Affair / Sexual chemistry

Malayalam wrote: »

If you are genuine, OP...

first of all I don't know what is with all the shock here about people having affairs. Affairs seem to be blooming de rigeur. People are regularly being unfaithful to each other. It's not like OP would be doing something ''special''.

And OP, that is the crux. It's not all that special at all, although you are using it to make yourself feel special. It's not something new, it's very basic biology and psychology. I would imagine you are bored, somewhere inside, in spite of protestations about happy love.

Most of sex - the very very most - is what happens between our ears. The consensual contact between any normalish penis and any normalish vagina is generally within a fairly limited, albeit pleasant, possible range of sensation. It's just physics. It's not like some people have special c0cks or anything, that cause electrical explosions upon contact, etc. So, what you have is not so much physical chemistry with this guy, as mental and emotional chemistry/projection. It is the mind that makes sex sizzle most. And the mind is super powerful.

Most people in long marriages go through periods of lusting after others. Maybe not all, but most, I reckon. And I mean real intense obsessive longing - after all the desire for mind-altering erotic bliss and self-forgetfulness in the body is a very strong one. It can last the space of a thought, or it can be incubated to last for a very long time. It depends what you choose to do with it. It depends how aware you are of yourself. You are a willing participant in the process.

Understanding and accepting your instinctive drives, but then disciplining yourself because you recognise the fundamental fallacies upon which the projection rests and becoming a mature human being is the remedy IF you wish to pursue monogamy.

If you don't wish to pursue monogamy and respect your faithful partner, then do whatever you want. You are your own moral boss. Own yourself like a grown up. Nobody else much cares what people do with their bits and pieces, except those directly involved.




My inclination would be to cultivate the long-time love and sexual relationship that is already there.

worded wrote: »

Mammy is so 2017

We have the morals of the Roman Empire but as a lot of single parents find out
Society was built around two parents funding the upbringing of their off spring.

So for those who can’t keep their nickers up, enjoy the short lived fun, but when the bills drop in the letter box, that new love will be out the window probably.

And to think that people put their genitalia beofre their own childerens mental health is astounding. People willing to break up a family for a few orgasms.

If you favour sexual pleaseure versus raising your childeren you are a flawed human being in my opinion. It’s child cruelty. You could have got a puppy instead of bringing a child into the world but a lot of people are not even fit to look after an animal let alone their own off spring

Raise you childeren you hoe