How to commit the perfect murder.

Nomis21 · 10-10-2017 05:19PM #1

After watching 150 episodes of 'Forensic Detectives' on Netflix, I am convinced that I now know how to commit a murder without being caught. (Although I have no plans right now to commit murder.)

I am also wondering why anyone would choose a career in 'Blood Splatter Analysis'?

Fighting Tao · 10-10-2017 05:21PM

Congrats?

Mr.Crinklewood · 10-10-2017 05:23PM

Gerry?

Nomis21 · 10-10-2017 05:24PM

Fighting Tao wrote: »

Congrats?

You don't have the curiosity to ask me how it's done?

Nomis21 · 10-10-2017 05:25PM

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

Gerry?

Tom and Gerry is only attempted murder.

danmanw8 · 10-10-2017 05:28PM

Nomis21 wrote: »

I am also wondering why anyone would choose a career in 'Blood Splatter Analysis'?

Pretty interesting if you didn't mind gore! If you love shows like Sherlock Holmes, it could be great.

Rumpy Pumpy · 10-10-2017 05:28PM

Craft an ice pick or screwdriver style instrument out of ice. Use that to stab your victim in the temple or ear. The murder weapon can then be melted down.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 10-10-2017 05:28PM

Proper disposal of the body seems like the most obvious thing.

Surely it can't be that difficult to make sure a body is never found.

10-10-2017 05:30PM

Crush their head in with a frozen leg of lamb, then cook it and serve it up to the crime scene investigators and watch them eat the murder weapon.

Roald Dahl thunk it up first.

tomwaterford · 10-10-2017 05:30PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Proper disposal of the body seems like the most obvious thing.

Surely it can't be that difficult to make sure a body is never found.

Lime??

Its spread on when reseeding to quicken decomposition of old grasses etc....I assume would work for bodies??

A Little Pony · 10-10-2017 05:32PM

Well you have a member in the Irish Dail who has got away with it for decades.

HeidiHeidi · 10-10-2017 05:32PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Crush their head in with a frozen leg of lamb, then cook it and serve it up to the crime scene investigators and watch them eat the murder weapon.

Roald Dahl thunk it up first.

Got beaten to it!

10-10-2017 05:33PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Proper disposal of the body seems like the most obvious thing.

Surely it can't be that difficult to make sure a body is never found.

I can absolutely guarantee failsafe cadaver disposal in the mountains of West Cork and South Kerry. I just need seed capital...how much is a quad bike these days?

10-10-2017 05:34PM

tomwaterford wrote: »

Lime??

Its spread on when reseeding to quicken decomposition of old grasses etc....I assume would work for bodies??

Isn't it quicklime? Think lime itself has actually preserved corpses in some cases.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 10-10-2017 05:35PM

tomwaterford wrote: »

Lime??

Its spread on when reseeding to quicken decomposition of old grasses etc....I assume would work for bodies??

Yea that's been used in organised crime for decades.

Especially popular with the mob in America.

tomwaterford · 10-10-2017 05:36PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Isn't it quicklime? Think lime itself has actually preserved corpses in some cases.

I'm not sure....but I know you can buy 50KG bags of concentrate lime to spread out of a spinner that's like 8 times stronger than ordinary ground lime,you buy from a quarry

-my knowledge of this solely relates to farming practices

Estrellita · 10-10-2017 05:37PM

Nomis21 wrote: »

I am also wondering why anyone would choose a career in 'Blood Splatter Analysis'?

Id imagine it's interesting because you've to work out trajectory and the type of weapon used. You've to help create the scene to allow detectives to work out how, when, and why a murder was committed and who was the most likely suspect.

Ive probably watched enough of these myself to commit the perfect murder.

PeterParker957 · 10-10-2017 05:38PM

Pull out a pubic hair.

Inject air into hole made.

Embolism and injection site masked.

Shemale · 10-10-2017 05:39PM

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jyLocJGTNlo go to 1m 20

Raging_Ninja · 10-10-2017 06:02PM

PeterParker957 wrote: »

Pull out a pubic hair.

Inject air into hole made.

Embolism and injection site masked.

How do you get the target to sit still long enough to do that without them fighting back?

PeterParker957 · 10-10-2017 06:03PM

Raging_Ninja wrote: »

PeterParker957 wrote: »

Pull out a pubic hair.

Inject air into hole made.

Embolism and injection site masked.

How do you get the target to sit still long enough to do that without them fighting back?

Drunk. I haven't planned it btw!!!!

Captain Obvious · 10-10-2017 06:07PM

I'd imagine the first rule of committing the perfect murder is not to post about it on a popular forum.

PeterParker957 · 10-10-2017 06:09PM

Captain Obvious wrote: »

I'd imagine the first rule of committing the perfect murder is not to post about it on a popular forum.

Drat. Foiled again. I'd have got away with it if it wasn't for that meddling Captain Obvious!!!!

MOH · 10-10-2017 06:12PM

Clone the victim before you murder them

Johngoose · 10-10-2017 06:14PM

I wouldn't no anything about getting away with a murder

Solomon Pleasant · 10-10-2017 06:15PM

Make it look like an accident.

If done properly, you shouldn't have to be there when it happens.

The_Valeyard · 10-10-2017 06:17PM

Travel back in time to when you are out of the country on holidays. Then kill them. Or travel back to the night of conception and stop them...

Tokyo · 10-10-2017 06:25PM

Start a thread on boards and give your victim really bad "how to get away with murder" advice so they are caught and get the death penalty.

Badly Drunk Boy · 10-10-2017 06:31PM

tomwaterford wrote: »

Lime??

Its spread on when reseeding to quicken decomposition of old grasses etc....I assume would work for bodies??

And a bit of lemon zest...

punisher5112 · 10-10-2017 06:31PM

I'll be around shortly to give some well deserved justice for making such threads....

Punisher on way.

Nomis21 · 10-10-2017 06:36PM

:eek:

punisher5112 wrote: »

I'll be around shortly to give some well deserved justice for making such threads....

Punisher on way.

How to commit the perfect murder.

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