'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

Walter H Price · 17-05-2017 11:51AM

tomwaterford wrote: »

I have yet to meet anyone my own age who takes religion seriously enough to the extent id not want anything to do with them

Thankfully I've met very few but their out there , my Mates girlfriend wouldn't allow him go on my Stag because it was over the Easter bank holiday weekend and she didn't want him drinking and partying, skipping mass etc... on Good Friday , Easter Sunday , she's only 25 hes 26 and was going to be a grooms man up until that point. he's not religious but he puts up with her crazy for admittedly purely shallow reasons ( she's conventionally quite attractive). Like she already told my OH she wouldn't be coming to our wedding because we were having a "heathen" Ceremony (humanist).

I know loads of lads that ended up with girls on the purity ring save myself for marriage kick that was all the craze a few years ago, never lasted long a few weeks or months usually till they cheated hahahahaha

Malari · 17-05-2017 11:55AM

Censorsh!t wrote: »

Everything went downhill with my last boyfriend when he told me one of his life ambitions was to "get built". He also said that he would love to wear jewellery when he could afford some good gold rings and ****. Did not last long after that!

If I guy kept saying normal stuff was "random" I would lose it.

Guys who talk to women in a different voice to when they talk to men.

Oh I know a guy like that! My husband kept saying he speaks differently when women show up and I only witnessed it recently when I heard him and came in to see who it was as I didn't recognise the voice! Instantly became more...nasal and "educated" sounding.

But that's waaay down the list of reasons I would never date someone like him anyway :pac: I mean, you should SEE his shoelaces. Tight doesn't begin to describe...
:P

Cloudio9 · 17-05-2017 12:03PM

I think the boot cut jeans thing might be the very wide jeans. Some jeans called boot cut have a very subtle widening that you wouldn't really identify as boot cut.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 12:06PM

Malari wrote: »

Oh I know a guy like that! My husband kept saying he speaks differently when women show up and I only witnessed it recently when I heard him and came in to see who it was as I didn't recognise the voice! Instantly became more...nasal and "educated" sounding.

But that's waaay down the list of reasons I would never date someone like him anyway :pac: I mean, you should SEE his shoelaces. Tight doesn't begin to describe...
:P

My boss has a different voice he uses on people he considers "not management material" (his words) - this includes most of the women who work here, all the men under 30, fat people, and anyone who isn't involved in sport in some way. The rest of us get his "management voice". The non-management voice is a couple of octaves higher, and comes with added sarcasm. I didn't notice it until a colleague pointed it out, and after that we were able to track those who will rise within the company and those who won't. Now I can't unhear it.

Sgt Hartman · 17-05-2017 12:15PM

Smokers - Smoking just repulses me, I could never imagine kissing a smoker.

People who use management course phrases like "Going forward" and "Touching base" in regular everyday conversation. Any time I hear this it tells me all I need to know about that person.

People who treat retail/customer service staff badly. It also tells me everything I need to know about the person, that behind all their charm they're quite horrible people.

Obesity - I don't mind a few extra pounds but I'm turned off totally by someone who is quite obese.

People with D4/West Brit and fake accents, I love a good genuine Irish accent.

ZeroThreat · 17-05-2017 12:18PM

Gravelly wrote: »

My boss has a different voice he uses on people he considers "not management material" (his words) - this includes most of the women who work here, all the men under 30, fat people, and anyone who isn't involved in sport in some way. The rest of us get his "management voice". The non-management voice is a couple of octaves higher, and comes with added sarcasm. I didn't notice it until a colleague pointed it out, and after that we were able to track those who will rise within the company and those who won't. Now I can't unhear it.

What type of business is this?
Does he only promote those he knows from the golf club?

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 12:20PM

ZeroThreat wrote: »

What type of business is this?
Does he only promote those he knows from the golf club?

Would rather not say the type of business. He doesn't play golf (neither do I).

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 12:21PM

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

Smokers - Smoking just repulses me, I could never imagine kissing a smoker.

People who use management course phrases like "Going forward" and "Touching base" in regular everyday conversation. Any time I hear this it tells me all I need to know about that person.

People who treat retail/customer service staff badly. It also tells me everything I need to know about the person, that behind all their charm they're quite horrible people.

Obesity - I don't mind a few extra pounds but I'm turned off totally by someone who is quite obese.

People with D4/West Brit and fake accents, I love a good genuine Irish accent.

These are probably the least off the wall ones I've seen so far - all pretty understandable.

everlast75 · 17-05-2017 12:26PM

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

ZeroThreat · 17-05-2017 12:35PM

Permabear strikes me as a bit of a spoofer tbh.

He was on some other thread a while back talking about having a massive gaff & driving about in expensive sportscars with supermodels

jeanjolie · 17-05-2017 12:41PM

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

Smokers - Smoking just repulses me, I could never imagine kissing a smoker.

People who use management course phrases like "Going forward" and "Touching base" in regular everyday conversation. Any time I hear this it tells me all I need to know about that person.

People who treat retail/customer service staff badly. It also tells me everything I need to know about the person, that behind all their charm they're quite horrible people.

Obesity - I don't mind a few extra pounds but I'm turned off totally by someone who is quite obese.

People with D4/West Brit and fake accents, I love a good genuine Irish accent.

Never understood this; why do people hate this accent. Do you hate everyone with this 'posh' accent or just the ones that put it on?

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 12:41PM

ZeroThreat wrote: »

Permabear strikes me as a bit of a spoofer tbh.

He was on some other thread a while back talking about having a massive gaff & driving about in expensive sportscars with supermodels

Didn't you know? EVERYONE on the internet has a massive gaff and drives around in expensive sportscars with supermodels. We're all tall, handsome, and intelligent too. And we've been to loads of different countries. Why I'm driving my flying Ferrari to my private island in the Caribbean with 7 of my current supermodel girlfriends beside me right now as I type.

seachto7 · 17-05-2017 12:45PM

ZeroThreat wrote: »

What type of business is this?
Does he only promote those he knows from the golf club?

Nah, they mentioned he's not keen on fat people, so can't be golf. Or rugby.

retro:electro · 17-05-2017 12:45PM

A smoker
Dirty finger nails
Crooked teeth
Likes annoying redneck music
Into GAA
Can't spell properly

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 12:49PM

seachto7 wrote: »

Nah, they mentioned he's not keen on fat people, so can't be golf. Or rugby.

Would rule out Junior B hurling and football too. And sumo wrestling.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 12:50PM

anna080 wrote: »

A smoker
Dirty finger nails
Crooked teeth
Likes annoying redneck music

How about agreeable redneck music?

WoolyJumper · 17-05-2017 12:54PM

Over the years I've learned that deal breakers are only deal breakers when there is no chemistry/ you're not really feeling it in the first place. Dated a guy recently who ticked every box but there was just no chemistry there.

Where as my biggest relationship was with a guy who was much older, religious, complicated and was never really going to work. Yet we were completely in love (Probably still are)

Some might say I only go for guys that are unavailable because i'm subconsciously afraid of commitment but that's just a load of American nonsense

:D

HowItsMade · 17-05-2017 12:55PM

Poor spelling or use of grammar when texting.
Lack of ambition.

animaal · 17-05-2017 12:58PM

Most people don't want a potential partner who wears white socks. I can understand that if we're talking about an office situation, or socialising. But would you apply that as a rule without exception?

At this risk of an intervention by the kind people of After Hours, I admit to wearing white socks in two situations;

1. In the gym. I have short white running socks (breathable etc) so I don't wreck my feet when I'm running and sweating.

2. Hot days (the few we get!). If I'm wearing shorts and runners, I think black/brown/green/whatever office-type socks would look ridiculous. So I wear the same type of gym socks.

Is there a less socially stigmatising type of sock a person could wear with runners?

Parchment · 17-05-2017 01:01PM

animaal wrote: »

Most people don't want a potential partner who wears white socks. I can understand that if we're talking about an office situation, or socialising. But would you apply that as a rule without exception?

At this risk of an intervention by the kind people of After Hours, I admit to wearing white socks in two situations;

1. In the gym. I have short white running socks (breathable etc) so I don't wreck my feet when I'm running and sweating.

2. Hot days (the few we get!). If I'm wearing shorts and runners, I think black/brown/green/whatever office-type socks would look ridiculous. So I wear the same type of gym socks.

Is there a less socially stigmatising type of sock a person could wear with runners?

White socks in a gym fine.

Second example i would be less enthusiastic about. thats just me.

Dr Crayfish · 17-05-2017 01:03PM

animaal wrote: »

Is there a less socially stigmatising type of sock a person could wear with runners?

The ankle ones you don't really see, that's what I do when in warm countries etc. if I'm not wearing flip flops.

notsoyoungwan · 17-05-2017 01:03PM

I'm female and my shallow deal-breakers in men are:

Smoking
Tattoos
Piercings
Poor spelling and/or grammar
Strong religious beliefs
Lack of ambition
Long nails
Having (or wanting to have) children (ok, that one isn't particularly shallow!)

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 01:05PM

animaal wrote: »

Most people don't want a potential partner who wears white socks. I can understand that if we're talking about an office situation, or socialising. But would you apply that as a rule without exception?

At this risk of an intervention by the kind people of After Hours, I admit to wearing white socks in two situations;

1. In the gym. I have short white running socks (breathable etc) so I don't wreck my feet when I'm running and sweating.

2. Hot days (the few we get!). If I'm wearing shorts and runners, I think black/brown/green/whatever office-type socks would look ridiculous. So I wear the same type of gym socks.

Is there a less socially stigmatising type of sock a person could wear with runners?

I wonder if Kildare inter-county players have trouble with the ladies, what with their unacceptable white socks and all? I bet some of them tie their laces tight too, to stop their boots flying off at inopportune moments.

Parchment · 17-05-2017 01:07PM

Gravelly wrote: »

I wonder if Kildare inter-county players have trouble with the ladies, what with their unacceptable white socks and all? I bet some of them tie their laces tight too, to stop their boots flying off at inopportune moments.

DO you want to ask me out? you seem really interested in my posts.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 01:07PM

notsoyoungwan wrote: »

I'm female and my shallow deal-breakers in men are:

Smoking
Tattoos
Piercings
Poor spelling and/or grammar
Strong religious beliefs
Lack of ambition
Long nails
Having (or wanting to have) children (ok, that one isn't particularly shallow!)

The last one is going to narrow the field down quite a bit I'd guess. I'd say the number of adult men who don't ever want to have kids would be very small.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 01:08PM

Parchment wrote: »

DO you want to ask me out? you seem really interested in my posts.

Nah, you're grand. Thanks anyway.

pilly · 17-05-2017 01:12PM

animaal wrote:

2. Hot days (the few we get!). If I'm wearing shorts and runners, I think black/brown/green/whatever office-type socks would look ridiculous. So I wear the same type of gym socks.

Socks with shorts!!! Huge problem.

notsoyoungwan · 17-05-2017 01:12PM

Gravelly wrote: »

The last one is going to narrow the field down quite a bit I'd guess. I'd say the number of adult men who don't ever want to have kids would be very small.

Oh I know. Luckily for me, I don't want marriage/a long-term committed relationship either, so short-term flings suit me fine, and then the guys can move on and have kids with someone else if they want.

ILikeBoats · 17-05-2017 01:15PM

What are you supposed to wear with shorts?!
Bit cold here to be going flip flopping

Widdershins · 17-05-2017 01:20PM

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

The ankle ones you don't really see, that's what I do when in warm countries etc. if I'm not wearing flip flops.

*Sharp intake of breath*

'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

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