I'm finished then when I started.


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    #15
    tringle
    Registered Users Posts: 865 ✭✭✭tringle


    I can't speak French and I really want to.


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    #16
    notsoyoungwan
    Registered Users Posts: 614 ✭✭✭notsoyoungwan


    I can’t whistle

    Although I’m right-handed I can’t use a knife in my right hand if I’m using a fork with my left- ie I can use a knife in my right hand to butter bread etc but if eating a meal and using a knife and fork I need to use the knife in my left hand and the fork in my right.

    I struggle to uncork wine without breaking the cork in two

    I can’t hang pictures or do much DIY around the house

    I can raise my left eyebrow on its own to convey scepticism, and can raise both simultaneously but cannot raise my right one on its own


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    #17
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    I can’t do even the most basic of maths in my head. I know my 8x tables off by heart because they were pretty much bet into me, but that is the limit of my mathematical genius.
    I don’t get percentages, like when something is 25% off or whatever, it does not compute. I still count using my fingers.


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    #18
    GBX
    Registered Users Posts: 11,917 ✭✭✭✭GBX


    Cant swim!


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    #19
    Everlong1
    Registered Users Posts: 883 ✭✭✭Everlong1


    Can't drive either. Toyed with the idea of getting lessons recently but I don't need it for work and decided it was pointless throwing massive amounts of money into something I'd get little benefit out of just to have the skill.

    I did have a motorbike for a few years but it kept robbed by scummers so just gave up on it.


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    #20
    Mint Sauce
    Registered Users Posts: 29,294 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    Whistle, build a decent fire (or at least one that doesn't take almost an hour to get going), work the timer on the oven, see hardly at all without glasses, wink both eyes.

    I am sure there are others if I think long enough.


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    #21
    miss_darcey
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭miss_darcey


    I can't swim properly...self taught splashy paddling
    I can't cartwheel
    I can't do a proper Sunday roast without butchering it (sorry for the pun!)
    I can't work my own grill

    I'm not very useful it seems!


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    #22
    von Smallhausen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,162 ✭✭✭von Smallhausen


    I can't drive either. It doesn't help that my peripheral vision and general eyesight is abysmal. That and the fact that I am a short arse and just about able to see of the the steering wheel anyway.


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    #23
    Roadtoad
    Registered Users Posts: 750 ✭✭✭Roadtoad


    Never really figured out the Lorenz equations.


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    #24
    Gunmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,067 ✭✭✭Gunmonkey


    Could never do a head over heels roll....always ended up with some sideways abomination.

    Can drive...as in I know how to make a car crawl along...in an enclosed are with nobody around. Would imagine my first driving lesson will be me crawling along at 15km/h, traffic packed up behind, instructor staring at me and me sweating bullets, lamenting the hubris of mankind for wishing to travel at such velocity!

    Add another to the lead brick in water camp. Even though I did lessons as a kid, where part of my brain is telling me "this stuff will stop you drowning, we should learn it", the other part is screaming "YEAH WELL NEVER TOUCHING WATER AGAIN IS ALSO A GREAT WAY TO NOT DROWN TOO, LETS DO THAT!!" Kinda depressing for a nation of people living on an island that weve so many that cant swim....


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    #25
    beertons
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 23,063 ✭✭✭✭beertons


    Tie a balloon.
    Whistle with my fingers.


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    #26
    fergiesfolly
    Registered Users Posts: 3,325 ✭✭✭fergiesfolly


    Tie a Windsor knot in a tie.
    It's either the size of a football or too bloody short and I look like a six year old.


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    #27
    RiderOnTheStorm
    Registered Users Posts: 2,098 ✭✭✭RiderOnTheStorm


    Pretty good at swimming, even though I nearly drowned once. Good at teaching it too!

    Cant work zips. 50% chance I will snag it, or fail to align the 2 sides, etc. Maybe its because I am left handed and all zips are designed for right handed folk .


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    #28
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    Not to be boorish but I could never have a quick poo.


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    #29
    theteal
    Registered Users Posts: 7,593 ✭✭✭theteal


    Hande hoche! wrote: »
    Can't snap my fingers.

    I can't do this with my right (good) hand but I can with my left :confused:


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    #30
    Jack Kanoff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,119 ✭✭✭Jack Kanoff


    Can't drive
    Can't swim
    Can't impregnate a woman naturally
    Can't fold a shirt


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    #31
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Can't put on my drawers or jeans standing up. I have to sit down or it's a guarantee I'll get myself tangled up and keel over with one foot in a pocket or something.

    I can't open wine bottles without macerating the cork. Good job I don't drink the stuff.

    Can't read without my specs.

    Can't tell my left from my other left without thinking about it for a nanosec.


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