Self realisation

Kivaro

Tigger wrote: »

Then you get hit by a bus then you get better then you get aids but it goes into remission and then you get cancer and die

Live these days as the days of your life cos they might be
Or don't

Not a chance; they're on strike.

Your Face

I have done that OP.

There were a few friends from school, whom I still was keeping in contact with, out of habit.

I had a George Costanza moment on a particular night out of high drama years ago.

I looked around at them and asked myself:
" These people, these are your friends?"

I let the communication die a death and actively tried to make new friends whom I actually liked.

please helpThank YOU

GuessWhoEh wrote: »

Has anyone ever had that moment in their day or week, or month when they've realised that their self worth is actually a lot more than they taught? They've realised that they are worth a lot more and certain people, places or things are the ones dragging them down?

It took me years and I mean years to try and understand why people are who they are and let them treat me like rubbish just because I taught I would rather have friends who treat me like crap than have no friends at all and today, I just realised, you know what "f**k this" and deleted a few people's numbers and Facebook and told two "friends" that I can't be at their beck and call when they can't even be their for me. Their reaction was exactly what I expected, no text back. One even said "sure maybe it was for the best". Actually, they are right and right now I know I'll sleep like a baby with no stress. Also had an ex tell me outstraight that I was just their entertainment until someone else came along, also told him where to go as well. I honestly feel a lot better right now.

The Rock Band The Interrupters have a Song Take Back The Power. .Listen to the song... Fake People/Fake Friends Ireland has Infestation of Horrible Nasty Fake Friends / Fake People. I Would say in my Opinion 60% to 80% per cent of People /Friends you will meet are Shallow Talking behind your back will let You Down when you Need Help and that Goes for Family to are the same if not Worse.

dd972

Chucking in a job and environment I hated a few years back, only interact with family and friends now and wouldn't have it any other way, some other dude's getting s**t talked about and insulted now. I'm generally the misfit in any room I walk into so being a hermit's fine by me, leave life to the 'face fitters'.

Shurimgreat

A friend who uses you is not a friend at all.

Better to have a small number of reliable friends than a large number who you can't rely on.

When the chips are down, you always know who your friends are and who has your back. The rest will run for the hills.

Robsweezie

Nice to you but rude to the waiter? Not a nice person.

oneilla

Recently there was a thread about friends who come to you for help and then when you go to them with some problem they're absent or "busy".

(I can't find the thread*. It was within the past four weeks but I searched the last month and couldn't find it - it was something like " I helped a friend through a break up for a year and they were sick when I contacted them during a break up)

So tonight I sent a friend a message with a serious life concern/worry and she's not replied. This friend regularly sends me texts and messages on apps about even the most minor of concerns she has about her life events including breakups. Yet anytime I reveal something that's a bit difficult then she disappears.


*if someone finds the thread it'd be great if this could be merged*

ChunkyLover54

Some friendly advice - don't rely on other people.

_Whimsical_

You mostly only find who your real friends are when you have a difficulty in your life and most people then discover that the number you'll count as true friends will quickly dwindle. It happens to everyone. Take it as an opportunity to learn who to stop wasting your precious time on and be less available to people unwilling to reciprocate your kindness.

oneilla

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

You mostly only find who your real friends are when you have a difficulty in your life and most people then discover that the number you'll count as true friends will quickly dwindle. It happens to everyone. Take it as an opportunity to learn who to stop wasting your precious time on and be less available to people unwilling to reciprocate your kindness.

Fair advice. This friend in particular is one who has come to me with a variety of "OMG my life is over" problems for years and years. If I ever mention something bad and she just doesn't want to know.

(Does anyone know of the previous thread I mentioned? It's basically the same topic but I can't find it)

lawred2

Most people in your life will be circumstantial friends..

The real friends are those still there when your circumstances change.

For most people they will be lucky if that's one or two people.

This one?

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057725794

jamesbere

lawred2 wrote: »

Most people in your life will be circumstantial friends..

The real friends are those still there when your circumstances change.

For most people they will be lucky if that's one or two people.

Real friends are the ones that give you blowjobs

Your Face

Did they message you back yet OP?

oneilla

Your Face wrote: »

Did they message you back yet OP?

I sent the text last night about 8-ish (we had been messaging at the time). Haven't heard back but I doubt I will - at most I might get a basic reply in a week or two.

gramar

It's been a few hours OP...anything could have happened...

JimmyTClarke

Robsweezie wrote: »

Nice to you but rude to the waiter? Not a nice person.

Yes, I completely agree. That says a lot about a person (a superiority complex for a start).

biko

The kind of friend that will take 2 hours to text you back, but every time you see them they are glued to their phone.

s15r330

oneilla wrote: »

I sent the text last night about 8-ish (we had been messaging at the time). Haven't heard back but I doubt I will - at most I might get a basic reply in a week or two.

I could be wrong here, but i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's not what you call a friend! Sounds more like a leech, expects all of your help with nothing in return.

I'd help anyone out, i'd go out of my way to do it, but the minute someone doesn't return the favour they're dropped.

Who needs those fools in their lives?!

Satts

oneilla wrote: »

I sent the text last night about 8-ish (we had been messaging at the time). Haven't heard back but I doubt I will - at most I might get a basic reply in a week or two.

Time to start weeding that person out of your life.

Comhrá

I saw a quote once in someone's autograph book:

"Love many, trust few - always paddle your own canoe".

I never forgot it and it's one of the best pieces of advice I ever read.

_Whimsical_

biko wrote: »

The kind of friend that will take 2 hours to text you back, but every time you see them they are glued to their phone.

Is 2 hrs considered a really long reply time?
I'm often longer than that but then I am never glued to my phone.

JimmyTClarke

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Is 2 hrs considered a really long reply time?
I'm often longer than that but then I am never glued to my phone.

Look, Whimsical, these days we're all precious snowflakes who need constant attention, instant gratification and reassurance of how great we are. Get with the programme.

guile4582

there was me thinking this thread was going to be a deep insight about someone coming to terms with their existence, their mortality, their place in the universe and realising that we all die alone and struggling with the knowledge of their fate

but nah...it's about popularity

kunst nugget

GuessWhoEh wrote: »

Has anyone ever had that moment in their day or week, or month when they've realised that their self worth is actually a lot more than they taught? They've realised that they are worth a lot more and certain people, places or things are the ones dragging them down?

Aye, usually after a bag of charlie. Wears off quick enough though...

Purple Mountain

I have a friend in my life who we met in secondary school. We are still friends now but being really honest if we met for the first time now we wouldn't even be acquaintances.
Our paths have taken us down very different roads and now we both have polar opposite values/intetests/beliefs etc to each other. The thing I've come to realize with age though is neither of us is right/wrong and it's best just to accept/respect each other as we are now.
I don't waste time trying to be nostalgic and try to fake common ground but at same time I don't want to let her go either because she's a good girl so we've both automatically yet unannouncedly redefined our friendship by putting a bit of space between us and it's working fine.

Minderbinder

To be honest I don't think I'd get along with too many of the people in this thread moaning and whining about 'real' and 'fake' friends. Too much drama.

I guess the OP is probably being dramatic and an absolute nightmare to be around.

Though I expect what men and women want in a friend is a bit different.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

pragmatic1

I saw a quote once in someone's autograph book:

"Love many, trust few - always paddle your own canoe".

I never forgot it and it's one of the best pieces of advice I ever read.

That's the best piece of advice I ever got, My mother told me and my brothers and sisters and her mother told her and her siblings. It really is sound advice.

Another good one is neither a lender nor a borrower be.