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Self realisation

  • 04-04-2017 10:00pm
    #1
    GuessWhoEh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 252 ✭✭


    Has anyone ever had that moment in their day or week, or month when they've realised that their self worth is actually a lot more than they taught? They've realised that they are worth a lot more and certain people, places or things are the ones dragging them down?

    It took me years and I mean years to try and understand why people are who they are and let them treat me like rubbish just because I taught I would rather have friends who treat me like crap than have no friends at all and today, I just realised, you know what "f**k this" and deleted a few people's numbers and Facebook and told two "friends" that I can't be at their beck and call when they can't even be their for me. Their reaction was exactly what I expected, no text back. One even said "sure maybe it was for the best". Actually, they are right and right now I know I'll sleep like a baby with no stress. Also had an ex tell me outstraight that I was just their entertainment until someone else came along, also told him where to go as well. I honestly feel a lot better right now.


«1

Comments

  • #2
    me_irl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,400 ✭✭✭me_irl


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3CUh8v7MNo


  • #3
    Jack the Stripper
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,203 ✭✭✭Jack the Stripper


    Same thanks you will get op so look after yourself always.


  • #4
    GuessWhoEh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 252 ✭✭GuessWhoEh


    Jack the Stripper wrote: »
    Same thanks you will get op so look after yourself always.


    I spent almost a year helping a friend get over a break up and I needed the same chat a few weeks ago and I got "I'm sick I won't be able to talk", posted photos on snapchat being in Eddie Rockets two hours later and I taught you know what, this isn't for me. It goes both ways.


  • #5
    Pac1Man
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭Pac1Man


    GuessWhoEh wrote: »
    I spent almost a year helping a friend get over a break up and I needed the same chat a few weeks ago and I got "I'm sick I won't be able to talk", posted photos on snapchat being in Eddie Rockets two hours later and I taught you know what, this isn't for me. It goes both ways.

    Maybe they got a dodgy burger?


  • #6
    Roger Mellie Man on the Telly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Roger Mellie Man on the Telly


    Well done. I would appreciate it wholeheartedly if you could stop misspelling 'thought'.


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  • #7
    gizmo81
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,695 ✭✭✭gizmo81


    Some of us give ourselves over to others, giving your heart and soul, and it's destroying when it doesn't come back.

    If you're that type of person it's very difficult to stop giving.

    But as the other poster said you have to look after yourself.


  • #8
    PARlance
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,430 ✭✭✭✭PARlance


    Roger Mellie Man on the Telly wrote: »
    Well done. I would appreciate it wholeheartedly if you could stop misspelling 'thought'.

    Your next for the OP's chopping bored.


  • #9
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I have told a few former friends where to go in recent years, including one that I absolutely tore a strip off a few weeks ago for some hypocrisy and lying. Sincerity and honesty really are virtues, they save so much time and drama, I'm a firm convert to saying exactly what I think now. The good friends take it on board and respond positively, put their hands up and admit their behaviour wasn't good enough etc. The ones who get all defensive and throw a tantrum or do the silent sulky routine...bye bye.


  • #10
    please helpThank YOU
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,390 ✭✭✭please helpThank YOU


    GuessWhoEh wrote: »
    Has anyone ever had that moment in their day or week, or month when they've realised that their self worth is actually a lot more than they taught? They've realised that they are worth a lot more and certain people, places or things are the ones dragging them down?

    It took me years and I mean years to try and understand why people are who they are and let them treat me like rubbish just because I taught I would rather have friends who treat me like crap than have no friends at all and today, I just realised, you know what "f**k this" and deleted a few people's numbers and Facebook and told two "friends" that I can't be at their beck and call when they can't even be their for me. Their reaction was exactly what I expected, no text back. One even said "sure maybe it was for the best". Actually, they are right and right now I know I'll sleep like a baby with no stress. Also had an ex tell me outstraight that I was just their entertainment until someone else came along, also told him where to go as well. I honestly feel a lot better right now.
    ethnic cleanse fake friends from your life better of on your own .


  • #11
    venlo
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭venlo


    life is bitch

    then yo marry one


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  • #12
    GuessWhoEh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 252 ✭✭GuessWhoEh


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    I have told a few former friends where to go in recent years, including one that I absolutely tore a strip off a few weeks ago for some hypocrisy and lying. Sincerity and honesty really are virtues, they save so much time and drama, I'm a firm convert to saying exactly what I think now. The good friends take it on board and respond positively, put their hands up and admit their behaviour wasn't good enough etc. The ones who get all defensive and throw a tantrum or do the silent sulky routine...bye bye.

    It's also sad when they are so oblivious and genuinely think is you at fault when really you've put up with it for so long and eventually told them the truth. So far I've made two friend clearance and an old ex clearance who I should of just ignored months ago, but I've learned my lessons and now, moving on sounds exciting


  • #13
    Tigger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,705 ✭✭✭✭Tigger


    PARlance wrote: »
    Your next for the OP's chopping bored.

    I see what you did their


  • #14
    Tigger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,705 ✭✭✭✭Tigger


    venlo wrote: »
    life is bitch

    then yo marry one

    Then you get hit by a bus then you get better then you get aids but it goes into remission and then you get cancer and die

    Live these days as the days of your life cos they might be
    Or don't


  • #15
    Canis Lupus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    R u ok hun?


  • #16
    Suckler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭Suckler


    GuessWhoEh wrote: »
    Has anyone ever had that moment in their day or week, or month when they've realised that their self worth is actually a lot more than they taught? ....

    It took me years and I mean years to try and understand why people are who they are and let them treat me like rubbish just because I taught I would rather have friends who treat me like crap than have no friends ......

    I think you should stop teaching.


  • #17
    Tigger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,705 ✭✭✭✭Tigger


    Canis Lupus wrote: »
    R u ok hun?

    Dose Barry know you're raiding his memes wardrobe ?


  • #18
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    GuessWhoEh wrote: »
    It's also sad when they are so oblivious and genuinely think is you at fault when really you've put up with it for so long and eventually told them the truth. So far I've made two friend clearance and an old ex clearance who I should of just ignored months ago, but I've learned my lessons and now, moving on sounds exciting

    It's not very pleasant to lose close friends. One I kept on falling back in with, wanting to see the good side, overlooking the bad stuff until it just became too tiring and I let fly. I particularly hate being lied to.


  • #19
    venlo
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭venlo


    Tigger wrote: »
    Then you get hit by a bus then you get better then you get aids but it goes into remission and then you get cancer and die

    Live these days as the days of your life cos they might be
    Or don't

    i couldn't have put it better myself


  • #20
    GuessWhoEh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 252 ✭✭GuessWhoEh


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    It's not very pleasant to lose close friends. One I kept on falling back in with, wanting to see the good side, overlooking the bad stuff until it just became too tiring and I let fly. I particularly hate being lied to.

    It's a new day tomorrow :)


  • #21
    neonsofa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,476 ✭✭✭neonsofa


    In future when you realise that people don't deserve your time, I'd advise just not bothering at all. Why bother sending them a message to state that you are cutting contact? If they are that draining etc. then just don't waste any more time on them than you already have, you don't owe them anything and it's not like they are waiting by the phone for you either way, so just move on and be happy, no need for any more drama or energy being spent on them :)


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  • #22
    please helpThank YOU
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,390 ✭✭✭please helpThank YOU


    True friends will always be there for you in times of trouble/need. fake friends will let you down in time of need /trouble. delete them from your phone burn pictures of them and let them burn in hell.


  • #23
    GuessWhoEh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 252 ✭✭GuessWhoEh


    neonsofa wrote: »
    In future when you realise that people don't deserve your time, I'd advise just not bothering at all. Why bother sending them a message to state that you are cutting contact? If they are that draining etc. then just don't waste any more time on them than you already have, you don't owe them anything and it's not like they are waiting by the phone for you either way, so just move on and be happy, no need for any more drama or energy being spent on them :)

    Preach :)


  • #24
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc8crnqKEns


  • #25
    Tigger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,705 ✭✭✭✭Tigger


    neonsofa wrote: »
    In future when you realise that people don't deserve your time, I'd advise just not bothering at all. Why bother sending them a message to state that you are cutting contact? If they are that draining etc. then just don't waste any more time on them than you already have, you don't owe them anything and it's not like they are waiting by the phone for you either way, so just move on and be happy, no need for any more drama or energy being spent on them :)

    Well in my experience they don't like being ignored and make an effort to re friend you
    I've had people that I decided weren't worth it call to me door or try to restablish contact
    Had to tell them
    It's easier to tell them straight out
    Gtf


  • #26
    Tigger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,705 ✭✭✭✭Tigger


    please helpThank YOU wrote: »
    True friends will always be there for you in times of trouble/need. fake friends will let you down in time of need /trouble. delete them from your phone burn pictures of them and let them burn in hell.

    Champagne for my real friends
    Napalm for my ex friends


  • #27
    neonsofa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,476 ✭✭✭neonsofa


    Tigger wrote: »
    Well in my experience they don't like being ignored and make an effort to re friend you
    I've had people that I decided weren't worth it call to me door or try to restablish contact
    Had to tell them
    It's easier to tell them straight out
    Gtf

    Maybe people just like you more and think you are worthy of that effort, obviously people have just been grand with me ditching them. Maybe even relieved! :pac:


  • #28
    please helpThank YOU
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,390 ✭✭✭please helpThank YOU


    Confront your fake friends and make them Feel Small take back the Power.


  • #29
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,379 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    I read someplace before that similar to having regular wardrobe clear outs of clothes you know longer wear, you should have phone clear outs whereby you go through your contacts list and delete all the ones you dont need/will never need.
    I've done it and it's a great feeling.
    Spring cleaning your dead wood contacts!!

    To thine own self be true



  • #30
    please helpThank YOU
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,390 ✭✭✭please helpThank YOU


    Purple Mountain wrote: »
    I read someplace before that similar to having regular wardrobe clear outs of clothes you know longer wear, you should have phone clear outs whereby you go through your contacts list and delete all the ones you dont need/will never need.
    I've done it and it's a great feeling.
    Spring cleaning your dead wood contacts!!
    Ethnic Cleanse your Phone delete them Rodents/Fake Friends and better your self always look your best is the best Revenge for fake people/friends.


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  • #31
    neonsofa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,476 ✭✭✭neonsofa


    please helpThank YOU wrote: »
    Ethnic Cleanse your Phone delete them Rodents/Fake Friends and better your self always look your best is the best Revenge for fake people/friends.

    I think you need to Google the term ethnic cleanse


  • #32
    Kivaro
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,105 ✭✭✭Kivaro


    Tigger wrote: »
    Then you get hit by a bus then you get better then you get aids but it goes into remission and then you get cancer and die

    Live these days as the days of your life cos they might be
    Or don't

    Not a chance; they're on strike.


  • #33
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,275 ✭✭✭Your Face


    I have done that OP.

    There were a few friends from school, whom I still was keeping in contact with, out of habit.

    I had a George Costanza moment on a particular night out of high drama years ago.

    I looked around at them and asked myself:
    " These people, these are your friends?"

    I let the communication die a death and actively tried to make new friends whom I actually liked.


  • #34
    please helpThank YOU
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,390 ✭✭✭please helpThank YOU


    GuessWhoEh wrote: »
    Has anyone ever had that moment in their day or week, or month when they've realised that their self worth is actually a lot more than they taught? They've realised that they are worth a lot more and certain people, places or things are the ones dragging them down?

    It took me years and I mean years to try and understand why people are who they are and let them treat me like rubbish just because I taught I would rather have friends who treat me like crap than have no friends at all and today, I just realised, you know what "f**k this" and deleted a few people's numbers and Facebook and told two "friends" that I can't be at their beck and call when they can't even be their for me. Their reaction was exactly what I expected, no text back. One even said "sure maybe it was for the best". Actually, they are right and right now I know I'll sleep like a baby with no stress. Also had an ex tell me outstraight that I was just their entertainment until someone else came along, also told him where to go as well. I honestly feel a lot better right now.
    The Rock Band The Interrupters have a Song Take Back The Power. .Listen to the song... Fake People/Fake Friends Ireland has Infestation of Horrible Nasty Fake Friends / Fake People. I Would say in my Opinion 60% to 80% per cent of People /Friends you will meet are Shallow Talking behind your back will let You Down when you Need Help and that Goes for Family to are the same if not Worse.


  • #35
    dd972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭dd972


    Chucking in a job and environment I hated a few years back, only interact with family and friends now and wouldn't have it any other way, some other dude's getting s**t talked about and insulted now. I'm generally the misfit in any room I walk into so being a hermit's fine by me, leave life to the 'face fitters'.


  • #36
    Shurimgreat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,133 ✭✭✭Shurimgreat


    A friend who uses you is not a friend at all.

    Better to have a small number of reliable friends than a large number who you can't rely on.

    When the chips are down, you always know who your friends are and who has your back. The rest will run for the hills.


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  • #37
    Robsweezie
    Registered Users Posts: 3,434 ✭✭✭Robsweezie


    Nice to you but rude to the waiter? Not a nice person.


  • #38
    oneilla
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭oneilla


    Recently there was a thread about friends who come to you for help and then when you go to them with some problem they're absent or "busy".

    (I can't find the thread*. It was within the past four weeks but I searched the last month and couldn't find it - it was something like " I helped a friend through a break up for a year and they were sick when I contacted them during a break up)

    So tonight I sent a friend a message with a serious life concern/worry and she's not replied. This friend regularly sends me texts and messages on apps about even the most minor of concerns she has about her life events including breakups. Yet anytime I reveal something that's a bit difficult then she disappears.


    *if someone finds the thread it'd be great if this could be merged*


  • #39
    ChunkyLover54
    Registered Users Posts: 564 ✭✭✭ChunkyLover54


    Some friendly advice - don't rely on other people.


  • #40
    _Whimsical_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,959 ✭✭✭_Whimsical_


    You mostly only find who your real friends are when you have a difficulty in your life and most people then discover that the number you'll count as true friends will quickly dwindle. It happens to everyone. Take it as an opportunity to learn who to stop wasting your precious time on and be less available to people unwilling to reciprocate your kindness.


  • #41
    oneilla
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭oneilla


    _Whimsical_ wrote: »
    You mostly only find who your real friends are when you have a difficulty in your life and most people then discover that the number you'll count as true friends will quickly dwindle. It happens to everyone. Take it as an opportunity to learn who to stop wasting your precious time on and be less available to people unwilling to reciprocate your kindness.

    Fair advice. This friend in particular is one who has come to me with a variety of "OMG my life is over" problems for years and years. If I ever mention something bad and she just doesn't want to know.

    (Does anyone know of the previous thread I mentioned? It's basically the same topic but I can't find it)


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  • #42
    lawred2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,505 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    Most people in your life will be circumstantial friends..

    The real friends are those still there when your circumstances change.

    For most people they will be lucky if that's one or two people.


  • #43
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    This one?

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057725794


  • #44
    jamesbere
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,022 ✭✭✭jamesbere


    lawred2 wrote: »
    Most people in your life will be circumstantial friends..

    The real friends are those still there when your circumstances change.

    For most people they will be lucky if that's one or two people.

    Real friends are the ones that give you blowjobs :D


  • #45
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    c47ee3db512563ee5355e1c4d822556d_inbetweeners-friend-meme-inbetweeners_236-236.jpeg


  • #46
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,275 ✭✭✭Your Face


    Did they message you back yet OP?


  • #47
    oneilla
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭oneilla


    Your Face wrote: »
    Did they message you back yet OP?

    I sent the text last night about 8-ish (we had been messaging at the time). Haven't heard back but I doubt I will - at most I might get a basic reply in a week or two.


  • #48
    gramar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    It's been a few hours OP...anything could have happened...

    descarga.jpg


  • #49
    JimmyTClarke
    Closed Accounts Posts: 128 ✭✭JimmyTClarke


    Robsweezie wrote: »
    Nice to you but rude to the waiter? Not a nice person.

    Yes, I completely agree. That says a lot about a person (a superiority complex for a start).


  • #50
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    The kind of friend that will take 2 hours to text you back, but every time you see them they are glued to their phone.


  • #51
    s15r330
    Closed Accounts Posts: 944 ✭✭✭s15r330


    oneilla wrote: »
    I sent the text last night about 8-ish (we had been messaging at the time). Haven't heard back but I doubt I will - at most I might get a basic reply in a week or two.

    I could be wrong here, but i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's not what you call a friend! Sounds more like a leech, expects all of your help with nothing in return.

    I'd help anyone out, i'd go out of my way to do it, but the minute someone doesn't return the favour they're dropped.

    Who needs those fools in their lives?!


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