Humiliated by bully at the Gym

MAJJ · 12-11-2017 12:17PM

You are courageous and brave by trying to better yourself. You have done brilliantly so far and I'd not let this fool stop you with your goal. Focus on what you have achieved so far and know you can keep going. He is simply a horrible ass hole, no gym would want him near their customers.

Keep going with pride and best of luck to you.

retro:electro · 12-11-2017 12:21PM

Jesus op! That is horrendous and I feel so bad for you. I would absolutely report him to the gym. What a horrible, horrible thing to do. Please don't let this put you off training. There are great trainers out there who would never humiliate you like that and who would only love to help you and fill you with confidence.

He is not a trainer. Trainers don't mock and deride people when they're trying to better themselves.

Yellow pack crisps · 12-11-2017 12:37PM

Report him. Demand your money back from him via through the gym, it's overall their responsibility as he is training on their grounds. Then move on and don't look back. The guy sounds unhinged to be so unawares as to not understand the seriousness of what he did. Why a PT needs a phone is stupid anyway and I know they claim to use it for going back over things but they don't really as if you are doing something wrong they should correct it there and then! In future take control of them and realise they work for you and if you don't want a phone in the session then demand that. Plenty of PT will oblige. Well done on the weight loss very impressive.

Malayalam · 12-11-2017 12:44PM

Just for completeness, I thought to post the rest of my opinion...
I kind of also weirdly feel sorry for the personal Trainer guy, because to be honest that's his career down the drain. When you report him he will most likely lose his access to that gym, maybe even other gyms and then he will not be able to work in the field he has chosen. My son - an awesome person - is working in that field, in fact both my sons are to some extent, and they would never treat someone like that. But maybe you encountered a person who is young, immature, foolish, idiotic, riding a brain fart that he has not seen for what it is. Another option is to tell him up front and clearly that you have the evidence of what he did, that it was very hurtful on a personal level but also highly unprofessional for him, that you could tell the gym, and that he would likely be let go as a result, that you don't want to work with him any more because of his chosen behaviours, but that you also do not wish to see him go down in flames. Move on from him, be self -confident in your own self as you have done amazing but give him the chance to better himself. In the longer run you might feel better about yourself for having given him the chance to be a a better human being?
Just an option? It's one I would go for myself, but i tend to be soft that way. Soft in the head maybe

OldMrBrennan83 · 12-11-2017 12:48PM

This post has been deleted.

retro:electro · 12-11-2017 12:49PM

I don't feel one bit sorry for him. Only a horrible person would do something like that. He can get a job elsewhere, where his soul purpose isn't to encourage and motivate people- features that he severely lacks.
He should be let nowhere near a gym.

Yellow pack crisps · 12-11-2017 12:50PM

Malayalam wrote: »

Just for completeness, I thought to post the rest of my opinion...
I kind of also weirdly feel sorry for the personal Trainer guy, because to be honest that's his career down the drain. When you report him he will most likely lose his access to that gym, maybe even other gyms and then he will not be able to work in the field he has chosen. My son - an awesome person - is working in that field, in fact both my sons are to some extent, and they would never treat someone like that. But maybe you encountered a person who is young, immature, foolish, idiotic, riding a brain fart that he has not seen for what it is. Another option is to tell him up front and clearly that you have the evidence of what he did, that it was very hurtful on a personal level but also highly unprofessional for him, that you could tell the gym, and that he would likely be let go as a result, that you don't want to work with him any more because of his chosen behaviours, but that you also do not wish to see him go down in flames. Move on from him, be self -confident in your own self as you have done amazing but give him the chance to better himself. In the longer run you might feel better about yourself for having given him the chance to be a a better human being?
Just an option? It's one I would go for myself, but i tend to be soft that way. Soft in the head maybe

Complete projection! The guy abused his position! That is abuse. Do you have any idea the mental strength needed to lose 4 stone in weight ace to lose 2.5 stone and be publicly humiliated! Another person might be so traumatised that they never go to a gym again, gain back the weight and suffer serious health consequences as result, mentally and physically. The PT should never be let near a gym again in the capacity as a person who looks after another's wellbeing for profit.

noodler · 12-11-2017 12:50PM

Malayalam wrote: »

Just for completeness, I thought to post the rest of my opinion...
I kind of also weirdly feel sorry for the personal Trainer guy, because to be honest that's his career down the drain. When you report him he will most likely lose his access to that gym, maybe even other gyms and then he will not be able to work in the field he has chosen. My son - an awesome person - is working in that field, in fact both my sons are to some extent, and they would never treat someone like that. But maybe you encountered a person who is young, immature, foolish, idiotic, riding a brain fart that he has not seen for what it is. Another option is to tell him up front and clearly that you have the evidence of what he did, that it was very hurtful on a personal level but also highly unprofessional for him, that you could tell the gym, and that he would likely be let go as a result, that you don't want to work with him any more because of his chosen behaviours, but that you also do not wish to see him go down in flames. Move on from him, be self -confident in your own self as you have done amazing but give him the chance to better himself. In the longer run you might feel better about yourself for having given him the chance to be a a better human being?
Just an option? It's one I would go for myself, but i tend to be soft that way. Soft in the head maybe

Yeah, sounds like you are too close to this, perhaps projecting in relation to your kids?

Don't feel like you have to go soft on him OP.

Malayalam · 12-11-2017 01:00PM

Lol at the projection accusations! I just choose different ways of dealing with horrible people sometimes, ways that may not be the normal. I offered it only as an alternative. Everyone in life is suffering at some level, even this utter bollox of a personal trainer, everyone. I'm not a door mat or projecting. The world is more complicated than the reflexive instinct for outrage and revenge. I take my husband as an example, he will never stick in the knife when the opportunity or reason arises, and will always make allowances for human fraility. I admire that so much in him, so it is his example and wisdom that inspired me to make the suggestion.

retro:electro · 12-11-2017 01:02PM

Good for you?

But there was a clear breach of privacy and professional conduct here. He needs to be sanctioned.

Yellow pack crisps · 12-11-2017 01:07PM

Malayalam wrote: »

Lol at the projection accusations! I just choose different ways of dealing with horrible people sometimes, ways that may not be the normal. I offered it only as an alternative. Everyone in life is suffering at some level, even this utter bollox of a personal trainer, everyone. I'm not a door mat or projecting. The world is more complicated than the reflexive instinct for outrage and revenge. I take my husband as an example, he will never stick in the knife when the opportunity or reason arises, and will always make allowances for human fraility. I admire that so much in him, so it is his example and wisdom that inspired me to make the suggestion.

Revenge? No. Taking action so it's not repeated. You are bringing revenge into it,nobody here did. People's lack of actions can have significant damage to lots of people, surely being in Ireland we know this better than most.

Sam Quentin · 12-11-2017 01:23PM

A lot of 'gym instructors' seem quite young nowadays, they may well have the fitness and skills for the job!? But a lot of them lack the maturity and understanding it takes and the privacy a personal trainer job entails...
I know a couple of 'fitness trainers' in my area, and because of my work>> I would see them out drinking getting drunk and socialising every weekend... Surely this isn't acceptable!?

retro:electro · 12-11-2017 01:26PM

Are you being serious? Why wouldn't they be allowed drink and socialise?! Do you expect them to be benching, 24/7?

There for sure are more personal trainers than you can shake a stick at nowadays, but hey you get cowboys in every profession.

Mitch Connor · 12-11-2017 01:27PM

Sam Quentin wrote: »

A lot of 'gym instructors' seem quite young nowadays, they may well have the fitness and skills for the job!? But a lot of them lack the maturity and understanding it takes and the privacy a personal trainer job entails...
I know a couple of 'fitness trainers' in my area, and because of my work>> I would see them out drinking getting drunk and socialising every weekend... Surely this isn't acceptable!?

What?

Why on earth would it not be acceptable? I can't think of a legitimate reason why.

mfceiling · 12-11-2017 01:31PM

I would let the gym know what happened and that you will cancel your membership if no action is taken.

I would also make other gyms in the area aware of this fools behaviour...would be a shame if he got away with this carry on again.

Sam Quentin · 12-11-2017 01:39PM

Read my post properly before getting crazy. Relax now.
I said a couple of trainers, I said some are very young, drinking EVERY weekend and seem very immature for their position... Jaysizzzz we all know someone who was at the gym for 6 months... Next their telling everyone and their mother that their starting in the local gym next week as a personal trainer. LMAO.
Anyway of course trainers should socialise and maybe just maybe have a couple of beers every now and then!?

Ursus Horribilis · 12-11-2017 01:45PM

I have no sympathy for this guy. It would appear that he lied to the OP about why he was filming him in the first place. "Before" and "After" my foot. It shows a lack of empathy for the people he's working with. Many people who hire personal trainers do so because they've got weight to lose and need extra help and motivation. In other words, they're very different to the people who are working in these gyms and are into fitness anyway. If this guy sees the people he's training as figures of fun, then he has no business working with overweight folk.

OP, I'd definitely try to get money back out of this gym as well as raising the issue with them. I hope they will take this matter very seriously and treat this guy accordingly. I certainly wouldn't put it down as immaturity. It's a meanness of spirit and a reflection of what sort of person he really is.

retro:electro · 12-11-2017 01:48PM

I'd say he has done a lot of damage by posting the video. If I followed him I'd be disgusted by his conduct and would make it my business to avoid ever using him, and would never recommend him to anyone who is looking for training. I bet there were many of his followers who were extremely unimpressed by that video. It reveals more about him than it ever could about you.

harr · 12-11-2017 01:54PM

Let gym know first off then on his Facebook page and what ever other pages he has I would put as many negative reviews as possible and would encourage others to do same..
Post it to your Facebook page and make it public and include the screenshots.
I would not care less if it ruins him he deserves everything he gets for doing that..
If it was me he probably would be needing a new set of teeth by now

Sephiroth_dude · 12-11-2017 02:14PM

Malayalam wrote: »

I kind of also weirdly feel sorry for the personal Trainer guy, because to be honest that's his career down the drain.

How can you feel sorry for this muppet?

neonsofa · 12-11-2017 02:24PM

Jesus i dont know how anybody could feel sorry for someone who did something so deliberately hurtful. And something that is just so at odds with what they are supposed to be doing. It is such a violation. Its disrespectful and its malicious and it goes against what the whole profession is about. I know so many people who are too insecure to go to the gym and feel they will be laughed at and i always try to assure them that nobody would be thinking that way, people would only have respect for their effort. Thats how the majority of people would think. A personal trainer thinking, and more importantly-behaving, differently is not right.

I would definitely inform the gym. I hope you dont let this discourage your amazing progress. I have a lot of admiration for you. It is difficult to make such huge changes and nobody should feel humiliated when doing something so great. Im sorry that happened to you.

Tigger99 · 12-11-2017 02:24PM

anna080 wrote: »

I'd say he has done a lot of damage by posting the video. If I followed him I'd be disgusted by his conduct and would make it my business to avoid ever using him, and would never recommend him to anyone who is looking for training. I bet there were many of his followers who were extremely unimpressed by that video. It reveals more about him than it ever could about you.

This by a million times. Definitely report him to the gym. I saw a pt doing this I would think they were a scumbag and certainly wouldn't use them. He's helped to probably permanently damage his career.

12-11-2017 02:27PM

Sam Quentin wrote: »

A lot of 'gym instructors' seem quite young nowadays, they may well have the fitness and skills for the job!? But a lot of them lack the maturity and understanding it takes and the privacy a personal trainer job entails...
I know a couple of 'fitness trainers' in my area, and because of my work>> I would see them out drinking getting drunk and socialising every weekend... Surely this isn't acceptable!?

Sam Quentin wrote: »

Read my post properly before getting crazy. Relax now.
I said a couple of trainers, I said some are very young, drinking EVERY weekend and seem very immature for their position... Jaysizzzz we all know someone who was at the gym for 6 months... Next their telling everyone and their mother that their starting in the local gym next week as a personal trainer. LMAO.
Anyway of course trainers should socialise and maybe just maybe have a couple of beers every now and then!?

Let's get back on topic here please - to help the OP

leggo · 12-11-2017 02:40PM

People need to have consequences for their actions, or they won't learn or change. This PT needs to lose his job because he's shown to completely misunderstand what his job is, abused his position and the risk is that he'll carry on doing this to others. If he then learns from that experience and moves on and rebuilds his career? Good for him then, we can all make mistakes but we pay the price for those mistakes, learn and move on. The same would apply if he were one of the sons of the person defending him, he is someone's son and that doesn't change what he did regardless. If his career is ruined and he has to start again, then that's on him for making poor life choices. He'll know now that you can eff everything up with one poor decision. We're all on the clock, always, and we shouldn't get to devastate other people and just have it forgiven.

12-11-2017 02:50PM

Don't feel bad about ruining his 'career', he needs to learn a lesson. PT isn't a career anyway, it's just a job. He will be able to go to another gym and carry on. You also have to realise that your results are down to your hard work, not your trainer. I suspect you would have got the same results with any trainer.

For the record, I'm a PT of 15 years and have never come across a trainer that would do what yours has done. Sure, a lot of the younger ones coming through are obsessed with filming themselves and building up a social media following, but they would use social media to advertise their service by showing their clients progress, not ridicule them.

Big Bag of Chips · 12-11-2017 02:56PM

Malayalam, I sort of see where you're coming from, and yes people make mistakes. But on the other hand, if this person is adult enough to be out in the working world, charging people for the use of his service, then he is big enough to take the consequences of his mistakes.

OP, after you approached him he still seemed to think this was 'just a laugh'. It's not. I work in a job that has responsibility attached to it. If I offended, humiliated or made fun of a client of ours I would absolutely expect to be pulled up on it. It's the way the adult world works. If I wasn't then I could carry on believing I'm doing a great job.

I don't think you are likely to ruin his career to the point where he never works again, but you may just cause enough of an inconvenience for him to learn a lesson and mature as a business person. What he did was a sh*tty thing to do. He doesn't respect you enough to believe it when you say it, but if someone he looked up to, or needed as a business associate said it to him, then it is likely to be much more effective.

Go to the gym and ask to privately speak to the manager. They will listen to you and will take your complaint seriously. He may or may not lose out on work in that gym again. But that will be the decision of the gym, and based on his actions... Not yours.

Ursus Horribilis · 12-11-2017 03:13PM

If he isn't pulled up on his actions, he could go on to do this to someone else. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to spot how utterly devastated you are over this. The good thing is that you've got a girlfriend you can talk to and that you were strong enough to message this guy. If he had done this to someone who was more fragile and didn't have someone to talk to, you can only guess what effect it'd have on them.

Dr Crayfish · 12-11-2017 03:17PM

Tbh I think PT is a mickey mouse job and every gobsh*te out there wants to be one nowadays. Report him to the gym, totally unacceptable, if he's finished you're probably doing him a favour anyway getting out of that racket.

The Royal Scam · 12-11-2017 03:22PM

http://www.repsireland.ie
Maybe check this site out for advice. Really ****ty thing that he did. Your progress however is the exact opposite to it. Really well done considering you were doing it in secret without the supports of family and friends. Keep pushing on and use him as a mental punchbag.

Rekop dog · 12-11-2017 03:27PM

Why has this thread started to take a dim view on personal trainers?

What happened to OP was appallingly unprofessional but it was one individual. The majority of PT's I've come across in gyms have been highly positive hard working people. You'll get bad eggs in any profession.

Humiliated by bully at the Gym

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