Humiliated by bully at the Gym

12-11-2017 03:59PM

Sam Quentin wrote: »

A lot of 'gym instructors' seem quite young nowadays, they may well have the fitness and skills for the job!? But a lot of them lack the maturity and understanding it takes and the privacy a personal trainer job entails...
I know a couple of 'fitness trainers' in my area, and because of my work>> I would see them out drinking getting drunk and socialising every weekend... Surely this isn't acceptable!?

I agree that many are younger but the younger generation are alot more educated regarding the Internet. I recall being in school and having several talks about online behaviour, if anything they have absolutely no excuse, because they have had it drilled into them from the start.

Big Bag of Chips · 12-11-2017 04:08PM

There's a chance he's 'friends' or whatever with others in the gym and somebody else may have advised him to take it down. The gym boss may already be aware of it, but is unsure whether or not you are.

K_P · 12-11-2017 04:12PM

ebbsy wrote: »

You tell him and the gym that you are going on Joe Duffy to talk the whole thing through.

Always focuses the mind.

I can assure you the “threat” of Joe Duffy doesn’t focus the mind. It marks you out as a crank without a valid complaint.

OP, please don’t do that. As others have advised, complain to the gym and consider legal action. This guy’s actions are appalling and he’s a disgrace to his profession. Well done on your progress to date which is incredible. It takes real dedication and hard work and don’t let one **** put you off your goal.

Airyfairy12 · 12-11-2017 04:39PM

Report him. What a despicable arseh**e!

Guffy · 12-11-2017 04:48PM

Id not only complain to the gym but also make other gyms in the area aware of the PT. Absolute gob****e to be fair and shouldn't be supported by gyms to be a trainer.

leggo · 12-11-2017 04:52PM

K_P wrote: »

I can assure you the “threat” of Joe Duffy doesn’t focus the mind. It marks you out as a crank without a valid complaint.

Like I'd advise the OP to go through the procedure first too, but Joe Duffy is no laughing matter if you're the company at the other end of it! I was on it before to defend a company I had worked with who were victims of a super-spurious complaint, and it was an extremely stressful time for all involved, being slated on one of Ireland's most listened to radio programmes can devastate (even finish) a small business. If anything, I'd say it's too heavy handed because the risk is it removes any chance for the PT to learn and grow because he'd be absolutely untouchable for a long time afterwards.

Wesser · 12-11-2017 05:40PM

God that is awful!!!!
I would DESTROY him!!!

Wesser · 12-11-2017 05:43PM

This is not a spurious complaint.
This is not a before and after photo to commend his client which he posted without his permission.
This is an intentional malicious planned act to poke fun at a vulnerable person who is PAYING!! Him.

leggo · 12-11-2017 06:16PM

Wesser wrote: »

This is not a spurious complaint.
This is not a before and after photo to commend his client which he posted without his permission.
This is an intentional malicious planned act to poke fun at a vulnerable person who is PAYING!! Him.

Yeah I think you need to re-read my post.

OldMrBrennan83 · 12-11-2017 06:25PM

This post has been deleted.

Estrellita · 12-11-2017 06:28PM

He had no qualms about humiliating you publicly, so you need spare him no sympathy if he loses his job. He behaved in a very nasty unprofessional way.

Part of that job is to assist people on their weight loss journey. If he can't behave in a professional manner and to be discreet about each person's personal plan, then perhaps he is in the wrong line of work anyway.

Rologyro · 12-11-2017 06:32PM

I’m so sorry this happened to you OP.

JeffKenna · 12-11-2017 06:38PM

This is totally unacceptable behaviour not only from a professional but from anybody with a sense of decency. My only hope is that this doesn't stop your good work OP.

With regard to the instructor I would complain him to the gym and whatever his professional body is.

Michelle_b · 12-11-2017 06:40PM

He should not be in that job! His job is to help you and motivate people. He is obviously not very good at his job if he feels filming rather than correcting you is way to go and then to make a mockery. Total ass.Tell the gym about him and I am sure there is another PT that would be way more professional and happy to have you as a client. The gym or any gym needs to know this carry on in their place. The amount of people that are probably having similar dealings or are even unaware as might not see his social media or where he sends direct messages.

Well done on the weight loss so far. You are working so hard and if anything should be feeling better than ever

NinetyTwoTeam · 12-11-2017 06:43PM

I would be going hell for leather notifying the gym, notifying the organization who qualified him, and sharing it on social media, and I wouldn't stop until I received an apology and a full refund for whatever he took off you.

Estrellita · 12-11-2017 06:45PM

Sorry OP, I forgot to add that I know how hard it is to lose weight. I've had to lose quite a bit in the past as my weight yo-yo'd a bit due to pregnancies. I've lost several stone in the past and know you need all the motivation and encouragement you can get to keep the hard work up.

I just want to say congratulations on your weight loss, and don't let him side track your journey. You're doing great, keep it up!!

Wesser · 12-11-2017 06:54PM

Yeah I think you need to re-read my post.[/quote]

'Yeah'....I don't.

silverharp · 12-11-2017 07:03PM

id ignore the advice to go on social media, does the op really want to go public where he is then searchable forever. keep this private with club

leggo · 12-11-2017 07:12PM

Wesser wrote: »

'Yeah'....I don't.

You misunderstood me saying that someone called Joe about a company I knew for a spurious complaint as me saying the OP's complaint was spurious when I've been one of the people most strongly pushing the OP to complain on here. Also you misused the quote tag.

Remember, if you're gonna be a smart arse, make sure you're being smart first.

JeffKenna · 12-11-2017 07:15PM

leggo wrote: »

You misunderstood me saying that someone called Joe about a company I knew for a spurious complaint as me saying the OP's complaint was spurious when I've been one of the people most strongly pushing the OP to complain on here. Also you misused the quote tag.

Remember, if you're gonna be a smart arse, make sure you're being smart first.

What are you on about??

Wesser · 12-11-2017 07:26PM

leggo wrote: »

Wesser wrote: »

'Yeah'....I don't.

You misunderstood me saying that someone called Joe about a company I knew for a spurious complaint as me saying the OP's complaint was spurious when I've been one of the people most strongly pushing the OP to complain on here. Also you misused the quote tag.

Remember, if you're gonna be a smart arse, make sure you're being smart first.

I didn't misunderstand you at all.
I didn't quote you at all and my initial 2 posts were nothing got to do with yours.
I'm not a smart arse and I happy with my ability to use to quote tag and alter it as I wish

The_Honeybadger · 12-11-2017 07:35PM

flyovertom wrote: »

The video basically said that I wasn't even trying, and had a full rep where I fell flat on my face, he put in a picture of a mouse and a load of laughing emoticons.

Mother of god!! Op I haven’t read the whole thread so forgive me if there has been some sort of outcome but the above is simply outrageous and unacceptable behaviour. Report him to the gym and show them the video, and if they are any good they will bar him from operating there. If not, find a new gym, I wouldn’t want to give my money to a business that condones this type of behaviour.

WIZWEB · 12-11-2017 07:48PM

OP firstly congrats on your hard work. This PT has enacted a gross violation of your privacy and personal boundaries. I would definately report them to ensure that I was in no way enabling their future bullying of others. If comfortable with that it will also be very empowering. It's also disgusting that this cretin made money from you while being abusive.

Being a male doesn't make us any weaker by being hurt by the inappropriate actions of others. So do not feel embarrassed or shamed by their toxicity. In my case I've witnessed gay shaming of others over the years. The perpetrators get a serious shock when this muscley gym bunny 'outs' and asserts himself. Good luck on your fitness journey. The vast majority of people including other gym users will be hugely supportive and respectful. The gym should address this. He's probably contracted so easy to get rid. He leaves not you.

Mr. Incognito · 13-11-2017 02:23AM

Hello there.

1.its defamatory
2. Depending on the arrangements between him and the gym they also may be liable
3. Pm is not allowed in pi but id advise you to go to a solicitor pronto.

4. If this has affected your mental health you may have a personal injury case.

Id expect a solicitor would be issuing a cease and decist and preservation letter on the gym and the trainer

questionmark? · 13-11-2017 02:40AM

OP there isn't much more I can add to how to deal with that Scumbag PT but I just wanted to say well done on recognising that you needed to get fit and doing something about it. Seen that and losing 2.5 stone isn't easy and is a great achievement. No matter what happens stick to your plan and reach your goal.

dellas1979 · 13-11-2017 11:48AM

His behaviour really isnt anything to do with you, OP. Youre just the subject to his bad behaviour. And fair play to you for stopping it!

As in, his behaviour is his. He is the one loosing. And you can be guaranteed that he has done this to other people. Mr. Personal Trainer needs time for a bit of personal reflection!

Absolutely go to that gym and let them know.

What an ejit. Like, what is he, 12? Obviously childish behaviour carried over to adulthood. Thats for him to deal with.

Mr. Incognito · 13-11-2017 01:31PM

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

I would be going hell for leather notifying the gym, notifying the organization who qualified him, and sharing it on social media, and I wouldn't stop until I received an apology and a full refund for whatever he took off you.

Do not do this.

Sharing it on social media is you disseminating the defamation and will greatly minimise your case/ claim if you go down the legal route

Go directly to a solicitor and let them handle it from there.

sashafierce · 13-11-2017 01:46PM

This post has been deleted.

TheFitnessLife · 13-11-2017 02:31PM

That is simply not on. Fair play to ya OP for your progress so far and whatever ya do don't let this idiot put ya off. Keep up the good work.

Rubberchikken · 13-11-2017 06:15PM

God what a horrible thing to do op.
I haven't a chance to read the replies but someone like that shouldn't be allowed work in any gym. Very unprofessional.

Whatever you do and whatever the outcome, do not let him stop you continuing on the road you're on to a healthy weight.
Tbh this man should be ashamed of himself.
Complain him to the gym if you can. If he dies this to you maybe he's done it to others who aren't brave or strong enough to stand up and speak out.

Humiliated by bully at the Gym

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