'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

jeanjolie · 17-05-2017 11:16AM

bruschi wrote: »

dont agreee with this at all. Personally, I am most of the time dressed smartly enough. Although not a big fan of suits. But I also am happy enough wearing casual clothes. It says little or nothing about me though, and certainly not about my work or things I do in life.

Do you think the corporate banker who dresses impeccably with his 3 piece suit and goes in and is the most scurrilous person going is able to be judged on his clothes? or the corrupt politician who never has a hair out of place? Reading too much into how a person dresses is not a good indicator of who they are.

Umm..that's not true.

Okay I understand; judging by clothing simply isn't effective however that combined with grooming (hair) and accent does tell you quite a lot about someone.

Do you think a girl with a soft accent who dresses in boot-cut jeans, gore-tex shoes, plain t-shirts, has a short feminine hairstyle that she takes care of each day is going to most likely live in a middle class/upper class area of Dublin or Tallaght?

Never mind that, do you think that she would have knacker parents? Probably not, so don't disregard clothing.

livedadream · 17-05-2017 11:19AM

OK, I'll see if I line up with Parchment's delightfully specific list pacman.gif?v=%202f4a71d8eeecdfef91aae59440757d4a

okay me too!

-Any guy under 6ft No, im 5ft so as long as he's taller than me not bothered
-Bad shoes/cheap shoes/very tightly tied laces- not sure what constituted bad shoes but nope again dont care if he can dress himself and look okay thats his call- tightly tied laces is weird too me, who looks that closely!
-Deodorant like Lynx etc. *gag* as long as he's clean again dont care- if he smells like bread though im all in (last BF was a baker yyummm)
-Dirty house/bathroom - im with her on this one, has to be clean but not anal clean.
-Creepy underpants (like y-front type) never seen them on an adult man so not bothered.
-White socks only if he's in dark clothes- white socks while in the gym or what not no care but in a suit yes bothersome but not a dealbreaker
-Ugly jeans - like bootcut etc. - not a dealbreaker but not a turn on
-religion of any kind.... g'luck. shameful, not a dealbreaker for me at all. the same way some guys are into football i wouldnt not date a muslim coz he's a muslim or a jew coz he's a jew.

pilly · 17-05-2017 11:21AM

jeanjolie wrote: »

Umm..that's not true.

Okay I understand; judging by clothing simply isn't effective however that combined with grooming (hair) and accent does tell you quite a lot about someone.

Do you think a girl with a soft accent who dresses in boot-cut jeans, gore-tex shoes, plain t-shirts, has a short feminine hairstyle that she takes care of each day is going to most likely live in a middle class/upper class area of Dublin or Tallaght?

Never mind that, do you think that she would have knacker parents? Probably not, so don't disregard clothing.

If you judge people by their parents or where they live then you've far bigger problems.

jeanjolie · 17-05-2017 11:21AM

pilly wrote: »

If you judge people by their parents or where they live then you've far bigger problems.

What do you mean?

17-05-2017 11:22AM

jeanjolie wrote: »

Umm..that's not true.

Okay I understand; judging by clothing simply isn't effective however that combined with grooming (hair) and accent does tell you quite a lot about someone.

Do you think a girl with a soft accent who dresses in boot-cut jeans, gore-tex shoes, plain t-shirts, has a short feminine hairstyle that she takes care of each day is going to most likely live in a middle class/upper class area of Dublin or Tallaght?

Never mind that, do you think that she would have knacker parents? Probably not, so don't disregard clothing.

What about a long feminine hairstyle? Where do these women fit in?

pilly · 17-05-2017 11:23AM

jeanjolie wrote: »

What do you mean?

You seem to think that well dressed people must be from an upper/middle class background and not have "knacker" parents (your words, not ones I use to describe anyone).

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 11:23AM

Deleted User wrote: »

What about a long feminine hairstyle? Where do these women fit in?

They're all knackers apparently.

osarusan · 17-05-2017 11:25AM

A dealbreaker for me would be if somebody spent an inordinate amount of time saying that 'you can tell a lot about people by the way they.....' followed by microanalysis of hair, jewelry, shoelaces, etc.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 11:27AM

osarusan wrote: »

A dealbreaker for me would be if somebody spent an inordinate amount of time saying that 'you can tell a lot about people by the way they.....' followed by microanalysis of hair, jewelry, shoelaces, etc.

I have to say, if I was still on the dating scene I'd run away screaming from a woman who measured by worth by the tension of my shoelaces.

tomwaterford · 17-05-2017 11:27AM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

What about a long feminine hairstyle? Where do these women fit in?

It is somewhat bizzare have never known anyone to prefer short hair on a girl?

Not a dealbreaker like....but do think long hair is nicer.....and who/where someone is from is 100% not even registering on any scale of importance

Widdershins · 17-05-2017 11:28AM

The men in bootcut jeans one is confusing me. Standard jeans have always been boot cut, haven't they? Skinny jeans are a more recent trend but the original workwear jeans were bootcut and apart from some variations like flares and skinny jeans, bootcut are normal jeans. What do people think are the correct type of jeans if not that?

ILikeBoats · 17-05-2017 11:29AM

Straight jeans are normal jeans?

Parchment · 17-05-2017 11:29AM

livedadream wrote: »

OK, I'll see if I line up with Parchment's delightfully specific list

okay me too!

-Any guy under 6ft No, im 5ft so as long as he's taller than me not bothered
-Bad shoes/cheap shoes/very tightly tied laces- not sure what constituted bad shoes but nope again dont care if he can dress himself and look okay thats his call- tightly tied laces is weird too me, who looks that closely!
-Deodorant like Lynx etc. *gag* as long as he's clean again dont care- if he smells like bread though im all in (last BF was a baker yyummm)
-Dirty house/bathroom - im with her on this one, has to be clean but not anal clean.
-Creepy underpants (like y-front type) never seen them on an adult man so not bothered.
-White socks only if he's in dark clothes- white socks while in the gym or what not no care but in a suit yes bothersome but not a dealbreaker
-Ugly jeans - like bootcut etc. - not a dealbreaker but not a turn on
-religion of any kind.... g'luck. shameful, not a dealbreaker for me at all. the same way some guys are into football i wouldnt not date a muslim coz he's a muslim or a jew coz he's a jew.

Its shameful not to want to go out with a religious person?

Widdershins · 17-05-2017 11:30AM

ILikeBoats wrote: »

Straight jeans are normal jeans?

There's barely any difference though. Boot cut are just a tiny bit wider at the bottom for..people who wear boots

rob316 · 17-05-2017 11:30AM

I'm married but I know the things that would make me run a mile.

- wearing clothes that don't suit your frame. I don't mind someone been a bit overweight but don't bait yourself into something you shouldn't be in. Busty women can pull off sexy.

- height, I'm 6ft, 200 pounds, I feel id break a tiny woman. I wouldn't want someone taller but around the 5ft 8" mark is good.

- squeaky voice, I want a women not a 16 year old girl

- someone that just keeps talking and doesn't take a breath in between there sentences.

- someone with zero ambition, living at home at 30 in a crap job and has no desire now or in the future to change it.

- overly liberal and PC. Drives me insane, speak your mind not what society deems acceptable for you to say. I respect that. I don't want a racist or bigot but someone who has their own opinion and isn't afraid to say it.

- not able to handle there booze, there is nothing more unattractive than a bad drunk.

- ugg boots - manky things, its like going out wearing your slippers, stupidly expensive too. My wife used to wear them all the time but I bit my tongue.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 11:31AM

Widdershins wrote: »

The men in bootcut jeans one is confusing me. Standard jeans have always been boot cut, haven't they? Skinny jeans are a more recent trend but the original workwear jeans were bootcut and apart from some variations like flares and skinny jeans, bootcut are normal jeans. What do people think are the correct type of jeans if not that?

I wonder if her boyfriend has a list that he ticks off every morning before he goes out, covering the type of underwear, deodorant, and jeans he can wear, the tension of his shoelaces, and whether or not he has scrubbed the bathroom sufficiently after himself. It sounds like it would be a fun and fulfilling relationship.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 11:32AM

Widdershins wrote: »

There's barely any difference though. Boot cut are just a tiny bit wider at the bottom for..people who wear boots

Presumably they could also be used to hide the fact that one may have inadvertently overtightened their shoelaces, perhaps this is why they are verboten?

Parchment · 17-05-2017 11:33AM

Gravelly wrote: »

I wonder if her boyfriend has a list that he ticks off every morning before he goes out, covering the type of underwear, deodorant, and jeans he can wear, the tension of his shoelaces, and whether or not he has scrubbed the bathroom sufficiently after himself. It sounds like it would be a fun and fulfilling relationship.

Im actually very nice. I didnt have to change anything with my boyfriend - thats why he is my boyfriend.

kylith · 17-05-2017 11:34AM

Gravelly wrote: »

I have to say, if I was still on the dating scene I'd run away screaming from a woman who measured by worth by the tension of my shoelaces.

Maybe she's just worried about you going into debt because you keep having to buy new shoelaces after breaking them?

livedadream wrote: »

-religion of any kind.... g'luck. shameful, not a dealbreaker for me at all. the same way some guys are into football i wouldnt not date a muslim coz he's a muslim or a jew coz he's a jew.

In fairness, religion isn't like following a sport. Many of them have quite objectionable teachings.

osarusan · 17-05-2017 11:36AM

kylith wrote: »

religion isn't like following a sport. Many of them have quite objectionable teachings.

Thou shalt look after the kids every Friday/Saturday night for 8 months while I make pilgrimages to Derry, Cork, Sligo, and other temples of worship.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 11:37AM

Parchment wrote: »

Im actually very nice. I didnt have to change anything with my boyfriend - thats why he is my boyfriend.

I'm sure you're lovely. Seriously f**king scary, but lovely. Glad you didn't have to change anything about your boyfriend. Really glad for him. Like delighted. I'd hate if you had to change anything about him. It gives me the shivers in fact.

tomwaterford · 17-05-2017 11:41AM

kylith wrote: »

Maybe she's just worried about you going into debt because you keep having to buy new shoelaces after breaking them?

In fairness, religion isn't like following a sport. Many of them have quite objectionable teachings.

I have yet to meet anyone my own age who takes religion seriously enough to the extent id not want anything to do with them

Malari · 17-05-2017 11:43AM

Gravelly wrote: »

I'm sure you're lovely. Seriously f**king scary, but lovely. Glad you didn't have to change anything about your boyfriend. Really glad for him. Like delighted. I'd hate if you had to change anything about him. It gives me the shivers in fact.

It's shallow deal-breakers thread?! What's with the animosity?

The whole idea is you don't try to change people, you date people who don't have the attributes you (irrationally perhaps) find of a deal-breaking nature.

tomwaterford · 17-05-2017 11:44AM

Gravelly wrote: »

I'm sure you're lovely. Seriously f**king scary, but lovely. Glad you didn't have to change anything about your boyfriend. Really glad for him. Like delighted. I'd hate if you had to change anything about him. It gives me the shivers in fact.

Have a bit of chill.....im sure shes sound.....like who tightens the ****e.outta their laces day to day anyway??

Different obviously if your going doing sport/running,hiking etc?

Pac1Man · 17-05-2017 11:45AM

Fake boobs, ass, lips, eyelashes etc.

Instant balloon deflator.

jeanjolie · 17-05-2017 11:45AM

Gravelly wrote: »

They're all knackers apparently.

No. knackers tend to have pretty piss-poor grooming whether they have short or long hair both on males and females.

Gravelly · 17-05-2017 11:46AM

Malari wrote: »

It's shallow deal-breakers thread?! What's with the animosity?

The whole idea is you don't try to change people, you date people who don't have the attributes you (irrationally perhaps) find of a deal-breaking nature.

I'm not trying to show any animosity just pulling the piss a bit. The weirdness of that list, combined with the fact the the poster doesn't seem to see how weird it seems to most other posters is just kind of funny.

Malari · 17-05-2017 11:48AM

Gravelly wrote: »

I'm not trying to show any animosity just pulling the piss a bit. The weirdness of that list, combined with the fact the the poster doesn't seem to see how weird it seems to most other posters is just kind of funny.

The shoelaces are funny, admittedly, but the rest of the list seems quite normal, judging by the few other posters who answered!

Censorsh!t · 17-05-2017 11:50AM

Everything went downhill with my last boyfriend when he told me one of his life ambitions was to "get built". He also said that he would love to wear jewellery when he could afford some good gold rings and ****. Did not last long after that!

If I guy kept saying normal stuff was "random" I would lose it.

Guys who talk to women in a different voice to when they talk to men.

ILikeBoats · 17-05-2017 11:51AM

When we were 15, my mate broke up with his girlfriend because she bought tampons.

'Shallow' dealbreakers in a relationship?

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