Have you ever had an unwanted sexual experience? Mod warning in op - updated 6/3/18

wakka12 · 19-02-2018 07:19PM

Kyson Witty Vestibule wrote: »

I was raped at 17 and I’ve spent my whole adult life never feeling clean within my own body. If I was ever in that position again, being raped and knowing now what I didn’t know then, I’d have no problem doing whatever it took to make it stop, and yes, if that meant stabbing him, that’s on him.

If you are being raped your life could be at stake and most people would agree any force necessary to stop it is reasonable, so its not comparable

banie01 · 19-02-2018 07:22PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

There's no comparison between the two circumstances you're attempting to draw a comparison between btw.

So the reason why someone had a glass smashed in their head has an effect on whether the injury inflicted is potentially catastrophic?

kylith wrote: »

Basically anything you do to someone could wind up having unforseen consequences. .

kylith wrote: »

Yes, it would. It would be an unfortunate consequence, but when you attack someone you have to take your chances vis a vis how they react.

We don't know that he had his face slashed.

Yes any action can have unforeseen consequences, however smashing a glass into someone at the very least leads to laceration and dependent upon where the blow lands, facial scarring, ocular and oral injury are not only foreseeable but are to be reasonably expected.

We don't know that he had his face slashed, true.
But given the circumstance of the reaction it would certainly be a plainly foreseeable outcome and one if avoided was luckily so.

What the perpetrator did is in no way excusable, and I completely understand that GT's 1st reaction was instinctive.
That doesn't mean it was appropriate reaction.

Kimbot · 19-02-2018 07:23PM

pjohnson wrote: »

Pubs here have knives to cut the lemons/lime barstaff will give it to a regular to cut their own if they are busy at the bar serving a big crowd.

But sure theres no scale. Touch a woman and she is allowed do whatever the fcuk she wants and its called "defence".

There's a limit to what's considered defense. What the poster above has said is a guy tried to motorboat her, now take a minute to put yourself in that position. Your holding 2 pints so your hands are full, there's a bloke about to bury his face in your chest for ****s and giggles. You can't push him back because your hands are full so your reaction would be to back up and your hands would go towards them so there is a big chance that the pints are going to fall and break in anyway so if they get broke over his head then he only has himself to blame for initiating it in the first place. The surroundings alone would be hazardous in most clubs don't forget with spilt drink etc. It's not like the poster actually sought out the glasses to break over their head.

eviltwin · 19-02-2018 07:24PM

If you don't want to get a glass over your head don't sexually assault someone

georgina toadbum · 19-02-2018 07:24PM

He had a minor cut on his head. It was the top of his head I hit considering his face was buried in my chest. No stitches needed.

For those wondering how the pervert was.

eviltwin · 19-02-2018 07:25PM

georgina toadbum wrote: »

He had a minor cut on his head. No stitches needed.

For those wondering how the pervert was.

Pity

19-02-2018 07:25PM

pjohnson wrote: »

Pubs here have knives to cut the lemons/lime barstaff will give it to a regular to cut their own if they are busy at the bar serving a big crowd.

they shouldn't do that ever, especially if it's busy. That's negligent as f*ck. I've never seen it myself and out in Dublin City

pjohnson wrote: »

Touch a woman and she is allowed do whatever the fcuk she wants and its called "defence".

Just don't touch them in a harassing fashion uninvited and there'll be no issue.

Ajsoprano · 19-02-2018 07:26PM

Try_harder wrote: »

How did you jump to that from my post???

You are milking this thread. Your poor friends have to go to gay bars so they won’t get sexually assaulted.

You’ve Jeremy Kyled the thread a few times too.

It does nothing to help victims of attacks it just makes people roll their eyes and say ah jaysis not again.

kylith · 19-02-2018 07:32PM

banie01 wrote: »

Yes any action can have unforeseen consequences, however smashing a glass into someone at the very least leads to laceration and dependent upon where the blow lands, facial scarring, ocular and oral injury are not only foreseeable but are to be reasonably expected.

We don't know that he had his face slashed, true.
But given the circumstance of the reaction it would certainly be a plainly foreseeable outcome and one if avoided was luckily so.

What the perpetrator did is in no way excusable, and I completely understand that GT's 1st reaction was instinctive.
That doesn't mean it was appropriate reaction.

The thing about instinct is that it usually doesn't give you time to consider what reaction is appropriate.

Crimson King · 19-02-2018 07:33PM

Omackeral wrote: »

I'd be careful with that stuff. I've seen couples fighting and passers-by trying to interject or make peace only for BOTH of those having the lover's tiff to turn around and bash the peacekeeper.

I went on a stag years ago in Galway and the brides bro came along. Very nice chap and did his best to keep up with us but gave up after a few hours. On his way back to his hotel room he bumped into a couple fighting in the street and the bloke was punching his partner. He unwisely stepped between them and got punched by both.

When he started to question the girl saying he was just helping her he was sucker punched by the bloke and woke up in hospital with a broken jaw. Missed the wedding and all. Still makes me angry as he was such a decent bloke trying to do the right thing and he missed his sisters wedding over it.

Lia_lia wrote: »

I was in a late bar one night when I was about 21 and had a fairly short dress on with no tights, which is unusual for me. Anyway this man (about my Dad’s age) stuck his fingers up my dress and into my knickers...I turned around and hit him in the face and he denied it! Even-though there were a few witnesses. Thankfully the bouncers kicked him out.

This is awful. As a father of a young girl it destroys me thinking she could face blokes like this. There really are creeps out there.

Personally I've had my arse pinched and groped by a number of girls in clubs. If I question it I'm sure it's 'only a laugh, lighten up will ye? '. Once I had a bride in a hen party 'cup' me down there and most of the hen party laughed. They were gas craic I assume.... Meanwhile im fuming as even the bouncers joined in laughing. I pretty much hate nightclubs in general so don't go anymore.

pjohnson · 19-02-2018 07:33PM

Omackeral wrote: »

they shouldn't do that ever, especially if it's busy. That's negligent as f*ck. I've never seen it myself and out in Dublin City

maybe thats just a thing in non Dublin pubs?. Its not that often but they will just roll ya the lemon and leave the knife while they see to others. Only if your fairly sound aswell mind and not roaring at them. Thought it was common :pac:

Allinall · 19-02-2018 07:34PM

Omackeral wrote: »

they shouldn't do that ever, especially if it's busy. That's negligent as f*ck. I've never seen it myself and out in Dublin City

Just don't touch them in a harassing fashion uninvited and there'll be no issue.

I had a steak in a pub a couple of weeks ago and they gave me a steak knife, the negligent bastards.

One eyed Jack · 19-02-2018 07:42PM

banie01 wrote: »

So the reason why someone had a glass smashed in their head has an effect on whether the injury inflicted is potentially catastrophic?

I can't really make any sense of what you're asking here, but I'm guessing what you're asking is whether or not a persons actions justify them being glassed. In the examples of the people you know who were glassed, I'm guessing they weren't committing sexual assault at the time, so that's why I wouldn't compare their circumstances to georgina's circumstances.

Secondly, the comparison I was referring to that doesn't stand up is this one -

banie01 wrote: »

Getting up and leaving your house with big boobs is far less an imposition then applying scar make up and putting in a false eye before heading outside.

Her physical attributes aren't georgina's fault, and it's certainly not an invitation to all and sundry to commit sexual assault just because she happens to be there, whether you might call it the wrong place at the wrong time. It doesn't matter whether they are or aren't an imposition, as it's just not comparable to the imposition of a false eye, bit of a weird comparison and wholly irrelevant IMO tbh.

Katgurl · 19-02-2018 07:48PM

georgina toadbum wrote: »

Why would i bother reporting it when there are people like you in this world who doesn't see anything wrong with what he did?

Sorry but smashing (seriously smashing the glass???) over his head is not anywhere close to an appropriate response. You could have killed or brain damaged him.

Pouring the drinks over his head, jumping back out of the way, pushing him off, slapping him... All or any of those would be understandable reactions. Potentially killing him is not.

And as for being upset with your warning; you could have ended up in prison.

Koala Sunshine · 19-02-2018 07:49PM

kylith wrote: »

The thing about instinct is that it usually doesn't give you time to consider what reaction is appropriate.

Said the man to the judge after murdering his wife when learning she shagged his best friend.

wakka12 · 19-02-2018 07:51PM

Katgurl wrote: »

Sorry but smashing (seriously smashing the glass???) over his head is not anywhere close to an appropriate response. You could have killed or brain damaged him.

Pouring the drinks over his head, jumping back out of the way, pushing him off, slapping him... All or any of those would be understandable reactions. Potentially killing him is not.

And as for being upset with your warning; you could have ended up in prison.

I wonder if those defending would say its okay if a girl was very sexually grinding up against a guys dick and he had glasses in his hand in a busy club and glassed her in the back of the head
No you'd say he was excessive if he did that

Sebastian Dangerfield · 19-02-2018 07:51PM

Was in the sack with an ex, her on top. Halfway through I got an unmerciful cramp in the sole of my foot, excrutiating stuff altogether. I shouted at her to stop and get off. She was close to the finish line herself so she held me down for 30 seconds or so til she was done.

Bit of an awkward silence after, and we never mentioned it again. Not sure if Id go as far as "unwanted" but her lack of respect really hurt. Not as much as my foot did,but hurt nonetheless

#metoo

pjohnson · 19-02-2018 07:52PM

Allinall wrote: »

I had a steak in a pub a couple of weeks ago and they gave me a steak knife, the negligent bastards.

That makes you a posh steak eating bastard :pac:

georgina toadbum · 19-02-2018 07:52PM

wakka12 wrote: »

I wonder if those defending would say its okay if a girl was very sexually grinding up against a guys dick and he had glasses in his hand in a busy club and glassed her in the back of the head
No you'd say he was excessive if he did that

I sincerely hope no man is ever put in a horrible position like that.

Koala Sunshine · 19-02-2018 07:53PM

Sebastian Dangerfield wrote: »

Was in the sack with an ex, her on top. Halfway through I got an unmerciful cramp in the sole of my foot, excrutiating stuff altogether. I shouted at her to stop and get off. She was close to the finish line herself so she held me down for 30 seconds or so til she was done.

Bit of an awkward silence after, and we never mentioned it again. Not sure if Id go as far as "unwanted" but her lack of respect really hurt. Not as much as my foot did,but hurt nonetheless

#metoo

Some people would call that rape.

wakka12 · 19-02-2018 07:55PM

georgina toadbum wrote: »

I sincerely hope no man is ever put in a horrible position like that.

What if he's gay?

Ajsoprano · 19-02-2018 07:55PM

Koala Sunshine wrote: »

Some people would call that rape.

Some people would claim he doesn’t even have feet.

Koala Sunshine · 19-02-2018 07:56PM

Ajsoprano wrote: »

Some people would claim he doesn’t even have feet.

georgina toadbum · 19-02-2018 07:56PM

wakka12 wrote: »

What if he's gay?

What has his sexuality got to do with it?

kylith · 19-02-2018 07:57PM

Koala Sunshine wrote: »

Said the man to the judge after murdering his wife when learning she shagged his best friend.

I'm sorry? How is that remotely connected to what we're talking about?

Ajsoprano · 19-02-2018 07:58PM

georgina toadbum wrote: »

What has his sexuality got to do with it?

What’s sexuality but a secondhand emotion.

Koala Sunshine · 19-02-2018 07:59PM

kylith wrote: »

I'm sorry? How is that remotely connected to what we're talking about?

It demonstrates that "acting on instincts" is no excuse.

Sebastian Dangerfield · 19-02-2018 08:00PM

Koala Sunshine wrote: »

Some people would call that rape.

Maybe. She made me a fry after though

One eyed Jack · 19-02-2018 08:01PM

wakka12 wrote: »

I wonder if those defending would say its okay if a girl was very sexually grinding up against a guys dick and he had glasses in his hand in a busy club and glassed her in the back of the head
No you'd say he was excessive if he did that

They're not the same circumstances you're comparing though. In order to be comparable on any level, the circumstances would have to be if a guy was attempting to sexually assault another man and that man reacted by glassing the guy. I'd still be saying the same thing tbh. I wouldn't feel the same threat from a girl doing what you're describing so in those circumstances I'd absolutely say it was excessive. I don't see any double standards between two completely different sets of circumstances.

kylith · 19-02-2018 08:02PM

wakka12 wrote: »

I wonder if those defending would say its okay if a girl was very sexually grinding up against a guys dick and he had glasses in his hand in a busy club and glassed her in the back of the head
No you'd say he was excessive if he did that

If she went to grab his crotch and in pushing her away she was injured by something he had in his hand then I would also say that it was her own fault.

Have you ever had an unwanted sexual experience? Mod warning in op - updated 6/3/18

Comments