Work related re my Wedding

wayne25 · 09-05-2017 11:05PM #1

Hello all.

I've worked with my employer 9 years & to marry on Friday.

Today was my last day before I marry and it upset me no end as people I thought would acknowledge my big day did not even as far as say a "Good Luck" people I've worked with for years.

It has really opened my eyes, my manager of 3 years saw me several times over the last 5 days & nothing.

My other half is in her job a year and they acknowledged the big day with nice presents & flowers. Says it all.

Am I being too ott about this,? Maybe I am. How long does it take to say "Good Luck"

Opinions welcomed, thank you.

tracey turnblad · 09-05-2017 11:11PM

I got married in 2012. The personnel manager in my job got married the month before me and had a huge fuss made of her. I'm not in to fuss so that didn't bother me but neither her or the manager came to me before I left and wished me the best of luck. I was more disappointed than upset, I was a valuable member of staff(have since left but not because of that) and thought that everyone should be treated equally, i especially thought the personnel manager would have said something l seen as she was just back from her own wedding.. I think it's just bad manners on their behalf

Victor · 09-05-2017 11:16PM

Are they invited to the wedding? Have they given you a present?

jimmycrackcorm · 09-05-2017 11:17PM

wayne25 wrote:

Am I being too ott about this,? I don't think I am as I've felt peed this evening thinking about my treatment today.

It's probably because you're male. The wedding is perceived to be a woman's day so they'll make a fuss. Same with women going on maternity, they get cards and a speech etc, nothing for a man who is going to be a dad.

Never wrestle with pigs · 09-05-2017 11:19PM

I thought it was the woman posting until I got near the end. Toughen up princess, work is work and personal life is just that.

wayne25 · 09-05-2017 11:24PM

Victor wrote: »

Are they invited to the wedding? Have they given you a present?

Some are not, some are. 1 team leader who's only back in the business a week acknowledged the day who's not invited. The rest in management who I've known for years didn't bother there backsides. Present? No not even a card!

People know at work you cannot invite all colleagues, so if you are insinuating they are peed and this is why they ain't bothered, not buying it.

I was not looking for a brass band or firework display! Just classless.

MadamRazz · 09-05-2017 11:25PM

I got married in 2011. Before I left for in my teammates wished me well and gave me a card. There was lots of squeals and hugs from the women. And I think being female, more of a deal was made for me. Whereas with my OH (male) I dont think his colleagues really acknowledged either it.

wayne25 · 09-05-2017 11:26PM

Never wrestle with pigs wrote: »

I thought it was the woman posting until I got near the end. Toughen up princess, work is work and personal life is just that.

It's not to do with toughing up, it's simple manners and acknowledgement.

Addle · 09-05-2017 11:29PM

You're not married yet.
They might arrange something in your absence.
Do you work directly with a mix of men and women?
Where I work, if your immediate team don't organise a card/gift, it won't happen. And the men never organise anything.

myshirt · 09-05-2017 11:31PM

Ah man, come on, are you having a laugh?

Really?

Toughen up a bit would be my advice, with the greatest of respect.

09-05-2017 11:33PM

No offence OP, but your wedding is not a big deal to anyone other than you & your other half & your families.
If your work colleagues are invited then Im sure they will give you a card / present. Other than that you shouldn't expect much.

Edit, people leaving work get recognition because it's work related

wayne25 · 09-05-2017 11:35PM

Addle wrote: »

You're not married yet.
They might arrange something in your absence.
Do you work directly with a mix of men and women?
Where I work, if your immediate team don't organise a card/gift, it won't happen. And the men never organise anything.

Mixed 50 50 ratio Men/Women. Well that's it, perhaps Friday, won't hold my breath after the ignorant behaviour.

tracey turnblad · 09-05-2017 11:36PM

If he is anything like me, I think all he wanted was their good wishes. I never received any good wishes from my management team. Not even a goodbye as I walked out the door...

Addle · 09-05-2017 11:37PM

wayne25 wrote: »

Mixed 50 50 ratio Men/Women. Well that's it, perhaps Friday, won't hold my breath after the ignorant behaviour.

Do you make a fuss to each of your colleagues when they have an occasion in their lives?

wayne25 · 09-05-2017 11:38PM

bubblypop wrote: »

No offence OP, but your wedding is not a big deal to anyone other than you & your other half & your families.
If your work colleagues are invited then Im sure they will give you a card / present. Other than that you shouldn't expect much.

Edit, people leaving work get recognition because it's work related

The thing is effort was made for occasions in the past for staff working there a year or two. That's the issue.

wayne25 · 09-05-2017 11:41PM

tracey turnblad wrote: »

If he is anything like me, I think all he wanted was their good wishes. I never received any good wishes from my management team. Not even a goodbye as I walked out the door...

BINGO! nail on the head, nowt to do with gushing colleagues, cards or gifts, good wishes and good luck. Very simple thing to say.

Romantic Rose · 09-05-2017 11:42PM

I think that's very odd. There's nowt so queer as folk though. People these days just seem to indulge their own egos at every turn about. They'll stop the buck when it's someone else. Sometimes I wonder where all the truely decent people of this world are. Good luck and congratulations anyhow

drunkmonkey · 09-05-2017 11:43PM

wayne25 wrote: »

The thing is effort was made for occasions in the past for staff working there a year or two. That's the issue.

Nobody gives a duck there not invited. Probably think your a bollix seen as your there 9 years and no invites.

Few people have said it, man the feck up, this isn't how men carry on. Go get some unmarried sex in as it's way underrated.

Addle · 09-05-2017 11:45PM

Maybe they just don't like you and don't want to be hypocrites.

09-05-2017 11:46PM

wayne25 wrote: »

The thing is effort was made for occasions in the past for staff working there a year or two. That's the issue.

But you said efforts were made with regard to promotions and retirements etc.
Are workmates invited to your wedding?
Was there a fuss over any other wedding?
Like I said, no one really cares bar you & your family

wayne25 · 09-05-2017 11:46PM

Addle wrote: »

Do you make a fuss to each of your colleagues when they have an occasion in their lives?

Yes. In fact I do. Maybe that's my problem.

endacl · 09-05-2017 11:47PM

Congratulations Wayne. I wish you and your bride every happiness for your future together.

Romantic Rose · 09-05-2017 11:49PM

endacl wrote: »

Congratulations Wayne. I wish you and your bride every happiness for your future together.

Easy enough thing to say in person. Takes all of 10 seconds. Goodness gracious me, some people have no consideration or decorum these days.

Never wrestle with pigs · 09-05-2017 11:50PM

wayne25 wrote: »

It's not to do with toughing up, it's simple manners and acknowledgement.

But it is really. Like I said work is work pet. You leave it at the door when you walk out the door for home.

wayne25 · 09-05-2017 11:51PM

bubblypop wrote: »

But you said efforts were made with regard to promotions and retirements etc.
Are workmates invited to your wedding?
Was there a fuss over any other wedding?
Like I said, no one really cares bar you & your family

Jesus a guard wouldn't ask these questions.

Yes some are, they I have no issue with.

Efforts are made for long serving staff yes and I've been to wedding day related Dos & fusses were made.(2 male colleagues over the years)

So yes my job cares, only depending on who you are and by how much a$$ you lick over your time there.

wayne25 · 09-05-2017 11:53PM

Never wrestle with pigs wrote: »

But it is really. Like I said work is work pet. You leave it at the door when you walk out the door for home.

That's fine that's your opinion. Everyone's different. Cheers

Addle · 09-05-2017 11:54PM

You're getting married in 3 days.
Focus on that and your marriage rather than your colleagues.

09-05-2017 11:55PM

wayne25 wrote: »

Jesus a guard wouldn't ask these questions.

Yes some are, they I have no issue with.

Efforts are made for long serving staff yes and I've been to wedding day related Dos & fusses were made.(2 male colleagues over the years)

So yes my job cares, only depending on who you are and by how much a$$ you lick over your time there.

Maybe people don't like your attitude & don't want to be hypocritical

wayne25 · 09-05-2017 11:56PM

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Nobody gives a duck there not invited. Probably think your a bollix seen as your there 9 years and no invites.

Few people have said it, man the feck up, this isn't how men carry on. Go get some unmarried sex in as it's way underrated.

Limited to 10 invites, not every staff member could get the time off, obviously. That's your opinion, fine.

drunkmonkey · 10-05-2017 12:14AM

wayne25 wrote: »

Limited to 10 invites, not every staff member could get the time off, obviously. That's your opinion, fine.

Park it and burn it, you've more important things to worry about. They probably forgot and if they said congrats when you first tell them that should be enough. These are work colleagues their not your "friends".

Do yourself and favour and don't come back near boards until your back from honeymoon. You don't need the distraction this week.

wayne25 · 10-05-2017 12:27AM

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Park it and burn it, you've more important things to worry about. They probably forgot and if they said congrats when you first tell them that should be enough. These are work colleagues their not your "friends".

Do yourself and favour and don't come back near boards until your back from honeymoon. You don't need the distraction this week.[/quote

Cheers all. On the grand scheme of things there are more important things. And yes after today certainly those people I thought were actual friends are far from it. A good lesson learned.

Adios!

Work related re my Wedding

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