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Can't really get excited about this wedding and hen part

1246

Comments

  • #92
    Murrisk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 889 ✭✭✭Murrisk


    meeeeh wrote: »
    It's not couple's problem if people are such delicate flowers that they are not able to say no.

    I'm sure there are people that you would be devastated if they said no. Close friends and family members and the like. So what if someone very close to you is struggling to afford it? Is it genuinely OK with you if they decline?


  • #93
    Nonoperational
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,401 ✭✭✭Nonoperational


    You could also look at it completely differently.

    The bride, who is obviously a friend of yours, asked you to her hen and wedding. Instead of ending up with a pile of saucepans they suggested a donation instead of a gift. I wouldn't personally agree with that, but as for asking you to the hen and the wedding, I mean don't go if you don't want to go. The amount of self centred rants on here would really make you think.

    Personally I enjoy going to my friends' stags and weddings.


  • #94
    retro:electro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    Nonoperational wrote: »
    You could also look at it completely differently.

    The bride, who is obviously a friend of yours, asked you to her hen and wedding. Instead of ending up with a pile of saucepans they suggested a donation instead of a gift. I wouldn't personally agree with that, but as for asking you to the hen and the wedding, I mean don't go if you don't want to go. The amount of self centred rants on here would really make you think.

    Personally I enjoy going to my friends' stags and weddings.

    Asking to fund a honeymoon when you're already paying for flights and a ridiculous hen party is not on. It's just daft! If they were my friends I'd tell them to get fecked. That's about €1000 minimum. That's a months/two months mortgage payment for some people.


  • #95
    lazybones32
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,647 ✭✭✭lazybones32


    Get your RSVP in quickly and have your reason for declining ready. Stick to your guns OP and firmly resolve that you won't do what you really don't want to.

    Before I'd spend that much time and money on something that sounds so boring. A Ryanair voucher would be my contribution to one who made such excessive and inconsiderate plans.


  • #96
    meeeeh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,612 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Murrisk wrote: »
    I'm sure there are people that you would be devastated if they said no. Close friends and family members and the like. So what if someone very close to you is struggling to afford it? Is it genuinely OK with you if they decline?

    Yes. Because I am from another country some would have to travel anyway. Closest family members will be able to afford the trip but if they can't make it for some other reason we are ok with that.


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  • #97
    Toots
    Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 17,009 Mod ✭✭✭✭Toots


    anna080 wrote: »
    That is absolutely ridiculous. You shouldn't feel bad for saying it's too expensive because it is just that. I'd be mortified to ask anyone to spend that much on my hen. Notions!
    For my hen I'm having a few drinks out in my back garden, a BBQ and a sing song and am filling the bath up with beer and ice lol.

    I had my hen in my Mum & Dad's house - had about 20 people over, Mum made some nice buffet food, Dad made cocktails, and everything was lovely and relaxed. None of the guests had to spend anything other than maybe €20 on a taxi. :)


  • #98
    retro:electro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    Toots wrote: »
    I had my hen in my Mum & Dad's house - had about 20 people over, Mum made some nice buffet food, Dad made cocktails, and everything was lovely and relaxed. None of the guests had to spend anything other than maybe €20 on a taxi. :)

    Honestly to me that sounds perfect and better craic than having a L plate stuck to me, sucking from a willy straw, blister plasters all over my feet, and having to pretend I'm having the best night ever due to politeness!


  • #99
    Electric Sheep
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭Electric Sheep


    anna080 wrote: »
    Honestly to me that sounds perfect and better craic than having a L plate stuck to me, sucking from a willy straw, blister plasters all over my feet, and having to pretend I'm having the best night ever due to politeness!

    It certainly does! In my day (100s of years ago) a hen party was a few drinks in a pub or someone's flat, singing some bawdy songs like He's Got No Faloorum and An Old Maid in the Garret. But always high spirits and a lot of fun - no competition or keeping up with the Jones'. So much less pressure on the bride and the hens.


  • #100
    _Whimsical_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,006 ✭✭✭_Whimsical_


    Weddings sadly have just become a crass shakedown in lots of cases. I don't think it'll ever end because everyone seems to hope they'll someday recoup their losses on other people's wedding. I was talking to someone lately who got engaged and he said they had decided to marry because they'd be mugs not to after years of shelling out for other peoples...I could tell from his face that he was not being lighthearted.

    I immediately felt an "uh oh please don't invite me".


  • #101
    Toots
    Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 17,009 Mod ✭✭✭✭Toots


    anna080 wrote: »
    Honestly to me that sounds perfect and better craic than having a L plate stuck to me, sucking from a willy straw, blister plasters all over my feet, and having to pretend I'm having the best night ever due to politeness!

    :pac: My sister spelled it out on the invitations that I didn't want any penis shaped paraphernalia or L plates or to have to wear a ridiculous outfit or anything like that. I don't have anything against them but my younger sisters were there, and so were my parents and my husband's mum - I didn't want to be going around with a load of dicks hanging out of me in front of them!


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  • #102
    endacl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,443 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    You don't have to go to the wedding. You've just to make up some kind of excuse.
    Excuse? 'No thanks' usually works for me. Is that what you had in mind?


  • #103
    joeguevara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,419 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    I've been to four stags....one in dingle, one in London, one in wroklov and one in Vegas....loved them all very different reasons. I think money shouldn't come into it and if I was a bit broke I wouldn't have gone....I saved up for the Vegas one and really had the time of my life. It didn't feel a waste.

    But in reality if you are already thinking about money and how it's going to be a waste then you don't want to go. It's not really about the money. Therefore, fcuk it....life's too short to be going places that you don't want to go. Use the money and do something else...something that you do want to do!


  • #104
    Atlantic Dawn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,596 ✭✭✭✭Atlantic Dawn
    GDY151


    Ireland needs drive thru wedding venues, none of your fancy stuff, in and out and your done.


  • #105
    JupiterKid
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,956 ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Weddings have got so OTT in the past 15 years and an increasing number of brides and grooms have an inflated sense of self-entitlement and lack of consideration for others.

    Expecting wedding guests, who have to travel abroad for the wedding itself, to pony up moolah towards an excessive honeymoon is simply extortion.


  • #106
    KKkitty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,537 ✭✭✭KKkitty


    It's their day but seriously it's ridiculous that they want others to fund it so blatantly. If they cared about their friends they wouldn't put this financial pressure on them. Whatever happened to the bride and groom getting married abroad if they wanted and having a get together when they got home for people who couldn't attend it. Weddings are sometimes a joke with the expense of everything that goes with them for guests. Whether you're working or not it's costly especially if travel is included and accommodation for the few days.


  • #107
    Steve The Barman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 225 ✭✭Steve The Barman


    blast them with pish


  • #108
    Toots
    Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 17,009 Mod ✭✭✭✭Toots


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    Weddings have got so OTT in the past 15 years and an increasing number of brides and grooms have an inflated sense of self-entitlement and lack of consideration for others.

    Expecting wedding guests, who have to travel abroad for the wedding itself, to pony up moolah towards an excessive honeymoon is simply extortion.

    It's Eddie Hobbs that's to blame for that, the poisonous little geebag. He'd be advising couples to invite 500 people to the wedding because when they all gav a minimum of €200 per couple, you'd cover the cost of the day and have about 30k "profit" at the end of it.


  • #109
    elefant
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,697 ✭✭✭elefant


    Electric Sheep wrote: »
    If I was having a wedding abroad, I would invite immediate family only. Expecting others to travel for my wedding would strike me as very self centered and self important.

    That, to me, would be the biggest advantage to having a wedding away from Ireland. It avoids the awkwardness of not inviting all the family members you don't particularly want to invite. Only the people you're really close to would make the effort to attend anyway.

    Having a wedding abroad and then fleecing the guests for a honeymoon fund is completely taking the piss.


  • #110
    Caliden
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,981 ✭✭✭Caliden


    It's an invite, not a summons.


  • #111
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    Rekop dog wrote: »
    I'd say there'd be more hurt feeling when they find out you've moaned about it on Ireland's biggest forum. Very specific details, no way this doesn't get back to them.

    I'm not stupid. I've changed a couple of the details slightly.


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  • #112
    Are Am Eye
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭Are Am Eye


    Terry Chubby Bellows wrote: »
    I'm not stupid. I've changed a couple of the details slightly.

    You shouldnt have said that. Itll be factored in


  • #113
    pconn062
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,373 ✭✭✭pconn062


    jamesbondings wrote: »
    What is wrong with us Irish and our inability to say no. Why don't you not attend the hen and go to the wedding. Let the bride know that at the moment you are having issues budgeting for an extravegant hen due and a foreign wedding. She will understand.

    I really feel like you are the one making this such a big issue. If you can't be arsed or can't afford to go to either the hen or indeed the wedding then don't. If the bride (who isn't a child) doesn't understand then she will be the one being unreasonable, not you.

    Exactly, I never understand why people get so worked up when they get invites like this. These people are supposedly your friends so this can't be their first crazy act, surely you can see something like this coming? Just another adult decision to be made, don't want to go? Just say no. It's not difficult.

    I got invited to a wedding at the start of July in Spain, I priced the travel arrangements, realised it was going to cost a fortune to go, so just turned down the invite. Job done.


  • #114
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    Toots wrote: »
    It's Eddie Hobbs that's to blame for that, the poisonous little geebag. He'd be advising couples to invite 500 people to the wedding because when they all gav a minimum of €200 per couple, you'd cover the cost of the day and have about 30k "profit" at the end of it.

    God, I remember that programme and his crass advice to the couple getting married. It's a horrible attitude. If you can't afford 200 guests and chocolate fountains and ice cream carts then don't have it. Expecting the guests to cover the cost is just so cynical. A wedding is meant to be about two people pledging to spend the rest of their lives together; not about feeling like Hollywood stars for the day, with your guests as an admiring audience.


  • #115
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    Are Am Eye wrote: »
    You shouldnt have said that. Itll be factored in


    I'd imagine many couples could read my opening post and wonder if it's their wedding. This wedding and hen night I'm talking about are very typical in Ireland nowadays. I posted because I'm so tired of these tedious affairs between middle aged couples behaving like dewy eyed 23 year olds setting up home together for the first time, and expecting us all to get all 'oooh oooh you're getting married' and be prepared to spend a fortune and give up days of annual leave for the whole non event.

    And turning down wedding invitations isn't always that simple.


  • #116
    9or10
    Closed Accounts Posts: 663 ✭✭✭9or10


    Terry Chubby Bellows wrote: »
    God, I remember that programme and his crass advice to the couple getting married. It's a horrible attitude. If you can't afford 200 guests and chocolate fountains and ice cream carts then don't have it. Expecting the guests to cover the cost is just so cynical. A wedding is meant to be about two people pledging to spend the rest of their lives together not about feeling like Hollywood stars for the day, with your guests as an admiring audience.

    Well we all know that ain't genna happen :D


  • #117
    lisasimpson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,941 ✭✭✭lisasimpson


    Are Am Eye wrote: »
    You shouldnt have said that. Itll be factored in

    It might be no harm if the couple getting married copped his thread is about them..they are taking the piss and would do with a reality check. No doubt OP other people invited to this wedding feel the same


  • #118
    Electric Sheep
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭Electric Sheep


    _Whimsical_ wrote: »
    Weddings sadly have just become a crass shakedown in lots of cases. I don't think it'll ever end because everyone seems to hope they'll someday recoup their losses on other people's wedding.

    I do think it will end. Fashions go in cycles, for weddings as in everything else. My guess is that in about 10 years the whole overblown wedding thing will be seen as vulgar and old fashioned, and small discreet tasteful weddings will be the thing - for a while.


  • #119
    Harry Angstrom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,351 ✭✭✭✭Harry Angstrom


    Terry Chubby Bellows wrote: »
    I'm not stupid. I've changed a couple of the details slightly.

    Instead of a honeymoon in the Cayman Islands, is it a week in a caravan in Courtown?


  • #120
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    Harry Angstrom wrote: »
    Instead of a honeymoon in the Cayman Islands, is it a week in a caravan in Courtown?

    Yep. And the Spa Hotel is actually a B&B in Skerries.

    No, I've changed a couple of details but not the cost or tone or style of anything.


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  • #121
    c68zapdsm5i1ru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭c68zapdsm5i1ru


    Electric Sheep wrote: »
    I do think it will end. Fashions go in cycles, for weddings as in everything else. My guess is that in about 10 years the whole overblown wedding thing will be seen as vulgar and old fashioned, and small discreet tasteful weddings will be the thing - for a while.

    I hope so.

    I would actually like to see a return to weddings 1950s/60s style. When my parents got married it was a morning ceremony, a sherry reception followed by a wedding lunch, and the whole thing was done and dusted by about 4pm.

    I can remember weddings where the bride and groom changed into 'going away' clothes and drove off with the guests all waving them good bye. There was no sitting in the residents' bar until 4am etc. with the bride drunk and bedraggled and the groom passed out on a sofa. No romance anymore :)


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