Real life v.s. Online personality

....... · 28-03-2017 12:01pm

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Autonomous Cowherd · 28-03-2017 12:22pm

....... wrote: »

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I agree with what you are saying in general, and especially on the everyday mundane level that it is meant. Hateful thoughts can be fatal to others. I was just taking it a level deeper...this idea of ''genuinely feeling'' something is so open to challenge. How do people end up genuinely feeling/thinking something? Anything? Can those thoughts stand up to real interrogation or are they conditioned enculturation and irrational?
Anyways I think this angle of mine is not appropriate for this thread , so i will leave it go now

Thanks for responding.

thepikminman · 30-03-2017 1:27am

fizzypish wrote: »

Actions have always spoken louder than words. Someone threatening to kick the **** out of me will never be as bad as the lad/lass who actually does it. I can't help but get the impression your young. My personality only settled properly around 25ish and some of the things your saying remind me of a younger version of myself which I've grown out of. I used to think that people were more honest with drink in the system. Not the case, the filter and error checking mechanism between brain and mouth are bypassed. I think online is similar in that the mechanisms are bypassed again but its due to the lack of repercussions. I'm not trying to **** on you as this is a good thread and discussion but you must know that the way your phrasing certain things comes across as cunty (It could simply be something that I perceive though). You'll catch more flies with honey.

Exactly, the filters are bypassed - my point is that people in real life use so many filters, just to be liked as people, and those filters completely change how their real self is coming across i.e. most people are fake, pathetic cowards.

I don't get what you mean by thinking I'm young, did I say something naive? You sure you didn't just creep on my other threads?

You seem to be disagreeing and agreeing with me at the same time, tidy that formatting up man, it's hard to follow.

Okay that's kind of "cunty", I don't see how my previous posts were though.

melloa · 30-03-2017 1:33am

the moderators are russian hackers

Klinger · 30-03-2017 1:42am

You act differently on line, because there are no consequences.

fuzzydunlop85 · 30-03-2017 1:43am

Men who try to pull women online are pathetic, ladies - pm me if you would like to discuss this further.

con___manx1 · 30-03-2017 2:14am

I wouldn't say my online personality is much different to my real one but my work personality is different. It has to be and I'm sure it's the case with alot of people.

RDM_83 again · 30-03-2017 2:49am

Klinger wrote: »

You act differently on line, because there are no consequences.

I think this is a big part of it, in real life there is a major incentive to reach a compromise position, online even in a place with a level of permanence attached to users like boards.ie there is much less.

Looking at only the stereotypical angry poster and trolls is only half the picture though, there is also the whole butter wouldn't melt type thing where people make an effort to present themselves in a particularly good light and often as absolutely moral or utterly relatable.
Both are extremes that don't really happen that much in real life.

I know for myself I tend to post on threads that are ones that potentially have a social cost in real life depending who's involved because for many (understandably) the political is the personal.

Noddyholder · 30-03-2017 7:33am

What I find about the internet & in personal life that you can get a gang on Internet ****in warriors who are great at mouthing of about whatever & you just know the same arseholes couldn't bless themselves in real life,

****wits.

Grayson · 30-03-2017 8:15am

There's a good mini documentary on the guardian where someone went and talked to some of the angriest people online. Each was a pretty sad person in real life. You do however get the impression that most of them would have no problem saying the same stuff in real life.
The filmmaker gets them to read out their angry tweets and explain it. One guy at the end is apologetic. He was really anti Muslim until he met some.

Grayson · 30-03-2017 8:21am

RDM_83 again wrote: »

Looking at only the stereotypical angry poster and trolls is only half the picture though, there is also the whole butter wouldn't melt type thing where people make an effort to present themselves in a particularly good light and often as absolutely moral or utterly relatable.
Both are extremes that don't really happen that much in real life.

The outrage some people have over the most trivial of things. You'll find a thread started by someone who managed to find the most obscure blogger, posting the dumbest thing and suddenly there's outrage. You get the image of someone somewhere sitting there, red faced and shouting at the screen.
They're probably sitting on a couch after dinner, expressionless, farting and have eastenders on in the background.

fizzypish · 30-03-2017 9:13am

thepikminman wrote: »

Exactly, the filters are bypassed - my point is that people in real life use so many filters, just to be liked as people, and those filters completely change how their real self is coming across i.e. most people are fake, pathetic cowards.

I don't get what you mean by thinking I'm young, did I say something naive? You sure you didn't just creep on my other threads?

You seem to be disagreeing and agreeing with me at the same time, tidy that formatting up man, it's hard to follow.

Okay that's kind of "cunty", I don't see how my previous posts were though.

Filters are used to strain out noise. Noise is useless and can misconstrue data. A bad example "British people are stupid for approving brexit" Vs "I disagree with brexit". Both statements have the same point but only 1 is pure data and the other will generate annoyed angry responses which will dilute a very valid opinion.

I've only once snooped someones previous thread and thats because I let them get under my skin. That was my own fault. Throwing previous opinions into the fray my not help the debate and most importantly, opinions change. Daily, weekly, yearly. I don't do it generally and didn't in your case. I thought you were young because when I was younger (I'm not that old either) I had more black and white opinions. You just kinda sounded young. Thats not a dig, just what I thought and I could be wrong.

I may not have been clear and seeing as you started this thread in PI, I'm giving a bit more examples and personal experience that I normally would in AH. I disagree with the point that online is the truer representation. These filters are part of your personality. Just because people elect not to use them online, it doesn't mean that the online opinion is truer and more to the core. I saw an episode of that show catfish where a girl usurped another girls identity and said horrible **** online. When they confronted her she apologized and cried etc.... Her personality wasn't the online individual (I hope) nor the meek crying girl apologizing. I think it lies somewhere in the middle.

The "cunty" point my be just something I perceive. I try not to read tone from text as it can lead to misinterpretations and maybe thats whats happening here. What I perceived as "cunty" was saying that "most people are fake, pathetic cowards." Most people? I get the point but saying most people using the net are pathetic cowards is a bit much. A man running out on his struggling family is a pathetic coward. A guy (like me) filtering his views is a pathetic coward in the same way? Maybe its just the strength of the wording I disagree with.

I used to work in a hotel. I worked a few traveller weddings and had bad experiences. I don't (try not to anyway) enter forums on the topic with my knee jerk bad experiences reactions. I let my brain take the reigns and my emotions take the back seat. I don't jump in with "**** these ****......" because I don't understand the culture or the struggles of these people and I know its a ****ty thing to bracket all these people negatively because I had a few bad experiences. So its a filter I use and it makes me better.

....... · 30-03-2017 9:21am

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biko · 30-03-2017 9:41am

I'm worse IRL

KilOit · 30-03-2017 9:42am

Real and online is very same for me, I'm friendly and respectfull to people that are the same to me. You would lose your faith in humanity if you took everything to heart when playing online games, some real nasty pieces of **** out there, I get a real kick out of helping random strangers in a game like WoW for example

pilly · 30-03-2017 9:56am

thepikminman wrote: »

I know, that's so true. the internet is what really makes me doubt the goodness in people, and makes me think it's not because they're good people, it's because they're cowards/desperate to be liked. 90% of people anyway

90% is way overestimating this OP. There are a certain % of people who are nasty underneath a façade but it's certainly not 90%.

andekwarhola · 30-03-2017 10:02am

More or less the same, I think. It's impossible to quantify though. By the very nature of online discourse, you're not interacting with people in a holistic sense.

thepikminman · 31-03-2017 1:33am

fizzypish wrote: »

Filters are used to strain out noise. Noise is useless and can misconstrue data. A bad example "British people are stupid for approving brexit" Vs "I disagree with brexit". Both statements have the same point but only 1 is pure data and the other will generate annoyed angry responses which will dilute a very valid opinion.

I've only once snooped someones previous thread and thats because I let them get under my skin. That was my own fault. Throwing previous opinions into the fray my not help the debate and most importantly, opinions change. Daily, weekly, yearly. I don't do it generally and didn't in your case. I thought you were young because when I was younger (I'm not that old either) I had more black and white opinions. You just kinda sounded young. Thats not a dig, just what I thought and I could be wrong.

I may not have been clear and seeing as you started this thread in PI, I'm giving a bit more examples and personal experience that I normally would in AH. I disagree with the point that online is the truer representation. These filters are part of your personality. Just because people elect not to use them online, it doesn't mean that the online opinion is truer and more to the core. I saw an episode of that show catfish where a girl usurped another girls identity and said horrible **** online. When they confronted her she apologized and cried etc.... Her personality wasn't the online individual (I hope) nor the meek crying girl apologizing. I think it lies somewhere in the middle.

The "cunty" point my be just something I perceive. I try not to read tone from text as it can lead to misinterpretations and maybe thats whats happening here. What I perceived as "cunty" was saying that "most people are fake, pathetic cowards." Most people? I get the point but saying most people using the net are pathetic cowards is a bit much. A man running out on his struggling family is a pathetic coward. A guy (like me) filtering his views is a pathetic coward in the same way? Maybe its just the strength of the wording I disagree with.

I used to work in a hotel. I worked a few traveller weddings and had bad experiences. I don't (try not to anyway) enter forums on the topic with my knee jerk bad experiences reactions. I let my brain take the reigns and my emotions take the back seat. I don't jump in with "**** these ****......" because I don't understand the culture or the struggles of these people and I know its a ****ty thing to bracket all these people negatively because I had a few bad experiences. So its a filter I use and it makes me better.

I disagree with the first bolded part. Yeah, filters are used to strain out noise, but that noise (i.e. people's horribleness) is the real version of the sound. The newer version may sound better, but it's not real. In your filtering example, if the first statement (the "mean" one) is what someone is really thinking, then they ARE a bad person. And their filter is fake and pathetic and cowardly.

And anyway, people don't just filter out the bad, they completely change their personalities to suit the general population. Most people who I see anyway.

Is the fact that online behavior is so much worse than real life behavior not enough to show that people want to be nasty, but don't have the balls in real life? I.e. "fake pathetic cowards" - fake because they're not being themselves in real life, pathetic because they're desperate to be liked/accepted, cowards because they're afraid of the real life repercussions.

And I didn't mean most people just on the net, I meant most people in general, in the world.

And yeah, I'm 23...

Glenster · 31-03-2017 1:39am

thepikminman wrote: »

I disagree with the first bolded part. Yeah, filters are used to strain out noise, but that noise (i.e. people's horribleness) is the real version of the sound.

The bit of you that filters what you do/say is as much a part of you as the bit that tells you that all your co-workers are weak and should be shouted at.

If anything it's more you because it generally 'wins'.

thepikminman · 31-03-2017 1:52am

Guys, my reason for my original post was to highlight that I believe most (not all, but I believe over 90%) people aren't good people. Either that or they're so malleable and narrow minded that they simply can't think outside the box that they are born into.

Like I said before, if all these "nice", "polite" people we meet were born in the 1700s, they'd be whipping and spitting on black people and thinking nothing of it. Same goes for the reverse. And if the terrorists who bombed the world trade center were born in america instead, they'd be shooting the al-Qaeda. If american soldiers were born in Iraq they'd be shooting american soldiers. People are mindless.

My point: Nearly all people are either horrible or dim-witted and can't think for themselves in any way.

All I can say is thank God for the great figures in mankind's history, our development as a race is solely due to them. The human race, in my opinion, consists of 99% hairless monkeys with good memorys, and 1% people who actually make a difference.

thepikminman · 31-03-2017 1:54am

Glenster wrote: »

The bit of you that filters what you do/say is as much a part of you as the bit that tells you that all your co-workers are weak and should be shouted at.

If anything it's more you because it generally 'wins'.

Yeah, your ability to filter is part of you, that doesn't mean the act of filtering isn't fake. If someone filters a lot, they're probably bad, fake people.

Glenster · 31-03-2017 2:10am

thepikminman wrote: »

Yeah, your ability to filter is part of you, that doesn't mean the act of filtering isn't fake. If someone filters a lot, they're probably bad, fake people.

Dont get stuck in your own head, or anyone elses.

Not calling a slow barista a stupid b*stard doesnt make you a bad person.

thepikminman · 31-03-2017 2:15am

Glenster wrote: »

Dont get stuck in your own head, or anyone elses.

Not calling a slow barista a stupid b*stard doesnt make you a bad person.

Yeah, but I'm not talking about that type of filtering. Obviously filtering for the sake of not hurting someone's feelings isn't a bad thing.

I'm talking about the way people don't speak their minds because they have bad thoughts and are afraid of how people would react towards them if they spoke up.

They have no problem saying whatever bad things online, but in real life they stop themselves, proving that they don't hold back in real life because they don't want to hurt people's feelings, they hold back in real life because they're cowards.

thepikminman · 31-03-2017 2:24am

Why is life so f-ing complicated? All the fake, bull**** that people create, trying to be people they're not just to impress and ultimately to have sex. Copying, mindlessly.

The only explanation is that that's the only option for most people -to fake it -because most people aren't interesting or talented, so they need to just pretend to be.

The depression, unfair thing is, that dominant actually causes the world to be so full of **** that some actual talented so get anywhere just because they're not able to bring themselves to be part of the fakeness. And so many times, the real people are seen as being fake, "acting" smart, just because they speaking their minds but not doing it in the conventional fake way.

What to do... must take advantage somehow... maybe I'll start selling Justin Bieber t-shirts...yeah he's famous that should work.

Glenster · 31-03-2017 2:24am

thepikminman wrote: »

Yeah, but I'm not talking about that type of filtering. Obviously filtering for the sake of not hurting someone's feelings isn't a bad thing.

I'm talking about the way people don't speak their minds because they have bad thoughts and are afraid of how people would react towards them if they spoke up.

They have no problem saying whatever bad things online, but in real life they stop themselves, proving that they don't hold back in real life because they don't want to hurt people's feelings, they hold back in real life because they're cowards.

We all have bad thoughts/impulses, theres a bit of our brain that controls fear and agression and wants us to glass/run from everyone who bumps into us. Doesn't mean we're bad. Doesnt mean that when we stop ourselves doing that we're fake.

And im not sure people are any different on the internet than they are in real life. You're probably just talking to people online you wouldnt talk to normally.

thepikminman · 31-03-2017 2:27am

Glenster wrote: »

We all have bad thoughts/impulses, theres a bit of our brain that controls fear and agression and wants us to glass/run from everyone who bumps into us. Doesn't mean we're bad. Doesnt mean that when we stop ourselves doing that we're fake.

And im not sure people are any different on the internet than they are in real life. You're probably just talking to people online you wouldnt talk to normally.

I'm not talking about those thoughts. I'm talking about people who enjoy making people sad and who take advantage of honesty. And I think the majority of people would if they had balls, sadly.

And I don't talk to many people at all, but I observe them, like I'm watching the discovery channel.

Glenster · 31-03-2017 2:37am

thepikminman wrote: »

I'm not talking about those thoughts. I'm talking about people who enjoy making people sad and who take advantage of honesty. And I think the majority of people would if they had balls, sadly.

Its a shame you think that. I personally dont agree, but i suppose its unprovable either way...

thepikminman · 31-03-2017 2:38am

HAVE TO CAPITALIZE THIS:

I JUST REALIZED, EVERYTHING I'M SAYING ON HERE NOW I WOULD NEVER SAY TO ANYONE IF REAL LIFE. I'M NOT SAYING BAD THINGS, I'M JUST SHARING MY OPINION, SO WHY CAN'T I DO IT IN REAL LIFE? THAT'S THE REASON FOR MY OP. ANY IDEAS ON WHY THAT MIGHT BE? I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I KNOW THEY WON'T GET IT AND IT MIGHT OFFEND THEM OR END UP AWKWARD OR THEY'LL THINK I'M A FREAK (LIKE MOST OF YOU PROBABLY DO), BUT WHY DON'T I CARE SAYING IT ON HERE? AND I'M COMPLETELY CONFIDENT IN SAYING IT HERE, BUT WOULDN'T BE IN REAL LIFE. WHAT'S GOING ON?

CAN YOU GUYS TELL ME, IF YOU MET SOMEONE IN REAL LIFE WHO SAID THE STUFF I'M SAYING, WHAT WOULD YOU THINK OF THEM? I THINK I'D BE OSTRACIZED, WHICH I ALREADY AM BUT FOR BEING EXTREMELY SHY AND AWKWARD, NOT FOR SAYING THIS TYPE OF STUFF.

SO I HAVE TO PICK BETWEEN BEING OSTRACIZED FOR BEING A GUY WITH UNCONVENTIONAL OPINIONS OR OSTRACIZED FOR BEING SHY AND AWKWARD? H-HELP??? ANYONE???

Glenster · 31-03-2017 2:40am

thepikminman wrote: »

HAVE TO CAPITALIZE THIS:

I JUST REALIZED, EVERYTHING I'M SAYING ON HERE NOW I WOULD NEVER SAY TO ANYONE IF REAL LIFE. I'M NOT SAYING BAD THINGS, I'M JUST SHARING MY OPINION, SO WHY CAN'T I DO IT IN REAL LIFE? THAT'S THE REASON FOR MY OP. ANY IDEAS ON WHY THAT MIGHT BE? I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I KNOW THEY WON'T GET IT AND IT MIGHT OFFEND THEM OR END UP AWKWARD OR THEY'LL THINK I'M A FREAK (LIKE MOST OF YOU PROBABLY DO), BUT WHY DON'T I CARE SAYING IT ON HERE? AND I'M COMPLETELY CONFIDENT IN SAYING IT HERE, BUT WOULDN'T BE IN REAL LIFE. WHAT'S GOING ON?

CAN YOU GUYS TELL ME, IF YOU MET SOMEONE IN REAL LIFE WHO SAID THE STUFF I'M SAYING, WHAT WOULD YOU THINK OF THEM? I THINK I'D BE OSTRACIZED, WHICH I ALREADY AM BUT FOR BEING EXTREMELY SHY AND AWKWARD, NOT FOR SAYING THIS TYPE OF STUFF.

SO I HAVE TO PICK BETWEEN BEING OSTRACIZED FOR BEING A GUY WITH UNCONVENTIONAL OPINIONS OR OSTRACIZED FOR BEING SHY AND AWKWARD? H-HELP??? ANYONE???

Just don't talk about that specific thing.

Talk about football or something.

thepikminman · 31-03-2017 2:41am

Glenster wrote: »

Its a shame you think that. I personally dont agree, but i suppose its unprovable either way...

Yeah, all I can say is I've had my fair share of people treating me like crap solely because I'm a timid guy, and they attack for that reason alone. I always act too nice and polite, and they always treat me the same - like crap. Maybe it's to do with my looks, maybe I'm just unlucky I don't know. But in my life, people are horrible, even my family half the time.

Real life v.s. Online personality

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