Can't really get excited about this wedding and hen part

What is wrong with us Irish and our inability to say no. Why don't you not attend the hen and go to the wedding. Let the bride know that at the moment you are having issues budgeting for an extravegant hen due and a foreign wedding. She will understand.

I really feel like you are the one making this such a big issue. If you can't be arsed or can't afford to go to either the hen or indeed the wedding then don't. If the bride (who isn't a child) doesn't understand then she will be the one being unreasonable, not you.

Ah here. They sound extremely self-entitled and selfish. If they are having a foreign wedding, the cost and time guests are taking to travel should be enough and this idea of a hen costing €250 is ridiculous.
If they are prepared to put all this expense on people they should also understand that not everyone is willing or able to attend hen and wedding.
They also are inconsiderate of people who have more than one wedding a year. I know myself I have four weddings between now and Christmas and if one of these was costing the same amount as yours OP, I would be respectfully declining the invitations.
It's also very cheeky of couples who have a foreign wedding to suggest that it can be people's summer holiday. I will choose where I holiday during my well earned time off thank you.

Sometimes I honestly think that couples believe they are the only people to ever get married and that for their big day, people should jump through hoops for them. OP, if they fall out with you over not being willing to pay the bones of €1000 for their big day, are they really great friends??
Friends should be judged on how they treat you and how you consider each other etc, not a willingness to pay ridiculous money to attend their hen and wedding.

Have a relation getting married abroad this year. Only having immediate families as he wishes it to be intimate.
Coming home then to a hotel booked for a Saturday evening with a finger food buffet for 250 people who "could not be there".
What the greedy sh1t means is he wants to harvest the presents without having the people at the wedding. Some people are horrible gits.

Murrisk wrote: »

Think it might be a pride thing too, people don't want to let on that they can't afford something, maybe?

I do think that is often the case. The Celtic Tiger might be dead, but the need to pretend that money is no object remains for a lot of people, both wedding hosts and wedding guests.

I stopped going to weddings a few years ago.
It wasn't that I couldn't afford it, it was that I just got p1ssed off with the ever increasing amount of bullsh1t that went on. Most people that I mentioned it to agreed with me. The only exception I would make would be if it was someone in my immediate family.
Anytime I get an invite now, I just say 'sorry, I don't do weddings any more'. Now I'm just regarded as an oddball who doesn't go to weddings and that suits me fine.
I don't think I'm missing anything and I haven't lost any friends.

I have a friend who for her hen party is looking for it to be a wk abroad and the wedding also abroad. When i said id only be going to one of the events she snapped well my really friends would go to both.
funny thing is same girl hasnt two cent to rub together and then wonders why she cant afford a place of her own

Just reread this post.. they are expecting people to pay to go abroad to their wedding AND "donate" towards their honeymoon?????? Thats just plain greedy I'm sorry! If i even thought about having my wedding abroad, making people go to a country they hadnt intended on going to, spending money to get there, bring kids or not?, Using annual leave to take time off work, paying hotels and all... I wouldnt expect ANYTHING from them except a card wishing us well! Some people are just plain blind when it comes to weddings... If they have their feelings hurt by people saying no then they should have taken into consideration the amount of pressure they are putting on them!!

Op, regretfully decline all aspects of the wedding events if you don't want to go regardless of the reason.

I'm getting married on a Friday in the middle of November this year with about 6 months notice that we're even getting married. We're trying to keep it small, closest friends and family only to the full day. We will not be insulted in any shape or form if someone can't go. We understand a Friday in November isn't exactly the best time of the year for people.

We are also putting in a little note with the invitations that our guests presence at our wedding is the best gift they can give us. Of course some people will want to give us gifts, so we have also added a line that if someone does want to give a gift that they should make a donation on our behalf to a charity of their choice.
The last thing I want is for our invitation to arrive through the door and for someone to only see it as another expense. It nearly drove me mad the amount of people who said to have a bigger wedding 'for economic' reasons. Like wtf? People really need to cop on with the expectations that they place on their family and friends.

Terry Chubby Bellows wrote: »

Exactly. I already have plans for my annual leave this Summer and really don't want to have to waste several days and a load of money travelling somewhere I don't want to go with people I don't necessarily want to spend several days with.

So don't... it's only an invitation not a summons... people get so annoyed about couples getting married abroad... say no... if you don't want to go it's only an invite... if they didn't invite you you'd probably have a snot on as well

If I was having a wedding abroad, I would invite immediate family only. Expecting others to travel for my wedding would strike me as very self centered and self important.