Affair / Sexual chemistry

AwareWolf

New to this so hope I'm posting in right place. Never had an affair. Very happily married. Clicked with someone recently. And the chemistry was unreal! Didn't have sex nearly did. Married 15 years. Have never experienced this sexual chemistry. Now can't get it out of my head and want him NOW! But afraid of how I'll feel afterwards, and can I really forget it if I get it out of my system?

me_irl

Have a ****, frig.

AwareWolf

Did you presume I'm a man? Sorry should have said....I'm a mum.

368100

Sounds like a crush/lust rather than any real feelings.

Of course you can forget about it....it'll just take willpower and time, without seeing him.........and maybe a renewed focus on your marriage ....assuming you want to remain in it.

johnayo

This should get interesting:cool:

Outlaw Pete

Become swingers with your other half........ that way you both get to have extramarital liaisons.

worded

I trad that xmas is the most likely time to have an affair AND most likely
To get caught

Mid life crisis ? You are happily married ?

I can’t understand people having affairs, what about loyalty? Morals ?

eviltwin

If you are happy why would you want to shag someone else? Your husband doesn't deserve that.

AwareWolf

Totally want to stay in marriage. Am going no where as such. Don't want relationship just want to experience some thing that I know is going to be very good..... For the first time ever! It will b amazing sex. So you think it's possible to forget it afterwards. .?

LincolnHawk

I remember when I found out about chemistry
It was a long, long way from here
I was old enough to want it but younger than I wanted to be
Suddenly my mission was clear
So for awhile I conducted experiments
And I was amazed by the things I learned
From a fine fine girl with nothing but good intentions and a
Bad tendency to get burned
All about chemistry
Won't you show me everything you know
Ah wonder what you do to me
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh

LincolnHawk

<double post>

Roger Hassenforder

If you're alright with potentially losing your other half and breaking up the family, go for it.

But remember grass isnt as easy to cut as it looks, and you'll never be able to buy anything in a jar again.

eviltwin

AwareWolf wrote: »

Totally want to stay in marriage. Am going no where as such. Don't want relationship just want to experience some thing that I know is going to be very good..... For the first time ever! It will b amazing sex. So you think it's possible to forget it afterwards. .?

Is one shag worth losing your husband? What about the impact on your children? Are you really willing to risk that for what will probably be average sex.

AwareWolf

eviltwin wrote: »

If you are happy why would you want to shag someone else? Your husband doesn't deserve that.

I actually think he'd b ok with it once I don't fall fie some one else..... The swingers idea I thought of but doubt he'd want to b with some one else he's likely to say....u work away...I'm fine...... Then I'd feel guilty.

PandaPoo

AwareWolf wrote: »

Totally want to stay in marriage. Am going no where as such. Don't want relationship just want to experience some thing that I know is going to be very good..... For the first time ever! It will b amazing sex. So you think it's possible to forget it afterwards. .?

Nope. It's something you can never take back. I love my husband, I could never do that to him. I would feel like I let myself down too, I treat him as I want him to treat me.

I adore him, our kids, our life together....i wouldn't ever risk it.

368100

AwareWolf wrote: »

Totally want to stay in marriage. Am going no where as such. Don't want relationship just want to experience some thing that I know is going to be very good..... For the first time ever! It will b amazing sex. So you think it's possible to forget it afterwards. .?

I meant you can forget about the crush/lust in time if it's not acted on. As for acting on it, if it were me I'd carry it on my conscience forever, but maybe you won't.

In any event your sound like you're describing doing a parachute jump or something....just after the experience. How would you feel if this was your husband debating on whether to have sex with someone else because he thought it'd be a great shag?

Imagine trying to explain it if you got caught.....not that you had feelings for the guy..."you just knew it'd be great sex".

I'd have you out the door before you said anything else

Fr_Dougal

AwareWolf wrote: »

I actually think he'd b ok with it once I don't fall fie some one else..... The swingers idea I thought of but doubt he'd want to b with some one else he's likely to say....u work away...I'm fine...... Then I'd feel guilty.

If he was here right now I’m sure he’d remind you of your vowels.

PandaPoo

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

If he was here right now I’m sure he’d remind you of your vowels.

Don't forget the consonants!

Joeseph Balls

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

If he was here right now I’m sure he’d remind you of your vowels.

Why, is he some sort of spelling freak?

EndaHonesty

Kerri Ann stay with Decco!

Mondo's not worth it.

Fr_Dougal

PandaPoo wrote: »

Don't forget the consonants!

The consonants are not the problem...

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

AwareWolf

PandaPoo wrote: »

Nope. It's something you can never take back. I love my husband, I could never do that to him. I would feel like I let myself down too, I treat him as I want him to treat me.

I adore him, our kids, our life together....i wouldn't ever risk it.

There it is the line or thing I'm afraid of "it's some thing you can never take back" we have unbelievable trust. I'd tell him. I wouldn't go behind his back. Breaking the family isn't the issue. My question is can I go there knowing there are no risks with what I have and then mentally move on. Can a woman do that? I've never been with some one else!

policy75

I suggest you grow up. Dump your boyfriend. Have sex with somebody else. But can you please not have us to put up with your guilt writings. Please do or dont do but please leave us alone. Grow up

Joeseph Balls

AwareWolf wrote: »

There it is the line or thing I'm afraid of "it's some thing you can never take back" we have unbelievable trust. I'd tell him. I wouldn't go behind his back. Breaking the family isn't the issue. My question is can I go there knowing there are no risks with what I have and then mentally move on. Can a woman do that? I've never been with some one else!

Well tell him you want to ride the ****e out of another fella so. See how he reacts.

eviltwin

AwareWolf wrote: »

There it is the line or thing I'm afraid of "it's some thing you can never take back" we have unbelievable trust. I'd tell him. I wouldn't go behind his back. Breaking the family isn't the issue. My question is can I go there knowing there are no risks with what I have and then mentally move on. Can a woman do that? I've never been with some one else!

Tell him before or tell him after?

AwareWolf

policy75 wrote: »

I suggest you grow up. Dump your boyfriend. Have sex with somebody else. But can you please not have us to put up with your guilt writings. Please do or dont do but please leave us alone. Grow up

That's a ridiculous response. I won't engage further with you and you don't have to read my posts. End of.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

The Princess Bride

AwareWolf wrote: »

Totally want to stay in marriage. Am going no where as such. Don't want relationship just want to experience some thing that I know is going to be very good..... For the first time ever! It will b amazing sex. So you think it's possible to forget it afterwards. .?

You don't know that it's going to be good.
It could be the worst sex ever.
Then you'd never forget it for sure.

Outlaw Pete

AwareWolf wrote: »

The swingers idea I thought of but doubt he'd want to b with some one else he's likely to say....u work away...I'm fine...... Then I'd feel guilty.

Bring a female home some night..... he'd change his mind then, perhaps.

Whatever you do, just be honest about it, before you do it... there's always consequences for secrets and lies.

AwareWolf

eviltwin wrote: »

Tell him before or tell him after?

I already mentioned the possibility of it. And said I wouldn't go there if it meant the end of marriage and he said it wouldn't. He's amazing really. Will love him til the day I die. Fact. As I say that's not the issue......

fergus1001

What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, except for chlamydia that **** will haunt you

What did your husband do to deserve this ?

eviltwin

AwareWolf wrote: »

I already mentioned the possibility of it. And said I wouldn't go there if it meant the end of marriage and he said it wouldn't. He's amazing really. Will love him til the day I die. Fact.

Did he know you were serious? Thread carefully, it's very easy to be okay about an abstract idea that might never happen. In reality, he might have a harder time dealing with it. Does he know the other guy?

fergus1001

Say it to your husband and get him to ring you right before to tell you "Execute order 66"

Drumpot

Don’t go chasing waterfalls

Joeseph Balls

AwareWolf wrote: »

I already mentioned the possibility of it. And said I wouldn't go there if it meant the end of marriage and he said it wouldn't. He's amazing really. Will love him til the day I die. Fact. As I say that's not the issue......

He's a gob****e or is off riding elsewhere himself if that was his response.
More likely though, this is a poor attempt at trolling.

AwareWolf

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Bring a female home some night..... he'd change his mind then, perhaps.

Whatever you do, just be honest about it, before you do it... there's always consequences for secrets and lies.

Totally agree.. Have always been honest with each other

uck51js9zml2yt

Op I suggest you ask a moderator to move your post to the relationship forum.
You're unlikely to get many sensible answers in after hours.

PandaPoo

eviltwin wrote: »

Did he know you were serious? Thread carefully, it's very easy to be okay about an abstract idea that might never happen. In reality, he might have a harder time dealing with it. Does he know the other guy?

That's true, and also he might just love his wife and kids and not want to lose them. He would rather his wife cheated and he stayed with her than lose them, which is really sad and the OP shouldn't consider going ahead with it....it could really hurt the husband in the long run.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

AwareWolf

eviltwin wrote: »

Did he know you were serious? Thread carefully, it's very easy to be okay about an abstract idea that might never happen. In reality, he might have a harder time dealing with it. Does he know the other guy?

Yes he did. Saying he might have harder time dealing with it does worry me. Thanks for that point.

Arghus

You came to the right place brand new boards user, amazing how you found after hours so quickly, you'll get loads of sincere advice around here.

AwareWolf

FizzleSticks wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

This has made me think. Thanks

BoardsMember

Cross the line once and you will never be the same. It could be amazing. But you will never be you again. And it is you that matters. Do it if you have to, but know that forever after you will wish you had not, and you will wish you could be the person you were. Nobody may ever know. But you will. And really thst is all that matters.

AwareWolf

Arghus wrote: »

You came to the right place brand new boards user, amazing how you found after hours so quickly, you'll get loads of sincere advice around here.

You're being sarcastic I take it, this has been going round and round in my head. I just wanted opinions .... It's the reason I've joined boards. There's no one I can talk to about this..... Because my good old Catholic ireland family would KILL me.

Hang on Now

AwareWolf wrote: »

New to this so hope I'm posting in right place. Never had an affair. Very happily married. Clicked with someone recently. And the chemistry was unreal! Didn't have sex nearly did. Married 15 years. Have never experienced this sexual chemistry. Now can't get it out of my head and want him NOW! But afraid of how I'll feel afterwards, and can I really forget it if I get it out of my system?

Well you know what Oscar Wilde aid about temptation!

wakka12

I think its silly to potentially have a happy 15 years of marriage end in tears and fighting and possibly hating each other for for a silly little fling. The chance of him finding out is not worth a night of sex with this guy. But anyway, this isn't the point you shouldn't do it as you wouldn't want your husband to treat you that way either surely.

Drumpot

AwareWolf wrote: »

This has made me think. Thanks

I’m dubious about this thread but playing along with this , what does your husband want? Who brought this up? (Topic or being with other people?). Is this “my husband just wants me to be happy?” Or is there any chance you are deluding yourself and totally taking him up wrong or putting him under pressure? (If he’s playing along just to keep you or maintain marriage it doesn’t mean it won’t hurt him!)

Doing something potentially hurtful to a partner with or without their knowledge isn’t exactly a sign of love or very respectful. If he truly doesn’t care that’s different I suppose but since you are the one looking to do the deed it’s hard not to imagine anybody is happy for their wife to want to ride another person. You have painted a very abnormal picture of the stereotypical marriage , It’s certainly not my idea of marriage and exclusivity with a partner. I think that’s one of the few things in marriage that’s something people only share with each other. That and kids!

AwareWolf

BoardsMember wrote: »

Cross the line once and you will never be the same. It could be amazing. But you will never be you again. And it is you that matters. Do it if you have to, but know that forever after you will wish you had not, and you will wish you could be the person you were. Nobody may ever know. But you will. And really thst is all that matters.

That's always been my fear. But I kissed this guy it was great. I had no regret cause I told hubby. And now I want more? Maybe I'm a selfish bitch..... But I actually think it's to do with my up bringing and lack of sexual experience...... I really wish I had more relationships and experience of sex when in my 20's.

AwareWolf

Drumpot wrote: »

I’m dubious about this thread but playing along with this , what does your husband want? Who brought this up? (Topic or being with other people?). Is this “my husband just wants me to be happy?” Or is there any chance you are deluding yourself and totally taking him up wrong or putting him under pressure? (If he’s playing along just to keep you or maintain marriage it doesn’t mean it won’t hurt him!)

Doing something potentially hurtful to a partner with or without their knowledge isn’t exactly a sign of love or very respectful. If he truly doesn’t care that’s different I suppose but since you are the one looking to do the deed it’s hard not to imagine anybody is happy for their wife to want to ride another person. You have painted a very abnormal picture of the stereotypical marriage , It’s certainly not my idea of marriage and exclusivity with a partner. I think that’s one of the few things in marriage that’s something people only share with each other. That and kids!

Why are you dubious about this thread? I know I'm not the norm. Never was. Probably why I'm using the Internet for opinions. No one I'm friendly with would even believe this if I told them. Is this not the upside to the Internet? Otherwise it's a counsellor I'll have to pay to listen to me.....and yes the exclusivity of sex only between us is prob one of the special things about marriage. So that's a nice reminder for me.

368100

AwareWolf wrote: »

That's always been my fear. But I kissed this guy it was great. I had no regret cause I told hubby. And now I want more? Maybe I'm a selfish bitch..... But I actually think it's to do with my up bringing and lack of sexual experience...... I really wish I had more relationships and experience of sex when in my 20's.

Nail on the head.....you sound selfish that just wants her cake and eat it too. From what you've described, your husband isn't OK with it, but he'll overlook it rather than lose you. Hardly something to do to someone you love.